Gentri-Fucking-Cation by The Red Beard Pickled Peppers

New category – Songs. I think Weird Al would approve. Lyrics begin at 00:20 on this one. Enjoy and sing along.

Gentri-fucking-cation – The Red Beard Pickled Peppers

Pseudos from Ohio
Try to make it all caucasian
IKEA chairs from Sweden
Coffee from fair trade plantations
And if you want these kind of things
It’s Gentri-fucking-cation

It’s the edge of the ‘Burg
And the frontier of homogenization
Caleb and Megan don’t eat meat
They represent pussification
It’s understood that Nieuw Breukelen
Sells Gentri-fucking-cation

Pay your children very well
To take apartments from the aging
A hipster’s skin is very thin
Real Brooklynites are raging
A latte and a scone
And four i-Phones

Dream of Gentri-fucking-cation
Dream of Gentri-fucking-cation

Mollys a girl with rooftop corn in her turd
All expense paid Brooklyn playcation
A teenager inside turning 33 tonight
Gonna gentrify this whole nation
A loft in the sky in up and coming Bed-Stuy
It’s Gentri-fucking-cation

Queens may be the final frontier
Two thousand for a roach filled basement
Colby can you hear the L?
Pushed on the tracks at Bedford Ave station
Union Square’s three stops away
It’s Gentri-fucking-cation

Born and raised in flyover states
infest our population
Every hipster looks the same
Enjoying their staycations

A rich hobo
A fish taco

Dream of Gentri-fucking-cation
Dream of Gentri-fucking-cation

(solo)

Construction of a new condo
Full of brats on medication
An earthquake wouldn’t be so bad
If it stops the sterilization
A tidal wave has hit Brooklyn
It’s Gentri-fucking-cation

Tip your barista very well
Hit the Gowanus for some sailing
You love to infest, now head back West
Have you ever heard of bathing?

Your Converse are worn
Children of the corn

Dream of Gentri-fucking-cation
Dream of Gentri-fucking-cation

49 thoughts on “Gentri-Fucking-Cation by The Red Beard Pickled Peppers

  1. i don’t care much for the band name but wow, talk about dead-on lyrics…soon there will be portlandia, silver lake, and austin versions lol

    matthew can only ever DREAM of being THIS GOOD

    and there’s a reason why performers like this get a stage, and humbo’s like matthew don’t

    i have little doubt that guys like matthew will never figure out why and, instead,
    will simply tell themselves no one ‘gets’ their art and people are unfair meanies…

  2. I am continually impressed with the creativity of posts on diehipster– the lyrics are outstanding!

  3. First time, long time; Great weekend starter.

    • “Brooklynization”?! By this description, it sounds more like he means “hipsterization” or “over-modernization”.

    • That shit just gave me a headache trying to get through it. Ugggh!

    • On July 5, 1997, my band El Guapo played a show in Danville, Va. This was our first show as a touring band—the first time we would play an unfamiliar city and sleep somewhere other than one of our parents’ houses. I was 20 years old.

      Well, nice way to establish your badass suburban cred in the first paragraph.
      (I got a few more paragraphs in and gave up. God, what a naval-gazing loser with delusions of grandeur. Face it, nobody cares about your stupid band and get a job already. Yes, the world sucks outside mommy’s house – get used to it.)

    • Look at this disgusting admission…
      ” Even today, I can reject what’s useless and steal what’s worthwhile.”

      Must be part of the ‘all great art is theft’ crowd. Wowzers. What an amazing mind and talent! What insight! Can he really do that? He can reject and steal and then praise himself for it? Quick! Somebody give this guy all kinds of creative power and money for surely he will right the world of music and blaze untrampeled trails!

      Another wannabe stumbling around in the dark and instead of admitting they’re stumbling at ARTARTART, they insist they’re being original. Uh huh. Sure dude.

      MOST great art is NOT theft. Influence is not theft. Stealing IS theft. To admit to it is to say,”I have no actual talent or skills of my own. So, I see some other musician with real chops and kinda watch and then either reject what they’re doing or copy it. And then everyone shall see my brilliance!” What a rube this guy is. He’s just so typical of an individual who doesn’t see how immensely crowded his path is with ten thousand others just like himself also stealing from each other. No, he’s unique you see. He’s an edgy visionary with decades of experience and wisdom to blog about. ROFLMAO!!!!

      I couldn’t get through reading all that stuff he wrote probably anymore than he could get through what I’m writing here. But I can’t help but wonder how many wiser people in his life tried to warn him only to hear him insist if anyone could fly from the edge of the cliff, it would be him. Then he finds out that falling hurts and decides to turn his idiocy into a monument to himself and ART ART ART ART ART ART ART!!!

  4. Awesome! Perfect

  5. Wow just Wow DH. You never cease to impress. Encore encore!!!

  6. EXCELLENT!!!!!

  7. Bravo! This line was great:

    Mollys a girl with rooftop corn in her turd

    And this one:

    You love to infest, now head back West
    Have you ever heard of bathing?

    • This song is gonna be stuck in my head all night. I need to teach my regulars the lyrics so we can do a sing along if any hiptards come exploring below the line! Hahaha.

  8. Great job. You took one of my favourite songs and gave it a whole new dimension.

    Since it’s a problem on both sides of the Atlantic, here’s an English folk parody, based on the work of Richard Thompson: a man with a beard, a beret, and more than enough talent to wear both of them.

    Said Weird Molly to Josh, “That’s a fine fixie bike.
    A girl could feel zany on any such like.”
    Said Josh to Weird Molly, “Well, my hat’s off to you.
    It’s a French penny farthing, 1892.
    And you’ve seen me at the organic cafes, it seems.
    Red beard and black eye frames, your favourite colour scheme.”
    And he pulled her on behind
    And down through Shoreditch they did ride.

    Said Josh, “Don’t be fooled by my whiny indie band.
    For an omega male, I’m a dangerous man.
    I’ve fought with the normals since I was 17,
    Displaced many a man to ride my fixie machine.
    Now I’m 41 years, I might make 42,
    And I don’t want to grow up, but for the love of you.
    And if real life breaks my stride,
    I’ll give you my fixie to ride.”

    “Come down, come down, Weird Molly,” called Sergeant McRae,
    “Josh Redbeard, he met the Hipster Beater today.
    Cricket bat hit his skull, found nothing inside.
    Come down, Weird Molly, to his dying bedside.”
    When she came to the hospital, there wasn’t much left.
    His MacBook was in pieces, he was running out of breath.
    But he smiled to see her cry,
    Said, “I’ll give you my fixie to ride.”

    Said Josh, “Now I’ve learned, there’s no reason in the world,
    For a man to make foam art and wear jeans made for girls.
    No, bedbugs and bee swarms and high rents won’t do.
    They don’t help real Londoners warm to me and you.”
    He took off his glasses and scarf full of fleas.
    Said, “I’ve got no further use for these.
    I see parents with trust funds and villas in Rome
    Swooping in from Guildford to carry me home.”
    Then he coughed up one last fit and died.
    And he gave her his fixie to ride.

  9. “It’s the new gadget, it’s being the first one that owns the phone, to be able to play around with it and see what it offers, and be able to show it off to your friends and families,” Brown said.

    At least until the next iPhone comes out.

    Go into the mac store and ask them about “planned obsolescence” and what they think will happen to your $2,600 purchase in 5 years time. They get so nervous and shut you down.

  10. Haha this is brilliant!

  11. Abso fucking lutely brilliant!!

  12. Not a fan of the Chilis, but they are a hard-working touring band that can actually play their instruments (this puts them ahead of 95% of the try-hards featured on this site).

    Regardless, someone somewhere has to put a stop to the ukulele madness.

  13. Love it…What makes it especially funny is that “californication” was a term originally coined by people in the Northwest who were tired of Californians moving in and trying to make it like their home state.

    • We had it in Montana in the mid-70s – popular bumpersticker of the time was “Don’t Californicate Montana.”

      Another popular one was “I’d Rather Have A Sister In A Whorehouse Than A Brother In The Oil Patch.” And to think, Willison was boomin’ back then, too. It took 35 years to get all the environmental damage tidied up the best as could be done, then Frack-Fest comes along to put the place on its ear again. What Williston needs is a Hipster Revival to make it a majikal place again – the try-hards could all head over to the Rosebud rez, learn to Ghost Dance, and go the way of the buffalo.

      • “What Williston needs is a Hipster Revival to make it a majikal place again – the try-hards could all head over to the Rosebud rez, learn to Ghost Dance, and go the way of the buffalo.” I like that idea. Wasn’t the Cavalry authorized to shoot Ghost Dancers on sight, no warning needed?

        • Yeah, which is unfortunate because the Ghost Dance movement was a pretty cool thing, too. But in this day and age, I know more than a few Native Americans who wouldn’t be terribly pleased about a bunch of white people from suburbia moving in and appropriating their traditions.

        • Yup, shoot on sight. The Ghost Dance was started by Wovoka, a mystic shaman who claimed to be the reincarnation of Jebus. It was based on his interpretation of the Rapture, the faithful would dance, rise above the earth and the white-eyes would be destroyed below leaving the earth to the rightful people.
          Back in the 70s the Mormons put up a display on Fountain Square about Wovoka citing his reincarnation claim as proof of their dogma, conveniently omitting the destruction of the white race. When I informed them about it they waffled and disputed most comically. Then I asked about the Mountain Meadows Massacre where Mormons slaughtered about 200 Arkansas pilgrims and blamed it on the Native Americans, they all stopped talking to me. Touchy bunch.

  14. SPOT ON

  15. Brilliant.

    • The first part of their post says that they are “Brooklyn Based”

      The second part says:
      “Leisurely’s music has a vintage, organic sound to it. It is a shame that we can only hear it on CD or via MP3 formats”

      Doubt I needed to even see the video of these disgusting hipsters to know exactly what these transplant pretenders looked like.

      • LOLWTF? “Vintage, organic sound”? Damn, talk about cliches and bordering on self-parody. This shit literally writes itself.

        I’ve heard possibly thousands of hipster bands/musicians over the last few years and to date I’ve only heard one song (a derivative synthpop/new wave song) that I like from a band that are most likely (99.9%) hipsters. That doesn’t say much (in terms of positive things) for a subculture.

    • Oh no.that girl ‘singing’ is suffering from withdrawals..they need money for their black tar heroin..just look at her…love that overpriced loft they are sitting in…this is a friggin joke…get rid of these people already!! banish them from our cities!

    • Is that a dildo that the Meghan is playing with???

    • The too-lazy-to-bathe beardo in the beginning is scratching the bedbug bites on his head.

  16. Lyrics
    Got on the train From Cambridgeshire
    Moved down to an East London flat
    Got a mustache And a low cut vest
    Some purple leggings and a sailor tat
    Just one gear on my fixie bike
    Got a +1 here for my gig tonight
    I play synth, we all play synth!
    20/20 vision, just a pair of empty frames
    Dressing like a nerd though I never got the grades
    I remember when the kids at school would call me names
    Now we’re taking over their estates*

    Well, I love my life as a dickhead
    All my friends are dickheads too
    Come with me, let’s be dickheads
    Haven’t you heard? Being a dickhead is cool
    Being a dickhead’s cool
    Being a dickhead’s cool

    Polaroid app in my iPhone, Taking pictures on London Fields
    Up on the blog so everyone knows
    We’re having New Age fun with a vintage feel
    Coolest kids in a warehouse space
    Exclusive list. Look, there’s my name
    I got in, you couldn’t get in
    Never bought a pack of fags, I only roll my own
    Plugging in my laptop at the Starbucks down the road
    Say I work in media, I’m really on the dole
    I’m the coolest guy you’ll ever know

    Well, I love my life as a dickhead
    All my friends are dickheads too
    Come with me, let’s be dickheads
    Haven’t you heard? Being a dickhead is cool
    Being a dickhead’s cool
    Being a dickhead’s cool

    Loafers with no socks
    Electropop meets Southern Hiphop
    Indeterminate sexual preference
    Something retro on my necklace

    *UK housing development

  17. I’ve been gone too long!

    Damn it I think I made my first song spoof a while back on here with my hipsterified version of “Don’t Stand So Close to Me”. I’ve been meaning to write a spoof of “Nothing But A G Thing” and turn it into “Waiting On The G Train” but there’s a lot of lyrics. One of these days I will get it done. (Been busy with work, a new BF, and school, but I plan on contributing here, the BF hates hipsters also!!)

Comments are closed.