So a Molly (yep, another Molly), who arrived to Brooklyn a long, long 5 1/2 years ago in 2008, wrote a wayyyyy too long article about the complicated and excruciating life of a barista and her vast knowledge of Greenpoint – 5,606 words to be exact. Yes, 5,606 words about Greenpoint and only mentions the word “Polish” once. That is how self-centered and narcissistic these fucking transient hipsters are. Every single day, practically, they write articles about coffee, beer, food or the “current” neighborhood they live in as if they lifted a rock, or maybe a wooden board, OK let’s be realistic – we’re talking about hipster strength – a piece of loose leaf paper and discovered these things.
I’m not writing this rant to knock people in the service industry; I’m writing about the supposedly “educated”, “creative”, and “talented” crowd who’ve been swarming into our cities for the last 10-15 years taking these jobs while they wait to be “discovered” and making these jobs seem whimsical. I’ve got news for you Zoey – if you’re selling 10 craft bracelets a month on Etsy while being a part-time kale ‘n egg brunch server – give it up and go back to Michigan. I’ve also got news for you Brent – if you’re over 25 and can only play smelly hipster dive bars or attract 8 people on the Bedford Ave L train platform – you ain’t getting discovered. Do you fucking hipsters ever wonder that maybe if you weren’t ADULTS with so many exposed tattoos, pierced noses and stretched earlobes, dirty and purposely messy hair that MAYBE, just MAYBE you’d be more presentable and get the jobs you really wanted?
So Molly, if you’re reading this, next time you might want to consider mentioning a bit more, the families of various nationalities that have been in Greenpoint for the last 50 – 100 years that had to leave to make way for insufferable, whiny, playcationers like yourself who play with chemistry set coffee makers.