zackdangerMeet, you guessed it – Zack! From, you guessed it – Ohio! Because it’s a myth that people with names like Zack, Caleb, Logan, and Mason come to Brooklyn from places like Ohio, Wisconsin, and Michigan for zany gentrification fun. Yeah, I was just making that up all these years. Anyway as I type this, he has collected over $16,000 on Kickstarter, with 25 fucking days to go,  to make potato salad but all he asked for was $10. The tech website C-NET and a local news station somehow found out about what they probably thought was a joke and posted it and it went viral with douchebags who pledged money calling this “epic’ and “legendary”. Look at Zack now: looks pretty normal and non-hipsterish if you ask me. But you just wait. I’d say there is about a 70% chance Zacky comes to the Holy Land of Bushpointburg to open an artisanal specialty potato salad shop – (probably with a quirky name like: P.S. I Love You) and transforms himself into an overly-tattooed, rolled-up jeans wearing, Cap’n Crunch moustached hipster fuck. Bets anyone? Bets?

 

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