Today, while I was flossing Colby’s teeth with barbed wire for exploring Coney Island with his Polaroid camera, I saw Cameron the crusty, down on his luck, smelly-dreadlocked, pseudo freight train hobo sitting there with his malnourished pitbull and $3500 worth of tattoos asking for a few bucks to get home. So I dipped a stray cat in Peter Luger’s sauce; taped it to Cameron’s back and let the dog do today’s hipster beating. End of story.