There’s nothing more I’d like to do today than to find this pseudo circus clown hipster douche dad and simply ask him “Are you an attention-seeking, narcissistic, try-hard?” And the moment I saw his lips beginning to form the word ‘No’ I would just start pounding on him. Can you believe it? Even after having a child these try-hards are still out in full force doing their “LOOK AT ME” activities. What if he lost his balance, fell and banged his head on that mailbox and sent that baby rolling into the street? He would probably blame the city for a poorly maintained sidewalk, the manufacturers of the stroller and unicycle for selling defective products – but not blame himself for being an attention-starved kidult. Please God, banish these people from our once normal cities. Banish them!
Unicycling hipster pushing a stroller? Looks like a top contender for a card in Hipsters: The Card Game: http://www.robertlamirande.com/2012/09/hipsters-card-game.html
More like a top contender for the Darwin Awards. Shame his kid’s along for the ride.
Not really. Best to wipe out the whole line in one fell swoop.
Damn! It just ocurred to me – that’s not a stroller, it’s a murse with wheels. DRONE STRIKE!!!
This jerk-off places his own ego above the safety of his child.Nothing matters more to these television raised, socially crippled exhibitionists than being noticed by strangers, even if it’s negative attention at least the grown-ups are watching him being spontaneous. Just like he planned.
LET THE HATE FLOW THROUGH YOU, YOUNG HIPSTER BEATER!
SIdeshow Seth
In ye olde days, a spectacle like this would have been followed by tumbling clowns, jugglers, men on stilts and rockettes standing on elephants.
I surprised he’s not spinning the baby at the end of a stick like a f**cking plate while riding his ironi-cycle
What I wouldn’t give to see this on video while three drunken midgets taken him down and throw him a cruely-filled beating.
Brilliant picture!
“What if he lost his balance, fell and banged his head on that mailbox and sent that baby rolling into the street? He would probably blame the city for a poorly maintained sidewalk, the manufacturers of the stroller and unicycle for selling defective products..”
He’d probably be crying about how all unicycles should have TWO wheels.
Just wait till his linguini arm gets tired, he loses control of the carriage at top speed (he must be going fast if his fedora blew off already), and the baby rolls in front of a moving truck. His daddy’s lawyers will spend every cent they have to in order to ruin the life of the truck driver, and sue the company he works for until it is out of business.
now muppetmayor will have to install unilanes for these fucking motherfuckers!
One day the kid in that stroller is going to beat the shit out of this guy for stuff like this.
I don’t know about that. I think Junior will be weened on ironic hipster culture. The kid will wear used diapers gathered by his pretentious parents in an effort to minimize their carbon footprint and, of course, one-up the other hipster parents for adhering to their “beliefs.” His mom will unfurl her greasy teat at the most inopertune moment when hundreds of people are around and allow him to feed on her hipster milk, which will have lingering traces of PBR because, again for irony, she will drink right through her lactating phase (Hey, if Dad can push the carriage on a unicycle, why can’t she load up on shit beer and breastfeed her pup?). They’ll saddle the lad with the most horrific pretentious name they can agree on (something like Corneilius for a boy or, well, Corneilius for a girl). They’ll drag his smelly, filthy, crying ass through every fuckin’ beer garden and indie band concert being held in town at all fuckin’ hours of the night (you know, for culture and art). And eventually, the kid will grow up to be a sociopath of some kind that will shoot up his school because his parents never disciplined him or saved for his future.
That’s true for one-half of them: I’m currently seeing the adult kids of people who were heavily into science fiction fandom, and it’s like watching big cats that spent their entire lives in a wire cage. With the other half, Mom and Dad never hear from their kids, because the kids are too busy having lives.
Very sad for both groups. Good to know.
That’s the scariest thing I’ve heard all day.
Look at this corn hole from Bushwick. OWS has it’s own sil screener in Zuccotti park.
http://bushwickbk.com/2011/10/11/bushwick-diy-takes-wall-street/
“But while local origins may be of secondary importance, there’s been steady involvement from Bushwick residents in the past weeks, and something of the neighborhood is here.”
– Once again, complete mischaracterization of these people in the article (no surprise there). They are not ‘Bushwick residents’ as this article claims; they are douchebag tryhard adult infants from midwest suburbia playing ‘creative type’ in a kewl urban setting, and pricing people out of their homes, comfortable with the financial backing of their enabling parents.
Can you imagine someone who actually grew up in Bushwick having to listen to these Casper toned toilet brushes claim it?
And ‘local origins’ is probably the worst part of that writeup – how the hell is some fucking hayseed from Iowa of ‘local origin’? As soon as they have ‘Occupy the Suburbs of Des Moines’, then these bearded fucks can claim local origin all they want.
Yeah, I’d bet half of them flew in just for the party.
Oh, but don’t forget the best cliche of the article:
“We’ve been here since a week before the occupation even began,” Butler says. “CODEPINK was doing creative actions on Wall Street itself back when you could still walk over there.”
i.e. “Like, we were protesting before it was cool!”
That headline is totally misleading. Bushwick did not “take” Wall Street. That is a ploy for site hits.
Those ART ART ART frauds have everything handed to them: gentrified rent, overpriced artisinal food, all their iProducts, expensive DJ and camera equipment, sleeves of tatts, earlobe gauging, no need for employment, neverending private college liberal arts education, rooftop parties every night etc. all paid for by their parents. Looks like the “system” they hate is working pretty well for them. I fail to see why they’d want to change a thing.
The same weakness it’s always had…
“…this movement is built around known problems and unknown solutions.”
That’s it in a nutshell.
LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
This is especially funny to me because of the encounter I had recently (which I mentioned in the comments section of a post a week or two ago) with all the kids on the razor scooters making fun of the yup on the unicycle when I was walking my dog. Dude seriously nearly ran into a mailbox because he was craning his neck trying to catch me looking at him, which I fortunately did finally do right at the last minute as he pulled what was honestly the most amazing unicycle move I’ve ever seen (I haven’t seen many) to just miss the mailbox without falling off the curb into traffic. If these people were not riding unicycles so people would look at them then the dude I saw would have been able to watch where he was going instead of watching me in hopes that I was watching him.
If the yup I saw had been pushing a stroller I might have sent my dog after him. Because THAT would be something to see!
I like this logic. Employing an “ignore the hipster” policy usually works, but it should be broken for unicycles. If you watch the hipster peddling, he will notice you noticing and crane his neck so hard that he will crash into a heavy metal object… kersplat goes the hipster!
I know its bad to think like this, but I want to take a crowbar to his weak ass back. Faggot.
What’s missing is a kickball under his arm, a murse, iPhone ear buds in his ears and fairly traded artisinal coffee in his free hand. Although if you caught him on a different day he’d probably have all that with him.
The fact that this guy has a kid disgusts me since it means they are reproducing and that there are Mollys and Meghans willing to pump out these kids, and those kids are going to be so embarrassed for their parents.
Here’s a scary thought: this tool may not be a hipster but rather a disengaged, ignorant dope who is simply influenced by all the hipster try-hards he sees around him all the time.
This is how the kidults could be winning.
All the more reason to hate the shit out of them until they return to the midwest.
What annoys me is, even if he wasn’t on a unicycle, he would insist on walking BESIDE the stroller instead of BEHIND it, thereby taking up twice as much room on the sidewalk. WHY do they all do that? It really drives me nuts.
Residents in San Francisco have the same complaint: that hipster’s on their god damned stupid fixies have zero manners on their bikes. They tear down the sidewalks or coast and usually aren’t even watching where they’re going while they glance at their iCandy. Pedestrians on the sidewalk ( whom the sidewalk is made for, by the way ), are routinely forced to avoid and step aside from the Moron(s) On The Bike(s).
Myself, I would not hesitate to let them hit me and I would show their mommy and daddy a) what Karma actually is, b) that their kidults are not unstoppable and quite the opposite, when they are stopped it’s going to hurt, c) that I can afford a better lawyer than daddy can and may wind owning everything he and little Ehtan worked for if they put me in a bad mood with incessant rationalizations for their poor manners and finally d) the bike would be mine, and then some kids who could never dream of affording one.
Maybe that baby will get lucky and Mr.Uni-Daddy will fall and hit his head some other day, that results in his death. All kids need fathers, but not all kids need self-serving fathers. In fact, most do not.
Portland’s even worse: there, you get the fixie geeks tearing through downtown on the sidewalks, screaming at the peasants to move out of their way because they’re in a HURRY. Usually, in order to get to the coffee shop. The best part isn’t that the Portland police won’t bust them for riding illegally, because the mayor depends upon “the creative class” to keep his worthless ass in office. No, the best part is that if anyone dares comment on their own personal experiences with this behavior, you get thirty flunkies from Bike Portland who, much like the hipsters who try to deny that there’s such a thing as a hipster, scream “Well, I’VE never seen this, so you must be a liar.”
I’d like to buy one thousand marbles, please?
That’s overkill. One marble, one wrist rocket. Mission accomplished!
Caltrops, my friend. Caltrops.
My God! How could I forget caltrops? Kudos, Leroy, for archaic military knowledge!
How about Greek Fire or trench darts? A little history lesson in crowd control that should gain popularity up where the hiptards run free.
BITCH SLAP A HIPSTER FOR JEBUS!
To be fair, you have to give credit to my little brother. Before his successful career in the Army (he just retired as a full sergeant major), he was quite the suburban terrorist. A local asshole, who got his jollies out of picking on kids easily four or five years younger than he was, was noted for riding his brand new bike around the neighborhood, hitting kids with a yardstick or a length of rope, and his mother thought that his shit smelled like lilac. Confronting him directly meant that she threatened legal action for weeks for daring to speak ill of her pwecious snowflake, so my brother started making caltrops with roofing nails and hot-melt glue. Not only did they scatter really well in the dark, but once you ran over them, they didn’t leave a trace that they were anything other than roofing nails dropped off someone’s truck. Planting seeds, my friend. I’m just planting seeds.
And may they sprout and flourish! We had an early version of the helicopter mom in the mid-60s. Her twin sons were privlidged bullies who never had to pay the piper and if any of us hit back we faced juvie. But we had a secret weapon, a 16yr-old tough hillbilly girl
who love to fight boys. When they started any shit we’d sic Cindy on them and she’d tear them a new asshole! To report it they’d have had to admit that a girl beat them up.
Something to think about in re hipsters. Just planting seeds.
Isn’t there a law against people with horseshoe hairlines riding unicycles? Well, there should be.
If there were, there would go 90 percent of the hipster problem right there. Just make sure that the sentence is “being dropped off 100 miles due east of Long Island and told to ride their unicycles back.”
Dude, why not place them a few miles northwest instead: Drop them off on the Bruckner Interchange up in the Bronx and see how well they make it back to NueweBreukleyhhhn in once piece on that thing….
I used to think that, and then I started watching them take over Detroit. Not that the Bronx can’t clean up messes like that in proper fashion.
I think he would be quite attractive to some currently incarcerated felons.
ha!
That’s why I’m pretty sure he’s speeding along and his fedora flew off. There’s no fucking way these kidults can accept losing hair, and even less chance that they would let the rest of the Calebs see it too. I’m sure a good % of the wool hat/fedora crowd of 30 and 40 something infants are covering up the baldness.
I mean just accepting it and going on with your life would be something an adult would do.
If they don’t try to hide it, then they go out of their way to shave off everything in edgy and unique ways. When I was working for weekly newspapers back in the Nineties, two-thirds of the people there were younger than I was, and they all, male and female, had problems with pattern baldness. I’m now convinced it was due to the amount of bad coke they were snorting to pretend they were productive.
I’m starting to gather that the purpose of the toboggins/knitty hats/whatever is that it’s like people who use hoodies to smoke dope. It keeps the stink off them. Hair has a tendency to absorb smoke stink. I know, because I smoke cigs and that’s is one of the many downsides to smoking but a price I’ve weighed and accept. So, there’s that possible reason.
The other is that they so love their hair – have you ever seen ANY hipster who wasn’t virtually FIXATED on it? – they are ‘treating’ their scalps and hair with coconut oil or macedamia nut oil. Maybe it’s a combination of both…keep the smell of weed off and condition their hair.
Another possiblity…it’s a flag for being identified by other hipsters who may have some interesting thing going on they could all participate in…cough…another may be, and could be mixed in with the previous ones, that after days of partying they are just too far from a shower and now far too fatigued to bother washing their hair.
BTW, people with tattoos ought to know this…NYC law enforcement has plans to start taking more than mug shots on booking, but also any shots of scars and tattoos which will be submitted to the FBI’s criminal database, accessible by just about every county and state LE’s. Border control and most other cities will be following suit. ‘Intelligence/data collection’ systems are really quite hot topics of interest. Biometrics have been used heavily during conflicts in the middle east fairly successfully (quick capture platforms, including using DNA, by IED teams etc ) so you can be sure that LE is going to consume these types of technologies quickly.
But, given hipsters enjoy attention being paid to their tattoos I’m sure they won’t mind cops taking pictures of them.
I have a horseshoe hairline and am not allowed to ride unicycles in the state California. Its part of the contract when losing one’s hair to not be allowed any sort of whimsical bike. You are so smart….sucking a big cock in your honor right now…totally.
When you lose your hair, you’re supposed to buy a Lamborghini, not a fucking unicycle.
LOL So hair loss has the default behavior of paying too much money for a POS you can never fully utilize rofl….that’s funny, but sadly probably true. I can remember hearing a young gal say one time in regards to old guys compensating…:”Seeing an old fart in a car like that is just a waste of car.” lol
I wonder if he’s a single dad. What mother with a lick of maternal instinct is going to ignore some idiot saying,”I’m gonna grab my uni and take the baby for a stroll. See ya honey!”?
I guess walking now is ‘too mainstream’ lol
Hopefully a block later Little Caleb got so annoyed at “dad” he rifled his bottle right at his nuts knocking him headfirst into traffic.
Massive meteor strike. Needed. Now.
You don’t even know that there’s an actual baby in there. He may have “repurposed” an old carraige and now uses it to transport his cruelty free, rooftop grown, rat shit laden food from Zooeys Food for Fauxhemians to his 400 sf $2500 a month studio in the shwick.
I would have pounded him WITH HIS OWN FUCKING UNICYCLE.
Carry ten inch gutter nails. When a unitard (yuk yuk) cycles by, stoop and insert through the spokes. Hours of family entertainment!
On related notes, does this sound familiar?
“A maiden will be delivered – probably from the east” – there it is, he’s waiting for his quirky Asian girlfriend accessory.
What would Arty have to say about this unicycling attention seeking douchebag?
You know if a Puerto Rican was doing this he would be considered an unfit parent, if an African American was doing was doing this it would be child endangerment, if a Haitian was doing this they would be considered incapable of adjusting to a civilized country. Hope the little wretch in the carriage developes an organic coffee and soy milk intolerance and has to drink Strawberry and Chocolate Yoo Hoo for the rest of it’s life.
LOL Good point. Now that would be funny if the baby actually started needing lots of nabs, french fries, pastrami, and salt and fat in its cheapest forms. Oh the shame for the hipster parents when their twee pals come over to play video games and the only things laid out to snack on are processed foods.
“Oh nye gawwwnnd….hown kuhn yewww eeet theeus stunfff? Ints sewww bahhd ferrrn yewwwww.”
If this jack off did not have a baby with him the back of his neck would have been the perfect target for a tall cup of screaming hot un-fairly traded coffee out my car window.
If you look closely at the left side of this cat’s head, is that a telephonic device there? Some sort of clunky artisinal iPhone case? His left arm is unaccounted for, and it looks like his slackjaw might be open. He’s mumbling back to Wiscohuky, “Ya, So I’m uniing with my son Braille now…ya, he’s so, like, into it.”
Another possibility is that he is vocally live-blogging. You never know.
Play, play, play,play, all day, all day, play, play…
Someone with video skills could recreate this with an ejection seat unicycle launching this half-wit into the stratosphere.
I’m not sure which prospect is worse:
1) He’s a dad.
2) He’s a manny.
I’m not a father (thank god) but as a young adult even I have to admit that for someone who is a father, and decides to goof around on a one wheeled unicycle with a baby pram, this is really sad and stupid.
For fucks sake man, you are a FATHER. GROW UP and start acting like one and be a responsible adult and not go around the streets like this. Just by looking at this picture and seeing this idiot on the street on that one wheeled unicyle or whatever the fuck it is, one could probably tell he is unemployed or not working full time. Fuck sakes man the last thing one could ever want while being unemployed is a baby. I mean honestly, what kind of example are you showing to your child, dressing up like a 15 year old idiot with no socks on and riding a weird thing like that and not working?
Seriously, our society is fucked up and is going to become even more fucked in the future. Get a job man, any job! Learn to be productive!
He would argue that he’s ‘unemployed’. Between his wife’s Etsy online store where she sells her unique period blood-in-vile necklaces, their weekend flea market table, his free lance blog art and music reviews, and of course their monthly gentrification allowance from home – they do OK. Now stop being jealous and leave them alone – there is no such thing as hipsters.
Like yah, let’s dump toxic chemicals into a swimming pool and charge dopey hipsters to go into it….
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/glowing_water_poison_pool_suit_zHVutYGEXayhBy7rkjOyjK
Those weren’t hipsters or a hipster party.
German Anti-Hipster Video:
http://vimeo.com/16116523
I’m a newbie at this, has anyone posted the “I’m a Dickhead” video? I found the link at the end of the comments section of the site mentioned by Boston Mike above and loled my balls off!
I just posted it in the “Gentri-Fucking-cation” thread.
Thank you, Eduardo! Yet another Diehipster regular using his valuable time to help out and keep me up to date. The cooperation of the rank and file is truly inspiring. All ages, races, political parties, religions united in a common cause. It’s a level of true diversity that hipturds aspire to in lip service and never attain in reality. I’m proud to be part of it.
THANK YOU, DH! Endeavor to persevere! Then declare war on the union!
This is funny. I like the part where he says hipsters go online and complain his neighborhood pub doesn’t meet “international Starbucks service level standards.” Typical arrogant attitude.
From the comments:
“The basic thesis of this video is a good one: the so-called creative class are often the least communal of immigrants. As such we ought to face the community we live within, make efforts to become enough a part of it that we give a little something back from time to time. In Neukölln this starts by learning the language and perhaps enough Turk to say “Hi” and “thanks”, making efforts to get to know the neighbours, buying from the locals, investing in their continued way of life.”
If only Brooklyn hipsters had this much sense.
Are you fucking kidding me? Where was this photo taken, so I can be sure never to travel there?
I don’t always agree with everything I read here, but in regards to this picture all I can say is: What an asshole.
I mean seriously this should be an issue for child protective services.
What a fucking douche
“Winner! Of the September 2012 “LOOK AT ME” Award.”
Second place has got to go this shot.
http://diehipster.wordpress.com/2012/06/17/unseasonable-headwear-sighting/
NYT, on the cutting edge of the Hipster Beat, is at it again. Dateline: Portland:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/18/technology/success-of-crowdfunding-puts-pressure-on-entrepreneurs.html
Pressure to do what? Create/market something that’s not a total pice of shit or complete waste of time?
Ugh. Guess there’s only so much money to go around once the six-month shelf-life of the latest artisal, decorative free-range sugar cupcake shop expires.
It’s closer to that than you know:
http://portlandtribune.com/pt-rss/9-news/115042-pretirements-new-frontier
What amazes me isn’t that Portland continues to sell the idea that it’s somehow going to turn into an economic powerhouse by attracting every last unemployable beardo to town, because somehow having lots of “creative class” jackasses means having lots of economic opportunities. Oh, sure, it’s a great way to make money…if you run an Urban Outfitters or a hydroponics store.
Seriously, guys, pay attention to the dickweed at the beginning of this article, because I know how his story goes, and you’ll be buried with chickenfuckers like him before long. They’ll take “pretirement” in fits and jumps, and that lasts until they get ill, sick, or just plain old. About the time they turn 40, they discover that nobody really wants to put up with the flakes any more, and the jobs dry up when employers find fresh college grads willing to work for a third of the salary, and who don’t walk off every six months. At that point, there’s a fine line between “involuntary retirement” and “homelessness”, and that line only exists so long as Mom and Dad keep sending money back to keep them going. (Oh, and read the comments at the end. For every person noting that this sort of lifestyle is unsustainable, and it’s not an economic engine, you have eight newbie hipsters chirping “Wow! This is the life for me!” or whining defensively about how it won’t happen to them.)
What are they thinking?
Reminds me of a former acquaintance in the Bay Area about 2 decades ago who lived to travel globally. He was an electronic engineer who specialized in designing security systems, and he hated working for others becuase he couldn’t get enough time off his job to go to, say, Tierra del Fuego – seriously.
He got this brilliant idea that if he opened his own engineering firm he could design systems for clients until he got enough money together, and then he could travel for six months or so, picking up upon his return where he left off. It really worked quite well for a while. He was really good at what he did, so he developed a decent client base over a couple of years and was keeping very busy – until he and his girlfriend decided to pack it up and go trekking in the Himalayas and India for 6 or 7 months straight.
When he got back, he 1) needed to address the concepts of employment discipline and motivation, a couple of things that had been missing from his life for quite a while, 2) needed to take crash courses regarding all of the new technical developments in his field that had gone down while he was away (this was the early 90s and things were changing fast), and 3) start building a new client base FROM SCRATCH – he had some decent clients who had multiple property developments going on, and when he wasn’t there to answer their phone calls, they called someone else.
He went through the cycle once or twice more, then grew out of his “pretirement” phase. Once he realized that if he really wanted to reap the benefits of his knowledge, experience and skills in the future he was going to have to put the hard time into his career “now” and wait to play until later, and his new-found dedication served him well. He’ll probably be retiring at 60 in a couple of years, and over the past couple of decades has built an engineering firm that’ll be worth something to somebody who’s looking for a turn-key operation when he finally decides to bow out.
I find it interesting that the article was apparently an excuse to go out to the XOXO Festival. Now there’s a venue that could use a good fumigation to get rid of the lice and bugs after it’s finished.
Articles like that are a good beginning at analyzing a shift in socio-economics, but I think they miss at the issue of what’s ‘under the hood’, so to speak, in regards to deeper motivations. Some hipster saying that they want a better quality of life and don’t have traditional amibtions is just reporting on the symptoms of the causes, not the causes themselves. There’s a failure to admit that much of the mindset is not new so much as multiplied and likely rooted in witnessing the fallout of the traditional American Dream.
As an aside, I heard an English comedian crack once,”Ah, the American Dream. Do you know why us Brits don’t have a dream? Because we’re AWAKE!”
Anyway, the ‘eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die’ idea is lurking in all this somewhere. The depth of cynacism and the idea that a traditional work ethic is ‘illusory’ and not applicable to the world’s economy now will have, at least, the impacts on civic services that one of the economists mentioned. I think there’s a real suspicon on this crowds part of even the idea of money being out dated and ‘bad’ in some way. Look at some of the things that fans of guys like Alex Jones say. Talk about going down the rabbit hole…
Great photo. I’m surprised the carriage isn’t a one-wheeled uni-buggy. Glad he’s not my father. Poor kid.
My BF is in the Navy, and sometimes when he’s home he rides his unicycle up and down the street. AND his name is Josh. I’m so ashamed.