Here is this week’s i-Stole report courtesy of The Brooklyn Paper where we celebrate the thefts, robberies and beatings of idiotic and naïve hipsters and yupsters who don’t realize they are in a big bad city and still think they are in Minnesconsin.
Close your window you dumb bitch.
A crook got into a woman’s Lincoln Place apartment and swiped a bunch of goods — including a bottle of whiskey — sometime between July 28 and July 29.
The victim told police that she left her residence between Fifth and Sixth avenues at 9:30 pm on July 28 to go to a nearby bar and returned at about 1 am and went straight to bed.
When the woman awoke that morning she noticed that her MacBook computer, her mandolin case, $5 in quarters, sunglasses, a flower plant, and the bottle of booze, were missing. The woman told cops that she left her bedroom window open when she left her apartment, and noticed a hand smudge on the window possibly left by the perp, according to a police report.
Man on playcation works from 9am – 2pm
A bandit burglarized a man’s Fifth Avenue apartment and made off with more than $5,400 worth of electronics on July 29.
The 27-year-old victim told police that he left his abode between Lincoln Place and St. Johns Place to go to work at 9 am and when he retuned at 2 pm his iPad, $10, MacBook Pro laptop, and three camera lenses, were missing.
A beating of pure principle.
Police arrested a pair of perps who they say attacked two men as they came out of the Lorimer Street L train subway stop on July 24.The victims told police they were walking up the steps from the stop at the corner of Metropolitan Avenue at 1:29 am when a 25-year-old man and 34-year-old man pushed them, punched them in the face, threw a water bottle at them, and tore their shirts, leaving one victim with a broken nose and the other with bruises and scratches.
Gimme that phone Hayden!
A man was charged with robbery for allegedly stealing a guy’s iPhone on Jackson Street on July 25.
The victim told police that he was at the corner of Meeker Avenue at 12:15 pm when the robber grabbed him from behind and snatched the cellphone out of his hand. When the robber ran off, the victim flagged down a police car.The cop canvassed the area and found the alleged robber at the intersection of Metropolitan and Manhattan avenues. The 21-year-old suspect struggled and ran away, but the cops found him hiding nearby. One officer suffered minor injuries in the scuffle.
Someone broke into the safe of a nightclub on Berry Street and got away with $8,000 in cash on early in the morning of July 29.
The owner of the bar between N. 11th and N. 12th streets told police that someone stole the cash sometime between 4:30 am and 6:30 am. Police interviewed one of the employees who said he saw the door to the office wide open at 6:30 am. Several employees have keys to the office and the business.