Someone sent in this picture to me of a window display of a children’s store in – you guessed it – Willy World, Nieuw Breukelen. Wow, sales must really be slow there if they’ve stooped down to putting a mannequin of a child in the window with the signature ‘summer ski hat and beard’ that so many itchy hipster adult toddlers sport and of course a shirt with a hipster keyword like ‘Local’ on it. Get the fuck out of Brooklyn you homogenized interlopers and stop trying to recruit your children into your world of pseudo-quirkiness.
The next generation growing up really scares me.
The baby Campbells are already sipping lattes in Park Slope!!
One word for this:
Creepy.
Arseface you really scares me. Posting at 718am on a anonymous blog.
You don’t scare me because I’m sure you’re really Ted Danson and you waited until 8:13 am to post.
Zany, that doesn’t make any sense. Try again, you unintelligent moron.
aren’t you the diediehipster guy?
At least arseface has a job,,,
Cleaning cum off the peep show theatre in Los Angeles is not exactly a job I would care to have. But I guess someone has to do it or Fred Williard will have a dirty theatre experience.
I scare me too.
The shirt states “Totally Local”, where is local, Alaska?
Very strange. No NY’ers dress like that unless they are actually going to a camp upstate to go hunting or fishing.
I see these inbred man-children knitting on the train all the time. Men … knitting! Now I know what they are up to. They are knitting quirky, wacky, zany accessories like knit faux-beards, knit summertime winter hats, and of course knit potholders for making their artistically locally sourced jams. This is like realizing that the guy you saw on a plane in August 2001 was in fact playing with a box cutter.
“knit summertime winter hats” just made my head explode. OW!
Cool stories.
http://arnade.tumblr.com/
Interesting Mickey. Cheers.
Good thing the child is wearing a thick fake beard. It’ll serve as a cushion when he’s getting his face smashed in at school.
It’s gonna by so funny to watch as hipster children rebel against their parents by becoming unpretentious productive members of society.
I’m already starting to see it happen. It’s really funny listening to fifteen-year-olds berating their parents about paying the electric bill before going to Burning Man.
yes! this!!! ^
Amen Jimmy!
I encountered a spawn of a hipster yesterday in a BAY FUCKING RIDGE playground. He was torturing my child. You think the parents are bad just wait until their littles sperms grow up, you ain’t seen nothing yet. He zeroed in on my daughter and made it his little dickhead mission to torment her. I stayed in the background knowing full well that she could handle him. Every time he said or did something annoyingly out of line his mom would say “dude, not cool. duuuuuude, really not cooool.” which should have gotten her a smack. Doucheboy tried so hard to get my girl to freak out, she did not (cause she is a bad ass) as his mom was escorting him out of the park he screamed at my kid “GO KILL YOURSELF!!!” His mom is lucky I didn’t kill her. By the way he was possibly 5 years old. Bay Ridge needs to call in the guard, these assholes are sneaking over the border.
Wow. I think I’ll have to hide in those bay ridge parks’ garbage cans like Oscar the Grouch and when the hipster moms throw out their sea weed infused soy cracker treat wrappers – ill teach them and their little Ethans a lesson.
Please do! I wasn’t really planning on it but yesterday’s encounter made me sign the kid up for tae kwon . I say karate chopping one of these little fuckers will be the least righteous things mini me will ever do. It’s a whole new world out there, A world where certain cretins do not parent their children. A world where NO! is not spoken, a world where it is ok to call your little turd “dude” . I try to imagine my Mom calling my brother dude and avoiding the total stink eye she is getting from another mom because my brother is being an out and out fuckface circa 1978. My Mom would have smacked broham in the head, apologized for his indescrition and ruthlessly kicked his ass up the 75th street hill where my Dad would be waiting to give him a brand stinking new contusion he was not planning on. “Go kill yourself!” ,,,honestly it is really pissing me off that I let the mom off the hook with that little gem. I have NEVER raised a hand against my child and thankfully have never had to, I kind of wanted to smack this littler fucker in the face. Not worth the jail time.
MJ you did the right thing. If your daughter smacked the little cumstain, his mom would be calling the cops on her ass to arrest her for hurting her pwecious snowflake. If you doled out the asswhupping yourself, she woulda called the cops on YOU… and you woulda deprived your lovely daughter the joy of catching his ass out in the kindergarten playground herself this September
This has to be a joke
lmao. These kids of hipsters are going to be native New Yorkers.
lol the irony
@ Fatso, The kids will never be native New Yorkers because their parents weren’t natives or immigrants. You can’t be scared/unaccepting of non-white people and be a native. Also, as NY has lost its grittiness, they will never have the swag or the flavor of a native. They will never have the NY accent. You can’t buy all of this, you have to just be about it. They will never be one of us, no matter how many generations are born here..
lmao you’re wrong.
Well, being as it is an opinion, I can’t be wrong. But riddle me this fats: When I walk into the hood, they know I am a true native. Why is that? Because I was raised in NYC from the 1970′s to 1990′s Qnz, LES, Bronx and Brooklyn. I know how to act and talk and I have a crazy NY accent kiddo, When these kids will try to say they are natives, they will be food for urban folk. Why is that? Ask around because you don’t seem to understand what my point is. LMYao, you aren’t from around these parts are you?
When these kids are old enough to say they are natives, there won’t be a New York accent anymore.
The Shirt should read ” My Life was Destroyed by Bullies in Third Grade”
That’s my pic! Thanks for posting, DH!
Whoot!
Here’s a wider shot:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/46896052@N00/7847112350/in/set-72157630437622300
That mannequin would make an excellent range target
why don’t you go try it out in your local theatre in Auraro, CO, or maybe at the Empire State Building or a house of worship like your other friends?
Owning a gun isn’t a crime you stupid fuck. Equating all gun owners with murderers just shows how retarded you are.
nevermind him, he’s a sissy hipster that can’t drag himself away from this site.
I’m not a hipster you fucking idiot. Have you seen that video of me on my website, diediehipster.wordpress.com in the about section. If someone has a different viewpoint than you, that doesn’t mean they are a hipster. Dumbass.
Ed sit back, pop a med and read this:
You’re not a hipster? You:
A – are from a CT suburb B – live in kewelllll North Brooklyn C – rent paid by Daddy D – think you’re a movie maker E – cameras bought by Daddy F – hung out with OWS dirty fucking hipster socialists who think you can easily convert a 300 year old diverse capitalist country of 350,000,000 people into socialism and have it function like Canada or a small European country. G – you defend hipsters; to the point you made an anti-diehipster site. H – “where do we go from here?”
NOPE – not a hipster. LOL you fucking fool.
END OF STORY
Because some of us, like me included, like to go to the gun range we’re mass killers? You are a moron. A moron.
God bless America! You fucking idiots. I have a right to not get my head blown off the next time I’m watching a movie and you stupid pieces of shit have a right to mass murder me.
Why can’t you just have fun with bow and arrows instead? Why do you need to have a right to play with a weapon that can kill so easily in so many easy ways, and without much grief?
Maybe because of our country teaches us to do that with our drone strikes and our adavanced military state and our love of the violent sport of football.
Fuck American and fuck you.
The only thing keeping you from killing your mother the next time at meatloaf friday dinner is having my uncle the senator enforce a background check to see how mentalally unstable you are.
But that won’t happen, because our country is owned by corporate interests and the super rich and my uncle the senator begs for money from the rich fucks so hard like a beggar in Budapest on his head.
Clearly you’re a very sick person.
“*Where do we go from here*” huh Ed? You helpless shit. Go make another video and get off this site’s dick. You are a whining, butthurt annoying little cunt who really blows everything out of proportion. You act as if the entire world reads this site and will invade North Brooklyn and kill all the hipsters. Whats wrong with you?? What is it? THere is no doubt that you took or take medication. Just go back to CT and work in a Radio Shack – where you belong.
Good News.
Edd cancelled his diediehipster blog and I just registered it under the name Caleb Nasalwarts. He’ll have to buy it back from me now. (I’ll take that expensive camera as payment dickweed).
LOL!!!
He’s gone through the whole list of old canards on the FAQ, he’s done the “eloquent and moving speech” thing, he’s tried pretending to be a tough guy for a bit, and none of it has worked. So he’s now moved on to Emergency Backup Plan 4, which is to argue about something completely irrelevant, wait for people to ignore him, and then claim he won because he got the last word.
Ed/Ted/whoever:
You’ve made a fool of yourself on here, irrevocably.
You can’t dig yourself out of it.
Every extra word you write is making it worse.
You’re out of your depth.
You’re thrashing about to salvage something here, and it shows.
You brought nothing to this argument that other hipster defenders, who all got shot down in their turn, didn’t also bring.
An anti-hate campaigner who hates his own country. An anti-violence advocate who deplores football yet fantasises about killing someone’s mother. What’s the matter, not mentioning raping people’s wives this time out, because the person who did that already “nailed it” in your opinion?
I know that dignity is important to you, so just leave with what dignity you might still have, and go back to your “uncle the senator” before he disowns you for being boring.
LOL. You have a great way with words. If I were Ed and just read that I would already be on a train back to Connecticut; sitting in the train’s bathroom; parentally bought camera rolling as I contemplate slitting my wrists.
It won’t happen. Ed can’t function unless he can display his butthurt to the world, like some living Goatse model. His slicing his wrists won’t be the last word. Now, I could see him doing a Mark David Chapman/John Hinckley for the attention, because that would be the last word, which is why I fervently hope his UNCLE THE SENATOR is keeping an eye on him to prevent him from hurting others.
Fuck you you stupid ass moron cumbuckets. You are all my bitches. You belong to me. I fucking just slayed one of your assclowns, Ripturd. His pussy hurts. Whos next you dumb little fuckers.
DH replies! Oh the sea parts. Hey DH, why don’t you just keep posting your stupid hipster beatings with your “END OF STORY” bullshit at the end and remember to post them in bold!
Or keep the same goddamn joke going, time after time. Every time you repeat a joke it gets funnier, you know that right – of course you do you little sweetheart.
You guys are so dumb as shit this is great.
Also you idiot Jack, I fucking hate hipsters maybe more than you. But I guess you don’t quite understand that. because you are a dumb fuck Republican and the world is only black and white. To me, it’s 50 shades of grey and you are soon to be my bitch.
The master sleuth, who’s so good at digging up dirt on people and exposing the real identities they’re trying to hide, hasn’t even figured out yet that I’m in the wrong country to be a Republican?
Thank you, Jack: this is going to be entertaining. I always described Edd’s tirades as “vowel movements,” and he just confirmed it. Meanwhile, he’s probably crying to Mommy about how the whole world is just sooooooooo mean to him!
And there’s the Special Edd we all know and love! Either his impotent rage overloaded his current medication, or Stevie really did teach him everything he knew. With the latter, this means that we won’t be hearing from Special Edd for a while: he’ll be hospitalized with back injuries from attempting to suck his own dick.
“Fuck American and fuck you!”
Lol Wow! Mature AND articulate! Now help me out here, you know how slow all us local folk are… What exactly do you mean by “fuck American” …you mean like, fuck the American language? Do you mean, like, English? Cuz like, in my neck of the woods, there’s a whole lotta other languages being spoken besides plain old English — like Spanish, Mandarin ( that’s what they speak in China, sweetie), Cantonese (again, China… You know, the country that manufactures virtually all of the goods sold by the “corporate interests” you railed against in your above tantrum) various local Indian dialects (betcha didn’t know English is the official language of India, didja? Nope, didn’t think so), Russian, Swahili….
Oh! Maybe you meant “fuck American cars”? Well, ok, so they’re not as glamorous as some of the forein models, but what’s a sustainable locally-sourced doofus like yourself want with a foreign car? I thought y’all was all about the bike lanes?
Maybe you were in a hurry and you meant to say, “I want to fuck an American.” hmmmm, can’t help ya there, happily married. But maybe if you shave some of your hairy parts, brush your teeth, and consider a little soap and water now and then (at least in your genital area) you might get lucky someday.
Cheers!
Your eloquence just shows how smart you are, you stupid dumb fuck. You just wasted 10 minutes typing up something no one read. Maybe it was a good exercise in writing. Get ready to write that great short story for McSweeneys.
Let’s send your little “Fuck American and fuck you” comment to DHS and see if they think you’re as witty as your mom does. See something. say something.
Interesting comments, Ted…
Hey I got to thinking, what if we could arrange a scientific study on hipster brains. To monitor their brain activity using cat scans, and compare it to non-hipster brains. My hypothesis is that hipsters brain activity is damaged, or it is dim in comparison to the brain activities of non-hipsters. Having studies like that done will be huge evidence, this us not a hate site, we are definately pissed off about something, seeking answers as to why
Special Edd here is a great example of someone who describes himself as “artistic”: the only response is “I didn’t know ‘artistic’ was spelled with a ‘u’ instead of an ‘r’.”
“…my uncle the Senator”. Well, now we know where Edd gets his entitlement from. I can see him in high school, being set on fire by bronies: “You’d better be nice to me, or MY UNCLE THE SENATOR will have you killed in your sleep!”
Those aren’t kids sized….they are hipster adult size. Did you forget I only weigh 106 lbs and am 6’1? I would probably have to get those clothes tailored so they would fit me…chilrens clothes are usually too big. AND WTF are all of you talking about…if my dad buys me a room in Williamsburg, I AM A LOCAL BECAUSE MY MAILING ADDRESS SAYS I LIVE THERE ON MY ID!
steve, i’m convinced that you are so thin because you eat next to nothing. rooftop kale maybe? a few hemp seeds? a 3oz jar of $20 mayonnaise? what the fuck do you eat or not eat to weigh 106 lbs at 6’1? lol
Saw that product on Dragon’s Den (Canadian version of original Japanese entrepreneur/venture capital show, Tiger of Money – Shark Tank on ABC). It’s actually called a Beardo!!!!
Wonder if the creators are DH fans?
http://www.beardowear.ca/category/dragons-den-toque
I think that knitting beard is for their “girlfriends”…
I got some male hipster lines I made up
“do these ruby vans slippers look good with my rolled up skinny jeans?”
“Should I wear on my pink wayfarers or my purple studded stunner shades?”(I see guys with pink wayfarers no joke)
“i have a new obscure band which is not mainstream its called sour pickled urine it consists of a man who hits on oil barrels, a girl who can do armpit noises and me doing yodeling it will be a smash hit”
hipster:”I made out a hipster chik while drinking my pabst blue ribbon and her mustache was tickling my beard”
normal man:you sure it’s a chick?
hipster:”I don’t know…she told me she had to hide her candy”
“I busted out for you in my sexy half shirt and ironic mustache”
“I went to the dumpster to get some wonderful food for tonight’s date: brown salad with green eggs and ham”
“I went to the dumpster to get some wonderful food for tonight’s date: brown salad with green eggs and ham”
the hipsters dive the dumpsters for food? i thought mom and dad were paying for $20 sustainable mayonnaise
They do when it’s fashionable to be a “freegan”. It’s all about making normal activities extra-special because nobody does it that way for as long as they have. “Well, I’ve been making peanut butter and olive loaf sandwiches with rat semen for years.”
“I gotta pick up my turquoise leotard legwarmers and fedora from goodwill, its prom nite”
“Check out my brown artwork event behind the Sears tower”
“We decided to play three musketeers behind in my urban tent with farty Marty and Parrot Jarrot”