watertowerspeakeasyI simply can’t believe the lengths these fucking hipster cockrags will go to be zany whimsical pieces of shit. A few months ago some try-hard 1920’s re-enacting douches converted an abandoned water tower in Chelsea into a whiskey-only secret speakeasy that was by invite only. You had to be randomly given a pocketwatch in the street (or something kooky and insanely awesome like that) to be invited. It was SUCH A BIG SECRET, yet they told the NY Times, Animal NY, The Atlantic, and The New Yorker according to their website that of course has the extremely played out handlebar moustache as its logo and plenty of pictures to keep the secretiveness of this self-absorbed project, well you know, not secret; because in the end, it always always always going to be about “LOOOOOK AT MEEEEEE”!!! How, after all this evidence is out there, are these try-hards not being arrested? The names of the people who ran it are all on the website; there’s tons of pictures and even this video below. Now, you can bet, if any of those Linuses, Maxwells, Zooeys, Auroras, or Calebs got asbestos poisoning from those paint chips in the hallway, or if that watertower came crashing down, or a fire started by having an abundance of candles and whiskey in a wooden water tower – and any of those “precious creative types” got injured or killed – Mommy and Daddy back in Culdesacia, WiscoPennsylKotahio would be suing everybody in this city for not watching after their fully grown adult children. I FUCKING CAN’T STAND THESE HOMOGENIZING PIECES OF HIPSTER SHIT ALREADY!

LinkThrillest.com: Speakeasy in a Chelsea Watertower.

The video is not embedding so watch it here: http://vimeo.com/66447748#at=0