The other day I posted a story from Portland, OR where what witnesses could only describe as a “hipster” (even though there are claims that there is no such thing as a hipster) robbed a bank; probably out of desperation because his parental subsidization has ceased.
Well now, in Canada, an even more pathetic attempt to steal money from the public. This vapid beardo, Kristopher with a K, wearing his “look at me” Cap’n Crunch hat and pubic beard lied and said he had cancer to get donations totaling around $10,000. On the bright side, he was most likely defrauding other hipster fauxhemians like himself which doesn’t bother me as much as his overall motive. I think we’ll be hearing more and more stories like this in the near future; more and more hipsters are not going to be able to maintain their expensive lifestyles as parental support dissipates, as trust funds dry up, and as credit lines get maxed out. When your rent is $2000; your monthly coffee expenses are $500; your organic diet is $1000 a month; your drug, booze, wardrobe and art expenses are another couple of thousand and you work as a barista, part-time curator, assistant roof top veggie farmer, graphics design intern or bike lane advocate – you wont be able to survive and will probably do something pathetic like Kristopher. I can’t take these mother fuckers any more.