Today, I saw flute-physiqued Xander struggling to carry a bag of Sriracha flavored artisanal popcorn up to his $3,200 a month, 105 year old,  5th floor walk-up apartment in Bushwick. So I scaled the outside of the building; climbed through his window; and greeted him at the front door with Shoryuken Ryu Street Fighter uppercut which shattered his bony bearded face. End of story.