Google to Hipsters: The Playground is Open

Unbelievable! Check out this ad by Google for their new tablet that targets numb and dumb hipster kidults. Google truly understands how under-developed these children (but actually adults) of the corn are. These are FUCKING ADULTS not children they are marketing to. This ad hits it all: gadgets (bought by parents of course); poorly made art; playing during working hours; roof tops; staring at colors and shapes like a retard; token black person; granny dresses/smocks. It end with the caption: The Playground is Open. The depressing thing is that this kind of shit really goes on all the time in North Brooklyn; this video does not look ridiculous or far-fetched to the average gentrifying transplanted hipster piece of shit.  Wow, just wow – what the fuck has happened to our society. Check out this video.

Oh, and as a bonus – in honor of election day - I’m going to post a couple of videos below the ad from 4 years ago when hipster fucks were pouring into the streets woo-hooing, playing their band camp instruments and cheering like a bunch of far-left zombies for Obama as if they really care about politics. LOOOOK AT MEEEEEE!


79 thoughts on “Google to Hipsters: The Playground is Open

    • Beat me to it. Front page article about adults riding big wheels. This isn’t The Onion, this is the WSJ. Fuck me.

    • Wonderful. Another way to vacuum up dad’s hipster fund. Probably manufactured in the Orient. Specifically aimed at the developmentally mangled with more money than sense and absolutely no sense of balance. Coming to a jogging trail near you soon…

      • Yes, they are made in Taiwan by “contract labor”.(if anyone doesn’t know what that means, contract labor= sweat shop in Asia. The Taiwanese are notorious for being the very worst sweat shop owners)
        I wonder if the hipsters that pretend to care about this stuff will even notice?

      • Seeing the daily hipster spectacle-phenomena you truly see the gap of rich and poor and how wide it truly is. I guess these hipster things get first billing in the papers because in reality unemployment is through the roof. Anybody gone to a supermarket, like shop-rite or some shit like that? The price for food is outrageous and it seems every week it goes up. Same for gasoline. Incredible ey. Of course all these ads are targeted at the flourishing leisure class. Fuck these bitches already.

        • It doesnt matter to them, they aren’t buying there own groceries, and anyone who is buying their own obviously doesn’t belong in the cult. My new neighbor asked me if there is a grocery store around, there is one right down the block I pointed towards, then she corrected herself “Is there an ORGANIC supermarket around here?” I smiled and laughed “who can afford that!?” She just looked at me dead-pan, serious, like I’m a freak for worrying about the price of food (I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to not pay your own way. To look at a fucking $6 tomato and put in your cart, I could never ask my parents to do that. “I know you were helping me on the payments for my c-spine surgery, could you send me some extra cash so I can spent $200 on a single bag of groceries? You’ve only been working your entire life, thanks…” ) She pretty much decided our conversation was over at that point. I was happy about that decision, I slipped back into my apartment and continued my non-hip lifestyle and ate a poptart in protest.

    • They guy left a job at an aerospace company and got kickstarter money to make big boy hot wheels? He is either e genius, hipster fleeced, or an idiot. I am not sure which.

      I don’t care- if you ride one of these, you are a total douche bag, kidadult, loser.

      • Notice that everyone quoted in that article as wanting one is in their late thirties or their forties. Sounds about right: just about every ART ART ART game of this sort has some fortysomething yammering about how “I just want to have FUN!”

    • It won’t help relieve anyones pain, but recessive adults have been doing crap like this in San Francisco for ages well into their fifties. Hippie hangovers persist.

  1. I wish all the hispter painful anal rape. And a slow death.

    • Hahhaa! I’ve been thinking the same thing lately. I watched a pretty decent documentary on this, and I couldn’t stop thinking “HIPSTERS!” I have a link if anyone’s interested. Count how many of the nine basic traits of narcissism they exhibit!

      • I was referring to hipster-haters having NPD. They’re the ones with the hate sites, after all.

        • NPD is not a general term for people you don’t like. It’s a specific disorder characterized by malignant self-love.

          For more information, see Facebook and/or Twitter. That’s like a narcissist’s wet dream.

    • Everything I’ve heard about NPD is that, like borderline personalities, they tend not to be treated by psychotherapy at all because they don’t seek it out. The BPD individual comes across it in prison or a sanitarium situation as they act out in extremely anti-social ways, but the NPD is so deeply manipulative of the world around them that they don’t stray towards crime because it runs counter to their deftly consturcted self-image. They don’t need help, YOU do – that is their mentality. I’ve a friend who’s a psychologist and he stated that he and other professionals in his field are more likely to win the lottery than ever see a patient who has a true case of NPD. So, if you or anyone you know has ever voluntarily sought out mental health help, the odds that you are an NPD are extraordinarily low.

      Now, what’s the odds your average hipster will admit they’ve got a problem? LOL

  2. Well big difference from 4 years ago when my neighborhood was basically Obama County; the ground zero for Shepard Fairey and his much-appropriated hope ‘n change icon and Obama street art everywhere.
    I was out with my dogs these last couple of days looking for political stuff to photograph and there is literally nothing. Just as you’d never know there was a disastrous hurricane that affected our city, you’d also never know there was a huge election coming in 48 hours. No posters, no soaring Obama murals and street art now. No Obama this, no Obama that. A big fat zero. Hipsters don’t care about politics. If you corned one and asked them what Obama’s proposed policies are for this next term, they wouldn’t be able to tell you. They care about whatever makes them cool/relevant. So if their guy loses tonight it’s going to look a lot like this:

    • With them it doesn’t matter who the candidate is…this time around there was no kewl gritty street art for either candidate….and anyway hipsters are doing just fine in this economy thanks to mom and dad. They’ve got plenty of money for their brand new iProducts, gentrified rent, unlimited free time to prance around in overpriced vintage clothes, pretending to work at unpaid internships etc., etc. They’ve figured out that they’ll be fine no matter who wins the election, so no worries for them

    • i’ll bet the guy that posted this video (which has since been removed) is devastated that Obama won….haha

  3. Is it any surprise that under Obamacare these oxygen wasters get to stay on Mommy and Daddy’s health insurance UNTIL AGE 26???

    • Well, yah. How can I pursue my, like, artistic endeavors and stuff if I had to, like ummmm, get, like, a job to pay for insurance? That’s soooooo, like, 1989. You riiiiiiiiilly have like no idea how hard it is to live within a tight budget, okay? I mean, like, I can stretch the $4K my parents send me every month just so far?

  4. Not to get all political and all…well OK I will. If Obama – raised by a young, single mom along with WWII-era grandparents, dad who left, went to Columbia and was the editor of the Harvard Law Review, became a US Senator & President, etc. – was a Republican, Fox News would be jizzing all over the screen about his “up from the bootstraps, uniquely ‘Merican story” Instead we get a try-hard, C student dunce in Dubya Bush who ruined both our country and some half-way around the globe and another son of privilege in Mitt Romney who pays half as much in taxes as the average Joe. If you hate try-hard, trust funders, you know who to vote for.

    • I’m voting for whoever promises to round up all the hipsters, put them in concentrations camps and anally rape them. Yes, I’m placing a write-in vote for Bath Beach Bob.

    • That’s a good point, I think. Hipsters may love Obama, but their real soulmates are Romney and GWB. Hipsters and Romney/GWB share the same attitude – they just express it differently. Peel back those $200 skintight jeans and look under those $500 blow dried haircuts, and you’ll see only slight variations on the same arrogant contempt, masked by phony attempts to look like they identify with the rest of us.

      • Damn Right.
        I love the way hipsters try to act all Liberal, yet can’t tear themselves away from their iShit for 5 seconds cos they’re sticking it to The Man. They remind me of a certain college lecturer I had who worked in Goldman Sachs during the day and used to brag about how he followed the Grateful Dead and go skinny dipping and practice free love when he came into lecture at night. How he’s just a child at heart and really Che Guevara on the inside and the GS thing is just for now. (I’ll bet my bottom dollar he never went near a Dead concert nor did he get laid without paying for it and he’s probably married to some aging New Age goddess who’s cleaning out his savings, one blowjob at a time – if she’s even blowing him).

        Sums up hipsters entirely. Imagine the legends of free love Meghan orgies that await us in about 20 years from guys who never got laid once while their trust-funds lasted.

        • Yeah, your professor pretty much sums it up – it’s just a form of fashionable rebellion. And in 20 years, all those hipsters will be bragging about their zany antics back in their Brooklyn days.

          As for Meghan and Caleb orgies, I can only say “ew.” Unfortunately, some gay guys become hipsters also (most famously that guy from Vampire Weekend), and I honestly find them revolting. They just look so dirty…and not in a good way.

        • Yep….and us people in Portland just passed an ART ART ART tax, which in infinite hip/yup wisdom is a per capita tax – which means that people making minimum wage pay the same $35/year tax as a Pearl District yuppie…….this kind of tax ended Margaret Thatcher’s reign in the UK, but the hips/yups vote for it in Portland? (Oh, and by the way, same-sex marriage and marijuana will be legal in “Vantucky”, or should we call it “Vansterdam” or “Van Francisco”….)

  5. Politics aside if all of those folks hootin & hollerin in Williamsburg just went back to Ohio to Vote for Obama the election would not even be close

    • They won’t do that because their families are republican, the very corporate shills they claim to hate. They may pay lip service to liberalism, but they know deep down they can do what they are doing because of their privilege. They wont be giving it away anytime soon.

      • That’s implying that they’ll even get out to vote in the first place. “Voting is such a hoax! It’s all rigged! Now where did I put my bong?”

      • They also know deep down that despite their superficial displays otherwise,in ten years they will BE the very conservatives they claim to despise. I don’t have much love lost for old granola hippies, but at least a few of them stuck to their guns while they watched the majority of their playcationing, protesting, acid eating, ong haired friends in the 60′s morph into polyester disco dancers and then khaki loving Reaganites.

  6. But seriously, how do Brooklynites feel about stealing private property from working people to build sports palaces for millionaires? And more importantly, how can we blame the hipsters?

    • One enterprising resident fought Rat-ner tooth & nail and eventually ended up selling his property for millions.

  7. Anyone catch Anthony Bourdain’s ‘No Reservations’ last night? His final episode featured Brooklyn. A real New Yorker and a known hipster hater, he did an excellent job of showcasing the real BK, while also not ignoring the more modern side of the borough. He did briefly discuss those scuzzy parasites – I guess its unavoidable considering the level of infestation. I commend him for maintaining a gentlemanly tone, a courtesy I’m sure those sock-heads would not have extended him were the roles flipped, seeing how I’m sure he’s considered a ‘mainstream media sellout’.

  8. They are trying to do a live re-enactment of the Life Aquatic, a movie by Wes Anderson, the most douchey looking yuppie artist prick alive. So much for hipsters trying to be innovators. They are rehashing old shit because they don’t actually have any ideas of their own. And they suck fat elephant chode.

    • LOL!! I’m actually a fan of some of his work but will guiltily admit that’s due in part by his use of Bill Murray. I don’t really see ‘yuppie’ in Wes because when I think ‘yuppie’ I think Grisham reading, Docker wearing, Camry driving golfers LOL I haven’t seen any pictures of him lately though but the last time I did I thought he more resembled a hipster. Please don’t tell me yuppies and hipsters are the same thing now. I’m confused enough by it all as it is.

      • Bill Murray is the only reason I liked that movie. Well, that, and the scene where Jeff Goldblum gets shot. But the commercial just makes me want to punch Wes Anderson in the face repeatedly.

  9. This was posted 2 days ago and I don’t think everyone got to experience it.

    Hipsters document Hurricane Sandy with their own weather report.

    Also, by the same artists: When Good Robots Go Bad – For Flannery’s Parents

    So Flannery’s (yes that’s her name) parents know that their trust funds and Liberal Arts college funds are being put to very good use.

    • I had to stop the first one after 1:16. Humorless yet unfunny.

      Time to send hipstermination squads out and finish off what nature missed.

    • What a bunch of cunts! Honestly, other than some self-indulgent cheekiness, what purpose does it serve? Honestly, do your thing, hipster dicks, but keep it off the internet if you do not want somebody to smash your fucking knee caps with a tire iron when he or she spots you on the very streets you are mocking.

    • Shame the car at 2:50 in the first clip didn’t nail her. It was lined up so well…

  10. Obama isn’t really that strong of a hipster choice anymore (at least where I live). He’s too mainstream now. Now it’s cool to say that nobody really represents them, but they tend to align with libertarian thought. Apathy is king. Just my observation.

    • You, my friend, are correct! What better way to show your individuality than by ironically voting?

      Watch the Google ad above and think twice before urging people to “get out the vote” or “rock the vote.” Instead, you should offer them tickets to some performance art piece or a shitty concert to keep them away from the polls.

      Seriously, watch that ad and picture those turds voting: making a decision that affects us all.

  11. Well, I will not buy the Google product. I clearly am not the target audience. Note that the ad (for a fucking COMPUTER) doe not show one single, disciplined, working adult…COMPUTING! No spreadsheets, no stock reports, no engineering software using calculus, not even a site analyzing sabermetrics—NOTHING THAT A FUCKING COMPUTER WAS INVENTED FOR!!!!!!!!!

    The end product of their little “brainstorm” is nothing more than a whim consistent with a kindergarten class. All that technology, all that software, all that plastic (oil), oil, glass, and precious metals mined from the earth that little Indian kids are scavenging from trash heaps in Calcutta–ALL OF IT–for these fucks to frolic about. Not a fucking productive thing came from their self-indulgent scheme.

    I guess that’s who buys this shit while I’m on line at a gas station filling up a five-gallon jug to run my generator.

  12. haha at you townies and suburban wack jobs fuming over a stupid commercial like it’s a real thing.
    You all need lives.

    • It is the real thing Ned; it happens in your “nabe” all the time. Just do a search: Bushwick+art – plenty of material there to support my post. You fucking transplant hipster fuck.

      • It’s a commercial you freak. It’s inherently going to be hyperbolic nonsense. This has about as much bearing on reality as say a beer commercial where four schlubs are tailgating and then pop a Coors Light or whatever and are surrounded by a bevy of bikini clad women.

        Stupid fucking townie.

        • HERRO STEVIE!!!!

          Because the 35yo Asian Transsexual Vampire who failed 3 different colleges, each one more pathetic than the last, all because he spent his entire time posting the same drivel on this site and others morning, noon and night, for almost 10 years is the epitome of a meaningful life.

          • WTF are you talking about?

          • You mean you have the nerve to say this after the shit you have dumped on this site?
            You hypocritical, non- sequitur spouting little pissant. Drop your sock puppets and post under one name, you cyber coward.

        • Soze. Soze. Soze. Soze. Soze!

    • ClapyourhandsandsayFuckYouNed

    • Um, dick. The reason Google spends the embarrassing amount of cash to promote their latest product is because they are convinced that it is profitable for them to do so. It is real life, otherwise they wouldn’t spend the cash, asshole.

      • “The reason Google spends the embarrassing amount of cash to promote their latest product is because they are convinced that it is profitable for them to do so.”


        “It is real life, otherwise they wouldn’t spend the cash.”

        bwhahah…yes that’s what advertising is about; spending tons of money to hold up a mirror to reality.

    • Needy, you’re back! Over the butt hurt yet? Watch out, Kaiser Soze is looking for you!

  13. Rock On Brother Maddox!

  14. Its called Hipster marketing, something that companies like Apple has been really good at making commercials with fruity music to attract the gen Y hipster segment of this country. Others too are trying to get into the mix such as Amazon which it too as Hipsterish Commercials. Microsoft too is getting into the act of marketing to hipster in order to gain marketshare against apple. As for Google in order for it to expand it needs to capture the Hipster Market something that Apple has locked down the past six years. You dont see Hipster complaining about the new ios maps and accidently stumble outside their gentry studio in bedstuy and walk to Brownsville because they were looking for the nearest organic food store, before you know he gots shot by a stray bullet and a body bag sent home back to Orange County California.. Transplant Go Home!

  15. I wish we could go back to a time where commercials weren’t so super serious and stuff blew up.

  16. Notice how Ian pulls the classic “What was that like?” question that an aging hipsters blithely put forth AS IF they are too young to actually remember a thing. However, it’s perfectly fine to know about 15th century butt licking and be able to blather on about it endlessly in the company of other coffee shop pseudo-intellectuals. Monotone, monotone, monotone = Dude, I’m sew kewl and casual, like…Fucking moron pretending he doesn’t know what a damn gas crisis is or was and he’s in his mid-thirties. “If I pretend to be nieve about recent History I’ll seem, like, younger than I really am.” and the balls of it is he’s posing the “What was that like?” question to a guy his own damn age LOL What a maroon. Stating that the people sitting in long lines trying to get gas is ‘epic’ makes me want to puke.

    BTW, this guy is just an easy-to-access symptom to point to and representative of trustafarian molded personalities, ( like you “Ned” ), that winds up being a self-indulgent, shallow, snob pretending to be a deep artist’. Maybe one day he’ll post a real video that is actually self-aware along the lines of,”I’ve been pretending to be way more immature than
    I actually am.” But that’s probably too much to hope of this lot. Their poor parents…way to make them feel like failures you bunch of spoiled, lazy, shit for brains brats.

  17. Hippies + Yuppies = Hipsters

  18. Washington legalizes marijuana and same-sex marriage, while Oregon rejects legalized marijuana. Attention, Portland hipsters: VANCOUVER, WASHINGTON IS COOLER (or decker, as you say) THAN YOU.

  19. …How is it different from an iPad? I’m sorry but for all it’s hipster-ness none of these videos showed any real selling points.

    Also congrats on Obama winning. Plenty of people around where I live are really happy for his victory and I hope these next 4 years shows even more progress than the last 4.

  20. Oh the Humanity..No one picked up on the google ad that Mark Mothersbaugh from Devo did the soundtrack…Mark’s alter ego is Booji Boy a full formed adult that lives in a baby crib…I’m sure he got his chuckle on cashing that check.De-Evolution IS real and Hipsters are the vanguard of regression.

  21. Oh God now! It burns the eyes!

    Fucking hipsters. “Like yah, let’s build a submarine….LIKE YAH!”

  22. I fail to understand how a rich kid with an expensive iPhone and designer shoes could pretend to be a starving artist. That mystifies me.

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