Adult Finger Painting: It really does exist!!!

Many times as an exaggeration on this site, I’ve used the term “adult finger painting” to describe the art made by talentless perpetual toddlers who are all grown up and infesting Brooklyn. I even once did a Fishing for Hipsters attempt on Craigslist saying there was a finger painting contest happening in McCarren Park for people 25 and up. These pseudo-creative types are opening gallery after art bar after gallery after art loft and its all full of shit. This so called ‘scene’ is completely saturated and played out – just get the fuck out of Brooklyn already with this corny try-hard bullshit. Tell me, how is it possible for a dirty looking beardo or some granny dress wearing Zelda to be sitting in some make-shift gallery all day slurping on lattes and micro-brews with a few horrible pieces of art on the walls and still pay his/her gentrification store and apartment rent; also being able to afford over-priced organic food and vintage clothing?

Link: Bushcraft – Adult Finger Painting!

“Bushcraft is a crafty group of artists who meet in Bushwick, Brooklyn to make art, eat, drink, have good conversation, and embark on occasional field trips.”

See they really are pioneers! They invented art, eating, drinking, socializing and going places – except they make it sound like they are in summer day camp. I really can’t take these people. Can you imagine about a decade or so ago someone telling you they know about this rilly rilly kewel place (anywhere in Brooklyn) where adults can fingerpaint together? Pussification at its finest.

172 thoughts on “Adult Finger Painting: It really does exist!!!

  1. Take a look at this if you have one minute to spare…

    It is, and I quote here, “one of (the ad writing douchenozzle) most labor intensive creation”. It’s a papier maché structure that the aforementioned douchethunder hand-painted (course you hand-painted it, you pointless wannabe artist) and covered in Lego pieces. Do you REALIZE ? He (or her, I dunno, I don’t even see the difference between today’s guys and girls anymore) hand-painted this BY HIMSELF ! With his tiny little hands and shit. I mean, that must count for something, right ? The motherfucker GLUED the motherfucking Lego pieces TOGETHER. NOW THAT’S SOMETHING, AIN’T IT ?

    Do you think someone ever told him Legos are meant to be plugged, not fucking GLUED together ? Do you think this genius thought for a second that his fucking monstruosity could have been way simpler to achieve if he simply used the Legos as they were meant to be ? My daughter, who is not even born yet, could make a “monogram letter” better, quicker and prettier than this !

    Also, WHAT THE FUCK ? 40 bucks for this ? For a papier maché letter smeared in glue and covered in Lego ? Of course, that is after seeing this ad that I read the website’s slogan, which is “Your place to buy and sell all things handmade, vintage and supplies”. I guess I should have read this before.

    ETSY – Your place to buy and sell half-assed stuff shit-tied together, dumpster truck garbage and glue to create art from anything.

    Be it in Montreal or in New York, it’s always a pleasure to make fun of these retards but it’s still angering me to see them drowning the market with their shitty, overpriced pieces of junk no one wants or asked for in the first place. Cause they’re fulfilling a need, ya know ? They probably know better than me what I need and want. Cause they’re so smart, ya know ? They’re so aware of the environment and they know how to worship the little things life is made of, ya know ?

    Oh and just for fun, one of these fucksters I used to work with (ended up firing him) recently told me that he knew N.Y.C better than some people who were living here and never saw anything else than the city. He explained that since he discovered the place later, he literally forced himself to explore the streets and then logically knew Manhattan better than anyone. He even knew this local sourced gelato maker on Hyuston. Past the surprise I had for this zany little streets explorator not even making the difference between “N.Y.C” and Manhattan, I simply said :
    - Hyuston ? Where is that ?
    - What where it – Hyuston. Hyuston Street. Near Bowery.
    - Oh, you mean HOUSTON.
    Motherfucker. I’m not a native. Hell, I’m not even American. I’m fucking FRENCH, from FRANCE (you know, that shitty country everybody’s supposed to praise when it comes to culture and culture and culture) and I know that it’s pronounced House-ton – simply because I try not to be as self-centered as these suckers are. Anyway, he was so flabbergasted I corrected him he didn’t even know what to say and simply stuttered a poor-ass excuse before leaving. All my colleagues burst into laughs. That was a good fucking day.

    • There’s no way Kickstarter, like indigoogoo and etsy, are ever, ever, ever going to admit to the full truth of how badly their systems are abused by roaming con artists worldwide. Because they don’t see it as their problem, they don’t ‘care’.

      And people who mistakenly say,”There are A LOT of good ideas our there.” are entirely wrong. There are rarely really good ideas. The really good ideas tend to be groundbreaking, not simply adding chrome to an existing idea that gets a new layer of chrome every six months.

      • Yup. Like turning a mason jar into a sippy cup.

        The funds required for their zany staycation is one thing. But patents cost money.
        First you file a provisional patent. Then a patent search is done. For the life of a patent the mmaintenance required could be upwards of a 100K. That’s a lot fo mason jars.

        My sister works in fashion accessories. A while back, I sent her a photo of the handcrafted knitted beard now shown in a recent DH post.Within a week she had samples from factories in Vietnam.

        I’d like to have these kickstarter a**wipes beaten to a bloody pulp for their dishonesty.

      • It’s not even that they feel it’s not their problem. The organizers of all three are so blown away by how kewl their little games are, that any grown-ups who ask “By the way, what are we going to do about fraud or copyright infringement?” are shunned.

        When I look at both Kickstarter and Etsy, I’m reminded of Tundra Comics, a comic company that started up twenty years ago. One of the two creators of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles took the literal millions he made off Ninja Turtle crap and decided he wanted to pay something back to the comics community. I had friends who tried working with Tundra, and they had nothing but horror stories. Lines of Cat Piss Men waiting for the boss to come in, and he’d hand out wads of $100 bills to them just because they asked. The legal counsel was the owner’s Uncle Morrie, who had no experience whatsoever with copyright or entertainment law, and Morrie almost signed away the Ninja Turtle rights in perpetuity to Houghton Mifflin because of one of his shitty contracts for a licensed coloring book. (Amazingly enough, Houghton’s lawyers contacted him and asked “Are you sure you want to do this?”, instead of running with it.) Lots and lots and lots of deals cut with comics wannabes, which would be promptly promoted and solicited for purchase, and the dweebs in question promptly took the money they received to get this done and blew it all on video games and weed.

        The long story short: Tundra lasted about two years on pure momentum until it was shut down. The punchline: you STILL have Cat Piss Men in the comics field who reminisce fondly about Tundra not because its comics were great, but because they wish they’d been involved during the height of the money giveaways.

    • I don’t know what the whining is about. Money means nothing to these uptalking mouth breathers.
      Complaining about these visionaries not following through on their promise is akin to
      handing 5 bucks over to a wino because he promised that he really would use the money to buy food.

      Besides 5-20 bucks is nothing to a a hipster. The only thing I can think is if it’s a Kickstarter ART ART ARTIST or musician they might “discover” him or her before everyone else and get him some hipster cred.

    • Yep. I wonder if Josh Ente is going to return the $3000 + he raised for his giant ballpit in New Orleans.

      In May, the city rejected him, even though he had gone ahead and started the project. He threw quite the tizzy fit on his Facebook page:

      “This is nothing if not a major update on the Ball Pit, alas it is one that makes me shocked, furious, and unspeakably disappointed to have experienced and now report. After having gained the initial approval for the project from the City of New Orleans’ offices of Safety & Permits and Zoning, early this past week I was hit with multiple cease and desist orders for my work on the house, which was a…
      t its final stages of preparation in advance of a planned opening one week from today.

      “A meeting was set for yesterday afternoon with myself and the executive directors of three city agencies. I had hoped to convince them that under further scrutiny they would still be correct in granting me approval; I was prepared for the possibility of a brief delay to hammer out kinks; the worst case scenario was I would be forced to undergo a full permit application and review that can last for several months. I never lacked for confidence in both the righteousness of the project and its appropriateness by the written law’s standard, and that the Ball Pit would (eventually) open as planned. It turns out they denied me the right or even possibility of doing anything at all, period.

      “It is impossible for me to convey how unrelenting their narrow-mindedness was, how thorough and complete their negativity. When I raised the obvious point that once I removed our gate and other protections, the house would immediately and once again become a haven for drug abuse and prostitution (including the extremely tangible prospects of assault and rape), these words were spoken: “We don’t care.” I was threatened with immediate arrest should I continue. Once again, when provided with an opportunity to rise up, our civic institutions have failed us. The rules of bureaucracy triumph where thoughtfulness, reason, priorities, and intelligence fall short. Shameful.”

  2. Kickstarter – The Bernie Madoff of hipsters…

  3. It is the Bernie Madoff of hipsters…majority are trustafarian’s who are so spoiled they want to squeeze money out of people other than their parents. Read some of those ‘projects’…people are ‘investing’ into stupid hipster ideas.

  4. And it all stems from having everything handed to you. Ask and you shall receive. Kickstarter in away, acts as surrogate parents/wet nurses to these d**che whistles.

    Growing up, my parents gave me everything we needed, but not everything we wanted.They were very selective. They bought my first bike. When I wore it out, it was up to me to get a second part time job and pay for it(I worked in the family business for free – well…15 bucks every two weeks).

    The effort required to earn enough to buy the things I wanted made sure that I considered my purchases carefully and took care of them.

    Hipsters risk nothin with Kickstarter. So the impetus and incentive to really think things out, formulate a viable planand work hard is not necessary. If they fail – oh well – hey..what’s that bright shiny thing?

    I wonder how many donors one would get if he or she put up a pedestrian but solid business idea up on Kickstarter – like a laundromat or a hardware store- in Brooklyn? Would it get as many donations as a laundromat/art gallery/yogurteria?

    • Solid businesses don’t stand a chance, because they aren’t cool enough. That said, if someone wanted to set up something similar to KickStarter that allowed small investors to get involved, I’d be all over that in a New York minute.

  5. I can do some of that “white” art ;)

  6. Oh wah wah wah! Let me create a blog hating on hipsters because my own life is so terribly black and vacuous that I can’t stand it that other people are having fun and exploring art! FOR FUN! ART FOR FUN HOW DARE THEY!!

    Let me post it here on this tiny little community where everyone will back me up and pat me on the back for my “bravery” in calling out this egregiousness. OMG I’M SUCH A HERO!

    Now my comrades in trollerly, let’s circlejerk as we stare deep into each other’s eyes, knowing we’re the only ones who ‘get it’.

    Man I hope hating black people comes back in style.

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