Today, I saw Casper and Jasper sitting on their sweet Schwinns drinking $4.00 tea made from repurposed, locally-sourced rainwater; trading tofurkey recipes for tonight’s communal artist’s banquet in a contemporary former sardine can factory in south west Greenpoint. So I took my rock-solid frozen 22lb turkey and beat the shit out of those mother fuckin’ cocksuckers. End of story.