More savings from Weekday Brunches

eggsA few weeks ago I posted some really good deals on apartment rentals like $4995 per month in Williamsburg as advertised on the website – the website for newly arrived, money-conscious hipsters struggling in the magical land of Brooklyn. Well the other day they wanted to reach out to those certain poor strugglers who eat brunch between Monday and Friday during working hours and point them in the direction of some real bargains such as:

Cafe Ghia in Bushwick – Vegan Scrambled Eggs with Kale and Tofu – only $10. Wash it down with a $7.00 bloody mary. Just be careful though, if the hipster beater sees you eating that pretension-on-a-plate you might be using a Louisville Slugger as a toothpick to get the kale out of your teeth.

Robertas Pizza in Bushwick - Ah yes, good old Robertas. Here you can score a bacon egg and cheese on a roll for a mere $9.00 instead of $2.50 at a regular deli. Why are you going to pay more at Robertas? Because the sandwich is ‘hand-crafted’ by a fucking beardo from Chatanooga you dumbass, that’s why. Ask your waiter about their local rooftop kale – the offical vegetable of the Brooklyn hipster.

Egg in Williamsburg – Put on your all-season scarf, your darkest indoor shades, and your tightest jeans because you are about to eat $9.00 pancakes sprinkled with Vermont maple syrup baby! Coffee has been reduced to only $3.00 a cup! Fill’er up Cadence!

Now remember, don’t thank me, thank the team at helping funemployed poor gentrifiers find $17.00 brunches at 1pm on Tuesdays.

Link: – Brooklyn’s Best Affordable Brunch Spots

117 thoughts on “More savings from Weekday Brunches

  1. Brooklyn; well on it’s way to becoming the laughing stock of the 5 boroughs.

    On another note.

    Before this post takes off, could someone tell me the first emergence of the one called “Stevie”.

  2. I saw this last night — a flashmob from Spain of people playing Ode to Joy:

    People showing up and playing beautiful music that others can appreciate. It isn’t an exercise in look-at-meism, it’s the creation of art for its own sake.

    Now contrast this with how hipsters typically do things. Caleb, Molly, Megan, Hummus and other random beardos all pile onto a subway train with their damn skinny jeans, scarves and ski hats on a summer day and start blaring a random collection of banjos, kazoos and bagpipes to a captive audience. They video themselves being edgy and creative so that it can be posted on their blog/twitter/fbook/myspace, etc. for all their friends back in Minohpennska to watch and rage with envy.

    • A lovely show. This is the type of performance that should get more attention, just for the talent alone and not for its own sake.

    • So even though all flash mobs are by definition contrived and have a “look” factor, there’s a real difference between the “look” and the “at meeeeeeeeeee” focus.

      This one certainly looks like a bunch of potential hipsters but it’s more about everyday talent and fun. In my opinion it’s low on the pretension scale and they seem to be doing something they love in a particular form. Most importantly, it seems to bring pleasure to at least some people and gives them something to appreciate, rather than just creating a self centered nuisance. I had a kazoo in 2nd grade, I used it to annoy people and draw negative attention to myself, but somewhere along the way I moved on.

    • “Ode To Joy” brings back some wonderful memories. When my boy was in Pre-K He had been taking piano lessons and my wife and I never hesitated to take him to any free concert in our area but he was never exposed to a full blown orchestra.

      One morning we took him to the Kimmel center in Philly for a kid’s program on Beethoven.
      He was squirming in his seat, generally disinterested in the demonstrations by the musicians.

      Then they played “Ode to Joy” – which as to be one of the most uplifting and powerful pieces ever written. He sat still, mouth open, watching the orchestra and did not move or say a word until it was over. while everyone applauded, he just sat there.

      When the applause died down, he tapped me on the arm and said, “can they do it again, daddy?”

  3. Ill stick with my two egss over home fries and bacon, coffe with sugar and milk made by some Dominican dude in the back of his bodega on stove. Greasy and fucking good all for 5.50…A true hangover cure!!!!!!

    • YES! That’s a true New York breakfast right there dude… and also, I love the bacon, egg and cheese on a roll for $3 at the corner coffee truck. No licebeards, no kazoos, no pretentious bullshit, just a simple (but delicious and greasy) fucking egg, bacon and cheese sandwich.

  4. Wow, that was frickin’ beautiful. So nice to see real musicians playing real music. They give artists a good name.

  5. The concept of brunch pushes me over the edge, the sheer laziness…..the pictures on the Brokelyn site of their brunch spots were revolting, Who eats that shit?

    • Brunch is for the people that wake up too fuckin late in the morning and still have an appetite for the breakfast menu, but not necessarily your typical ham and eggs. It also lets them feel better about ordering a double bloody for $15 because it’s ‘so close to, like noon’. My wife likes to brunch, but I tell her i’d already had breakfast………call your GF’s, I’ll watch the kid.

    • “BushPointBurgFortSlopeVille Brunch” – a contrived dining experience perfectly suited for wastes of oxygen who don’t have any place important to go (like, work, yah) at 11:30 on any particular weekday. I can go to Danny & Andy’s Deli, on Schermerhorn Street and Get a “Hungry Man Breakfast” hero with eggs, potatoes, ham, bacon AND sausage for $4.50.

      I should start selling artisanally prepared S.O.S. (Shit on a shingle) for 15 bucks a serving. Real shit (my cat studied culinary arts at the Neckbeard Foodie Institute and Bowl-a-Rama on Wythe Ave.) on a tar shingle, not that creamed chipped beef on toast stuff. I’ll even throw in a bottle of Prestone Antifreeze infused Newtown Creek spring water gratis for an additional $7.50.

    • what the hell is wrong with brunch? i’ll admit maybe it should have stuck to sundays

      • My problem isn’t with brunch itself; the problem is that site is supposed to help Brooklynites find deals and bargains and they tell people where to find $10 poached eggs. It’s gentrification cheerleading in disguise. Also, what normal person – that would need to find bargains – eats brunch between 11 and 2 on a weekday? What a joke.

        • It’s a custom that started in New York in the early 1900s as a way for people to get over hangovers after drinking on Saturday night…Just yet another real, unpretentious thing for hipsters to colonize and ruin for the rest of us.

    • I love brunch because it’s usually breakfast with a buffet of extra breakfast stuff. Pork, pork products everywhere. Anytime you get breakfast when it’s not breakfast time is awesome time.

      But I love breakfast. I wish I was a Hobbit so I could have three a day.

  6. ” Locally-sourced egg dishes like smoked salmon…”
    Ah, yes, from the yearly salmon migration up the Gowanus Canal. Smoked over sustainable, artisianally reclaimed lumber from the Williamsburg Mercury Thermometer Works.

    • And served on plates artisinally crafted from organic clay from the Bushwick Radium Watch Factory. An after dark special!

      • everyone in the biz knows that brunch is when your “B” team is working and it’s the opportunity to clear out the fridge of foodstuffs. also – the rule of thumb is that 30$ of the cost of your entree should be allocated to food costs.

        So please tell me how a fucking egg snadwich could have 4 dollars worth of goddamn ingredients?

    • The salmon could be seen in the kitchen, their wan, twisted, herring-like bodies flipping weakly on the counter, all three eyes drooping shut as they croaked, “Kill… Me…”

  7. Fuck that shit. I found a Polish restaurant in alphabet city with a huge breakfast for about five bucks.

    • I’ve come across some Cuban restaurants just like that as well. Good tasting food, and great coffee, piled high on the plate for days and all for under $6.

  8. yeah, fuck kale!

    • And Hayden, Hummus, Zach, Moronica, Zoe and Meghan.

    • I like Kale, but I prefer mine not be marinated in exhaust fumes and acid rain on a rooftop somewhere in NYC. Also, I prefer it not be ridiculously overpriced.

    • Kale does have it’s place though. Like in a soup with chunks of chourico served up from just about anywhere in Fall River, MA.

    • Nutritionally, kale is a pretty fucking awesome food, but I can’t stand to eat it. I used to feed it to our turtles and tortoises, and they would gobble that up like nobody’s business.

      But even if it was a mean animal, I’d never feed it rooftop kale from the city. Ground-grown, maybe, from a proper, isolated garden, but rooftop? I can only imagine the number of toxins and pollutants its soaked up by the time it’s grown.

  9. this just in:
    Get Carter
    H.W. Carter & Sons launch their first-ever menswear emporium in Williamsburg

    To know true craftsmanship, you’ve got to hold an item in your hands. Let it talk to you. Let it say, “I was forged with care and expertise. I do not know this Cyber Monday of which you speak.”

    Letting you put your hands on 150 years of heritage: the historic H.W. Carter & Sons, now operating their very first rugged menswear shop in Williamsburg.

    Carter got their start crafting overalls in New Hampshire before Lincoln was hunting vampires took office, and now they’re peddling their own brawny trousers and union jackets, plus 50+ tough-luxe brands you’ll find hardly anywhere else:

    Shirts and Pants: Carter stocks the artfully stitched button-downs of Our Legacy, straight outta Stockholm, and raw indigo selvedge from LA’s Rising Sun.

    Jackets and Sweaters: Mister Freedom’s club-collared denim masterpiece, retro wool varsity cardigans from Oregon’s Dehen, and Italian label Esemplare’s wool bomber (one of the best we’ve ever seen).

    Shoes: Carter’s collab’d with UK shoe legends Grenson on a glossy wingtip boot. There are 12 pairs total. Get one.

    Carter also carries an array of heirloom accessories, as well as grooming supplies.

    So plenty to get your hands on.

    Carter doesn’t have an online shop for their curated goods, but we’ve collected the must-have items right over here.
    $325 for a “Union Jacket” ?!?! speechless? I am.

    • Hopefully, this joint will be looted and burnt to the ground during the next blackout.

    • These are work clothes! We bought them for cheap, serviceable work wear before the Seattle grunge scene made them fashionable. Also the ones we bought were union made in America. And if I’m going to spend $325 for a jacket it’ll be made of leather, not 12oz denim. $25 for a bandana? A bargain compared to Bushsmarts at $35!

      • The Seattle grunge scene didn’t make them fashionable – a bunch of marketing and fashion people in New York and Los Angeles did. Before that, it’s just what blue-collar people in the Pacific Northwest (who made up the core of the music scene there – Kurt Cobain’s dad was an auto mechanic, and his mom was a waitress, while the singer from Tad was a logger) wore to keep themselves warm.

      • I came here to post about that bandana. $25.

        Let me repeat: $25 for a bandana.


        It’s not even some special fabric. It’s 100% cotton. *I* could open up my own shop selling bandanas, rent a space in the mall, and hire a staff, and still not have to charge $25 per bandana.

        My god. I need to find a way to take advantage of people who spend $25 on a piece of cloth.

        • Why take advantage of people when there are more than enough smarmy, need-to-stay-current-or-I’ll-like-not-be-edgy-enough-in-the-empty-eyeglass-framed-eyes-of-my-equally stupid-peers neckbeards who are more than happy to spend their parents’ money on worthless shit?

    • Da fsck izzat sh*t? I can get name brand motorcycle gear that will save my life for those prices! That place should be naped. What unmitigated, pretentious gall selling work costumes to wastes of water that are allergic to work…


    • They’ll wear a $325 “Union Jacket”, but hate labor unions. What a bunch of phonies and frauds.

      • Union bosses are the only ones left who can afford that stuff.

        • Things to thank unions fighting for…
          40 hour work weeks
          safer working conditions
          fair pay
          overtime pay
          health benefits
          financial benefits

          If a company could work you for free and toss you on a heap the minute you got hurt or showed signs of age, they would.

          Oh, wait, they already do that. Oddly enough, since the greedy pol’s began busting unions and weakening their influence over the last 20 years. A lot of people saber rattle about ‘buying American’ but don’t value the American workers who help make and produce those products. Is everything unions do perfect? not by a long shot. Corruption? Sometimes. But if you are so nieve to think there should be no filtering or protective influence between workers and companies, you are living in a fantasyland.

  10. “Vegan Scrambled Eggs with Kale and Tofu?”

    That actually sounds delicious!

    I could make that myself for a third of the cost, though.

  11. Elsewhere in real Brooklyn… There are plenty of places where an entire menu of dishes including Steak and Eggs will run you 12$-17$ including unlimited mimosas, domestic beer or well drinks for the entire seating. But they’re not hip enough to be “seen” in and I’m more than happy to keep it that way. Tools.

  12. I’d like to create a menu for these hipsters that included the optionally mandatory choice of:
    “Four years of exotic combat overseas on top of cool, whipped PTSD servied with authentic Costa Rican sea surf salt combined with the ultimate shock-pain topping of being arrested, thrown into a prison run by drug cartels, chained to a bed for four months, your family routinely called and threatened with the ending of your life if you don’t give them money, all to make an example out of ‘gringos’ who dare to visit with their great-grandfathers antique shot-bb-gun. For dessert, knowing that only a mere 8,000 out of your millions of countrymen have signed a meaningless petition to bring you back from said prison when you’re just over the border. Free iced tea and locally sourced orange slice included.”

    Fuck hipsters and their empty, meaningless, narcissistic pursuits over fashion, food, and music.

    Suck on all the things that are wrong right now for Jon Hammar and all the horrific implications of his situation indicate about everyone who has so little interest in his plight. Put yourself in he and his mother’s shoes and then DARE to tell me how significant your fucking complaints in Life are. You’re a damned fucking shame, end of story.

    • Guh. That story. I have (American and Mexican) family in Mexico, and there’s a vengeful ex-wife/mother in the mix, and I’m forever worried that someone down there is going to wind up in Mexican prison. It’s a nightmare just to think about. I can’t imagine what that Marine and his family are going through.

      • Was talking with a Guatemalen native yesterday and he said while he’d love to take his kids there, it’s virtually impossible to do without being robbed. By the police.

  13. You can go to NY Times-approved the best egg and cheese on a bagel at the Knapp Street Bagel Cafe kinda where Marine Park, Sheepshead Bay and Gerritsen Beach meet for a fraction of these prices. And they have anything else you could want for a delicious breakfast-bacon,sausage, lox, eggs, good coffee.Also, there are a number of diners you can barely get into on a Sunday morning like the Oasis on Flatbush and Quentin-clean, delicious, plentiful portions, reasonable. But if you want to overpay for pretentous crap, can’t stop you.

    • argh MC Solaar!

      read anything about the lives of any great modern artist. they had NOTHING to do with these hipster frauds. nothing at all. They were great lovers, great men who lived life intensely. The people who are the subject of htis site are loser frauds with too much college debt, a lousy job, a weak imagination, and haven’t ever spoken to a real woman in their entire lives.

      • So True. I remember the East Village and LES back in the 80s, before Giuliani transformed it into suburban Peoria. I remember the types of artists who moved there in those days and how much rougher they were than today’s pussies. I think the biggest difference is that those guys never tried to change the place to suit themselves. They adapted themselves to suit the place.
        Back then, living below Houston, meant dodging drug dealers and bullets, sleeping in empty buildings and storefronts and way more interesting people. An Orthodox synagogue, a Chinese sweatshop and a transvestite BDSM dungeon in the same building wasn’t unusual. We loved it that way. If you didn’t like it, you moved back to Brooklyn or Queens or wherever you came from. People were genuinely zany and quirky and generally only moved there because they were misfits back in their hometowns (usually they were gay). Sure, most of the art was crap but so what? They were always finding new ways to shock people. Their numbers were small. They supported themselves working temp jobs in Wall Street or waitering or whoring. They partied, drugged and fucked themselves to death sometimes but they had fun.

        Compare that to today’s no-muscle-toned smellybeards – you get the picture already.

    • I’ll bet all those noise complaints were hipsters complaining they couldn’t concentrate on their 3am band practice with all that homophobic-meathead salsa and rap music blaring outside.

    • He’s trying to wash windshields by remote channeling, but screwed it up. As usual.

  14. To hell with all this fancy food bullshit. Kale, tofu and eggs? WTF? Are these people kidding?

    THIS is what Brooklyn looks like. My buddy John Riccio being honored tonight at the People’s Firehouse Christmas party in Williamsburg for his service to the folks hit hardest by the storm. I think he made something like 1,400 meals for the victims on Thanksgiving.

    • Maybe Mr. Ricco can pledge some $ from his food budget to help the starving.

      • Funemployed flyover state viruses who rather play kickball than earn a living don’t count as “starving”. Just useless. Time for a dumpster brunch, Josh and Zoe.

      • How much time and money did YOU no-account pricks kick in to Sandy vics?

        • The flyover artist fakes who didn’t run home to Mom and Dad in Minnehiowa before Sandy hit filmed videos of themselves at “Hurricane Parties”, and carefree, whimsically skateboarding and riding their fixies in the rain and going to all their usual $50 scrambled egg brunch spots. Let’s not forget the dumbshits who left it up to their neighbors to take care of their whimsically-named urban chickens left to float around in the flood waters. That’s pretty indicative of the type of people they are.

          Good to see there are real Brooklynites willing to do something for people other than themselves. Good on your friend. Josh and Zoe have a lot to learn from him, but I am afraid they are unteachable wastes of space despite their useless 6-figure, 6-year Private Liberal Arts College ART ART ART ART ART ART degrees.

      • John is a thousand times a better person than you could ever hope to be.

  15. Brunch is for when you’re on vacation (like funemployed hipsters) or the morning after a blowout and you’re looking for the hair of the dog. If you work, you eat breakfast. When it’s my Saturday to take mom to the laundromat and shopping we go to the coffee shop around the corner from the fluff ‘n fold where the nice Greek owners let us split an egg white omelette platter with tea for her and lotsa coffee for me all for the low, low price of $6.99.

  16. “Vegan Scrambled Eggs” sounds like an oxymoron.

    • Vegan here- most likely they’re using a vegan substitute for eggs. “Scrambled vegan egg substitute” doesn’t have the same ring to it.

      • I wonder what a vegan substitute for eggs would be like…still, I can’t think of any justification for paying $10 for eggs, vegan or not.

        • Probably a locally produced, organic lungie. “Vegan”. In what solar system is that located? Do vegans keep meat eating plants as window decor? H. Jay Dinshah started the American Vegan Society, linking veganism to the Jain concept of ahimsa, the avoidance of violence against living things. Studies have proven that plants, being living organisms, feel pain. So, vegans are hypocrites. In order to live by the tenet “avoidance of violence against living things”, vegans should eat rocks and other inanimate objects. I had a 2″ thick porterhouse, rare, for dinner. I like to see my food hemorrhage when I cut it. Beats the fuck out of hydrolyzed soy bean scum garnished with weeds.

          • Real Jains apologize for squashing bugs by accident and for eating plants. If they could get away with not eating, Im sure they would.
            But Jain aren’t hipsters.

  17. Not one of those places Brokelyn listed has unlimited mimosas. They’re only unlimited if you are willing to pay $8 each, for a glass of Tropicana with a splash of cheap champagne. Sounds like a headache inducer, not a hangover helper.

    • Shit, I can sell these momos a “real’ Brokelyn brunch: $12 egg sandwiches made with vintage Fink white bread and fauxmosas made with Golden Champale mixed with fi’ty cent orange flavored drink in a plastic cup. This would jack their “street cred” up a couple notches with the losers back home in Flyoverlandia.

      • Golden Champale with Orange Drink in a plastic cup. LMAO, perfect!

        But no, instead, they come here and re-create the fern bars they hang out at when they go home to Suburbialand for their checking account refills.

        • They get taken to Denny’s, Ponderosa Steak House or Big Boy by Mom and Dad and are allowed to order from the “Big Kids’” menu when they do go back and panhandle for more funds.

  18. I really think that the social climate in Brooklyn is just about ready to become so “hip” that it isn’t “hip” anymore. These beardos and cunt-cklesauruses should recognize that “Brooklyn” and all its classic connotations (urban grit, toughness, working-class) is being exploited and the public is saturated with it already.

    Once “hipster paradise” becomes the new normal, maybe these assholes will be on to their next destination. I recommend the Bronx, where you can get arroz con gandules and pasteles for lunch before some Dominican knocks your teeth down your throat.

    • I’d recommend Haiti. Pretty gritty, not too urban tho. But everything’s organic! And LOTS of really cheap loft space in the buildings that are still standing. Maybe we can do an exchange program for the hard working Haitians.

  19. You’re all cheap fucks. Enjoy your $5 townie slop.

  20. Portland suggestions for a REAL brunch – low prices and no insane waits:

    Cafe Alchemy – NE MLK and Dekum. Nice $6.50 scrambles with potatoes and toast. No lines, no hipsters.
    Pattie’s Home Plate – N. Lombard in St. Johns. Decent prices, great food, and a no-nonsense diner/variety store atmosphere. It did serve as a location for Portlandia, but it played the unpretentious diner where Fred and Carrie had breakfast with the mayor.

  21. Somebody please kill me today! Not literally, of course. Today is the one day every year that you see thousands of flyover, lookatme douchbags dressed in Santa attire, drunk off their asses and making complete idiots of themselves. I’m so tempted to start beating these twatwaffles. They started this at 10:00 this morning, if it’s possible for them to wake up that early. I swear, it’s gonna take all I got to not haul off and hit one of ‘em. I live in Manhattan, N.Y.C. born and raised, and I really resent these motherfuckers. Help, D.H.!!

  22. Anybody else see this?

    • Fucking wastes. All of a sudden, rifling through trash cans, to enlarge their wardrobes, isn’t good enough anymore. Goodwill? Sure. The Salvation Army Thrift Shop on Bedford Ave., has been closed for about six months. It’s causing mass panic. The withdrawal pains from not being able to dress fashionably ironic is too much to bear.

    • From “The Young Turds” – figures…

      • “The Young Turks” – The interwebz MOST ANNOYING wannabe newscasters. They actually got into cyber-riff with ol’ Alex J himself about who’s most popular ROFL!! He may be a loon, but at least Alex is entertaining. TYT are just the whiniest, uptalking, nasal mf’s trying to be ‘legit’ newsies. Blurgh….

  23. At least TYT calls them idiots for buying that Urban Outfitter crap, and points out that it’s hipsters who are doing it. They could have referenced the fact that they’re spending their parents’ money and not their own though.

    The funny thing is that they’re a few years late on the story…I’m pretty sure anybody on this site could have told them what those hipster curated vintage clothing stores were up to back in 2010, or earlier.

    • And those TYT clowns aren’t much older (or socially removed from) the hipsters they deride. Have you seen the specimens they send over to RT? Send ‘em to the Gulag, FEDEX. Overnight.

      • I thought most of the hipsters had relocated to TYT University. Didn’t know they were farming people out to RT though, but it’s not surprising.

    • Ah, the entitlement. Insane entitlement and Austin go together like rum and Coke.

    • two things come to mind:
      1. This loser is an erotic photographer because he’s too much of a hipster douche to score chicks on his own. So my guess he takes ugly chicks and Lena Dunham-type prcine princesses as clients so he can get laid.

      2. He’s a trust fund assweed with ADD who changes hobbies and professions every week. Last week it was stop motion snuff films, this week it’s erotic photography. next week it’ll be Free Form Jazzercise performance theater.

    • Isn’t that the type of antics that gets you put on the sex-offender list?

  24. Overpriced, pretentious. Roberta’s: where you can buy a small plate with a couple of grapes and some cheese sprinkled on it for $15 or a couple of toasted slices of bread with olive oil for $18. Also, what’s with these yuppie assholes always trying to use Spanish in their menu items to appear quirky and cultured? They call one of their pizzas: “The El Supremo”, dumb fucks. That’s like saying.”The The Supremo”. Fuck these trust funded, racist, segregating yuppie pieces of shits.

  25. Look going by the type of nonsense pointed out by DH it’s clear thta the way to red ourselves of these cockroaches is to destroy their most prized assets. their egos and wallets.

    You go to their restaurants, galleries and coffeeshops and mock the living shit out of them. Establish yourself as a presence. Put on your tank top, show off your guns and walk into TJ McBeardo’s taverna and Cheese curd emporium with a hot guidette or spanish chick on each arm.
    When they make some sort of snarky comment invite them outside for a connsultation. In short take over their neighborhoods.

    Most important is to come in fleece these losers. I have many cousins in the trades who have built mini-empires by ripping off these losers. They charge fair prices to locals and rip off hipsters and yupsters. This scene from “MoonStruck: is so close to home, the plumber could have been my uncle:

  26. Fuck a bike escort. I’d hand my daughter a .45 and hidey-hide and tell her to blast the first dickles coward that came at her.

    Scumbags are gonna be in for some serious surprises if they continue to think that all women are going to play the distressed victims. There are holsters now that slip into the front of a pair of skinny jeans that can hide a .380. Boom boom, out go the lights! Of course, with Bloomy as president of NYC, whose priorities are marathons during hurricanes and super-sized soda pops, a lot of people probably can’t even get serous ‘Come To Jesus’ defenses.

    There’s something to be said for hanging these losers that prey on women till their dead and leaving the body in the public square, manhood exposed and evicerated, for days. That would tend to be a message the cocksuckers might understand inately.

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