Skinny Quinn’s Island

 
Just sit right back; eat some roof top kale
Kale grown by the hayseed Quinn
He dresses weird for attention
And rides a rusty Schwinn.

His mate was shaped like a rubber band
Works part-time in a record store.
Two hipster fucks set sail that day
On a Gowanus Canal tour, a Gowanus Canal tour.

The “cool nabe” started getting rough,
Josh and Quinn were tossed,
If not for the courage of the policeman crew
Their iPads would be lost, their iPads would be lost.

The Schwinn was chained to a store in uncharted Coney Isle
With Skinny Quinn
His trusty kazoo,
The millionaire; A.D.D child and wife,
The performance artist
The Mixologist and Cankle Ann,
Here on Skinny Quinn’s Isle.

So this is the tale of our stowaways
They’re here for a short, short time,
They’ll have to make the best of things,
While living on Daddy’s dime.

Midwest Moms and Midwest Daddys too,
Will do their very best,
To make their artists comfortable,
On their New Brooklyn quests.

No arms, no necks, just skin and bones
Not one male quality,
Winter hats in the summer time,
Beards full of lice and fleas

So join Quinn in New Brooklyn, friends
Be sure you’re a privileged child
It’s seven grand for a studio
Here on Skinny Quinn’s Isle

24 thoughts on “Skinny Quinn’s Island

  1. Classic. Great way to start the day!

  2. Hysterical.

  3. Loved it. Laughed out loud a number of times, but that “Not one male quality” got me the most for some reason. Thanks for starting my day off with a smile.

  4. LOVE IT!! So fucking sick of wburg that the one and only reason we just moved out is we couldn’t take the hipster posers and I especially couldn’t take the selling out of owners who sold their buildings (who never would have in the past) to the big bucks – tearing down typical two family homes that had been passed down geverstion after geverstion – think graham stop on L, for hideous high rent development.

  5. You’re a funny motherfucker!

  6. That was fantastic!!!

  7. Thanks! I needed the laugh!

  8. Yes! Props, DH. TV themes, being formulaic, are ripe for turning into parodies. C’mon folks give it a try!

  9. Gilligan. Beatnik first, stranded cabin boy next, then busted pot smoker.

    Yep. Makes total sense. What the hipsters lack is a Captain to smack their empty little heads around.

  10. Hahaha

  11. reading thru teary eyes. Awesome.

  12. Look at these hipsters helping out Sandy victims!
    https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/772950

    Wait, hipsters helping displaced people like DH’s grandmother in Brighton Beach? I don’t understand it.

  13. DH is half-way there to a parody album.

  14. My band is going to cover this. Keep ‘em coming.

  15. bahahhahahahahahahhahahhahaaa. that was worth coming home early tonight to….oh man how i love you! you make me laugh every time. maybe i shouldn’t have moved out west to find a boyfriend….should’ve went to south bk. oh well….

  16. lol

  17. Fucking awesome!

  18. If Weird Al could make a living from the shit he wrote in the 80s, you can absolutely earn some cash from these parody songs. Every one of them keeps getting better. I’m sitting in a doctor’s office as I’m reading this & just busted out laughing hysterically.

    Get some investors & put out a record.

  19. Ginger was hot. Meghan is not.

  20. Blessed comic relief, thanks DH!

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