Is this really the age of irony?

This NY Times Opinion article was a really great read and probably one of the best explanations of the hipster psyche I have ever read. I am not nearly as well written as the author of it, although I have my own way of exposing the sickening behaviour of parasitic hipsters. I can just imagine some punchable hipster reading that article in public among other hipsters; laughing it off with his smug bearded face as if it doesn’t perfectly describe his thinking and behaviour. But if that same hipster were reading that at home alone, he would probably break down and cry. The one thing she says – which is true to some degree but mostly not – is that haters of hipsters are probably hipsters themselves. Yes, there is tons of hipster on hipster hate out there; but those are the ones competing together in some delusional art-food-fashion rat race. The fact is, most people are not hipsters – even in Brooklyn believe it or not! Most people are non-attention seeking, working, family-oriented individuals that can’t stand hipsters – whether they show their hate or not. Is irony the ethos of our age? Possibly but probably not – unless you spend all your waking hours in a couple of zip codes in North Brooklyn. Take a stroll through Borough Park; Sheepshead Bay; Gravesend; Bensonhurst; Dyker Heights; Canarsie; East New York; you won’t find a drop of irony there, just a true mix of worldly culture – what Brooklyn has always been about until the nasally, costume-wearing, “look-at-me” brigade showed up from Flyoverlandia. People do what they have to do, not do what they want others to see them doing. There is no competition to see whose eyeglass frames are thicker; to see who is more knowledgeable about coffee and ‘mixology’; to see who can eat more organically, locally and sustainably; to see whose childish art will be in the spotlight this month; there are no pantless subway rides, no marching bands in the streets, no public pillow fights, no rich kids playing the banjo in the street for loose change; – basically we are not suburbanites acting like idiots in an urban setting. Anyway, enjoy the article.

Link: NY TIMES Opinionator – How to live without irony.

117 thoughts on “Is this really the age of irony?

  1. Moving away from the ironic involves saying what you mean, meaning what you say and considering seriousness and forthrightness as expressive possibilities, despite the inherent risks. It means undertaking the cultivation of sincerity, humility and self-effacement, and demoting the frivolous and the kitschy on our collective scale of values. It might also consist of an honest self-inventory.”

    No shit! This is the issue……the hipster takes no responsibility of the day to day struggle that we as NYers confront.
    Life is a game, ironic!

  2. That sure is a lotta mega-super-serious hipster NYT analysis right there, especially in the navel-gazing ocean of comments. There was a ‘New Sincerely Movement’? Really? So glad I missed that one.
    The luxury of mocking these idiots from a distance will be nice one day.

  3. They are transplant pieces of shit. Simple as that.

  4. “People do what they have to do, not do what they want others to see them doing.”

    That right there my friend says it all.

    Also, thanks for bringing back the Matt Gross Poo Pile!

    • Ageed! Sums it right up- I already copied that quote so I’ll paste it again since it bears repeating :

      “People do what they have to do, not do what they want others to see them doing”

      Take note hipsters and other overgrown children everywhere.

    • Shit: I just realized why there’s so much HBH going on in that article. The piece was written by Richard Florida, the douchenozzle who keeps selling “creative class” snake oil to city governments about how encouraging hipster migrations and infestations will somehow turn Oklahoma City and Boise into the next Brooklyn. The last thing this guy wants is for anyone to note that maybe it’s time for the parental-attention-deficient to get real jobs before Mom’s money runs out.

  5. It must be so draining to be an attention-seeking hipster, even if they don’t work. But that’s what happens when you’re raised to think you’re inherently special and you get a blue ribbon just for showing up – you need constant affirmation of your specialness, and everything you say and do is calculated to draw attention to you. That’s the whole point of hipster irony and why they’re incapable of being themselves.

  6. Hey DH you know what the difference is between “Our Brooklyn” and Hipsters? When we were growing up (Im still like this) the last thing you wanted was attention. No matter what we did it was flat out none of your fucking business! Mind your business! For example,Where are you going? Why you asking? Who were you with? None of your business. Where were you? Why! Why are you asking? The big one is “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT”? Dont look at me dont stare at me or IM going to take it as a threat . We knew to mind our business, dont draw attention and dont ask questions. Hipsters are the exact opposite! Its Look at me, look what Im doing, look who Im with (also Via social media) look how Im dressed and blagh blag blagh. I dont even want my friends drawing attention to me.Attention seekers or curious people in “My Brooklyn” usually got delt with fast.

    • ^^^Yes!!! This!! Don’t get me wrong, I too get caught up in the social media aspect of sharing projects that I’ve worked on (I’m a designer, I can’t help it) but it’s more out of promotion so that I can get potential clients to look at my work. However growing up, I was the exact same way. And still am on a personal level… I just can’t see a logical reason for anyone to prance around looking for attention other than to fulfill whatever void they are trying to fill. Normal, hard-working people don’t go around looking for attention. Period.

      • DH your hitting social media for your job, your not checking in from a adult kickball game, adult freeze tag at mid night in the streets, from a dive bar thinking dive bars are such a dive their cool. Your not posting your new cup cake or ww2 battle ship TAT since Americana Tats are so cool now. Your not some hipster dike chick who is so hip your now a suicide chick and FB that you hate getting confused with traditional bull dikes because your a higer class of dike, your a suicide chick…You not making a 15 minute You Tube video of your bee hive on top of your walk up or how to perfect the perfect cup of joe. I never saw DH taking a kyack out on the Gowounus canal.

    • Hear, hear. I’m from Seattle, but I was raised the same way – be modest and don’t call attention to yourself; say what you mean and mean what you say, and if you don’t have anything useful to say, then keep your mouth shut.

      When I’m out on the street, I don’t want attention or to be noticed. I’ll still say hi to people I know, but I generally just want to be left alone and extend the same courtesy to others.

      • This doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but something you said made me think of it.

        In America, Mothers teach their children,”If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

        In Japan, Mothers teach their children,”If you don’t have anything nice to say, you’re not trying hard enough.”

        • I’m familiar with that, and I wasn’t told that directly, but it more or less sums up how I was raised.

          For hipsters, it’s more like, “If you don’t have anything to say, say something zany in a nasally voice so people will look at you and see how, like, totally kewl you are.”

    • Word! To this day, sometimes I pass my peoples on the street and don’t see them because I ignore everybody. Can’t tell you how many times I yell “what the fuck you looking at” in Wburg because some transplant punk bitch is STARING at me walking my pit. They don’t know that in NYC you catch a beat down quick for that. I almost piss my pants because they look petro and put their heads down dumb fast. That’s right bitches, Look down like the cowards you are. Recognize real natives.

  7. “People do what they have to do, not do what they want others to see them doing.” <— This pretty much sums it up. Such a simple line but it holds so much truth.

  8. This is the article I referenced on Sunday, and I think she offers great insight into the psyche of the hipster assholes (redundant). Do I agree with her assertion that we hate them because in them we see ourselves? Not quite.

    Yes, many of us (non-hipsters) may be ironic to some extent, but I dislke these hipsters because their irony doesn’t produce anything of value: not art, not comedy (as in laughing with them; at them doesn’t count). They are not smart or charming in any way.

    • That’s an excellent point. Irony, used correctly, is a great comedic tool. Sarah Silverman, Steven Colbert, Monty Python and South Park provide just a few good examples of proper use of irony and are hilarious as a result. Irony used by hipsters is just a cover for their lack of cultural or personal substance.

      It’s just one of those things, like homebrewing and graffiti, that they’ve managed to colonize and spoil.

    • Excellent point.
      I recall being on a subway and a group of 11th graders were performing parts of A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream to promote Shakespeare in highschools. They did a great job and people were applauding and congratulating them.

      Then, I thought about this site and the absolute waste-of-space neckbeards and their ankle water-retaining girlfriends who get on the subway with no pants. Nothing sums up the value of hipsters than that annual display. Or the awful bands and pole dancers that antagonize people while they’re trying to get to work.

      Between that and the Toronto shit-birds who play cops & robbers versions of The Wire for media attention and grotesque idiots having paintball fights in Brooklyn and filming music videos during Sandy – it’s just revolting.

      Do everyone a favor, go the nearest pier, grab a tire from a transport truck, stick your fishing pole neck through it and launch your chain-smoking, hungover, earlobe stretched, plaid wastrel selves into the deepest parts of Lake Ontario or the Gowanus Canal. Thanks.

      • Fucking hilarious!

        They’re polluting Toronto, too? Fucking shame. It’s a great city, as is New York.

        • Same as London, Berlin, Hamburg and i’ve noticed first infestation symptoms in the Ruhrpott (Ruhrgebiet) area and Munich. *sigh*

    • I hate Hipsters because they are Racists but to stupid and Liberal to know their Racist. Also I hate them because they think they introduced diversity and “COOL” to Brooklyn. Brooklyn was always diverse, interesting, cool, muliti cultural and artistic.

  9. Good effort on the op ed piece- I like how it reads like ‘confessions of a recovering hipster’ in parts. She does have some great strategies she’s discovered for contemplating how to GROW THE FUCK UP. As a follow up to this treatise she should start a recovering hipsters group at Princeton, and maybe reach out to Brooklyn hipsturds-

    “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program”

    LOL ! keep coming, it works if you work it

    • No. Thank. You.

      If there’s one thing Princeton doesn’t need, it’s more hipsters. You’re talking about a town that has 3 microbreweries, 27 organic restaurants, and at least two ice cream places where the cheapest items on the menu are $5. It’s also got one of the most well-known independent record stores in the country (complete with insufferable staff).

      She really does nail the traits of the hipster quite well — if she lives in or around Princeton, she’s talking from experience.

  10. Irony is seeing this piece in the hipster-ass-kissing NYT.

    • Verily, verily…

      I don’t trust shit they put out. Ever. The article itself is for attention. There’s no profound insights or analysis in it. The stuff they generate anymore is as sophmoric as this expressed opinion is.

      Given their hipster propensities now, why in the world would I assume ANYTHING other than that they are being ironic just in putting it out there?

  11. Interesting counterpoints here. From the article: “The hipster is a scholar of social forms, a student of cool. He studies relentlessly, foraging for what has yet to be found by the mainstream. He is a walking citation…” From her Bio: “…assistant professor of French …Her research focuses primarily on 20th- and 21st-century French and Italian literature and thought.” Translation: She reads the overseas papers untranslated.

    I agree with the OP – looks to me like she’s one of the hipster “Intelligentsia” she tries to put down. Ironically recovering, of course…

  12. Hipsters. Fuck ‘em, I hate ‘em.

    also, enough already with the “generation this or tht” bullshit, it’s as fucking lazy as it is meaningless.

    • yeah the ‘generation’ shit gets old fast. there are hipsters of pretty much every age from 20 to 40 — all of them are equally annoying.

      not all 20-somethings are do-nothing wastrels. for every 20-year-old beanpole hipster fuck, there’s a kid the same age studying engineering or nursing, who will actually make a difference and contribute to society. but the engineering or nursing student doesn’t have the time or inclination to make a spectacle of themselves on a regular basis, so you don’t notice them, and they stay out of the way.

  13. Hipsters are funny. Everything they do revolves around feeding their egos and fufilling a need to feel “better” than people. They’re all about attracting attention to themselves. Personally, in my dady to day life, I don’t want to attract attention to myself…PERIOD. I just want to be left alone. I mind my own business as others should mind their own.

    I think about all of these blogs and websites that are flooded with commentary of the like and it’s just funny. They all feel like they are some sort of relevant cultural critic and their commentary is worthwhile. In the information age, ANYONE can make a comment on something, nothing, and everything so I just really don’t understand why they feel they are SO important enough to think their commentary matters more than others.

    I was just thinking about it yesterday with the Brokelyn post. ALL of the comments from people who were obviously offended by that post had a link to their twitter or webpage in their handle. Whereas everyone else is posting anonymously. WHY? Because the former just HAD to draw attention to themselves by any means! I could give a flying fuck about your blog, your twitter, or that your a freelance contributor for some magazine. There’s a reason why people post anonymously online. It’s obviously those people that were so offended by that post had to draw attention to themselves.

  14. “… She reads the overseas papers untranslated…”

    LMFAO!!!!!

  15. As interesting as this article is and as well written as it is…I really hear the musings of a smug hipster cultural elitist ironically putting down other smug hipster cultural elitsts.

    They’ve ruined journalism for me. :(

  16. “MY BROOKLYN APARTMENT”

    “LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

    • That VOICE! So annoying. Why do grown women insist on talking like yowly little girls?

      • You’ve touched on a serious subject without realizing it LOL Why they do it? Blurgh….I hate it too, always have. Especially when grown women start singing like 5 year olds. It’s so damned gross. But it probably has something to do with the unconscious knowledge that many, many men ‘hate on’ mature women in society. I think it’s the same reason you have these hipster males in their 30′s that try to talk and use euphemisms that teenage boys do. They both think it makes them appear younger.

        Me, I’m perfectly fine with a woman BEING a woman. I don’t need her to look or sound like a child and, in fact, it would creep the F out LOL It always has, it always will.

        GROW UP YA DINGBATS!!

    • Ooh that’s bad. So fucking self involved. “And here’s two windows.”

      • “LIKE YAH THE GUY WHO NORMALLY LIVES UPSTAIRS APPARENTLY LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, DIED”

        The dumb bitch is too self involved to even know if her upstairs neighbor is actually dead or apparently dead.

        Stupid bitch.

        All these self made videos they make of themselves speak volumes.

        • “The dumb bitch is too self involved to even know if her upstairs neighbor is actually dead or apparently dead.”

          LMAO

    • I got about 15 seconds in to this and had to stop. Couldn’t stand the voice! I thought I earned a Klondike Bar for the time I put in.

    • I wonder what she would think if some pervy creep from her neighborhood recognizes where she lives by this video and starts showing up at her place or something.

      • I forgot to add, don’t be too sure of the ACTUAL vunerability of chicks like this. Many of them carry handguns. The ability to do so with very good concealment is ever at the ready. Just sayin’…

        • Well these gentrifying pieces of shit get their asses robbed and beaten senseless in DC on a daily basis and so far not a single one of them has ever fought back or pulled out a handgun of their own to defend themselves. Just sayin’…

          • Neckbeard arms have the structural integrity of Silly String, which precludes them from even lifting a handgun. They resort to wildly flailing their muscleless fiber optic wire-like arms in the hope that the robber would break out in a hysterical fit long enough for them to attempt to escape. Since they usually manage to run only a few steps before being grabbed, they fall back on the tried and true backup plan……..screaming “PLEEEEEEEEASE! DON’T HIT ME IN THE FACE!!!!” as they proceed to get beaten to the consistency of organic hummus dip.

        • *LOL*

    • who fucking cares where you live? Who cares what your Apt looks like! Fucking Dweeb!!!

  17. GAH hipsters and their freaking “creative” garbage… ART ART ART… guess what? You aren’t good at it. Get a real job.
    “This is the global account of CreativeMornings, a free monthly breakfast lecture series for creative types. New Yorkers, please now follow @NewYork_CM!”

    http://www.creativemornings.com/

  18. “I’M LIVING IN DC BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH…”

    • Hell is being alone in a room watching this tape on a loop.

    • sweet wife beater to bad it on this fucking geek! You did day field trips in DC, OMG so interesting. You went on trips that 6th graders go on but you seem to want to upload a video about your day. Dick

      • Yeah, and there’s always something to do. Like getting mugged on my street, getting mugged on the Mall, getting mugged on the Metro, getting mugged in Union Station… (rinse and repeat). He lives around Union Station, which can be a $$$$ neighborhood. His lilly white ass just screams “PREY.” And he’s part of an “Internship Center” – WTF???? Just STFU, Mr. Loser…

    • Just as the “Brunt Holster” and the “Custom Handmade Jeans” this crap totally looks like its made in fucking primary school sewing lessons. No wonder they need kickstarter cause no bank clerk would consider their business plans worth more than a dime.

  19. “MY WASHINGTON DC APARTMENT”

    “LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, YAH!”

    • She is so quirky and unique. She started the video sideways.

      • And the whole thing with videoing your apartment. Nobody has ever done that.

        • This kind of gets to what someone else was already saying about minding your business. The thing about these apartment videos I just don’t get is that almost everyone I know trys at least a little bit to keep people from seeing what they have inside their houses. Some people go to extremes to make sure no on they don’t know ever sees what’s inside thier homes.
          It’s the difference between people with common sense and people without.
          There are a lot of bad people out there who will take anything they think they can make a buck on. Rule number one is don’t let them know what you have.

          If I were a thief I’d be making a really good living in the age of YouTube and Facebook. That’s all I know.

    • These “My New Apartment” videos are so fucking BORING. Every last one of them.
      “Here is my toaster and my coffee maker…..” Wow, you’re kidding, you really have a toaster AND a coffee maker? She must really be special.

      • Perhaps she could produce a video of the Romani family

        http://hungeree.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/reuters_france_roma_09Aug12-975×649.jpg

        who squatted in her apartment while she was out drinking late and they call the cops to say she tried to break in when she stumbles back two days later.

        Toaster – two forks to hold a slice of bread and a cigarette lighter to actually toast it.

        Coffee maker – a bonsai version of a coffee shrub. This beaver toothed exhibitionist decided to go all in on growing her own. She harvests the mouse pellet sized berries, then feeds them to her pet French bulldog, hoping to create her own version of “civet poop” coffee. If that fails, she’ll mix the berries in her anatomy class skeleton looking boyfriend Godfroi’s non-GMO corn husk bran cereal.

    • I’m waiting for the meatlof resembling a giant Hostess cupcake – only isntead of creme it’s stuffed with locally sourced, curated mashed potatoes.

      Slightly off topic – my wife and I had to attend a big deal charity dinner last week for her employer – a non profit organization.

      The crowd ranged in age from late 20′s to 70′s. Everyone was there in dark suits and cocktail dresses or tuxes.

      One guy – an associate of my wife – walks up to introduce his date.

      The girl – somewhat attractive – was dressed in a green, embroidered angora sweater, poodle skirt and red heels…and sporting rhinestone eye glass frames ..and a red Lucille Ball style red wig.

      We exchanged pleasantries. The girl clearly was looking for us to say something. We didn’t.

      I’m guessing that the poor slob had been dating her for a couple of weeks in an informal setting – hipster clubs and bars where her attire was completely acceptable.

      But for crissakes, how dense can you be to think that dressing like Laverne and Shirley on their way to Dead Lazlo’s is accpetable attire for a formal dinner?

      I mean I dated a nurse once. Many times I would stop over and she’d be in her scrubs. But she never wore them when we went out.

      • It is like it is a hipster’s JOB to be that way. And their whole identity is their ‘look.’

        • You couldn’t be more precise. Their “job” is their “look.” Touche. That’s why they need to record their every move. All self-indulgent.

          But the French Professor says that they are us and that when we ridicule them, we ridicule ourselves.

  20. So I was laid off November 2nd. In an effort to supplement my unemployment while job hunting I go to a UPS interview for a seasonal driver/helper.

    As expected, UPS times everything down to the minute. The HR person marches us into a conference room and proceeds to explain the job in a concise, rapid fire manner.

    So everyone is there with a notebook and pen, writing stuff down and listening to the HR rep.

    Except Everett, the whimsical, 20 something, bearded douchebag wearing a scarf, purple skinny jeans, an “Elmo” t-shirt, oversized ski-cap and John Boy Walton depression era shoes.

    This twatwaffle spends the entire time texting. Clearly the HR person is annoyed – but hey..she’s on a schedule.

    So The Dorothea Lang poster boy keeps chuckling to himself while fucking around with his i-phone – paying no attention whatsoever to what’s being coveredL: protocol, uniforms, hours, etc.

    Then the HR person says, “The main requirement for this job is that you must be able to lift and carry 35-70 lbs”.

    Suddenly Ironic Man looks up and says, “35- 70lbs? Yah..no way. I’m outa here”.

    • Twenty years ago, I worked with a woman who was a catalog model. That is, when you’d pick up the JCPenney catalog for, say, hospital uniforms, she was one of the four models used through the catalog. She admitted that while it sounded incredibly glamorous, not only was it a hell of a lot of work, but the main catalog season only goes for about three months per year. The rest of the time, she worked other jobs, including the one where I met her, on a contract basis arranged around her shooting schedule. The whole year, as a second job, she worked for UPS at nights. She knew that the modeling gig wasn’t going to last forever, so she was saving up every penny she could to go to school in her mid-twenties when that ended, and UPS paid very well for night shift work. As she put it, “I could pay money to a gym to lift 70 pounds all day, or I could get a job at UPS and they pay me.”

    • That sucks — sorry to hear you got laid off. Hope you get hired again soon, and at your current/higher salary (and hopefully in a hipster-free environment, unless of course you need a good laugh during the work day).
      That douchebag seems too ridiculous to be true — but then, I don’t put anything past these jackasses. DId he really leave when the HR person said he had to do some lifting? Holy shit, what did he think he was gonna be doing!?!?
      Good luck on the job hunt!

  21. Excellent article…so good in fact, that the author may have outed herself as a former Hipster!

    (The takes one to know one theory)

  22. I’m amazed that Northside Nedlington hasn’t rung in yet. He’s held forth on irony in the past, of course he gets it wrong but at least he’s trying (and amusing us no end, how ironic)

    • I suspect that he’s being held for observation to make sure that he’s taking his meds. That’s Stevie’s MO: he’ll disappear for a month or so, presumably because the nurses take away his Web connection, and then he’ll be right back, spewing bullshit as soon as the Thorazine wears off.

    • I must admit…it’s funny that Ned’s only real insult is calling people “townies”.

      Seriously, who calls native New Yorkers “townies”? I heard the term “townie” when I went to college in a small town by the college kids from big cities. Last time I checked, New York City is not a town.

      • Wait….. could he be using it ironically?

      • I was asking the same question yesterday…New York is home to some fine universities, but if they all vanished tomorrow there’d still be a city of 7 million+ standing strong around the empty spots in the landscape. And it’s not as if Brooklyn & Manhattan are full of slack-jawed yokels who never heard of no fancy book learnin’. You could barely swing a dead hipster on the street in NYC without smacking either someone with an advanced degree, a business owner or a blue collar professional who has to stay current on technical knowledge & training.

        I guess it’s a byproduct of believing Brooklyn is full of ignorant neanderthals who need enlightenment brought to them by the Midwest Macrame Art Collective.

        • I suspect it’s projection. After all, he got his BA in Useless Studies specifically to prove that he was better than everyone else back in Dogfelcher Falls, and so to him, anybody who doesn’t appreciate his genius is a “townie”. Either that, or he watched “Breaking Away” too many times.

        • The slack jawed yokels that I know, ALL went to university. One completed his EE degree in three years, which is quite something if you have even a basic understanding of Math.

          Would you know this if you met them? Hell no. You’d think they were the rednecks THEY know they are. But trying to show others up about what they’ve done? Nope. No way. Bragging is reserved fot what parents or grand kids have achieved, not themselves.

          • Bragging that they got rid of Zacc or Moronica, by paying them to move 2000 miles away, is what parents in Cul de Sac, Iowa do.

          • “One completed his EE degree in three years, which is quite something if you have even a basic understanding of Math.”

            That’s badass.

            Stuff like this always makes me think of Richard Feynman. One of the most lauded and respected physicists of all time, but you’d never know it from outward appearances. Born and raised in Queens, with the accent to prove it. He was called the ‘Great Explainer’ because he could explain physics to anybody in plain English without talking down to them or putting on airs.

      • Ten million fuckin people–and that on the Sunday morning during Memorial Day weekend. Where is that asshole from that he considers NYC a town? Mexico City?

        • haha, I appropriated the term ‘townie’ from this very site’s farkakte FAQ section mostly to get a rise out of you freaks. Looks like it worked. Whats the matter, does it hurts your feelings when someone makes sweeping generalizations about you via the cover of a slanderous umbrella classification?

          Now that’s irony.

          • No, what’s ironic is the fact that you call out DH for remaining anonymous while you are doing the same. Show some balls and come talk to me under the handle you used when I hoisted you with your own petard.(Google it). Really, Nedly, your cowardice has reached extreme proportions vis a vis the Kaiser Soze incident. Come talk to me about it, don’t send Gary or hatehipster or any of your poorly crafted sock puppets. Get your “wife” to sew them back on and come to me. I hunger.

          • And that’s weak.

          • “Now that’s irony.” No that’s insanity. By one widely-circulated definition: Endlessly repeating an action that fails, expecting a different result. Dope…

          • Read a book, Needy, if it’s written it’s libelous, not slanderous. Three colleges didn’t touch your ignorance at all. Your Daddy must be pissed about the wasted tuition.

  23. People.

    1) There is a farmer’s market in both Bay Ridge and Bensonhurst.

    2) I just saw a couple on 20th Ave, walking towards 86th Street.

    a) guy: skinny jeans, blazer, converse sneakers, beard, those glasses…

    b) gal: cankle girl with the Harry Potter look.

    3) Cropsey Ave / Bay Parkway multiple > 40 men on electric powered scooters.

    What are we going to do about all this?

  24. Is this really the age of irony?

    Like, yah!

  25. I’m waiting for them to start growing Art is Anal basmati rice on the rooftop fertilized with locally sourced human fertilizer.

  26. Guys,

    Can we just quit hating for a little while. What we all need is a little love. Remember the multi-non-talented Erika Christensen?

    http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/this_is_where_you_get_off_jMHP7A9R26iv7zQ47QvShI

    Well, I tried looking for her on youtube and on google and found nothing. Instead I found the beautiful Amy Van Doran (aka George Burns’ corpse reincarnated with a wig stuck on). She gives art and dating events at Club Oracle in Billyworld. Enjoy the beautiful evening with the coolest and most hip people New York City has to offer (or ever had to offer since NYC was nothing but a Deliverance style hick town before now).

    http://amyvandoran.com/

    • HUH? Another waste of bandwidth. 0:46 was all I could take. FLEE!

    • Well, if Williamsburg wasn’t a Deliverance style hick town before the Midwestern Construction Paper Arts And Crafts Society Meetup Group got here, it sure looks like it is now.

  27. Ft Lauderdale/Miami is the shit. No pussy hipsters here. No pussy hipsters will move here cause they cringe if they hear the word Florida. I am serious, lived in Boston, Williamsburg and Lower East Side. This is the place to be and the weather is awesome!

    • Until a hurricane blows you to Cuba. And don’t forget the palmetto bugs. And mosquitos big enough to need tail numbers. The reason you don’t see hipsters there is that the mosquitos pick them up and fly them over to the rats to eat.

  28. Possible hipster beating in McCarren Park…
    A quartet of ne’er-do-wells attacked a man in McGolrick Park and stole his bike on Nov. 17 while preaching Polish pride.
    The 18-year-old victim told police he was sitting on a bench in the park at 11 pm when a guy kicked him in the face. Then, three ruffians started punching and kicking him while yelling, “You don’t mess with Polish people.”
    One of them stole the victim’s bike and the other three ran away, he told police.

    Ne’er-do-wells….heh heh

    • It would’ve been more Polish had they punched themselves in the face and handed over their money ;o)

    • McGolrick (aka Winthrop) Park is not the same as McCarren. McGolrick is another large park seven blocks east on Russell and Driggs. But, it’s the hipster beating that counts. Now, Agnostecles the human punching bag will go to the bike shop on the corner of Driggs and Eckford, call Mommy and Daddy to pay $600 for another vintage Ross Girls’ Sprinter and get that robbed at McCarren by one of the three guys who took off empty handed. Welcome to Greenpoint, kurwa. ;)

      @PBR=Urine, Take it from a Polack; you don’t want to get into a confrontation with some of these guys. A lot of them are recent immigrants with a long association with organized crime in Poland. They will kill you for five bucks.

  29. Wanna know why Ethan, Caleb, Hayden, and Hummus are a bunch of pansy-assed, effeminate, emasculated fucks? BECAUSE OF ALL THAT SOY SHIT THEY EAT.

    Consumption of soy products is a trigger for excessive rise of estrogen levels in males.

    Keep drinking those soy lattes you disaffected pieces of shit!

  30. The mass holiday exodus of nasally honking bearded sticks is well underway; Calebs, Megans, Parkers, and Zooeys galore flocking to JFK and LaGuardia, for the flight back home. Gonna be a pleasure the next few days to see the city flash back a bit to the pre hipster days where you could ride the train, go for a beer with some friends, or just walk around the block without seeking some cul-de-zack beta male smugly holding a $5 coffee while kazooing about the vintage hand cranked record player he just bought with his gentrification allowance.

    My hope is that a bunch of them get rejected in their Thanksgiving table pleas for additional funding to hang around in a city where they don’t belong & play creative type all day.

    Maybe as enabling mommy who rewarded every full diaper as a brilliant creation begins to yet again reach for her checkbook, grandpa (who worked for every dollar he ever earned) will stop her, turn to little 34 year old baby Harper, and say;

    Grandpa: “grandson, remember 2 years ago when you begged your mother at this very table to pay for your move to Brooklyn? When you promised that you would accomplish (insert 4 or 5 promises) or you’d come back to the suburbs of Des Moines without argument? Well, I took the liberty that night of writing down every promise you made that day…shall I start reading?

    Harper: “well, like yah,..uhh, you KNOW we had a huge hurricane – that set back all my plans”

    Grandpa: “that was 2 weeks ago – what about the 2 years prior to this October 29th?”

    Harper: “Why are you being so mean to me? Like, I was working on developing a business. Door to door cupcake sales. And a rooftop lemonade stand”

    Grandpa: (laughing): “boy, that’s not a business, that’s an invitation to a daily beating. Now what would a working class person want with an $8 cupcake?”

    Harper: (rolls eyes) “Like yah – I live in Williamsburg – hello!; it’s harrrrrdly working class. In fact, I don’t even know anyone with a job”

    Grandpa: ‘Sounds like a bunch of lazy bastards wasting oxygen while wasting good rent money.”

    Harper: “Well, they are all enlightened and creative – I was going to bring all of them into my new business. But I was robbed of the startup money. By a terrible man with one of those hideous New York accents”

    Grandpa (looking extremely skeptical): “You got jacked when you went to Brownsville to look for a coke dealer, didn’t you?”

    Harper: “What! How the hell did you kno….I mean, that’s ridiculous”

    Grandpa: “When you were high, you mistakenly emailed me a link to your Facebook where you were whining about it happening the last time you went to ‘score’”

    Harper: “Hey, mahhhhhnnnn – like you have like no right to invade my privacy like that! Mommy!!!”

    Mommy: “Poor Harper, my baby – what will it take to make you smile again?”

    Harper: “Well, (sniffle). like yah, a check for $40,000 so I can have to peace to create my art without financial pressure would help….I guess (sniffle)”

    Mommy: “I’m getting my checkbook right now. Poor baby! I can see you need to be in Brooklyn”

    Harper: “Mother……i AM Brooklyn”

    Grandpa: “That’s it!!!! You are getting no check you snarky little fuck! That is my money anyway; I support both of you. I know you’re my daughter but I’ve had enough – If I get any angrier, I will throw you out of my house and sell it. Harper, listen very carefully – You will NEVER see Brooklyn again. Now go to your room – we have a busy day ahead of us. Tomorrow I am dragging you to every business in town where you will BEG for a job. And you will start by shaving that ridiculous red pubic beard.”

    Harper: “FUCK YOU – I AM BROOKLYN YOU FUCKING OLD FUCK – WE’RE REDEFINING THE URBAN EXPERIENCE!! MOMMMYYYYY!”

    Mommy: “Please dad, not the house! Harper, I think you better go to your room”

    Grandpa: “Oh, Harper – I forgot to tell you. There’s no wifi here. But I have a computer I keep locked up when I’m not home, and tonight I will update your facebook page so the people in Brooklyn will see it. Status = back in the midwest where I belong. The big city is too much for me. I’m a child of the corn”

    Harper: “Like yah, you don’t even know my password”

    Grandpa: “Well you are wearing a Pabst Blue Ribbon t-shirt, a Pabst Blue Ribbon hat, and have a cupcake tattoo with ‘PBR’ in the center. I’m gonna try PBR.”

    Harper: “nooo – they will all see it!!!. (crying for 20 mintues…)
    at least my life can’t get any worse…”

    Grandpa: “Oh, and one more thing. I rented half your room out, so you have to bunk with the tenant. In fact. you might know him – he travels through the country for his work, and says he spends a lot of time in North Brooklyn. Calls himself the ‘hipster beater’, whatever the hell that means.”

    Harper: “Oh nooooo, not again…”

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