Oh no! The October 2012 “LOOK AT ME” Award has been leaked so we have no choice but to show it a little bit early. Look at this attention starved fuck. How does he do this without knowing that every 3rd or 4th person that walks by would like to slam that typewriter over his fucking head. I’m totally shocked that this Ethan is not wearing a scarf, wool ski hat and leg warmers for a little bit of extra attention.
May a real Brooklyn thug beat the shit out of him.
What next, Hipsters taking pictures 1800s style with the Gun Powder Flash Pan while their head is under the black blanket?
Yes that is next. And the hipster beater already took care of them. (see most recent hipster beating) LOL
I’m waiting for the day I see some pastey bean sprout shapped nobody out in public nasally honking into one of these:
http://www.caesarscoins.com/ba174-01.jpg
I suppose he’s trying to grow sideburns just to prove that he actually can. It’s not working out very well for him, though.
Maybe the next project should be growing a chin. I have a plecostomus in my fishtank with more of a chin than this guy, and it probably spends less time with its mouth open.
He’s at the fucking High Line park too, isn’t he?
Flamethrowers.
The High Line would be the perfect place for this fucking Ethan to pull a vintage look at meeeee. It has become one giant monument to gentrification; totally jacking prices up in areas of west Chelsea, pushing out people that made it a community, so that trust funded children of the corn can fly here and play urban artist, along with artisanal cupcake lovers on a Carrie Bradshaw fantasy – the High Line is a statement on the pussification of New York. Perfect place for these sickly pale tryhards act like the kidults they are.
He’s not at the High Line, it looks like he’s at the waterfront of The Edge condo development down the street from me. You could snap his arms and legs like a pixie stick.
If it were the High Line, there would be much less room; the crowding on that thing is hilarious – uhh, it’s just a fucking train track guys, let’s calm down.
FWIW it’s the HIgh Line. Jesus, that’s “Beta Male” personified. The kind of person who’d step out of the shower to take a piss.
It’s the High Line? I definitely take your word for it. What do I know. Last time I was on the High Line it was 1983 or ’84 when it was abandoned. Now, you couldn’t pay me to go.
I see that men shaving their legs and wearing shitty Keds is at least as important as hauling around a typewriter for show n tell.
If an adult is doing show n tell to sell the item, ok, fine. But for what this clark kent wannabe is doing? Blurgh….maybe they’re waiting for the gay leathermen’s club to swing through on their harley’s and haul them off into the sunset.
“Mom? I’m getting married!”
“Oh that’s just wonderful Caleb. Who’s the lucky girl this time?”
“Oh. Uh. Well, Mom…it’s a guy this time. He’s a black gentlemen and his name is
Spartacus….Mom? You there?”
“Yes, I think so…”
“Anyway, I was calling to see if I could wear your old wedding dress. And could you let Dad know that I’m sorry, but I need some more money. About ten thou should do the trick.”
“OK dear…”
Caleb gets a call three days later that his dad was last seen on his way to NY and possibly armed. Caleb and Spartacus book it for the Canuckian border with just a whip and ten thou to their names. Two years later, Spartacus finds new meat and has a little coke addiction. He sells Caleb to some rough trade types from Russia and Caleb’s family is never burdened again.
Sounds like our friend Matthew (the tutu) Silver’s life stiry. Even the rough trade types from Russia couldn’t stand him…
I was a pro writer for long enough that I’ve seen every last stunt and every last gag used by wannabes looking for a shortcut to publication. Half think they’re Jack Kerouac, and come up with some goofy gimmick for writing, such as using unorthodox paper or strange writing devices. The other half think they’re Harlan Ellison, and make a big deal about “creating” in public. This dweeb is trying both. The really sad part is that he’s probably secretly hoping that some newspaper or book publisher sees him, looks over his shoulder to see what he’s writing, and tells him “Good job, son. Would you like a job?”
Now these two old cats got the bait game right….although it’s a softer version than I’d like to have seen…
Hope this helps give some good ideas out there…
Just read some of the comments on that video. Right now, most are along the lines of “Well, I didn’t think that was funny AT ALL.”
Least of all to the hiptard who’s phone was stolen to make that video.
This reminds me of when I lived in Portland — I was sitting at a dive bar one night and some gormless Tristyn walked in with a spindle of 45s and one of those 1960s child’s close-and-play phonographs.
He found a table with an electrical outlet, plugged in his record player (which had somehow been retrofitted with headphones) and sat there for the evening, listening to 45s and changing them by hand every couple of minutes.
I’m amazed he didn’t pull out a pack of Magic: The Gathering cards. I’ve seen that in Portland, too, among the same crowd.
Really? Hm. I wouldn’t have thought hipsters would have the patience for card games. I guess Magic is a little different or something.
It’s not about the game per se. It’s all about getting it set up, and then desperately hoping that someone will come up, ask them about it, and then ask them to come home with them. (When I lived out there, I regularly passed a former bookstore space in SW on my way to work. A couple of try-hards had decided to take it over as a coffee shop, which wasn’t that big a deal, but they didn’t have the capital to turn it into an internet cafe or anything. Instead, they picked up a literal truckload of old games from the local Goodwill and set up a display case with them, offering customers the opportunity to sit back and play a game. You’ve never seen anything so pathetic as your classic hipster waiting at 7:30 in the morning with a game of Sorry! out on the table, literally begging passersby to come inside and play a game with him.)
Asshole should have played “Spin the Flare” or “Kick the Claymore.”
I would have been happy if it had been “Don’t Piss on the Electric Fence”.
Maybe we’re all wrong! This kid could be a one in a million artistic genius writing the next “Huckleberry Finn”. Maybe………. nah, he’s just a dick..
My theory on all the hipster hate, at least from the perspective of a native Bklynite:
It’s all about pretension. In my neighborhood if you acted a little high and mighty someone would help you out with a smack. “He thinks who he is”. You had to be a little humble. I think it was good system. It taught respect. If you wanted to disrespect someone, you better be able to kick their ass. Being pretentious was considered disrespectful.
My 2¢…
This is the end result of kids who were brought up to believe they’re special and that they get a blue ribbon just for showing up.
I was taught humility also, and I remember seeing an episode of Barney the Dinosaur back in the 90s where they had this song that went “You are special – there’s no one like you!” and thinking it was ridiculous.
Now these little self-esteem spawn want to come here and show those of us who’ve actually had to work to get where we are today how “special” they are. Little shits.
Now they get a Pabst Blue Ribbon just for showing up.
Ahh, yes, I remember the lad well. Caught him up in Racine, Wisconsin. Using the same device. He would type something up, then take a picture of it with his iPhone and post it to his Facebook page. It was full of artistic irony, so he claimed. Problem was, his little toy also made a fair amount of noise, so it wasn’t just “look at me” it was also “listen to me.” Put him on a one way flight to JFK and jammed $200 in his pocket so he could survive for 2 days and see how awesome New York is before giving up and trying to go home. Glad to see he is fitting in and you guys can appreciate his irony.
Just found this site. Love it! Keep it up. When I was coming up, we used to call the hipsters “invaders.” But 20 years ago, they weren’t as prevalent as today. Part of the reason I had to move down South was because of these hipsterfarians. Anyway, love the site. From a Queens boy, born and bred.
Dave it states car rental? You don’t need a car if you rented one? I’ll get you to the outlets.
Sent from my iPhone
I would love to put a 428 Cobra Jet engine on a penny farthing, circle back 200 yards and gun it right down the center of his body, neatly bisecting him into 2 pieces.
I have a 351 Cleveland. I refuse to part with the 428.
One more thing…I am really, really out of it. What’s this whole artisanal food shit? I mean, I saw some years back an article about it in the NY Times, but I was completely befuddled by it. Can you folks explain what it is?
Overpriced faux-food for stupid look-at-me faux-hemians (aka hipsters).
Yup, that pretty much sums it up. The only “artisan” involved with the food is the coolie wage slave who wrote the cooking directions on the label. Half the time the dumbasses have to get someone more skilled to open the can.
In the NY Times article, I do remember seeing some youngish dude in a white smock and big beard cutting up slices of meat in some factory setting–and I thought, what the fuck? When I think of a butcher I think older man with big belly and a red face. I am too unhip to follow the trends, so I kinda laughed, and rolled my eyes.
Wonder what NY Times article you read. (Also Queens Native born there but lived elsewhere). Butchers vary and I’ve seen young and old slicers/butchers, but you gotta worry if they have facial pubes or 19 Century beards…..you don’t want meat with a side of
beard!
What are you talking about? Don’t you know the Masturbation Bros secret ingredient is surprise beard hairs and they charge $10 extra for it. It gives extra flavor to the Hersheys and organic diarrea mix they call chocolate.
Man, you don’t know what good living is.
I dunno, “artisan” food (although the name is stupid, it should be called “handcrafted” or something less phony) is actually super good- pricy, but it’s a great gift to recieve. I got a little jar of locally farmed blueberry preserves with limoncello… So delicious.
I don’t know who could afford to get that stuff ALL the time, but it’s great for a sweet treat or a present.
Tobi, stop pretending to dislike hipsters while subtly defending them and finding something good about them on every post. It looks ridiculous and your name is friggin Tobi.
Kaiser Soze sends greetings. I figured that if you were left alone you would reveal yourself after a few posts.
Who else comments on months-old postings? Hmmm, it’s on the tip of my brain.
What an asshole!
You guys are just jealous of his quirky literary skills and his whimsical facility with the English language.
sent from my vintage typewriter
Bryce Doggy Dog here. I’m SO with all of you natives. Fo reals. What the hell is up with these kids wearing tight jeans and carrying type writers around? Looossseers. Let’s just see if they can get into the VIP room. Doooon’t thiiiink soooooo. I don’t like to brag but if I have to wait in line at the club, it’s probably not the place to see and be seen. If Avicii ain’t playing through the speakers, I’m outs. BTW, hit me up if any swanky places open up in your hood ok. I like to be in the know, even outside the Manhizzle. Keep up the good work and let’s keep the Hipsters in Brooklyn where they belong. Later bros.
*blink* Hipsters belong in Brooklyn? I thought they belonged in a garbage can somewhere.
Hipsters belong in Brooklyn? Obvious hiptard fail troll is obvious.
What the hell is a hiptard fail troll? If you’re calling me ugly then you haven’t seen me buddy. I think FaceTheFacts needs to do just that, and recognize you ain’t ever getting in the VIP room.
Actually I’m wrong. You would get in the VIP Room……at the gay bar.
Bryce Boggy Dog is in the houuuuuuuuse!!!
Bryce, Bryce, Bryce … We’re all certain that you’re just as pretty as you say you are, you narcissistic egotist, and that your #1 ambition in life is to get into a VIP room, ANY VIP room. But what FTF meant was that by calling yourself something as idiotic as “Bryce Doggy Dog” and saying things like “hipsters belong in Brooklyn,” you’ve outed yourself as 1) a hipster retard (“hiptard”) 2) who has failed horribly (“fail”) 3) in your overly obvious attempt (“obvious”) to 4) post something agressively stupid (“troll”) in a pitiful attempt to drag the regular posters into a flamefest. I would suggest you go back to the shallow end of the pool, little boy; you’re just a tad out of your depth and will drown out here.
Flamefest sounds about right for you and your BF FaceTheFacts. First off, he started this. All I wanted to add is that these Hipsters that everyone hates so much should stay in BK where they belong. I live in Soho and even though they probably couldn’t afford to live here, I’d rather not see boat-neck tees and high-tops in my club of choice. Either wear a proper cuff-link shirt or get out. You should know Robespierre Jet Set. What is this, French?
Brycie boy, why don’t you come to Las Vegas, my home town, this weekend? This place has more VIP rooms than any other place on earth, so you should feel right at home. The wife and I can meet you at McCarran on Friday evening, then we can go out into the desert to play a little kickball before we go clubbing – I’ll kick you in the balls so hard they’ll end up in your throat, and then I’ll baste you a couple of times upside the head with a golf club. As for not knowing who Robespierre was, maybe you should stop playing around with daddy’s money and go back to school.
Who in the hell plays Kickball anymore? And I was born poor, only to work my ass off in finance so I can enjoy the VIP. Just cause you’re hating from outside the club doesn’t mean it’s wrong to be inside. And BTW, what’s a desert lizard doing on a NYC forum? You choose to live in a world of so called narcissistic egotist people. I think I’d rather live in a cardboard box on the corner of N. 7th and Bedford than Las Vegas.
You’re drowning, Bryce … and we all know better than to believe that you were “born poor” and “work (your) ass off in finance.” You’re too stupid to work in that field. I should know; I spent 25 years on futures trading floors before retiring at 52, and I have 2 daughters with finance degrees from UCLA now working at investment banks in Singapore. Mommy’s calling, Sunny Jim – time for you to go home now.
Please Lord I hope I have better things to do with my life at your age than bash young kids behind the anonymity of the internet. Geesh. I think I need a shower now. Outta here.
25 – 40 year old people are kids? LOL you fucking joke.
You brag about paying for a handjob in a strip club and then trash posters on this site?
Definite self esteem problems, Brycie. Oh, and drop the hoodspeak, it makes you sound like you’re 14. Oh, wait, maybe you mean a hot, urban music venue, bragging about shelling out good money to cram yourself into a flashy trendoid bar full of vapid posers and calling kudos for qualifying for the Very Important Poser room? And you decided we had to know about this? Sad.
You won’t. Ain’t retirement wonderful? Oh, I forgot … you’re still “working your ass off.”
Have a nice shower – may I suggest Irish Spring? “Manly, yes; but Bryce likes it too!”
You said “hipsters belong in Brooklyn”. Only a hipster would say that. Everyone (but douchetard hiptards like you) knows that hipsters belong at the bottom of the Marianas Trench. Period. You’ve outed yourself. Take a running leap into the nearest industrial sized woodchipper.
HERRRO STEVIE!!!!!
New sock puppet much?
This from today’s Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York really sums up what’s wrong with the hipster infection:
“One of the things I like about the Upper East Side is that it remains so much itself. It’s not trying to be another neighborhood and it’s not trying to be cool. It’s filled with all kinds of tacky, expensive shops, and none of them are ironic. The rich people there, walking around in full-length furs, look like New Yorkers, and not like Europeans or Midwesterners trying to look like Europeans in New York.
“There are also lots and lots of ancient white ladies toddling around, complaining about life, with their hands heavy with diamonds and their eyelids painted pink. They have great faces, and you can watch them go by from the window at Neil’s.”
Sent from my quill pen
ROFLMAO
“…sent from my quill pen.”
omfg….LOL!!! I’m just telling you right now, I’m gonna steal that bro’. Effective today. It’s a new slug line for men’s deodorant…
(beardo dressed salty dog style)
“How authentic am I? I’m sending you my love with a quill pen.”
Stinkpit deodorant. 100% organic. Authentic all day long.
Remember the old scam the NYPD used to do to pick up deadbeat dads? They’d send them a notice for free Yankees tix and they’d all show up at one place. Doors would get locked and they’d make a mass arrest.
We could do the same with these Nair addicted Calebs. have ‘em show up for at an abandoned subway stop for free rice krispie treats and Sunny D, dump them on a train and haul them off to
Dakotatucky.
Or, better still, the Kill van Kull garbage dump. (Make sure you Kill van Colby first).
With all the dead bodies the Mob already dumped there, nobody will notice anything funny.
I think the guy’s wearinhg a training bra.
He does have little man tits, doesn’t he? Fucking mutant.
The only reasonable – I mean REMOTELY reasonable explanation for him doing this is because his laptop could get snatched from him.
Then again he runs the risk of the same thug braining him with the typewriter.
Thug? I’d call him a hero.
Even then. Sorry, but I learned how to type with a manual typewriter. Hell, I spent about a third of my old writing career, such as it was, on a manual. Jammed keys, worn-out ribbons, and the insane noise. As soon as I could snag a used laptop, I did. This jackass isn’t using this to be artistically free. He’s doing it so people hear the noise, look at his little toy, squeal “My grandma used to have one of these,” and hopefully pay some more attention to him. Well, what he’s really hoping for is a sugar mama who’ll let him be him, fuck his brains out nightly, and still let him see other people, but I’m trying to be nice.
Here’s the last person I know who still needed a typewriter. Let’s hope Caleb Nairlegs doesn’t get any ideas.
http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/crime/serial-killers/unabomer/
Take someone like that guy that shot up a movie theater and Kazinski. Who’s name do you know better?
Both were pointy heads at above-average levels even in their respective studies/disciplines. Which one destructed sooner?
Which one, at least in age, qualifies as being a part of the hipster gen?
One a fundamental level, these folks grow up needing attention. Stick the average hipster out in teh woods alone for 3 days and you are gonna pick up one blubbering, shaking, out of their mind with fear puddle of piss.
This just in. Maddox’s coded message to all wannabe hipsters not yet weaned off of Mommie’s teat.
“The only exception is when I call you an idiot, which is a demonstrable fact”.
Speaking of which, I wonder about how well the IRS is making out with parents who list their grown kidults as dependents:
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/claiming-25-old-son-dependent-070054111.html
If being a hipster = “permanently and totally disabled at any time during the year, regardless of age”, she’ll be fine.
Otherwise, better call Jacoby and Meyers on those meanies in the IRS.
“permanently and totally disabled” – mentally and emotionally, you bet!
Wish I hadn’t, but I met some folks once upon a time who had a son living with them well past the point of parenting. Everything about it said ‘fraud’ to me. The claim was the dope smoking son was psych disabled, but dad was fine with him having a cw and a motorcycle. Sorry, but if your 28 yr old kid is competent to get a motorcycle liscence, competent to drive it all over the state, and, worse, competent to carry a loaded weapon around then him sitting on disability checks strikes me as somewhat sketchy.
It’s certainly possible I missed something because I didn’t know ‘em well at all and had no desire to. But sometimes if it looks like a pig…
If the dad can prove hiptard son is developmentally disabled/some sort of autism spectrum Aspergers disorder, then OK. But that’s a very gray area with these jerkoffs…I wonder how he made $12,000. Was he a freelance mayonnaise curator/blogger/urban beekeeper/DJ/MacBook videographer, part-time at Mast Bros.? Seems like a lot of money for those occupations. Not sure the IRS will go along with the disability claim there
I think he forgets that New York’s subways, unlike those in just about every other city on earth except for Chicago, run 24-7, and most of the service changes are at nights on and on weekends, not during rush hour, because those are the only times they can do repair and maintenance work. But having been on subways in other cities around the world, I’d say in terms of cleanliness and investment in new technology, he’s pretty much on the mark.
He’s obviously never ridden the DC Metro (a.k.a, Congress’ toy train set). Closed a lot of the time, broken most of the time, dark anf dirty. And that’s on a good day.
Except it’s impossible to keep cleanliness when it’s operating 24/7/ 365, especially when you have the thugs and homeless roaming around. Our system is getting it’s share of technology but it makes more sense to renovate first before installing hubs for wireless/ mobile devices and digital info booths. It doesn’t help when morons think they can hold the door end up delaying the trains making those time boards a bit useless.
Our trains are also in the process of being retired for the new high tech fleet to come in.
I think a lot of the cleanliness problems could be solved if they enforced littering laws better by imposing bigger fines and imposing them more often, and it might help the MTA close some of its budget gap as well.
I think the states could learn a lot from the Germans. Brother, when that conductor says the train’s pulling out at 7:15, there ain’t a god damned thing in the world that’s gonna stop it. No granny crying, no sick baby, nobody hollerin’ about discrimination – NOTHING. Even the authorities better get their on time if they want to grab someone on board.
And some German cities learned to appease the graffiti artists. New cars are always gonna be temptations and rather than pretend that’s not true, the city would hold a contest and the winner got the honor of painting the car. The work had to be approved, but there was some beautiful stuff over there. That one new car was enough and the honor system was that all the others would be left alone.
How do they afford all that? I’m afraid that’s an answer few Americans are comfortable with.
Yet. Time will tell. Personallly, I don’t mind paying taxes when they pay off in some beautiful transit system or parks kept clean or after school programs and daycare. It’s that our pol’s aren’t used to being strung up by the ankles when they’re caught ripping the people off. Mussolini might be able to convey a thing or two to them.
Or, as I love reminding people, at least it’s THERE. There isn’t any other subway system that complex anywhere else in the USA or Canada. There aren’t many full-blown subways (with more than 5 lines) outside of Europe or Japan that I know of so stop complaining.
Hell, ever ride the London Underground anytime in the last decade (especially the District Line)? For sheer dilapidation it makes NYC look like the Jetsons. Even Paris is not all it’s cracked up to be.
There is that. We still have the most stations of any system in the world, last time I checked. One thing NYC, London and Paris all have in common is that their subways are among the oldest in the world, while systems in Hong Kong and Shanghai were built within the last 40 years.
Hong Kong – top-notch subway system, almost surrealistically clean at all hours, multiple rail lines, lots of stations with multiple exits, simple line transfers, smart fare cards … it’s the finest rapid transit system I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve seen more than a few.
Gawd, the London Underground’s gone to hell over the past five years or so, pretty much like the rest of England. And since I’m half-British and hold dual citizenship, it’s particularly galling for me to say that. It used to be the model of efficiency and cleanliness; now it’s nothing more than a dry sewer with dilapidated trams running through it.
The “dry sewer” remark was meant to be about the Underground, but I suppose you could pretty much say that about England as a whole as well. Drool, Brittania.
Moscow. Awesomest subway ever built. It’s quite old and has statues, paintings and stained glass everywhere.
Communist propaganda sure but it’s awesome (look at the videos on the side at the end for more).
Yeah, the MTA is a gem and I was very impressed with it when I visited.
Clockworks and cold steel are far better left to the Germans than the Brits. The smaller nations of the Dutch get it better even. Part of France’s problem has always been that everything is about Paris, including punctuality.
Oh shit – Maddox! I used to love his site. Didn’t know he’s still around.
They know the ups and downs of living here so their whiny asses should go back to where they came from.
We do have grocery stores, they’re dotted around the city, unless of course they want that artisinal, organic free-range shit. I’m not watching the rest of it as I want to beat this guy’s face in.
Shit, when I came out to San Diego, it appeared to me that they did things differently out there. Instead of complaining about it I adapted and enjoyed myself… even if I spent a lot of time with a bunch of cops.
Relax dude. It’s satire. Maddox has been ripping on lots of people since the beginning of the intertoobs. He rips on hipsters too. He’s definitely not a hipster.
My favorite is how he rips on mac users.
I love Maddox but the pizza in 95% of the rest of the country sucks…hard. Just as you can’t get real good KC bbq in NYC, you can’t get a decent slice in Flyoverlandia.
That depends, but you’ve got to hunt for it. I’ll admit that I’m a sucker for Chicago deep-dish, but the best pizza I’ve ever had in my life was in a little hole-in-the-wall up in Saratoga Springs that was run by a Greek family. You could get a buzz off the oregano just by opening the box, and they did something with the garlic butter they’d use on the crust that was sublime. The closest I’ve ever had to this was a similar hole-in-the-wall in Dallas, and it was promptly bought out by two fratboys and turned into a “sports pizzaria” that lasted three months.
That said, I can’t agree with you more for the most part. There used to be a place in Tampa that made decent New York-style pizza, but the owner was from Queens, so he knew what the hell he was doing. Other than that, you can go across entire states before running into a place where the pizza didn’t make you wistful for Papa John’s, and lower than that I can’t get. (My wife’s ex was a Papa John’s junkie, and he convinced me to try some because he claimed he grew up on the real stuff when he was in New York. Of course, he’d last lived in New York when he was three, and I openly questioned his taste and sanity for preferring that shit over real pizza.)
I dunno, man … seems to me that Little Seizure’s is worse than Papa John’s.
“Sports pizzaria” – WTF? Pigskin pepperoni, or what?
Some stereotypes have an element of truth in them, and pizza being better in NY is one of them. On *rare*, comparatively speaking, occasion you can find a decent deli in, for example, the South but man you are gonna have to look hard.
Who is this bearded whiny jerk, and why is he in our city?
Holy frijole! It looks like Linguini Lips is using the Olivetti portable my grandmother gave me whan I started high school – in 1969. I guess this must mean that Steampunk has finally gone out of fashion; if this fuck and Portlandia’s Mr. Close ‘n’ Play are any indication, TransistorPunk must be the newest trend. I guess I’m back on the cutting edge because I still listen to reel-to-reel tapes on a tape deck I’ve had for going on 4 decades now, but at least I have the decency to do it in the privacy of my own home. Besides, I’d probably screw up my back lugging a Tandberg TD20A around in an idiotic attempt to look hep.
I have a Teac A-4300 that I use once in a blue moon. Mostly it stays covered up to keep the dust off it. I’ve had it forever and not once (til now) has it occurred to me to take it outside for some major attention-whoring (but I won’t. Ever).
My mom had an IBM Selectric…I wonder how many “Quirky” points I could score with it? That thing was pretty heavy, lugging it around would be a total pain in the ass and not worth the attention of the beards-on-sticks and waddling canklesaurs.
The Selectric won’t fly with the Quirky Crowd – it’s electric, so it leaves a carbon footprint. Unlike Mast Bros. chocolate, the Quirkies’ choice – now with 30% more beard hair!
Hey DH, Are you the moderator of the facebook page ”not being a dirty hipster”? I see a lot of your material there.
Nope.
I was wondering that, too. Those plagiarizing bastards!
BREAKING! Breaking hard! —
Snob beer from beardo yeast! No joke. — http://sfist.com/2012/09/27/ew_yeasty_beard_used_to_brew_oregon.php
He’s kind of old to be a hipster, but still.
I saw that at the same time. FUCK. Now you’ll see 30,000 try-hards doing this just to say they could. “Uh, my pilsner is using yeast from my girlfriend’s UTI…” And you thought breast milk cheese was disgusting.
Just wait for Ye Olde Pubic Meade
The Mast Bros’ father…
I think you might have got this gusamo in big trouble, if his MomMom sees he’s not wearing shoe laces she might be on the next flight out from Minnesota. I can picture her taking him shoe shopping after she cleans his eight foot by eight foot apartment.
Damn, but I want to get up right now and find this asshole and grab that typewriter, raise it as high over his head as my arms will allow, and bring it down with such force and velocity on to his skull that I crush him about halfway down his concave chest. It would probably sound like a window breaking.
Wouldn’t take much force. A fucking feather blowing in the breeze would knock him unconscious. All you gotta do is look at him and fake a punch in his direction and he will first, piss his pants and second, crumble into a ball of fear. I would just make him feel more uncomfortable than he’s ever felt in his life….. THEN smash that thing across his jaw. Rents have skyrocketed in these neighborhoods so this worthless pussy can sit around doing this all day? What a fucking sack of shit.
You can read the sense of entitlement on his fuckin’ face.
I had to look again.
What could he possibly be typing? His own death certificate? It’s so obviously done for attention so people can admire his thread-bare St. Vincent de Paul t-shirt and swim trunks. Love the women’s Keds. Looks like some cyclists ran over his feet while he was deep in his creative whirlwind.
What do you want to bet there’s no ribbon in the fucking machine?
Hey, you folks have it easy. At least you don’t live in San Francisco, aka Progressive Land, where tomorrow the Critical Massholes are celebrating 20 years of making it tougher for working people to get home on the last day of the month.
http://district5diary.blogspot.com/2012/09/critical-mass-has-bullied-san-francisco.html
Oh my god, I remember those assholes from when I lived in Oregon. The first time I heard about Critical Mass, it was when someone in an ambulance nearly died because they were blocking the way.
This half-assed cockrag isn’t even typing correctly. He’s using one little girly finger at a time.
“Hunt & Peck” is pretty amateur. I do know a guy who could hunt & peck and do over 35wpm, but he’d been doing it for at least 30 years.
OMFG! The dorkling with the typewriter is the spittin’ image of a poser who tried to hang out at my friend’s head shop on Calhoun St. in Cincinnati in 1969. The asshole wore professor’s tweeds, an Ascot and smoked a Sherlock Holmes calabash pipe while swanning down the sidewalk. He wanted to get high and listen to ” real acid rock ” and get in on some ” free love “.
We convinced him he could get high smoking ( wait for it ) peanut butter! I swear to God the schmuck came back with a jar of Skippy and bought a brass hash pipe from us, sat down in the shop, loaded up and took a big hit! Molten peanut butter flowed into his mouth and he got the horse laugh of his life and left in a huff of early H.B.H.!
They have always been there, hitch hiking on the perceived hipness of the truly weird and putting on a show for the rest of us. Humor is our best weapon and these posers load our guns for us.
I’ve been saying it for years here: hipsters=hippies.
Same people, 40 years later.
It’s funny because we used to make fun of “hippies” — yuppies with dreadlocks and BO who loved their vegan, organic, local shit — when I was in the Northwest. I guess they would be more accurately described as proto-hipsters.
Slight correction. Hipsters=artificial hippies!
You are just like yah … jealous of like his art like yeah art
It’s true, Jimmy … now go away – I don’t want you to see me crying.
Horrible. BTW, the 3rd ave festival in bay ridge is sunday if anyone wants to hang out with people who have lived in bay ridge for longer than ten years….should be fun!
http://thecaptainpower.blogspot.com/2012/09/you-need-to-buy-your-halloween-costume.html
Not long after my last post, I had to see two of these turds out here on Long Island. One dick was wearing a white dress shirt underneath a long-sleeved black sweater (it was in the 70′s), a Lester Young-styled pork-pie hat, and a bag (bandolier style) at his waist. What could possibly be in there is a mystery. Probably styrofoam peanuts. I wanted to take the clawed end of a hammer, Moe Howard-like, to his nostrils. The other was wearing cut-off jean shorts and…A FUCKING SKI HAT!!!! Unless you’re the guy on “The Monkees” you should not be doing that during a bad economy in a town with about 15 bars.
I never understand why the hipsters wear winter clothing in subtropical heat. Can someone explain that to me?
They grow up in places where you need to wear warm clothes a huge chunk of the year, and when they come to NYC they bring their head lice hats with them. Plus, Beta males with twizzler legs get cold when it’s 70-90 deg, like hairless chihuahuas.
Nope. It’s all for attention. “Let’s be ironic!”
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://hive.slate.com/hive/made-america-how-reinvent-american-manufacturing/article/industrial-devolution
Right, they’re doing something entirely new and innovative. Fucking Cro Magnons stuffed meat in guts for transport and storage. Here in Cincinnati they make some of the best starting with Eric at Eckerlin’s Meats in Finley Market. Great wurst!
At least these guys know that the flavor and texture of good sausage comes from a high proportion of fat and gristle! High grade meat makes dry crumbly sausage. If their wurst tastes right then I’ll buy it but they’d better bring their A game!
I saw that article yesterday and thought it was a joke. Anyone who thinks hipsters will lead a manufacturing renaissance in this country is delusional. The kind of scale and infrastructure you would need to become a major player in any industry isn’t possible with these kinds of small-scale operations, and hipsters would naturally want to avoid being perceived as “corporate.”
Oh, wait until you see all of the pud-pulling in “Make” and “Wired” about 3D printing. Apparently the big thing at the various Maker Faires is to buy a 3D printer and set it up, showing how easy it is to make action figures. I have no doubts that this sort of protyping will change manufacturing, but this is like watching kids playing with an old Thingmaker in the late Sixties and their pretending that they’re changing the world with rubber lizards and spiders.
It also requires hours of brutal work: a four-letter word that those tools loathe.
This crappy new movie checks every hipster box..
http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/independent/thecomedy/
I watched the trailer, didn’t see any comedy. All I wanted to do was punch my fist through to the back of that smug dick smoker’s head.
They cut out what happened next after he said to the fellas hanging out in the bar “I’m representing Williamsburg bro, respect where I come from”, (meaning I’m a transplant staycationer and NOT from Williamsburg)so I imagine that’s the comedy!
What’s with the spitting beer all over everybody? Is that Performance Art?
You’re right, every hipster box is checked.
Synopsis:
On the cusp of inheriting his father’s estate, Swanson (rich, check)Tim Heidecker, “Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!”) is a man with unlimited options. An aging hipster in Brooklyn(check), he spends his days in aimless recreation(check) with like-minded friends (“Tim & Eric” co-star Eric Wareheim, LCD Soundsystem frontman James Murphy and comedian Gregg Turkington a.k.a.”Neil Hamburger”)(check, check, check) in games of comic irreverence and mock sincerity. As Swanson grows restless of the safety a sheltered life offers him(check), he tests the limits of acceptable behavior(check), pushing the envelope in every way he can. Heidecker’s deadpan delivery cleverly masks a deep desire for connection and sense in the modern world. The Comedy wears its name on its sleeve, but director Rick Alverson’s powerful and provocative character study touches a darkness behind the humor that resonates with viewers long after the story ends.
Provocative, as in you want to beat the shit out of those entitled morons with a crowbar.
Yea and of course plenty of beards, stupid glasses and bikes..check!
When will this end?
“Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!”
A show so fucking stupid and pointless, no amount of killer bud can make it watchable. And if there’s anything they do well in the PNW, it’s weed.
James Murphy is a penis with feet. I don’t care how cutting edge he supposedly is, his schtick was tired by the time he finished recording his first song.
Don’t get me started on Skrillex – even my kids know he sucks hard. And as for Avicii, the less said the better.
I just want everyone to be aware that on the new season of Glee, Kurt (the gay one) has moved to Bushwick to “pursue his passion and creativity” and become a gay hipster stereotype … so it’s that mainstream now.
From the guy who brought us “shit italian moms say”
Does he wax his legs? They’re so smooth…indistinguishable from the females sitting next to him.
This twig of a troll probably eats a panini on the L while clacking away on his “vintage” iTypewriter. I have never wanted a taser and/or a blowtorch more than I do right now.
It is sad that New York is being dis-eased
Hipsters are like kryptonite.
“Leaked!: October 2012 “LOOK AT ME” award ”
Second place?
http://evgrieve.com/2012/09/meanwhile-at-williamsburg-bridge.html
Would it be that he made at least a runner-up in the Darwin Awards. Problem is, Mommy and Daddy would demand that the city put up unicycle crosswalks, so other special snowflakes don’t get turned into organ donors.
Yep, nothing screams hipster attention whore like unicycling across Delancey. And as soon as some poor driver clips him when he’s doing his kidult playing, daddy’s lawyer will be on the 1st plane from Des Moines with a massive lawsuit against the city, the driver, and the auto maker.
I unicycled across Delancey!! Like Yah!!!!
He’s working on his anablog.
pretty sad, but my vote would have been for that moron sitting at a cafe with a toy record player and a pile of vinyl next to him (it was posted on DH a couple of months ago)
Absolutely ZERO muscle anywhere on him.
Wow…for being so ‘” enlightened” you sure seem homophobic to me….Subtle references are not your fort-ay. Also so many other references of other posters to ” Walking dicks” and ” sucking real hard”…You all seem obsessed with penis and gay issues. Check yourself BOOO.
I’m not going to bother responding to your “homophobic” comment. I will leave that to one of the many gay people who post on this site and utterly hate the idea that anyone might make a connection between hipster culture and gay culture.
As for penises, I suggest you take a look at any post on here that attracted a large amount of trolling or whining – the glow-in-the-dark kickball post is a recent example – and then decide for yourself which group spent the most time talking about genitalia.
What really burns me up about this picture is that his shirt probably cost 70 dollars at American Apparel, and he probably bought those shoes at Zumiez for eighty. WHYYYYYY