The Bee Keeps – Sustainable Life

Lyrics begin at 00:17. Enjoy.

The Bee Keeps – Sustainable Life

Well you can tell by the way I nasally talk
I wear womens pants; skin tone of chalk
Bad tattoos and 1/2 a vegan
I have a filthy beard and date a Megan
And now it’s all right, it’s ok
My Daddy’s check is on the way
Real Brooklynites can’t understand
The NY Times loves us man!

Whether you’re a beta or Williamsburg waiter
Sustainable Life, Sustainable Life
The cupcakes are a bakin’, my scallion limbs are shakin’
Sustainable Life, Sustainable Life
LIKE – YAH – LIKE – YAH Sustainable Life Sustainable Life
YAH YAH YAH YAH Sustainable Life

Well I get up at noon then I get high
Put my tight jeans on; try to zip my fly
I splatter paint on my repurposed shoes
I’m a kickball champ – trophy if I lose
Like yah it’s all right, it’s ok
Can’t tell if I am straight or gay
Real Brooklynites can’t understand
The NY Times loves us man!

I’m a rent inflator and a gallery curator
Sustainable Life, Sustainable Life
My Dad says I’m the smartest, Mom says I’m an artist
Sustainable Life, Sustainable Life
Like Yah Yah Yah, Sustainable Life Sustainable Life
LIKE – YAH – LIKE – YAH Sustainable Life

My life went nowhere, but Mommy helps me
But Mommy helps me, YAH!
My life went nowhere, but Mommy helps me
But Mommy helps me, YAH!

Well you can smell me when I take a walk
I’m not a man; shaped like a stalk
My music sucks, I’m a beekeeper
Been kicked around by the hipster beater
Yah, it’s all right, we’re all the same
Organic food and bike lanes
Real Brooklynites can’t understand
The NY Times loves us man!

We like attention to be on us
We swim in the Gowanus
Sustainable Life Sustainable Life
I look like I am starving
As I ride my Penny Farthing
Sustainable Life Sustainable Life
YAH YAH YAH YAH Sustainable Life Sustainable Life
YAH YAH YAH YAH Sustainable Life

My life went nowhere, but Mommy helps me
But Mommy helps me, YAH!
My life went nowhere, but Mommy helps me
But Mommy helps me, YAH!

69 thoughts on “The Bee Keeps – Sustainable Life

  1. You are brilliant.

  2. I am in awe. You are truly a master. This should be accompanied by the banjo

  3. FANTASTIC!!! I am sitting here laughing my ass off! Bravo!!!

  4. TOTAL

  5. Lol!! Absolutely Amazing!!

    The video would start with Caleb strolling up 86th with a double stacked fish taco.

  6. You, sir, represent the very best that America has to offer. Salud!!!

  7. HOLY SHIT! Guaranteed to cause serious HBH!

    • You got that right FACE THE FACTS! And speaking of H.B.H. Check out my 4th episode of C.S.I. WILLIAMSBURG. I just posted it on the NORTH BROOKLYN: WHERE KIDULTS MAKE FRIENDS. YAY! thread. Hope you all like it!

      • I checked it out. I like how the cop deals with the ukelele.

        • Thanks, man! I have great fun writing them and I really appreciate your and other regular’s comments on my efforts. I don’t hold a copyright, anyone is welcome to write their own,in fact let’s start a contest for new C.S.I. WILLIAMSBURG scripts! I know from past posting that there are a shitload of funny, talented people on this site and I would love to see what others can do with my concept. Christ this is so “We could put on the show right here in the barn!” I’m ashamed of myself!

  8. Lyrics not playing…just the music :(

  9. so funny!!! i love it!

  10. barista and part-time poet vincent gallo-brown (the self-hating yupster of http://www.salon.com/2012/01/16/escape_to_the_red_states/ ) explains why having a real job is for the unenlightened: http://therumpus.net/2011/11/the-devilishness-of-idleness/

    “But regardless of the challenges you may or may not face, you still have a choice. You can either spend your time on this planet—which is limited, by the way—worshipping at the altar of neverending occupation, or you can choose to live in the “ontological present”—Slouka’s term—comprised as it is (or could be) of poems, artwork of all kinds, your partner’s warming skin, vast uncluttered days, and thousands upon thousands of idle moments. ”

    yah

    • my mistake, he’s only a part-time barista.

    • Meanwhile an award winning writer like Ha Jin worked as a busboy and warehouse janitor while he wrote.

    • How can somebody pretend to put out a more-or-less philosophical piece with such a gaping fallacy within it: you can be a well-cultured individual even if you work an eight hour (or more) day. For that matter: leisure time doesn’t necessarily translate into intellectual growth.

      For somebody with the capability (loosely used) to hold some sort of job to leech off of another person is entirely unacceptable — no amount of fingerpainting, thrifting, tallboys of PBR, or whatever other inputs to a hipster’s “personal growth” justifies that.

    • SMH.

      So, leisure time leads to enlightenment? Work is for lames, squares, and neanderthals? Last time I checked, most people that I’ve observed who didn’t work just eventually became out of shape, lazier and regressed in so many ways. But hey…it must be nice to live however you want and not have to worry about working while your poor wife foots your bill (after reading that article…she seems wack as fuck too).

      I do art and music…I also work two jobs to keep a roof over my head, food on the table, and make ends meet. Thanks to this article, I will no longer take salon.com seriously. They like a bunch of other media outlets are enablers of worthless adults that will probably produce more wortless children.

      • I am in NO WAY defending that delusional writer’s esoteric bullshit, but there are a lot of retired people who do not regress or get lazy. There are disabled people, (, ( a paraplegic woman who used to hold a paintbrush in her teeth comes to mind ), who cannot sustain, for whatever reasons, a stereotypical work week. Hell, there are little kids who use their ‘leisure time’ more productively than this parasitic wannabe probably does. I believe there are people who’s belief systems about the concept of ‘self-respect’, generally speaking, are so much more realized and evident that they stand in stark contrast to the author’s muttered musings about it. In fact, I don’t recall the author of that junk even mentioning the term ‘self-respect’, which is not very surprising all things considered.

        I think this guy’s idea of ‘free time’ is really time that his girlfriend’s efforts pay for. Oh, and whatevver he inherited after his father’s death. I wonder how much of that gambling addiction of his the old man had to write off and endure before he passed away.

    • Despite an ever-worsening economy and burgeoning population of unemployed, there remains relatively little hunger and homelessness in our society.

      OK, no need to read any further. You sir, Alex Gallo Brown, are a pampered moron.

    • The article should be prefaced by stating “this only applies if you have rich parents who are OK with supporting your lifetime of leisure”.

      “The Church of Work,” as Slouka calls it, has less to do with deeply-held convictions about personal provision or social contribution, it seems to me, and more with a failure of our collective imagination. We work because we don’t know what else to do.

      WHAT??

      That sounds a lot like somebody who has never had to work for anything, ever. What a sense of entitlement. His head is so far up his ass he’ll never see the light of day.

      It has EVERYTHING to do with social contribution. I happen to like being a productive member of society. There are people who are unable to help themselves at the time due to medical problems, injured, elderly, etc., and I am happy to provide care for them. It’s my full-time, salaried job, and I LIKE it. SOMEBODY needs to help Grandma after she fell and cracked her pelvis, somebody needs to get the baby with the high fever to the hospital, somebody needs to help the guy who nearly severed his arm in the car crash. Oh, but we should all quit working and be creative, maaahhhn.

      I bet that didn’t cross their pea-sized minds because they’re so far removed from the reality of working. After all, their parents/rich uncle/grandpa/some family member did the work for them and provided them with a trust fund. And yet they’re so busy rebelling against the system that allows them to have trust funds.

      Next, newsflash, hipster funemployed beardos and canklettes: Swanning around with a moleskin does not automatically make you “creaaaative maaahhhn”, because most of your art and music sucks. It’s completely ripped off, uncreative BS. And rebelling against “The System, maaahn” while happily pocketing daddy’s allowance check for overinflated rent/drugs/PBRs/rooftop parties/overpriced vintage clothes/unpaid part time internships/iProducts is totally hypocritical, not “authentic” at all. How about this thought for the collective lazy beardo thick eyeglass imagination: Pull your own weight, losers.

    • “A few months ago, for example, I had a friend turn me down on an offer of a game of basketball because he had no health insurance. The risk of turning an ankle was too great to bear.”

      Uh huh. Hey Mr.Smug, when your friend declined this invitation that maybe he actually couldn’t bear the idea of…

      1) Being seen in your company by his actual friends
      2) Watching YOU turn an ankle because you don’t have a fucking clue how to play basketball and he didn’t want to
      hear you cry all night in the ER about it and demand you create a Tumblr about it on his behalf
      3) That when you sweat, you smell like goat cheese
      4) That your hot pink short-shorts are bad enough but the worse part is your gum hanging out
      5) Read the previous four points and simply ask yourself,”Is it possible I’m a boring fucknut no one wants to play basketball with?”

      “Be warned, though, if you opt for the latter, you might want to make friends with a naturopath. Or have a girlfriend who goes to University.”

      That is one helluva arrogant admission on your part Buster, but I have no doubt all the many reasons as to ‘why’ it’s true will escape you even beyond your future self who will be a fat, balding, alcoholic loser on a perpetual beach combing expedition. Don’t forget
      to convince yourself the young hotties ignore you because they’re intimidated by a real man ( cough ).

      “Eight years ago, I fell in love with poetry.”

      How fortunate for Poetry. I’m sure if Petrarch were alive and met you, he would hand over his laurel crown instantly and remove himself in disgrace.

      “I am not here to argue with axioms or debunk trite writerly clichés.”

      ‘…trite, writerly cliches’? Cliches?!! You fucking peckerheaded moron, it’s not a cliche. It’s the damned truth. My God, your visceral, butthurt reactions to the fact that a great writer gets even better with time and experience from…derrrrrrr…WRITING, is so amusing I can barely stop laughing. But please, do carry on suggesting that it’s somehow false and without merit because it will result in your writing remaining so subpar that anything a three year old could put out would seem astounding in comparison.

      I could go on, but I’m not giving this crumbknuckle’s sophmoric attempts at profundities anymore effort than I have. I’ve chosen, instead, to be leisurely.

    • Alex Gallo-Brown Says:
      November 3rd, 2011 at 11:52 am
      No problem, DH, Tory, Stephanie, so glad you liked it.
      Vicki: valid point. So let’s stop dividing the labor. I enjoy cooking, view cleaning as a responsibility (whether I’m in a relationship or not), and hope very much one day to be active in the taking care of my kid. I’ll make sure to check out the book.

      So, on top of being a pampered twat, you’re not even taking care of your kid. What happened? Your Asian-girlfriend dumped your freeloading ass?

      • Great lyrics to the song! However, hipsterteminator noted something above I’ve seen rarely discussed in my short time here- the almost omnipresence of Asian GF’s to these third rail douchebags. It boggles my mind that these effeminate signposts running around in lime green jeans with rolled up cuffs, etc. are very often accompanied by really, really attractive Asian women. The disconnect of the entire picture makes one think they’ve fallen through the rabbit hole to an alternate universe. My only conclusion is that however douchey these beanpoles are they must talk a decent enough game to get these girls. My guess is that the whole “artiste” routine must be very effective, but then I say that can’t be it…problem is I have no explanation for it. SMH…

        • It’s not game, it’s money. Primarily daddy’s money.

          A white boy is a brief bus stop next to Loser Alley on an Asian woman’s way to marriage to another Asian guy, nothing more. The other part of the multi-headed coupling is that many of these guys aren’t ‘with’ the chick at all because they are gay. They just intern in the same fashion designers sweatshop.

      • If she hasn’t dumped him, I guarantee she’s shopping for an upgrade. I don’t care how “progressive” a chick claims to be, or how much new-age, mumbo-jumbo about gender equality flies out of her mouth, she still has a rather traditional view concerning gender roles and places a high value on security (physical and financial) in a relationship.

        She looks at her peers who are housewives. Whether they have married blue collar guys, military men, cops, techies or corporate climbers clocking 6 figs, they all have one thing in common: they are not wanting for much in the way of material things and have a man in the house.

        She contrasts that with her life — pulling her weight and his with little to show for it while her hubby lives in a dreamworld, hiding his apparent laziness and lack of job skills behind the pretense of “sticking it to the man” and the facade of being a “creative type waiting for that big break”.

        If she hasn’t 86′d him, then she’s simply waiting for the right opportunity to do.

    • This guy moved for his girlfriend. Women love a guy with nothing better to do with their time than switch continents and then sit around the house…(eye roll)

      But anyway…

      “We work because we don’t know what else to do.”

      Actually, we work because it is the natural state of man to pour his otherwise sexual energy into creating, innovating, doing, and amassing resources. This is to achieve the end of procreation for which we are programmed. This is the story of civilization. Today we are afforded the luxury of hours upon hours of free time because of the hard work of our ancestors. How do we spend it? Well, some choose ONLY to indulge in the fruits of other people’s hard work. Watching films, reading books, buying fashionable clothes, eating hand crafted pickles, downloading music. Values expressed via consumption. These are the hipsters.

      If you don’t know “what else to do” then you haven’t found your path yet.

    • “Police said Saturday that Villalobos had told detectives that it was without fear that he leaped from an elevated train into the animal’s den. His reason, they said, was that “he wanted to be one with the tiger.’” Yeah, like tiger poop. Dumbass…

      • ‘like tigerpoop’ LOL!!!!

        Somehow I don’t imagine the tiger would have to strain too hard to expel him though.

  11. Now the hipsters have started taking to disturbing zoo animals, is what I meant to say.

  12. Do you think all the hipsters out there appreciate the irony of diehipster being 100x more creative than they are?

    • I don’t know if they would appreciate it, but I do know it would intensify their already severe butthurt caused by DH.

      • Speaking of butthurt, have you heard of the new O.T.C. medication? Preparation H.B.H. treats Hipster Butt Hurt ironically!

        • Hey, that gives me a business idea. “Homeopathic Toilet Water”(TM).
          Cures HBH on contact (use 27 times a day for 5 years).
          Only $100 for a 10cc bottle. Makes the Butthurt go away!

          Now excuse me. I’m off to Kickstarter for funding.

    • No, I don’t, man! They don’t recognize any irony but their own copied, watered down version of other people’s flights of fancy. Diehipster is full of folks with a quirkier sense of humor and a more developed sense of irony than any hipster born of canklesauri, starting with D.H. himself. LONG MAY HE WAVE!

  13. LMAO!

  14. If they can get enough Kickstarter donations, a zither / jews-harp / accordian version of this will be recorded by “Shy Fruiter and the Sapplings*” in mom’s basement. Afterwards, it’ll be all high-fives, pizza pops and Sunny-D to celebrate.

    (*Band name invented by Dave Barry)

  15. “We like attention to be on us
    We swim in the Gowanus
    Sustainable Life Sustainable Life
    I look like I am starving
    As I ride my Penny Farthing”

    I fucking died!

  16. “And now it’s all right, it’s ok
    My Daddy’s check is on the way”

    That did it for me. DH, you outdo yourself every week. This is gold.

    • You are right B.B.! D.H. Is a major talent in parody and puts my meager efforts to shame.I couldn’t come up with such a polished piece of comedy like this if my life was on the line! He deserves our respect as an artist and hipster beater!
      INFLICT H.B.H. AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY!

  17. DH – you need to put this song on Kickstarter and start collecting donations to fund the recording of this on limited edition vinyl.

  18. These lyrics are fucking PRICELESS!!! I get so infuriated on a daily basis watching these cry baby little bitchlings pollute the streets of my Philadelphia neighborhood. This site affords me some solace. Thank you!!!

  19. Wow, someone hates hipsters as much as I do!!!

    • “Police said there was no indication he was intoxicated.” No, just nuts. He should win a nice long playcation in the Rubber Room.

  20. Whaaa whaaa whaaa. Honk honk tstt tstt. You hurt my feelings. I’m telling molly when she gets back from her organic breast milk cheese and yoga class and her pubic hair weaving stitch class. She is going to then write a really good response on her iphone 5. You meanie. Molly will then make me change into my pj’s and tuck me in. So there.

    • Her iPhone was stolen on her way home while she was filming an ironic rat fight to post on YouTube. She couldn’t identify the perp because it was a scary person of color. Or a blind Catholic schoolgirl in a wheelchair.

  21. WOW ! Amazing how the beegee’s voices sang those lyrics to life in my head. Good shit ! By the way any rants about hipsters wearing Ulysses S. Grant mustaches yet ? Ahh the tragically hip and predictable hipsters do indeed suck.
    P.S. Hipster stay out of Astoria !

  22. Bravo! Best one yet.

    What do you think Tony and his pals would’ve done if they stumbled upon a hipster kickball game? My guess is a stomping by white platform shoes.

  23. You are freakin’ hilarious.

  24. I get everything on this site except the hate for bike lanes. So if you ride a bike, are you a hipster?

    • No. Based on what I’ve read on this site, the problem with hipsters and bike lanes is that they fuss up a storm about how they don’t have them, but as soon as the city implements them, the hipsters don’t use most of them. Instead of using the lanes, they’d much rather slow down traffic on streets that do not have them. The hipturds also think the rules of the road don’t apply to them.

      • Good to know. There are a lot of good organizations (BGI, TA) that lobby for bike lanes for non-hipsters which I use regularly, so I was worried I’d get a hipster beatdown. To be fair, I’m 6’1 200lbs, so I probably wouldn’t be mistaken for one.

        • There are a few people who bike on this site. Personally, it’s not my thing. The only bikes I’m interested in are those with a V-Twin engine.

  25. Someone help us in the Coachella Valley (Palm Springs area of Southern Cali)…They are invading every nuance of culture. Hall and Oates in concert was awesome, but we had to deal with small couplings of obnoxious hiptards who were probably not even born yet when Hall and Oates was hitting the airwaves..they prance around the aisles of the showroom like they own it, get in peoples way and and scream so loud you have to throw something at them…granted these are probably ‘desert local hipster-wannabees’ which we have a lot of here. They consist mostly of those in the hipster age range who never leave their precious desert cities, yet try very hard to infuse the hipster trend by acting as such…it’s still annoying…they try to act as if they know a band is cool way before their time. acting as if they discovered this sound. I’m sorry but “Private Eyes” was a cool song way before these fucktards even crawled from the womb..

  26. The best way to ruin their scene is to start showing up at it and either act very unkewl or if they show up at yours just scare the piss out of them. It’s not that hard to do. Talk like ‘a mobster’ or about how you are a member of the Illuminati or you’re forming a group that will force everyone below the age of 40 to use Straight Talk, drive a Camry, and serve 2 mandatory years in the military. They’ll run like you’ve got the plague.

  27. Oh my god. This is fantastic. Can anyone sing well in a high falsetto voice? This needs to happen.

  28. This is the best thing ever written.

  29. Move over, Weird Al Yankovic! Awesomely funny.

  30. “Can’t tell if I’m straight or gay”
    Awesome song, and even better than the original (I was never a Bee Gees fan), but I have to disagree with that line.
    Telling gay guys apart from hipsters is easy. Sure, gays may sometimes have a few things in common in terms of fashion tastes (i.e. slim-fit clothes, strong sense of personal style, etc.), and a small minority of hipsters are gay, but the resemblance is purely superficial because:
    a) Gay guys who make an effort to dress up generally (not always) get it right in terms of color coordination, finding the right clothes for their body and so forth, and it’s because we’re genuinely trying to look good. The truth is that it’s we, not hipsters, who set styles; hipsters just steal ideas from us, like they do from every other minority group, economic class below theirs and time period before this one, and then they make it look stupid.
    b) Gay guys generally practice good hygiene. This means we bathe regularly and wear deodorant and often cologne; when we have facial hair, we actually make sure it fits our overall appearance and make an effort to take care of it – we don’t wear it “ironically”
    c) Gay hipsters (gipsters?) generally go for the same nasty, unkempt look their straight counterparts do

  31. Went to a sneaker store in Midtown yesterday and as i opened the door “Staying Alive” was blaring on the radio, i almost peed myself!

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