Today, I saw Terrence and Beckett; the Hatfield and McCoy re-enacting, trust-funded beardos from Ohiasottasconsin waving their smelly hipster feet in the air as they were putting together their $80-a-jar of local Zebra urine brined pickles business plan to sell out of an abandoned zipper manufacturing factory on an unnamed street in Bushwick. So I put more pine tar on my Louisville Slugger than George Brett did in his entire career and beat them so hard that when the ambulance arrived, it looked like two eggplant parm heros were being carried out on stretchers. End of story.

barefoothipster