Over the last year or so, the NY Times discovered Brooklyn. Now almost every day you can find articles giving credit to recently arrived, bearded kidults of the corn for opening quirky and unheard of businesses like clothing stores, butcher shops, food trucks, bicycle stores, and bars - businesses that were never here before - and culturally blessing this bland borough of Brooklyn; a borough mistakenly thought to have truly vibrant cultures from around the world – tee hee hee, what a funny joke.
Now – as you’ll see in this video – NBC sends a reporter into :::♫♪♫cue ceremonial horns please♫♪♫::: WILLIAMSBURG, BROOKLYN!!!. Let’s see what they discovered, shall we?
First she stops in to this very odd place called a bowling alley that Brooklyn has never seen until the invasion of creative types. On any given night here, you’ll be able to rub shoulders with the borough’s most talented kickballers, fingerpainters and baristas while chugging over-priced microbrews poured by over-tattooed urban mixologists. It’s a place where nobody knows your name and everybody looks the same. ***Please note: Bowling balls in the establishment only come in 6 – 8 lbs due to the Nancy Reagan-physiqued beta-male clientele. If you wish to knock down all the pins in one shot, we suggest you bring your own 16lb bowling ball.***
Next the reporter goes clothes shopping in a store with unbelievable deals! For instance, the first blouse she picks up is reduced from $275 to $80!!! SCORE! Who needs to go to Macy’s and get three blouses or shirts for that price when you can buy one that was sewn by a latte-slurping Pippy Longstocking stunt-double who sews for 2 hours a day in her $3000 a month loft and bike rides for 6 hours a day with a basket full of organic rooftop veggies around the “nabe”?
Finally, I never thought I would hear anybody say the words “fish” and “movie theater” in the same breath – but this reporter did. Ahh yes, how appetizing – eating fish tacos in a dark, smelly theater that’s probably crawling with bedbugs. Hey, at least you get to see a quality ”indie flick” filmed by 3 guys named Josh, Josh, and Caleb; one writes the script over a 2 year period on his trusty Mommy-bought Macbook in 9 different coffee shops; one films everything with his Daddy-bought camera equipment; the other one rolls cigarettes, has a zany bed-head haircut and gives himself the title of Producer/Director and finds kewl urban streets in the East Village and Bushwick full of Bloomberg-era grit.
Mommy-bought Macbook or vintage typewriter? Inquiring minds want to know.
As for fish and movies, the last time I heard those terms said together was in a Dr. Demento song:
I took a fish head out to see a movie,
Didn’t have to pay to get it in.
Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads
Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up
Yumm!
Two words: carbon paper. Tough to get more retro than that.
I’ll bet Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton bowled at that trendy alley while enjoying quadruple-hopped craft IPA’s served by “urban mixologists” with tatoo’s of angel hair pasta on their arms (you see, that’s the only tatoo that their arms can accommodate.).
What a sickening piece. The report is clearly aimed at the very same backwash that already is contaminating the borough. I can picture Bloomberg smiling with satisfaction as he watches this. Nobody brown in that frame, thank God! No ethnic accents in the background. Let’s sterilize the Bronx next!
What a novelty eating a fish taco during a goddamn movie is! You see, the people who that impresses are the same pigeons who go to a Major League Baseball game and walk around with a shopping bag on their elbows while eating a soft serve that they just paid $8 bucks for. God forbid they watch the fuckin” game.
The only redeeming feature of this report is that the reporter is hot…for an imbecile.
you have outdone yourself in Bitter sarcasm and sheer Bile!!!!Outstanding!!!
they have their sights on (thru their Wayfarers) and are rapidly overtaking,,Rockaway….
Oh God, the Rockaways! You can still save the area by killing a few and tweeting pictures of the mangled stick figured trolls and telling them to stay out, go to the city!
Or, just make sure a lot of people that aren’t zany are hanging around. Even better, encourage the non-zany people to sit as close to hipsters as they possibly can. Reverse invasion.
I can’t quite place the Meghan reporter’s accent (or lack thereof): Colorado? Nebraska? Oklahoma? Illinois? Missouri? So very NYC…
And what kind of high school has a fucking BOWLING TEAM, fer God’s sake?
I dont care where she’s from – she’s an acceptable, good looking transplant who’s got a decent reporting job for NBC and just doing her job. It’s probably just where her Brooklyn bandwagon producers sent her.
We had bowling as a gym class and actually went to a bowling alley once week – it wasn’t a team though.
“…bowling as a gym class” – times sure have changed.
LOL!! Can you imagine these guys trying to climb a rope or handle the parallel bars?
They ARE the parallel bars!
We went bowling for gym about once a month or so – to the 6-lane 1st-Generation Brunswick Automatic alley across the road from my Jr. High. ‘Course this was in ’67-’68 and there was nothing ironic about bowling back then – just a lot of fun.
I’m getting on a little late – had an awful lot on my plate today. I’d better scroll on down & see who Special Edd & Matt the Splatt are masquerading as today.
I had friends in NYC high schools who had bowling gym classes in the 80s. Not the norm,
but out there.
Bowling has been a varsity sport at New York City public high schools for decades!
http://www.psal.org/sports/sport.aspx?spCode=007&flag=All
I went to school when dinosaurs walked the streets of New York…
Kewl! Did they drink coffee-for-people-that-don’t-really-like-coffee and wear ironic clothes?
But were they hipster dinosaurs?
http://www.buzzfeed.com/ihatedinosaurs/hipster-dinosaurs-ppz
She sounds like she’s from California.
I woulda thought if you wanted to show off some hip and happening places, you would at least film while they were open and had a few customers!
That’s exactly what I was thinking, every place seemed strangely empty. She seemed like a pretty normal chick so she probably went around 10am to make sure she wouldn’t have to rub shoulders with any of the smelly beardos. We all know they don’t wake up before noon.
I agree. She did not want to be around a lemming herd of nasal honking shitbags. These pussy red-beards only feel comfortable being around frumpy, snotty, vomit-stenched, green-blotched tattooed cankleskanks… they would probably piss their sister’s jeans around a real woman.
“they would probably piss their sister’s jeans around a real woman.”
Of course they would. Who do you think was one of their main tormentors back in their hometowns? When they see a woman like the one in the video, they often see the girl that used to point and laugh at them back in their home town. In some cases, that very same girl kicked their asses. Hipsters would like to get with a real woman, but they do know their limits (they just won’t admit it). They aren’t stuck with Meghan by choice. Why do you think they willfully and enthusiastically parted ways with their money and self-respect (what little they had) when a plain Jane Asian broad like “hipster grifter” gave them a little attention?
LMAO
Lol! Well done!
Ha Ha! Looks like the Meghans and Caitlins don’t want the Calebs and Colbys after all.
http://www.boldsky.com/relationship/love-and-romance/2012/feminist-men-types-030384.html
5 Reasons To Beware Of Feminist Men
Usually men shriek at the mention of the word ‘feminism’. Being involved with a feminist is probably a man’s worst nightmare. Thus, men who are feminists themselves are a rare commodity. However, despite being something of a novelty, such type of men do not find much favour with women. In fact, most women hate men who claim to withhold feminist ideologies.
There are a number of reasons for this contradiction. Here are some of the reasons for which women prefer to stay away from feminist men.
Reasons To Beware Of Feminist Men:
1. Against Their Nature: Wouldn’t it strike you as strange if a tiger suddenly turned vegetarian? This is because it is against their basic nature. In the same way, feminism is against the basic nature of men and that is why women hate men who claim to be upholders of women’s rights.
2. Traitors To Their Own Cause: The types of men who start calling themselves feminists are seen as ‘traitors’ among men folk. Generally, men despise male feminists much more than they despise female feminists. How do you trust someone who has betrayed their own kind? If they have betrayed their own gender that is men, they might as well betray you.
3. No Chivalry: Usually men who believes in the rights of women lack chivalry. They treat women as equal, but not better than men. So when you are an equal, he doesn’t have to hold the door for you or pay your bill. Just like Atheists have no holidays, feminists have no concessions for being women. That is why legendary actress, Marilyn Monroe once said, “Women who want to be equal with men lack ambition.”
4. More Liberation Than We Need: When a man turns feminist, he becomes much more radical than the most rabid feminist. They start preaching for much more liberation than women want or need. Now, we may believe in our right to not wear bras as it is a symbol of oppression and gender stereotyping; but do we really want men to be burning bras on the street for our cause?
5. Women Like Bad Boys: No matter how technically correct feminist men are, women hardly ever get attracted to such men. Women have this sinister quality to get attracted to all the ‘wrong’ kinds of men. The mythical ‘bad boy’ who is a woman beater and a chauvinist still reigns supreme in the fantasies of women. Put it simply, women are a bit masochistic from within. That is why it is not unnatural to see beautiful, confident and successful women seek out potentially abusive relationships.
All in all, feminist men are not bad, but they are too good to be true. Would you like to date a man who calls himself a feminist?
I’ve been telling this to self-proclaimed “male feminists” for years. There are some people who don’t want to accept the fact that you simply cannot undo what has been hard-coded into human (actually, mammalian) DNA for millions of years, with 3 or decades of feminist ideology and social engineering. There may be some minor success with the engineering attempts (like hipturds) but nature always wins out.
Feminists don’t and never will scare me enough to buy into all that. In fact, you’re giving them more credit than really necessary.
There’s an inverse of a feminist though I don’t think it’s a sexist because both men and women can be sexist if by ‘sexist’ we mean ‘thinks in stereotypes of the other gender that promotes negative behaviors. And that’s the pseudo-feminist, which is what I think a lot of hipsters are. They aren’t even really true liberals half of them. So for example, you get some guy who says,”Oh, I totally support a womans right to choose.” when what they REALLY mean is,”I want to be sexually promiscuous/irresponsible and not have to care for any life I create.” They don’t actually give a damn about a woman having an equal individual autonomy as a man, but they’re going to pretend they do because it increases the odds of having sex. Now if you put it to them like that, they’ll protest to the point you’d think they’ll even go as far as to say they don’t have a ‘primitive’ sex drive. Horseshit.
They’re also the ones who are ‘for’ things, but when an older woman is banging a younger guy, they cry like little babies as if it actually impacts them. Now try to explain to these ‘naturalists’ that it’s actually biologically viable for both a younger man and older woman to be in a sexual relationship and wasn’t any particular problem among humans until a few hundred years into Western expansion, A.D. Suddenly, science and nature become a real drag, mannnn…LOL
Feminism is simply the belief that women are equal to men, and that all people should be treated equally regardless of our genitals. This is good for men too, so it’s not such a stretch to think that men would like feminism. Partnerships are great! (and no, we don’t all like bad boys.)
And atheists love holidays, we just don’t celebrate the supernatural parts. We stick to enjoying family, friends, and good food. Besides theres nothing religious about New Years eve, Fourth of July, Halloween, etc. some of the best holidays are secular.
Agreed with Stacey. I had a girlfriend for about 3 years who was a hardcore feminist (and not in the slightest a hipster), who was by far one of the best people I have ever dated. Not only was she hot as fuck but also extremely intelligent and hardworking in everything she did. In regards to men, I think it is entirely possible for us to be feminists and at the same time strong. Not every man who believes in equality between the sexes fits the wimpy profile (in fact I would say the majority don’t), and equality between the sexes does not even necessarily mean men should not open doors/pay for meals/etc.
There really is little correlation, in my experience, between these waste of air hipsters and feminism. In fact, a few of my hipster ‘acquaintances’ are easily some of the most chauvanistic idiots I have ever met.
From what I’ve seen, feminism seems to be a lot more than just equal treatment. It may be what you say in theory, but in practice I see something different (like with many other isms). I’m not trying to start an argument, but you have to admit that a lot of “male feminists” are full of shit. I can’t throw a hand grenade at a crowd of hiptards without fragging almost an entire crowd of self-proclaimed “male feminists”. For every actual male feminist I’ve met who actually walks the walk, there are tons more who are either creepy fucks who just want to get laid but don’t have any game or masculine qualities that women will find appealing, or they belong to the other part of the “creep contingent”. The “creep contingent” is made up of those types who have rejected all aspects of their masculinity and think respect for women = kissing ass. These dudes are “manginas”. The majority of male Hipsters also fall into this category. This following clip is an example of male feminism taken to it’s absurd extreme. These creepazoids are easily interchangeable with the male hipster.
Now, to counteract that vomit inducing tripe, here’s an SNL parody:
The first two are what Caleb and Josh will look like in thirty years.
Zero historical facts and figures are included in the 3:23 minute barf-fest of a video. This is pure hipster-infected Brooklyn: soul-less, artificial, adult-playground devoid of any true character.
Horribly edited and pieced together (probably done by some nasal honking intern). Even if these overpriced shitholes weren’t infested by yupster scum I would have zero desire or curiosity to visit them.
I give this teleprompter reader a challenge – profile Harlem without showing any black people. “it’s hip, it’s trendy, it’s DEVOID OF THE BLACKS!” It’ll be playing in every Chicago-area station to promote the next influx of Megans.
I don’t see how this video makes Williamsburg look so great to hipsters. It just shows bowling, shopping, and going to the movies–three activities that they all did as kids in the burbs–all done in some semi-pseudo-quirky way.
Oh wait…
Quick question: What will the hipsters in brooklyn do if a cat 3 ‘caine hits NYC dead to rights? Will they get flights out back to Wissaconsasotagan and hole up at the ‘rents or ride it out in the city? maybe you guys need something like that to clean out brooklyn.
btw – i’m still waiting for “the big one” to hit silverlake break off the land and take all the hipsters straight into the pacific ocean
There’s the next oil slick.
That would be fucking phenomenal, roof top rutabagas flying around at 150 mph smashing josh and caleb’s faces open. You know they would be outside or at the very least at their windows taking pictures and videos of everything. These assholes live their lives as if they are living in a documentary.
Imagine all the rooftop beehives being set loose in a tropical storm. Whoo boy.
“That would be fucking phenomenal, roof top rutabagas flying around at 150 mph smashing josh and caleb’s faces open. ”
(wipes tear from eye)
Sir, there are people here that would pay good money to watch this in real time from behind a ‘caine proof structure.
There’s your next business idea for brooklyn.
I knew of several people who literally drove back to the midwest after 9/11 and never came back. Not sure a hurricane would drive them off, though, sadly……
Okay, this is definitely a douchebag-o-rama report, and I want to punch that lady and send her back to Omaha….. BUT, this native NY-er (born in Canarsie, blue-collar, life-long Queens resident) LOVES Brooklyn Bowl, so don’t diss it. The owner is a total green-freak dead-head (as am I). I’ve been there for music many times and the only hipsters there are the corn-fed desperate actor/badly tatooed wait-staff, never the same each time you go because you know they can’t handle living in the BIG CITY for too long—but hey, that’s who applies for work there. When I’ve been there, it’s been NORMAL non-hipster clientele. And seriously, the venue is amazing for music. The food is decent and they have amazing local beers on tap (Kelso, Brooklyn, SixPoint) for CHEAP. Seriously good stuff. (Never seen a PBR there!) Go there once before you decide! Loves me the Brooklyn Bowl!!!
Don’t hate me diehipster, because I love you!!!
Sunnysider
I happen to agree with you. The place does seem to suffer from windows of time where hipsters come (late nights for music and “DJ sets”) but the space is cool and the pork rinds are yummy.
To those who have dismissed it as a hipster mecca, go on a weekend during the early afternoon and you will find it pleasantly unpretentious.
Haha, good call, Runningsoprano. Every time I’ve gone there, it’s been with a group of people who live far away from W-burg and probably drove there. And so true about the revolving staff, too.
And the music there is indeed usually jam-band music, which hipsters are obligated to hate by the hipster code. (It’s an interesting code… Dave Matthews reminds them of Culdesacia, therefore they hate the Grateful Dead.)
P.S. I’m not a bowler. I’ve been forced to bowl there before and it’s fine, if you like that sort of thing. (I’ve also been forced to bowl at Whitestone Lanes and was as neutral.) But it’s a great music venue and beer place, I promise.
LOL @ ‘forced to bowl’.
I never liked bowling but a relative of mine was an amazing bowler who on top of beating everybody, did it left handed and with that shallow hole, two fingers/ thumb method. And I think his must’ve been at least* 12lbs. I sucked at bowling myself but was good at keeping score and buying beer, so they tolerated my presence lol
Hey DH.
This sight has been on fire lately.
Don’t take this as an insult, but what you have here is a true piece of art.
Gentrification is essentially apartheid by race and class. There are always multiple cultures coexisting in one area; the question is which cultures are officially recognized, and what political power these recognized cultures have. As an area gentrifies, the range of activities and people considered acceptable in the area shrinks. Formerly vibrant urban areas become suburban monocultures were human creativity is replaced by packaged experiences OK’d by the market. Neighborhood gentrification mirrors global homogenization where culture and life are governed by an increasingly small number of rich, powerful organizations with no relevance to the immediate local. Imperialism stifles life; a Boston anti-gentrification activist shouts, “one longs for more bad taste, for more surprise, dirt and looseness, more anarchic, unself-conscious play.”
The above is an excerpt from Xtra Nerdcore “Gentrification”, Slingshot issue 074.
The good thing about the political power issue in Brooklyn is that the moron hipsters didn’t participate in the census in 2010. They had the lowest turnout in the whole city! http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/07/mayor-frets-as-new-yorkers-ignore-census/
Here’s another Times piece about it, and a quote that will make your heads explode:”Ms. JAMIE LILLY: You know, on a personal note, maybe some people, they figure what’s the point to be counted if you don’t count for much anyway? If we don’t count, why be counted?” What an ass!
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/12/a-stroll-through-the-city-of-numbers/
That these supposed adults have such little understanding of community processes is just one of the many things that is jaw-dropping stunning. Their ignorance is mind numbing.
Katie, step away from the bong for just a moment.
That census counts and so does your participation. Think of it like this you spoiled little deers: if you don’t ask mummy and daddy for your rent money, they don’t know you need it and you don’t get it. See how that works? OK. The census has the same point to the communities that people live in. You don’t get as much of the funds in the county budget that you all need to have a decent quality of life.
Of course, since hipsters rely so much on begging for their quality of life, versus participating and giving, they tell each other things like voting and filling out the census forms doesn’t ‘matter’.
meh….now i really am FedUpWithIt….
I don’t think that many of them do ask mom and dad for the rent money. I think mom and dad just mail the check straight to their landlords.
One of the commenters writes: “Hipsters are alot like the tea baggers. They don’t work and have an irrational fear the the government.” So true.
That chick looks like a horse with a wig on. Does she even HAVE an upper lip?
As for the hipster scripster, two years isn’t so bad. The bad part is it takes HIM that long because he has no actual talent and does not work in collaboration with anyone because his self-appointed talent can’t handle critique.
So he’ll call the ‘rents and ask for a one year extension on his fund money while he ‘polishes the script up’. In that year, he’ll go down to Mexico for two weeks and then take a run up to LA. He won’t actually contact anybody about his script, or try, but he wants to be able to say he was there and not feel TOO guilty about it. Then he’ll head to Portland for some authentic experiences and couch surf some hipsters he’s Skyped with till they hint that maybe he ought to be on his way. He’ll leave offended and snag their wallets on his way out because ‘mean people attract bad Karma’. He’ll get on a bus, for its grittiness, and head into Austin where he will join a band for 3 months until he’s kicked out by the others because he interprets ‘practice’ as ‘ forget your instrument, do drugs, and drink the whole time’. There, he’ll rent a car on the credit card his parents are responsible for, and he’ll drive to New Orleans to ‘see if the people have healed since the hurricane’ where he will wind up in the ER from alcohol poisoning and a very serious beating that a street wise group of older junkies give him. He won’t let hospital personnel contact his family because then he’d have to admit to the truth and he needs time to work on a story for what happened that will make him sound smarter than dumber.
He’ll say that while researching his story about a boxer who doesn’t quite make the big time, ( he’ll conveniently forget this plot was already an award winning movie ), he got in the ring and got ‘knocked around a little’ but gave as good as he got and so embarrassed the pro boxer that the gym owners threw him out. During this time, he will have forgotten the time frame on his rental car.
He’ll drive through Atlanta to stroll Little 5 Points and swing by Athens before he heads up the coastline ‘exploring the ocean communities’. Finally, he will wind up in Williamsburg where he started but will spend six weeks driving in circles as he struggles to remember where he lives.
But don’t worry about him feeling anxious Mom and Dad. He won’t. He’ll be stoned the whole time.
Please don’t give him ideas about coming to Athens. On second thought, school and football season is about to start, so all the bro’s are back in town.
And if there’s one thing hipsters are afraid of, it’s bro’s.
I saw a comedy video on youtube of two guys trying to figure out if their roommate was a hipster or a bro. I think they finally decided he was a broster.
The ‘-ster’ thing. Did it all start with hamster or dogster?
P.S. An update on Ian the ebegging wannabe rockstar who needs you to pay his rent for awhile..
For the first time Mr.Crossland there on YewTube, seems to have taken down a video and most likely due to the confrontational, aggressive, ‘hate filled’ ( in other words, the TRUTH ) comments on his ‘please pay my rent while i play at music’.
One of the best comments was something like: “Exciting new method to get $3000: GET A JOB!”
lol.
Not surprising at all. He set his video to unlisted after the “dislikes” outnumbered the “like”. It speaks volumes about hipster “artists” across the board.
“nancy reagan physiqued” lmao
Give commenter JAZ credit for that one. LOL. He said it a while ago and i almost pissed myself. Good one.
URBAN BRBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN BRBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN BRBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN BRBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN BRBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN BRBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN BRBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN BRBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN BRBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN BRBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN BRBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN BRBAN URBAN URBAN URBAN
“Where nobody knows your name and everyone looks the same” hahaha. Anybody notice the extraordinary amount of hipster commercials during the Jets game last night? Jesus! My only hope is that they’ve become so overexposed that they’ll just go away.
I could have sworn my grandpa used to take me to Maple Lanes (don’t bother trying to look it up Caleb; it’s in a Brooklyn hood where you are completely unwelcome) when I was a kid, but obviously I must be fucking hallucinating because there was no bowling in BK till you fauxhemians brought it from the midwest, Thanks hipsters!
Maple, Leemark and Melody. I was laughing at the 8lb ball reference because I bought my oldest son his 1st one that size when he was in the 3rd grade.
Can you imagine a Caleb looking high & low in the bowling alley for an 8 pound ball just to wind up, throw it, and have his tampon-stringed body follow the ball all the way down the lane into the pins? Like a Bugs Bunny cartoon.
He finds her diamond ring, she gives him a free art class:
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/ring-complete-article-1.1145083
The gift of her art – how quirky. She has inspired me to compose a little gift for her:
You said ‘I have to gentrify New York City’
“Like Yah It’s just so urban, rough, and gritty”
“Now I sit in the EV and paint all day”
Arty The Seal is on the way!
You know he’s a cool guy and is putting a nice face on for the cameras. But when he gets home he’s thinking “Shit – how bout $100 so I can take my wife out for a nice dinner, ya bitch!”
A co-worker once found a wallet in the restaurant we worked in that was stuffed with $1200. He hung on to it till the end of the night and when the foreigner who lost it came back to get it, he thanked the waiter profusely and gave him…a handshake. People are cheapskates.
She’s definitely a legend in her own mind. Yupster bitch. He should have hocked it. Unfortunately he’s too honest and good inside to do that…
narcissism ad absurdem, on the other hand, the guy’s making a killing:
http://live.wsj.com/video/tattoo-artists-flock-to-williamsburg-brooklyn/D4C1C46F-42C8-4BD2-8D52-3097F376B33B.html?mod=wsj_article_tboleft#!D4C1C46F-42C8-4BD2-8D52-3097F376B33B
I can’t knock those guys for their hustle. I know a few dudes who make serious money off trendy people with disposable incomes.
Notice the only people featured in the video getting the tattoos are hipsters from Flyoverlandia who think this is a “new” thing.
Sure, everyone knows hipsters invented tattooing in 1992!
Seriously, my old building manager who’s from Nebraska got a “GO HUSKERS” biceps band tat for her 70th birthday!
When I waited tables in the 60s a regular customer from Europe had the ultimate in ironic tattoos, a line of numbers on his inner forearm, very minimalist. What do you want to bet some trendy dickhead will actually do this someday as a comment on anti-hipster hatred!
After all, they call us Nazis already, seems the next logical step.
I just had a brainstorm! Let’s start a new urban art form, tattoo tagging! We’ll grab hipsters and tattoo “HIPSTER DICKHEAD” on their foreheads. Then other hipsters can photograph them and put the pics in a trendy gallery claiming credit for someone else’s work. How ironic!
LET THE HATE FLOW THROUGH YOU, YOUNG HIPSTER BEATER!
If these tattoo artists were business savvy, they’d also invest in tattoo removal.
Personally, I don’t get the tattoo thing at all. I find it very off-putting, especially on women.
I have nothing against tattoos but the tramp stamp generation is going to start to show up in nursing homes in about 30 years. Can you imagine when all these people turn old and the people changing their diapers have to look at all those stretched faded tramp stamps?
I worked with a woman who had a pretty faded tramp stamp – and she was bordering on 50. It was NOT a good look, especially since she usually wore clothing that “accidentally” showed it off.
The tats that’ll be truly hideous in the future are the highly-complex “Asian” tattoos that have been making the rounds of the past decase or so. If they run HALF as much as my uncle’s WWII Navy tats ran, these people are going to be walking around with blurry blobs of pigment all over their arms in another decade or two – and what an appetizing sight that’ll be.
What’s particularly bad is that the US has absolutely no standards on what can go into tattoo ink, and a lot of places during the big tattoo boom of the mid-Nineties cut their ink to make more money. It shows, too, because your uncle’s tats were probably still Titian originals compared to some of the work I saw last weekend. “Blurry blobs” wasn’t half of the problem: the real problem was when the ink broke down, leaving big faded patches. (A lot of that ink also had dangerous levels of arsenic, lead, mercury, and cadmium, again, because of the lack of regulation. It’s fine now, but when it starts to break down in another ten years, say hello to the bloodstream.)
The Daily News has huge hardon for Brooklyn hipsters lately. Here’s a profile of “food truck icon” Van Leeuwen Artisan Ice Cream:
How did a just-out-of-college hipster with zero culinary or business experience launch a budding Ben & Jerry’s?
He found a unique idea – superpremium ice cream sold out of vintage trucks – gave his brand a distinct point of view, and did it all on a Dixie cup-size budget.
Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/food-truck-icon-van-leeuwen-artisan-ice-cream-hits-business-sweet-spot-cooks-growth-plan-article-1.1143810#ixzz24lxW2n3a
From the Brooklyn section of the Daily News….
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/brooklyn/video-occupy-wall-street-baby-born-a-brooklyn-cab-videographer-dad-captures-film-article-1.1028034
SEE THE VIDEO: Occupy Wall Street baby born in a Brooklyn cab, and videographer dad captures it on film
Activist goes into labor while hosting OWS meeting in her Greenpoint home
Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/brooklyn/video-occupy-wall-street-baby-born-a-brooklyn-cab-videographer-dad-captures-film-article-1.1028034#ixzz24mkELvk6
The baby is a native New Yorker now.
LIKE, LIKE ,LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, LIKE , LIKE , LIKE , LIKE , LIKE, YAH!
If those are the parents I feel sorry for the kid.
this site makes me so happy!
It make me so happy, I’ve got half a chubby right now!
We’re happy that you’re happy. Happy happy joy joy…
I’m happy, I’m happy, I’m happy, I’m happy and I’ll punch the man who says I’m not! I’m happy, I’m happy………
http://gothamist.com/2012/08/27/oh_just_another_night_on_the_bedfor.php
In most countries, a gathering like this would be met with tear gas and rubber bullets.
People, we need to organize! Twenty normal passengers should be able to form a flying wedge formation in lockstep and clear the deck of this detritus chanting ” hut-hut-hut-hut-hut-hut-hut”
Like here in Moscow, Lenin Library station (it’s still called that), 7pm rush hour.
See any musicians on the platform?
Oh, just wait until the first time you run into this shit at the airport. Three or four flights coming in at the same time, everyone trying to get their luggage and get the hell out, and the baggage claim area is taken up by a herd of the fashionably funemployed flying back from Dogfelcher Falls who think that now is the time for a singalong with everyone in the vicinity.
Wait wait wait, Leroy, I’m confused again man. I’m sorry. Are you talking about Dallas? I don’t quite understand how this relates to Dallas.
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Jesus loves you, DC33.
And peripherally related, when John Waters points out that the hipster obsession with pink flamingos is classist, you know hipsters are hated:
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/The-Tacky-History-of-the-Pink-Flamingo-165593536.html
Thank god we have some validity that hipsters are hated. I had no idea people didn’t love them!! Really great find, Paul!!
It’s “validation”, retard.
I love how on point you nerds are about my grammar and my spelling. It’s such a funny, small detail about you guys.
Garbage in, garbage out.
I love John Waters. He is one of the truly weird individuals who have their own unique outlook and the ability to convey it through art, unlike the faux-weird poseurs who copy his and other innovators words, appearance and lifestyles. He is also a great interview subject, check out his two-part Drexel interview on PBS. The man truly loves the common American and celebrates his culture with wit and respect. And he can’t stand elitist hipsters!
One of the most important bits of wisdom Waters ever had to impart to hipsters: “The best thing about turning 40 is that you can stop blaming your parents for everything you didn’t do with your life.” Hear that, Special Edd?
I’ve never blamed my parents. Have you ever heard me doing that? Have you ever heard me blame anyone for my problems? No, my problems are the fault of God and myself, which is just an extension of God. It’s part of the cycle of the universe. Divine problems everywhere.
And on that note, did you ever see Muhammad or Buddha or Jesus blame anyone?
You guys could learn a lot from those guys. A lot.
Edd, it’s good to see you back. I thought we’d lost you when someone kicked Stevie in the chin and nearly castrated you.
Leroy, that is a joke you’ve used for like three years. Not only was it not funny when you first told it, but it’s still not funny. Making gay jokes is possibly the lamest thing a 50+ year old like yourself could do. Also castration jokes? What is this, Junior High.
What I do like Paul is that you haven’t mentioned Texas in nearly three days! I’m sure you’re stockpiling your Texas URLs as soon as I fade away again.
In other words, it hit a nerve, didn’t it?
Yer so right on, my brotheR from another subuRb. Like yah, tell the mean man he’s negatively affected your delicate sensibilities. Like, yah!
I think you guys might actually like Nitehawk.
Impossible! How could they? It’s a movie theatre that shows good movies and you can eat and drink beer while you watch them. Not possible! Not possible at all! It’s probably owned by hipsters! Fatso, take it back!!
Ted, why do you h8 hipsters so much? You’re just jealous.
Hear, hear, my skim-milk complexioned comrade!
this is a documentary about how hipsters handle a crisis…
*make sure you boss around older people and put them in danger for mortal accidents
*make sure there’s a ‘guido’ looking dude in your group who has a questionable character
so you can blame stuff on him when you get stressed out, especially if he thinks your
plans are stupid
*make sure the dead people are black, but pretend you care about saving them so you look courageous
*wear really quirky clothes
*stand someplace you’ll get really wet even when you don’t need to
*be the only one with insight who understands what’s going on because you were doing it first…like, one person in your group who’s 35 is studying to be a neursciensomethingist, but your holistically informed engineering skills you kind of have will be totally better than that
The 20 Worst Hipster Bands: The Complete List
blogs.laweekly.co
I’m a huge music aficionado, and it hurts to admit, but a lot of what I listen to can definitely be associated with the hipster scene. But I just listen to what I like, and that’s how it is. In college I was a DJ for our radio station, so I’m pretty well versed in the underground music scene.
A lot of independent music I come across (I hate using the word “indie” because it’s so excessively co-opted by….well, hipsters, and consequently takes on a negative connotation) is certainly cloying, amateurish, and uninspired. And I would say something similar about a lot of today’s popular music; the main difference is the production quality. But in any case, there’s definitely a lot of great lesser-known music out there, and I encourage anyone, if they have the patience, to weed through the hipster BS and find what is special to them.
All that said, this list of “20 worst hipster bands” is quite good. I was wondering if there was going to be anything outrageous, like a dig on Sonic Youth (who certainly don’t fit the quintessential hipster ethos, and have far too much of a legacy, but still, hipsters like ‘em), but I agree with many of the groups listed. The only ones I would really disagree with are Beach House, Beirut, and Grizzly Bear. Beach House isn’t anything groundbreaking, but the songwriting is simple, consistent, and relaxing. It’s funny that segment mentions Stereolab and Massive Attack as better alternatives, because I like those groups very much too. Beirut has certainly fallen off a bit, but the first album is still quite good. Is the Balkan folk sound somewhat gimmicky? Perhaps, but there’s no denying Zach Condon is a talented songwriter, in my opinion. And Grizzly Bear…I’m not sure what to say, I thought their latest album was one of the best releases i’ve heard in the past few years.
But yes, otherwise a great, hilarious list. I’ll shut up now
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying what you enjoy. I’ve argued for years that the phrase “guilty pleasure” should be banned upon pain of death, because all that implies is “Yes, I know I’m too cool to like this, but I like it anyway.” A lot of the complaints we have about hipster music has to do with the actual execution, as well as the incessant “you’ve probably never heard of them” bullshit that, also, implies that the utterer sticks to obscure material in the desperate hope that nobody will call him on it. It’s right up there with watching My Little Pony cartoons all day because it’s “ironic”.
I see what you’re saying, but I think “guilty pleasure” is sometimes used as a way of deflecting some criticism from one’s friends. If you get some flak for liking something, you can acknowledge it by calling it a “guilty pleasure.” It’s like saying “You don’t need to bust my balls for liking this for I hate myself enough already for it (or at least pretend to).” Still a self-conscious manner of thinking, but not as bad, I’d say.
I agree that sticking to obscurity for the sake of it is stupid. I’m pretty happy when I hear a group I like in, for example, a commercial or tv show.. It gets them exposure and a nice chuck of change. Nothing wrong with that.
Arcade Fire should be #1. Death Cab for Cutie is 10 yrs past being relevant. And Silversun Pickups should be in there.
And though I like the Jersey-ana in their songs, Titus Andronicus should also be on the list.
You know, in my experience hipsters like these are always from the East or West coasts. the Midwest is really too normal for this shit (I went to grad school in Iowa and don’t worry, I wear button downs and pleated pants.
Ok, I’ll take the bait. I’ll ignore the obvious and respond to you with something other than “Fuck off hipster. You’re not fooling anyone”.
It is a known fact that hipsters/yupsters move to the coasts from the fly-over states. Their accents are proof of that. That’s not bashing Midwesterners as quite a few post here and dislike hipsters. Hipturds have a way about them that make people dislike them.
Went to Great Adventure today and saw a hipster dude, a young one at that with a wool hat in 90 degree weather. But I have to say thank god that hipsters are a small minority in the USA. They only exist in large metro areas. Being they are wealthy and all.
More ART ART ART from the fine folks at Cracked’s Photoplasty contest…. http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_427_16-appropriate-punishments-everyday-annoyances_p16/#13
Since I was smuggled below the line to safely live with normal people, I have observed this.. No matter what country, native or transplant we all have pretty much the same things in common. Im so glad I was given a pass down here. Like I often mention, Im sorry what my idiots have done to your city. I was asked at a hipster housewarming above the line, Where do you live?” My response, “New york..” I will never give up where I live now and fight with you for the line. Hard working, normal people deserve as much!
Reblogged this on Tallulah Bankhead and commented:
this is real.
Did you see how when they panned the Peach Frog store all the straw fedouchas popped into view? And she even tried one on. The only thing worse than a guy trying to rock a fedoucha is a gal attempting it. Nasty.