Today I saw Cooper who practically overnight went from 28 year old Minnesotan newspaper delivery boy who eats and drinks Mommy’s Rice Krispy treats and Sunny-D to Bushwick art gallery curator who eats and drinks locally-sourced foie gras crepes and absinthe. So I beat him unconscious with an aged and hardened sopressata from A&S Pork Store and sealed him in an iron maiden. End of story.