Canadian cyclist receives hipster beating.

canadian-bike-hipsterLook at this whiny, Q-tip limbed, entitled cyclist fuck with his standard-issue hipster beard & thick frames. Nobody will ever know, but I’m sure prior to the confrontation he was probably doing something to taunt and provoke the driver; trying to prove that cyclists should have more rights than cars. I can’t help laughing when reading this part of the article:

“He was making threats at me at this point in time, indicating that he had martial arts experience and could take me down,” says Hoey.”He did pull my hand into the car. I managed to free it, and in freeing it pulled some papers out from his passenger side seat and threw them on the sidewalk.”

Hoey said the motorist then tried to drive his vehicle into him, before getting out of his car and twisting Hoey’s arm behind his back.That’s when Hoey says a handful of witnesses pulled the motorist off of him, and police were called to investigate.

Link: CBC NEWS – Cyclist and driver square off in Vancouver

They call this twerp a “cyclist” but what I think he is 35 year old bike messenger who can’t do shit with his $100,000 liberal art school diploma. If you notice he has some sort of document tube sticking out his back pack and he drops his radio when the guy almost snaps his windshield wiper arm.




63 thoughts on “Canadian cyclist receives hipster beating.

    • Video Commentary:

      Dude from the white car clearly says “Give me my fucking shit back.” more than once.

      Yeah, you know – if you antagonize someone, they just might twist your fucking pretzel arm back the wrong way.

      This is what I hate about these fuckers, they think they can “handle it”, but when it comes down to a REAL confrontation, all of that bravado fades in the face of a real man who is extremely pissed off.

      As we pan closer to the bike – yep, its a fucking fixie. My only regret is that I can’t leap through the video portal somehow and administer a nice follow-on pummeling myself.

      Slipper shoes and grey stockings on a bike? Check.

      God, what a fucking asshole.

  1. “…twisted his arm behind his back.”


    That probably took zero effort.

  2. Beautiful. Seems like the mysterious Hipster Beater is making his way across the Americas.

  3. …another pussy in tights doing dumb shit. Those other fucks would have been punched in their yuppified faces for interfering.

  4. The best part is, Canadians are usually a lot nicer than Americans, and I’d rank Vancouver as a much safer city than Seattle, so the fact that hipsters are receiving this level of rage up there is a good sign. Let’s hope the people of Seattle will take a hint from their neighbors to the north and direct some of those muggings and shootings that keep happening in a more constructive direction.

  5. Constant battle with bicycles here in SF. And like yah deed, they got the right of way. You better remember that!!!! Anyone from SF bay see those turquoise rental bikes on Market st, North beach or elsewhere? Are those in NYC too? Just wondering. Is that a new hipster/tourist business? Not sure. We HATE hipsters in SF too.

    • And to hear a Canadian hipster get taken down on this video… Well, had a sort of kazoo sound yah?

      • Here in SF I ignore the hipsters as much as possible. But driving is a scary subject. Because Josh from Idaho (most of them Ohioans) have the right of way. BTW DH, normal SF people don’t repeat “like” and “yah” and so like “dude” etc. I’m not clear where that lingo came from but normal SF folks never say that. Crazy, but I hear people use the word “like” 20 times per sentence… And they’re all in their 20′s -40′s. That clues me in that they’re young and non-native to SF. Especially not native to NY. (I lived in Forest hills for a few years but separated from spouse) so, like yah deed and like…. Kill me now!!;) just making a quick note to you. I love all you guys and ladies in NYC!!!

        • The way they talk is pretty much directly imported from California. First it spread up the West Coast to Seattle and Portland, and then it made its way to the Midwest and the suburbs in general. I find it hard to believe that somehow it skipped over San Francisco because it definitely didn’t skip over the rest of the “Bay Area”.

    • Yep. there are rental bikes in NYC. Citibikes. I call them corporate sponsored yuppie trikes.

  6. I actually know this dweeb, he does belong to an elite group of cyclists who believe they are about the laws of the road and deserve special treatment. I almost ran one over yesterday because he was riding all over the road aimlessly not paying attention. He pulled a spazz and yelled something

  7. I found his Facebook page, in which he makes reference to having the best birthday ever at a kickball party.

  8. Those fucking gentrifying pieces of shit cannot handle real life street situations.

  9. So the cyclist tried to steal the man’s radio. Hmmm, trust fund running low methinks. Maybe he had a “Girls” moment when Mom and Pop finally decided to cut the umbilical cord.

  10. Math question: Hipster A is is carrying a 5-gallon jug of holistic triple-filtered rainwater on his custom fixie, moving at 18 mph toward Williamsburg to make it to the kickoff of his first adult kickball tournament after the weekly Critical Mass tantrum. Hipster B is carrying a 5-gallon carboy of artisanal traditionally-fermented vinegar, specially gathered from the leftover box wine from a successful fingerpainting tournament, on his vintage rusted-out Schwinn bike with the original daisy-encrusted front basket. Hipster B is moving at 14 mph toward Portland for the opening of his new action figure museum, hosted in his insanely overpriced apartment on SE Alberta. When they collide because they assume that traffic laws and crossing lights only apply to “mundanes”, what sound do they make upon impact?

    Answer: “DOUCHE!”

  11. Canadians are cheap assholes anyhow, they interlope into America all the time just to save a few bucks on gas and are fucking rude about it, cant park straight in parking lots, cant drive, stuff 15+ jerry cans of gas into the backs of mini vans then drive like idiots with a rolling bomb down the interstate.

  12. First off, I’ve lurked on this site for a long time (before the quasi-shutdown early last year) and was thrilled it came back – I check it every day (the people posting comments here REALLY bring their A-game). Second, I’m one of those hipster-haters abroad. Third, I’m also a Canadian cyclist. However, I’m talking long-distance road and mtn biking here, things that take actual athletic ability. Any hipster wannabe I’ve ever seen riding looks to barely have the arm/leg strength required to pick up a half-empty can of PBR. What, is the weight of all those tattoo’s holding you down? Morons riding fixies in big cities while texting, smoking, holding a coffee and living in their own abstract headspace fantasy-lands are about the opposite of my experiences. Lastly, I know that bad behaviour of people riding bicycles on the road is a subject that pisses a lot of people off, and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t one of them.

    All that being said, this story makes my blood boil. I cycled to work (nearly) year-round for eight years and I always obeyed the rules of the road and never gave drivers any hassle. You know what? I NEVER HAD ANY PROBLEMS!! Imagine that – if you don’t act like a douchebag (see above) things generally turn out fine. If there’s ever a confrontation between a car and bicycle, the guy on the bike loses every time. Would you rather be dead right? Jesus Christ, this is common sense here. WTF?!? Although one takeaway from DH’s posts is that hipsters have no common sense.

    Anyways, I know what I try to do is NEVER enough. You get one entitled, lazy, arrogant, dickwad with an exaggerated sense of his own importance and it undoes the good that one hundred cyclists like me do. I would argue that no one should be deliberately hit with a car in this situation, but fists are fine.

    For reference, most of Canada hate the people in Vancouver. Don’t give me any crap about how great the Olympics were either – that was a special gig for two weeks of the year. The other 50 weeks it’s back to normal.

    • Pre-fucking-cisely my northern friend.

      The formula seems to be this:

      Take formerly good activity + entitled crybaby attitude = Ruined hipsterized activity.

      The pendulum will swing the other way eventually, and I really look forward to the collective look of shock and dismay as their carefully crafted personas shatter under the weight of reality punching them right in their smug little faces.

      Not all bikers are shitbirds, but it only takes a few to fuck it all up – sorry, the hipsters have ruined things again. Just stick with it though, they’ll be on the outs soon enough.

  13. Man, with those canadian accents, i couldn’t help but look upon that video as if it were a great Kids in the Hall Sketch. Sheeit, if normally complacent and peaceful Canadians are losing it in the street like some vids you see coming out of Russia, then western civilization is definitely at the point of imminent collapse. Oh, and seeing that hipster get beat was a great way to start the day.

  14. I love how he’s wearing that sling for his hand. From that video it does’nt even look like he was hurt that much…….what a little bitch!

    • OMG…you mean to tell me the sling wasn’t made from a scarf?!? Where’s his [so-called] creativity?!? And he calls himself a hipster?!? Maybe he’ll be excommunicated from the fixie faith!

    • Of course he’s injured. Aside from being humiliated the big guy threw the little bitch an ass whooping. He’d hurt his pinky if the wind blew

    • Remember that nasally kazoo-voiced social worker from that episode of “King of the Hill”? The one with that wrist splint? HAHAHAHAHA

      • Haha I liked the archaeologist guy better. “You’re making yourself look like a fool” *gets pushed in the hole* Okay you’ve made your point” *gets pushed in the hole* “I like getting pushed in the hole. Please push me in the hole” Bobby: “Okay” *pushes him in the hole*

        Or the guy that drug addict uses to force Hank to do whatever he wants at work.

  15. The guy in the car is a whiny fuck, too.

  16. What is with these hipsters and their attractions to filthy cities? They are magnets to filth!

    • I would imagine it’s like money marrying money – same principal applies.

      • Could you imagine if hipsters were confronted like that today?

        The collective flood of liquified Mast Brothers “product” would be beyond overwhelming.

        The catch 22 though, is that they never would’ve dared stepped a boney foot here anyway if things were still that bad.

        It’s a shame, really: What a waste of precious thug resources!

  17. Why is he making a Nazi salute in that picture?

  18. Lmao! What a freaking pansy! I’m surprised he didn’t start screaming for help. Couldn’t even find a muscle in that 11 year old girl shaped body of his.

  19. Tonight, as I was mashing around in my gasoline powered four-wheel-drive vehicle enjoying the five or six inches of fresh snow here in flyoverlandia, I saw what I assumed was a little old lady stuck in a plow ridge but was actually Kaine the emaciated helpless hip-tard trying to get home after taking 473rd place in the weekday afternoon pop-up snowball fight. So I pushed his car free, punched his smug face, stole the car, backed over him with it, and donated it to a local non-profit who’s sole mission is to remove pretentious cyclists from our streets. End of story.

    • Ironically, yep, and I mean hipster-infused IRONICALLY, when my spouse picked me up from work today we were leaving Safeway parking lot on to Mission st main drag at 30th st (for those who know SF) and Joshie beardo on his fixie is blocking all cars from exiting parking lot. He had earbuds in and was rummaging through his Manhattan portage bag. So my spouse (not too close to him went around him) and hipster screams “HEY!!!” I was very proud of my husband who is calm and gentle screamed back “FUUUUUCCCCKKKK YOOOOOUUUUU ASSSSSHHHOOOLLLEEE!!!!” Even the nicest guys HATE THOSE USELESS artisinal sustainable cock-sucking space-wasters. The Josh was just sitting there blocking us all doing whatever and we all had to sit there and wait for this entitled pussy??? Nope. In another minute I would’ve beat his ass (I’m small)

      • It feels better to vent… Thanks everyone😩😅

      • The cluelessness and outright rude behavior of a lot of these hipsters never ceases to amaze me. I’ve witnessed the “digging through the man-purse” hipster blocking the movement of normal people with actual things to do more times than I can count.

        In the case of the guy I pushed out of the snowbank last night, I honestly couldn’t believe it was a “man” in that car. I had passed him about 30 minutes before I saw him again so I decided I’d better make sure whoever was in the car was okay. Dude locked the doors when I parked and started walking towards him. Finally he opened his window a crack and said “I’ve got someone coming”, and that he hadn’t tried to get himself free for almost an hour. WTF?? Sitting there, blocking the entire road for an hour, and you can’t get your linguini legs out of the car and try to dig or push yourself free? Seriously?
        And we’re only talking a few inches of snow. It was super easy for me to get him out by myself.

        It kinda takes the “feel good” moment out of helping a stranger when you realize it’s just some vapid interloper who could have helped himself if he had a clue about anything…

  20. Too many douchebag cyclists in Portland – the article says that “… H[ipster] had allegedly tried to damage the driver’s vehicle.”

    That probably meant that the cyclist either slapped his fist on the car or tried to hit it with a bike lock, two favorite tactics of thug cyclists – they think people won’t react to people trying to damage their car, especially because people in the Pacific NW (or SW, since it’s Canada) are so guilt-ridden about driving.

    Looks like someone just got called on their bike thugging. The guy could have done much worse than putting him in an armbar.

  21. We need another Brooklyn/Not Brooklyn photo comparison. I like those a lot.

  22. This was obviously a hate-crime. Seriously, you guys!

  23. ” Hoey ” is no doubt quite upset that although he did have his long dreamed of gritty-urban-cyclist Look-At-Meee moment ,he can’t blog it out to every piece of I-Crap in every free-trade coffee shop with-out showing his pencil-necked girlie-boy response to the confrontation .

  24. I simply do not understand what went wrong here? The cyclist thoughfully went out of his way to helpfully scold an Audi driver about BICYCLE RIGHTS!!!1! — and this is how the Gaia-raping driver thanks him?! By comitting a hate-crime?!

    • Haha that was hilarious! I don’t understand how these stupid fucking hipsters actually think they’re tough! It’s like they don’t even understand the words they’re saying because they’ve never had to back them up before.

      • I love it when they try to be confrontational and tough in their unitards and when they get punched they cry like little girls

        • Haha yeah, but first it’s that annoying, whiny yelling like “How dare you hit me! What the FUCK did you do that for?” trying to get all big and angry that they got punched in the face.

  25. Honestly, what happened to actually fucking somebody up? Really, as much as this guy won the fight, he didn’t fuck the kid up. Most of these videos are either ganging up on a guy or in this case a guy who needs to try really hard to beat up a fucking Culdesacia little hipster!

    He stole your shit! Take advantage of it! What, just because he’s a pussy ass little hipster somehow he’s not still a thief?

  26. I finally watched it with the sound on. Jesus that car driver sounds like a pussy.

  27. How is this little shit not in jail right now for theft?

  28. wow, did you guys get that story fucked up. The dude is a a courier. A guy and his lot has more balls than any fucking faggot ass wearing affliction wearing asshole or any redneck trucker I’ve seen. I like the site, but you guys got the story about 100% wrong. The dude has been doing it for years and has lived a rougher life than any of you east coast shits have ever. I’m pretty fucking sure he never went to school. And did you assholes know that they actually figured out that most hipsters in your beloved brooklyn come from with a few hundred miles of there. Not the midwest. We from the midwest don’t make hipsters. We punch the fuck out of faggots from the coasts.

    I like your site, but you guys sound like ignorant hipster bitches

    • Nice rant you whiny little bitch. Nothing like some internet tough guy crying about how tough bicycle couriers are. Do us all a favor and crawl back to your Midwest, white trash hometown.

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