It’s 9am on a Wednesday
Emaciated Ethan sleeps in
There’s a tattooed Megan laying next to him
Her job is riding around on a Schwinn

He has arms that resemble celery
And sounds like he talks through his nose
His new art loft is sweet
I read that from his Tweet
He fits into young women’s clothes.

Yah yah yah di di yahhhhh
Yah yah di di yah yahhhhhh

Sing us a song, you’re the Casio man
On the Bedford Ave platform tonight
You claim we hate you out of jealousy
Your beard I’d love to ignite.

Now Josh at the bar is a friend of his
He gets him his craft ale for free
He claims to be broke but always has coke
Thank god for that liberal arts degree

He says, “Ethan, I believe this is itching me.”
As he scratched the filthy beard on his face
“One day I’ll be a famous artist,
But for now my dad pays for my place”

Oh, Yah yah yah di di yahhhhh
Yah yah di di yah yahhhhhh

Zoey is a waitress practicing smugness
Part time Vegans chew on chicken bones
Yes, they’re sharing with us their pretentiousness.
But it’s better than flying back home.

Sing us a song, you’re the Casio man
On the Bedford Ave platform tonight
You claim we hate you out of jealousy
Your beard I’d love to ignite.

Now Zach is a real shitty novelist
Got held up for his iPhone with a knife
He’s extremely lazy
Got fired from Old Navy
He’ll be in credit card debt for life

It’s a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
McCarren’s full of Chloes and Kyles
They’ve done shit all week; this park really reeks
And probably will for a while
And the Casio, it sounds like a 5 year old’s
And Ethans body is shaped like a spear
And they sit at the bar – drink from mason jars
And say, “Yah, PBR is the best beer”

Oh, Yah yah yah di di yahhhhh
Yah yah di di yah yahhhhhh

Sing us a song, you’re the Casio man
On the Bedford Ave platform tonight
You claim we hate you out of jealousy
Your beard I’d love to ignite.