Today, I saw Chase with his bushy red beard, Henry Kissinger glasses, and incense stick legs ordering a six-foot escarole and artisanal mayo hero sandwich for the Kickball Championship awards ceremony where he would receive a trophy for striking out at every plate appearance. So I bashed him across the face with a whole Prosciutto; placed him between the hero bread and mailed him back home to his enabling parents’ house just in time for his sister Zelda’s liberal arts school graduation party. End of story.
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