Am I anti-pig? No. Am I anti-farm? No. Am I anti-people who like pigs and farm life? No.
By the way, this picture was taken in Red Hook, Brooklyn and sent to me.
However, when you move into a fucking city like New York from Sheboygan, Wisconsin – act fucking normal and not like an attention-seeking try-hard. Damn, I can’t stand this “look-at-me-ism” any more. This bitch is just begging for someone to stop and say “Wow, are those pigs you are walking?” So she can say “Yeppers! Meet Zane and Zoey, our pets and Red Hook’s newest residents. My husband and I just opened the Red Hook Five & Dime where we will sell farm supplies and stuff like home-made artisanal jam that we stomped with our own feet”.
Fucking out-of place, rent-raising narcissists! Pack your shit and go!
Fucking hipsters…next they’ll be raising cows and llamas and poisoning people with raw milk because they’re fucking clueless on basic sanitation. Is that stupid bitch going to clean up after them? Or is she going to take their shit home to fertilize her urban garden? I can see a future Daily News article about two 1000 pound fucking pigs loose on the streets of Brooklyn because she realized they actually do get bigger and can’t keep them in her shitty 200 square foot cupboard of a studio paid for by Ma and Pa.
If I remember right, she’s keeping them in her play farm store. Pigs are not only yummy but very intelligent (in this case, moreso than their owners). They’ll LOVE the midnight snacks of feed and seed…
If I remember right, pot bellied pigs were really popular about 10 years ago. Then the fad died off when people discovered that, while they are cute piglets, they grow into big ugly hogs that eat everything in sight. After a while the animal shelters were inundated with them as they were being dumped on the highways and left to starve. The lucky ones ended up on the family dinner table.
Expect to see history repeating itself.
THEY ALREADY DO! They are big into raw milk because they are idiots that have no clue why pasteurization was invented. They think raw milk is healthier, even as quite a few get sick from it. Really stupid ones even feed it to their babies instead of formula, cuz formula is “poison” (if try can’t breastfeed of course)
Exactly who is taking whom out for a walk?
My initial thought was that they were filming a remake of “Hannah and her Sisters.”
or “Charlotte’s Web-blog”
That pig is nasty. Look how filthy it is. Christ, someone hose it down.
*LOLOLOL* Yeah, somebody stop that damn pig. And release those poor creatures tied to it back to a place where they can live a decent, uncramped-up life.
lol hahahahhahahahhahahhahahha
I won’t be surprised if they turn Red Hook into a modern day version of Five Points.
Gotta love it. Having read “Five Points” and “Low Life,” I can just visualize a future Red Hook of smacked-out hipsters lying in the gutter with feral Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs gnawing on their filthy girlie jeans.
You may want to check out “Paradise Alley” by Kevin Baker. A great novel set in Five Points.
If it’s got feral pigs in an urban landscape, I’m all over it.
But seriously, sounds good. It’s been a while since I read a good novel, so I’ll be sure to check it out. Thanks for the recommendation.
Low Life, what an awesome book.
More like humping them.
“Welcome to the six o’clock news Ladies and Gentlemen. A disturbing animal sex ring was busted recently, but becasue hipsters were involved it’s not your typical animal sex ring. No, these animals actuallly pimp and rape the hipsters, not the other way around. Right now, it’s the Potbellied Pig Capones running this rough trade for now. Meanwhile, Meghan and Ethan Bumblebutts from fatnose falls, Iowa are recovering in the city hospitals rape victims unit. The doctors had to use heavy doses of valium to calm them down because they simply would not stop squealing and were running around the hospital trying to stuff their snouts up the fannies of the treating physicians. We’ll bring you more on this story once it’s settled down.
The swine were shot during the raid and BLT’s have been handed out for free to the police and medical personnel attending to the pig raped hipsters.
Hipster Rapes Pig is not news. Pig Rapes Hipster – that is news.
No longer content with cats, dogs, goldfish or the other types of pets people have owned for centuries, these fakers feel the need to raid the barnyard? Just for their own smug satisfaction – just to know deep inside their damaged, sold out, vapid souls that they’re, well, different! Wait until these pigs root up their carpet, shit liquid all over and check this out hip-turds: there’s no approved rabies vaccine for pigs. But oh well, so twee! Just put a silk hat on it, or a hip-twad fedora.
If they really want to get knee-dep in it, my in-laws would be happy to sell them a carabao to keep as a pet.
Personally I walk around the ‘Scwick with a Amazon Parrot on my shoulder. You all are haters. Barrett the Parrot even talks with me, and dare I say it, is more capable of whitty banter more than any of you barbarians on here. That black man, who got beaten by the cops in LAPD, can’t we all just get a long?
Eat a dick, faggot. I love how original you are by calling everyone a ”hater”. I see you spout out the term ”hater” like every other simple minded, mouth breathing, knuckle dragging cro-magnon. Can’t insult anyone with originality, wit and intelligence? Just call them a hater and feel satisfied, dumbass. By the way the word you were trying to use was ”witty”….
dude, he’s a sock, pulling yr leg.
Sustainable Steven is a good friend of mine, and you are a lowlife to talk about Barrett the Parrott in this manor. First you want to beat up hipsters and now me and Stevikins can’t walk around the Schwick without worrying about getting our legs put in a meat grinder by some hipster beater? Do you know what would happen to him if he did that? He would go to jail, and me and Stevy would win this website in a class action suit, and you know what we would do? CHANGE THE NAME TO http://WWW.DIEMEATHEADBULLY.WORDPRESS.COM and all the hipsters in the schwick could come on here and post photos of the losers sagging their pants with their backwards hats and skater shoes and just overall unimpressive fashion choices. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT YOU BIG JERK???!?!?
After dark, look behind you. That’s us…
“DIEMEATHEADBULLY”!!! Hilarious!
And, incidentally, exactly which black man who got the the piss beaten out of him in LA by the LAPD were you referring to? Did you mean Rodney King, Twinkie, or do all coloreds look alike to you? Fucking shitbird!!!
I thought it was Martin King who got beaten by the LAPD? Maybe if coloreds tried actually dressing fashionably instead of their saggy pants and baggy t shirts they wouldnt look the same but when they dress like barbarians, of course they all look the same. Its not racist, its fashion! geeeeez!
A parrot on yer shoulder, eh? That’s gotta draw the attention you need to boost yer self esteem. It’s gonna bite off yer nose some day, and I wish I could be there to see it, you fuck.
Honestly, though … SS, you really should go over to some hipster websites, lurk around feeling out the lay of the land for a while, and then maybe try to fire up some ridiculous new trend, like “sustainable bodily waste reutilization,” and see if they run with it. You’ve got their patois down pretty good; you’re pretty believeable.
maybe one day I’ll take Gentrified Jerry and Sustainable Steven over to some 3 ringed bullshit circus of a hipster site, but for now, they are exclusive to only die hipster. Or should I say locally sourced instead of ‘exclusive to’???
and there we have it, again, the dumbest fucking term in the English language: “haters”
I congratulate you on your whimsical and ultra-creative wardrobe choices. However, despite the parrot, you seem to be overlooked by far too many people. Might I recommend going full-blown pirate:
- Amputate your leg, and insert a
wooden broomhandle as a makeshift prosthesis.
- Gouge out your eye, for that authentic 16th century war injury look.
- and (if your really deck) raging syphillis
Holy shit. Anything for attention. I would think getting strangled by real Brooklyn people would get the attention that she so clearly craves…and without the mess! Imagine the incongruity of seeing this hog walk her hogs with Steely Dan’s “Brooklyn” as the soundtrack! That incongruity should be enough reason to light these shitsters on fire.
Wow, she’s so quirky and creative! Bringing pigs to an urban environment; I mean, look at how well it worked out for the city when the bearded hipster flyover staycationers decided to become rooftop beekeepers – record swarms for the rest of us to deal with as they became bored and unwilling to work at it as usual.
Should be interesting to see what happens with those animals when the attention dies down and the pigs no longer work as props to get her noticed.
LIKE YAH!!
It’s a shame no one is coming toward her sporting two pitbulls.
Good idea Pat. I would take my pit over there, but he would probably go after the big pig with the flip flop first.
Dewd! You’re on target. It’s about getting noticed. Mommy and Daddy will pay to clean up the mess once the limelight fades.
Which mess? The pig shit? Or the shattered remains of Pig Woman’s ego?
You know, 100 years ago there probably were pigs being raised in and running around New York but you know what? It’s two thousand and fucking twelve!!! Why can’t these fucking hipsters understand it is 2012!!! Fucking hell I hate them.
What gets me the most isn’t the fantasies that they’re living in the past and it’s 1880′s or 1920′s or 1970′s or whatever dress-up make-believe play-date they have planned for the day — that’s pretty laughable in and of itself — but the best (or worst) part for me is that they just have to photograph and film and blog and write about every single aspect of how olde-timey and retro and old-school they are on all their overpriced gadgets that were not available 10 years ago, let alone 40 or 100 or whatever.
I wish they’d all go play mesozoic era and get eaten by a giant bird-lizard…
I wish it were the ’70s when I see these trustafarian interlopers prancing around Williamsburg, Bushwick, and LES. Could you imagine what would instantly happen to Caleb in one of those hoods in the 70s?
Jaz, they would have never roamed there because the cops didn’t even go there at that time. And Lord knows, the only reason why they are here now is cuz there’s a cop patrolling these areas every 2 minutes. Like yah…
Yet, Caleb will come back to Minnesota and tell his fellow hiptards who haven’t left the area about how gritty and dangerous his life in Brooklyn is.
Very true – even if they came to visit Manhattan, and somehow accidentally stumbled upon the LES, they would be instantly robbed by the users looking for money for a fix. And there’s not a damn thing they could do about it, nor a single person they could nasally kazoo to that would give the slightest shit.
As for Williamsburg, they wouldn’t even make it out of the subway station before they’d be food. It is unbelievable how many cops are around there protecting their ‘investments’.
Did someone say ‘Caleb’? I saw this over on N. 13th Street while walking my dogs and had to take a pic.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/46896052@N00/7788879744/in/photostream/
Good lord – and now for years and years, he will be bringing midwestern family members here to show it off as his form of urban street cred.
No no – the 60s would be better. Then they’d run to Canada to escape the draft and never be allowed back.
Caleb would be picking up his teeth like Chicklets…and calling the cops to report the terrible indiscretion waged against him! The cops during the Lindsay and Koch eras would chuckle and wonder what the hell did you expect, turd?
There were farms in Brooklyn before there were hipsters. ’nuff said.
True, but Hiptards are not “farmers”. At best, they’re gardeners. I crossed paths with people who grew up as farmers during my time in the service. They were strong as bulls (“farmer’s muscles”). Hipsters run the risk of pulling a muscle when picking up a rake or shovel.
I have no problem with anyone (hipturds included) growing their own food. In fact, I encourage it. My gripe is how these morons act like they’ve “discovered” or re-invented something that’s been around since humans made transition out of the hunter-gatherer stage.
My grandmother kept a nice garden on the side of her house for years maintaining it every summer and used the vegatables for cooking. Never once did she feel the need to contact local media sources to take photos or do an article about how wonderful and unique and creative she was for doing this. This also was just one small common part of her life. What’s next? Blogs and NYT articles about these attention-seeking cockrags doing laundry? Taking naps? How to walk?
Thanks for bringing up the need among these people to notify any and everyone via social media on the most mundane details of their lives. That’s the other thing that bugs me about these people.
@warrenbobrow1 There were swamps in Brooklyn before there were farms.
There was lava before swamps.
Artisanal lava …
Totally organic, too.
I am leaving the schwick for a few days to head over to my buddys house in San Fran. You all just gave me an idea for an Organic Lava Flow that is sure to get me the respect of the Bon Vivants. You all think your being so funny but your actually helping me get major hipster points in the scene, and I network all over America, From Bushwick, to Portland, to San Francisco, to Costa Mesa, to Houston, I have a hipster following on Twitter, and soon I will be backed up by the hardest hipster crew of them all, the bon vivants. all thanks to you!
Is there not a law against that? She is walking pigs on a public sidewalk! An enviormental law? A health Law? anything? what the fuck is wrong with these pathetic assholes?
More fun when Molly pets the pretty, 1,000-pound piggy and it rips her hand off. They have a nice set of choppers, and are omnivores. Molly, meet Zane and Zoey. Bon appetit…
Looks like Red Hook’s gonna need some “Curb Your Swine” signs. Think Bloomie’ll pony up for ‘em?
I just don’t get it anymore with these fuckkng people. Normally when you live in a rural setting surrounded by open land,farms and fields and you want to get away to experience city life, you do it because well……YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE CITY LIFE!!!! Not fucking turn the city into a fucking farm. Thats the difference between urban and rural.
That’s one of the reasons I loathe these dysfunctional kidults. Back in their hometowns, they probably complained about how horrible it was. I guess the charm of the city wears off and they find themselves looking back on their childhood with their helicopter parents.
I’ve seem this bitch on Dekalb ave in Fort Greene. What a joke! The thing that pisses me off is that she looks around to see if anyone notices her. How could these people seek so much attention? I think something is psychologically wrong with them.
Wait, which is/are the pig(s)?
INVISIBLE DOG WALKING IN BROOKLYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“LIKE YAH!”
“LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
This shit was played out in the ’80s…
LOL @ Invisible dogs. What’s more funny is the not so invisible terror in their eyes when I walk my 70 pound pit bull. These punks cross the street.
Like yah, THAT’S original….
The invisible dog lease AND having pigs as pets was so 80’s. As usual, there is nothing fucking original about these people.
Do they think they’re doing something “original”? They used to sell those invisible dog leashes at every mall and gift shop and souvenir shop everywhere, these were like yah, soooo MAINSTREAM IN THE 80s, along with those fucking stupidass Baby On Board signs and those waving hands people used to put in their car windows. Why are hipsters so obsessed with the 80s?
My Precious Snowflake funemployed nephew who is 22, says he is –ugh–”curating”–a collection of underground 80s stuff. He actually said “well, it’s my era”–direct quote. I said how is that your era when you weren’t even born then??? How are you researching this-let me guess-by Google searches??? You couldn’t just ASK anyone who actually lived through the 80s underground art & music scene; a time when it was REALLY underground and not this mass-manufactured, market researched faux-indie BS that hipsters love now???
VH1 did I Love The 70s, 80s, 90s etc. so it’s not a new undiscovered topic.
He had no answer. After all, this arrogant jerk considers himself an expert curator on all things of the underground 80s even though he’s never spoken to anyone who was actually in the scene back then. He sure can’t look to his parents for anything like that. They were(are) typical stuffy uptight yuppies who look down their noses at people not exactly like them and brag and bray ad nauseum about their really expensive lifestyle they are “entitled to” (and as it turns out, can’t afford). My sister-in-law is a princess–in her own mind.
Add that to the fact that anyone who was in that scene could listen to him for 0.2 seconds and know that he’s a fucking idiot. At least he’s not a blood relative. If he was, there’d be many many Hipster Beatings until there was an End Of Story.
TELL YOUR NEPHEW I THINK HE IS A PIECE OF SHIT
These dopes have no concept of “Underground” in the real sense of the word. (Sorry but your garage with mattresses on the floor doesn’t count). If they walked into some punk club in the 70s or 80s, and act the way they do now, they would get bottles smashed in their faces and no police or iPhones to save them.
Plus the place would smell like piss and shit from their involuntary urinating and defecating when they encounter real punks for the first time in their twee lives.
Just another form of Retro Chic to the Hip’tards. Maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll pick up on chastity belts next.
Are these people naturally stupid or did they have to work at it???
Next they’ll “invent” a gag lapel flower that squirts water.
And whoopee cusions.
So when the hiptoids get bored with their swine, is Con Ed and the Sanitation Dept. going to have to deal with albino feral pigs in the sewers?
Hope springs eternal…
Those free-street pigs should probably be wearing gas masks to prevent the inhalation of bus exhaust.
In most parts of regular America, that’s dinner on a leash.
Everthing is boring. Hipsterdom is futile and useless. Your fantasy does nothing to save the world.
Were you being serious about the “Red Hook Five & Dime”? because I searched yelp on my Iphone and found nothing. My friend Riley could really use some farming equipment for his vegetable garden. Please let me know, because I’d really like to try that artisinal Jam you mentioned as well, I hope they give samples before I purchase it. I hope the protein count isn’t too high because I dont want people to think I weigh more than a fit, strapping 106 lbs. Like yaaaaaaaah
I think I can help you there, Steven; the ‘Shoppe’ is open from 3AM-6AM, but there is a little known shortcut; jump on the 3 train about 3am and get off at Saratoga & Livonia. Then ask anyone you see where you can find ‘artisanal, fair trade items’. Be sure to bring your MacBook and open it in front of the nearest bodega to check your blog. If some of the fellas start looking at you, just pull out your IPhone and take photos of them, then snap at them “what the fuck are you looking at? I’m exploring” – that will get them to leave you alone.
Good luck
Actually, not sure if the 3 stops there early morning; may have to jump on the 4. Sorry Steven; really want to help you get to Saratoga Ave.
I hope those pigs took a huge, fat shit on that bitch’s disgusting, flip flopped, stinky, ugly feet. Goddamn, lady, cover those horrible flappers up and go the fuck back to Iowa.
Cap’n Transit gits it out of the park (for dogs anyway):
http://capntransit.blogspot.com/2012/08/shit-we-cant-keep-in-street.html
Or hey, here’s a novel idea….
…stop buying dogs you can’t give any decent kind of life to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Buy a god damned goldfish, name it Spot, and get over it already!!
I’m growing an artisanal basil plant on my curated, non-sustainable terrace… That’s it. I’m going to put a cruelty-free leash on it and take it for a walk as soon as I get homeII! Total strangers will have no choice but to hipstagram/photograph the entire zany experience for me and then I’ll write a blog about how it, and will make sure to Tweet, Facebook and re-post it, LIKE, EVERYWHERE so that EVERYONE knows I have, like, a really KEWL basil plant!
I was working a job in DUMBO (a neighborhood that was literally created for hipsters) a few years back, and one of these trust fund babies had two of those potbellied pigs that she would take for a walk every morning past the construction site. We started referring to them loudly as Ham & Bacon. The owner made it clear how disappointed she was with our lack of sophistication, but I do wonder what she did when the cute little piglets turned into 800 pound animals…probably gave them to a vegan organic collective farm upstate and felt virtuous.
Love this site by the way
Nah. DUMBO was developed way before the hipsters came to town. By the time the hipsters startled to settle in Brooklyn, DUMBO was already out of their price range. You might find lots of trendy yuppies in DUMBO (perhaps trying to dress down as hipster-lookalikes) — but they’re not really hipsters.
Hey, Pig-Lady! Fuck you and your pigs!!!!
I’ll be happy to leave the fucking to you.
http://gawker.com/5932584/insane-asshole-physically-assaults-11+year+old-girl-for-lollapalooza-beach-ball?tag=wtf
Slightly related:
11 year old girl punched by an adult for a for a beachball.
The question is – who in their right mind takes an 11 year old girl to Lollapalooza?
Where was Joe Public to knee-jerk react and smash Conrad’s face in for the child’s safety? Sadly Joe Public had to put OT at a real job and support his family that day.
I didn’t even know that Lottapolooza’s concerts were still even being held!!!
Now they’re letting children in????
yeesh…
The Chicago Trib article puts Punchy’s residence as 1200 N. Lake Shore Drive, which is a lakefront highrise just steps east of Chicago’s “fabulous” Rush Street nightlife district, home of the world-renowned “Viagra Triangle,” where Chicago’s wealthiest businessmen house their Trixie mistresses in untraceable trust-owned condos. You gotta have beaucoup bucks to live there, so safe to say that Punchy’s plea of poverty was somewhat overstated – just another entitlement fuckhead who thinks he’s free to take whatever he wants from the lesser classes. Eat my fuck, asshole.
Rush street is Fabulous! Whats up with the Quotation marks? Go back to your dive bar and play darts, you blue collar meanie!
I’m not blue collar, fucktard. I’m a WHITE collar meanie.
Hmmm, I wonder if the would be featured on The Rich Kids of Instagram….
This blog is fun, I read it often to find the metric of hate for these over-educated, under-worked, privileged, whiny, attention whores.
Work brought me to your fine city for a while a few years ago and I loved living in Brooklyn; good people, great food and absolutely no farm animals in the streets (until recently apparently).
So now, back home here in Alaska, I think I found the answer to your hipster dilemma. Send ‘em North, up here, to Alaska. We have the organic, sustainable life they all claim to live.
Want dinner, nothing’s more “organic” than a 1200 pound moose. Here’s a 30-06 and a knife, don’t come back until you’re done.
Want to stay warm tonight, here’s an axe, better get to splitting. Doesn’t get any more “sustainable” than that.
Want that bear to not eat your face, better stop leaving artisanal vegenaise all over you stupid fucking mouth.
You’ll have to convince them that there are plenty of people there to see them live their rugged lifestyle.
I must admit…that’s me in that picture. LOL!
I was hoping someone would see me with my two pigs and take a picture. Preferably someone from the NY Times so they could show the world how awesome me and my urban farming fellowship really are! I wasn’t hoping to end up on this site though. How am I supposed to show this to Ma and Pa back in Arkansas?
How the fuck can you “homestead” in Brooklyn?
FYI, if you ever see a hipster who refers to himself as “Sustainable Steven” (as I am known around the ‘schwick), and you scalp my hair, it will reward you for the finest scalp bounty in all the land. My hair is long and has no split ends and I only get $150.00 haircuts. My hair is vital to my daily uniform, and I beg you not to scalp me if you ever see me in public. Id rather get beaten by that Hipster Beating man.
Please dont scalp me
Hello Steven! You should come come to my 100% sustainable, organix, free range, cruelty free block party next week in New Brooklyn! It’s open to anyone that moved to Brooklyn from somewhere else in the past 10 years! We’ll talk about new urban homesteading methods, urban gardening, urban farming, and urban cattle rearing. URBAN URBAN URBAN! We’ll even go to URBAN Outfitters! We got 3 bands on the bill too! WE couldn’t get Pomplamoose since their too busy touring the world…but we got the Freelance whales and Drew and The Medicinal Pen! As well, we’ll have face painting, a water balloon fight, balloon animals, and more! Hand Crafted Microbrews all night and Mast Brothers Chocolate all day! It’s going to be fun fun fun fun fun!
I will bring Gentrified Jerry and we make our own organic marshmallows and we can make s’mores! Drew and the Medicinal Pen is sooooo played out but I do dig their earlier stuff, before they got popular. OrganoSmores, handcrafted micro brews, This isnt going to be like that one time someone on here invited me to their electric kazoo party but ended up stuffing me in a suitcase and dropping me off the Brooklyn Bridge????? I dont care its worth the risk…Urban Outfitters is so worth it! like yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Fresh off the Bedford Avenue L Train platform. I was heading down the stairs to grab the train and I heard what I thought was a woman singing some lonesome prairie hipster song, so I whipped out my camera to capture the show and it was this guy.
UGH! Wrong link. Sorry folks.
It was this guy!
Heh what is he saying at the end?
I like to go up to talentless buskers and point to their cup of change and ask, “Is that going towards lessons?”
He said, “I really don’t like the video camera. It’s really bothering me.”
I love the first youtube comment:
“Rx: soap, razor, haircut, big-man pants, job application.”
I think I may know that commenter.
LOLLL He sounds like his balls are in a vice. I love that expression on his face at the end when you gave him ‘too much’ attention. Also notice the Megan in the begining examining one of his CDs or pamphlets to make it seem as if she is really interested in the local arts and culture scene?
I was trying to figure out where the chick was that you could hear singing. It took me a while to realize that it was Omega-Man himself.
Or maybe it’s a bearded lady?
You never really can tell with some of these try-hards…
And off-camera she threw th CD on the third rail in the hope that he’d try to get it back.
A common problem is that people get these “miniature” pigs and they turn out to be regular pigs that turn into an 800 lb. animal the size of a Harley. At that point it is no longer an “inside” pet. And then these attention whores abandon the animals.
My grand scheme is to actually build a petting zoo right in the middle of Brooklyn! THe pigs are just the first piece of the puzzle. In the near future, I’m going to bring, donkeys, llamas, sheep, and baby lambs for everyone to see! All I ask for is $25,000 on kickstarter! I would of asked Ma and Pa back in Arkansas for it…but they said I’m dead to them since they wen’t broke and had to sell their house in order to fund my awesome Brooklyn adventures in urban homesteading! Just imagine that…the first zoo EVER in Brooklyn! EVER!
Don’t forget the goats so the hipsters have something to feed and pet besides each other. Also, make sure the 25 cent feed is fully organic.
And…llama’s? Arkansas’ is not a llama state so try New Hampshire instead. But you can find many miniature horses in Arkysauce if you’re just looking to ship in from one state. Still, I think you could probably find most of what you need from the Hudson Valley area. See, you live in NY now and ought to put money into business there. Not be giving all your business to the state you don’t pay taxes in anymore…
oh…..wait…..
Watch this EFFIN Zoey slaughter the PIGS and try and sell them as artisanal Brooklyn raised pork.
Now that would be fun to watch. First, slaughter the piggy in her 24sq ft apartment. Then watch the blood and guts spew all over the place (and the poor thing squealing because she didn’t get it right first time) saturating her belongings including all Macbooks and iPhones in the room. Then, the curing, packaging, cooking and all the other lovely things you do with a slaughtered animal.
Of course the other 5 people sharing the room will think it’s so deck, so Brueklyn and blog about it and take pictures with their surviving iPhones.
Okay I don’t want to rain on the hipster hating parade….as I love marching in it too…..but small pot-bellied pigs like the ones pictured have been domesticated for a while now. These aren’t the same pigs you will find on a farm; they are specifically bred for a domestic lifestyle. While I admit I’ve never seen one in an urban environment, in the suburbs (NJ, CT, LI) there are a lot of people who own them now and for the most part it is very un-ironic and not something associated with hipsterdom/look-at-MEEEEEEism. They’re very popular with families with kids, and a lot of people say they are easier to care for than dogs. Some can be trained to use litterboxes. My aging mom wanted to adopt one and she is pretty much the farthest thing from a hipster ever.
Just want to throw that out there; it’s a bit unfair to compare this to the stupidly ironic notion of raising barnyard animals in an urban environment. But, hey, I’m sure that’s coming soon to a neighborhood near you…..
Nj ct LI ????? Are you aware we are talking about Brooklyn???????? Wake the fuck up.
I am both awake and well aware that we are talking about Brooklyn. However the general meaning I am getting from your post is that domesticating small pigs is something “quirky” or “ironic” and therefore associated with hipsterdom, and I wanted to point out that from my experience that this isn’t true. Whether it is practical to keep the animals in an urban environment is another issue entirely and not one that I have experience with to comment on. However if one was to try to raise a domestic pig in Brooklyn, I would be cautious as to automatically sound the hipster siren at them. Just a neutral point I wanted to add to the discussion…was not trying to start an argument….carry on.
But it was done in Brooklyn – that’s the point. Re-read the post from top to bottom. I acknowledge that pigs and farm life are OK with me – just not in B R O O K L Y N which associates it with hipsterdom. Wake the fuck up – again.
1. The pigs in the picture look like young Berkshires, not Vietnamese Potbellies.
2. They’re yummy fried or smoked.
3. BACON!!!!!!!!!!
This is exactly why I could never own one of these animals, because I know there wouldn’t be one morning I wouldn’t wake up wanting it to be bacon. LOL!
That little bag of pig shit she’s carrying just begs to be repurposed as a cruelty free facial scrub for this bitch.
According to NYCs 311 “It is illegal to own any pigs in New York City – potbelly or otherwise.” Somebody call the cops on her & stop this ridiculousness!
Wars, injustice, civil rights, our food quality. Just a few things that people should band together and solve. But the hipster is a mirror of what society has been carefully crafted to be. A generation of people that don’t really grow up. Don’t stand for anything. Narcism. Just plain corny. Play, play, play. Thats the mantra ey? The human adult has been conquered would you not say? Our overclass has successfully de-evolved the human being. It only gets worse from here.
I can’t wait to have a kid so I can use these assholes as a back drop for on the spot life lessons.
LOL! I Guess hipsters actually do serve a purpose (outside of being free range Soylent Green during a societal collapse).
She is saving the pigs from the monsanto slaughter house. In other news America goes down the toilet.
Yeah, I’m from Wisconsin, and it’s rather rife with hipsters. But I’d say hipsters are ruining our culture as much as anywhere else, but it’s just less evident because they’re our own spawn.
Look, it’s Lena Dunham and one of her pals, being walked by… a pig
Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin. I see Three Little Pigs. Actually two little ones and a big one.
Hhhhh. I had to talk a friend down from getting a potbellied pig a few months ago, because his kids were nagging about it. I told him how another friend runs an animal rescue in North Texas that does nothing but relocate abused and mistreated farm animals purchased as impulse pets, and she has four potbellies that were just dumped out there in the middle of the night. Yeah, it’s great that the owner gets attention for coming out with cute widdle piggies in public, but they always have problems with the fact that a typical potbelly is going to weigh anywhere from 200 to 400 pounds, and eat correspondingly. These bad owners are no different from the douches who buy a Great Dane, pit bull, or Rottweiler puppy for their efficiency apartment, and then look surprised when the dog grows up. (That goes double for the dipshits who buy reticulated or Burmese pythons, iguanas, monitors, or Gaboon vipers and then cry about how they’ve somehow amazingly become responsible for a reptile large enough TO EAT YOU.)
Don’t get me wrong. I like pigs. I kept one myself as a kid…as part of a Vocational Agriculture course in high school,. It was kept in a properly rated barn, not my house. And before anybody asks, I know people who have potbellies in residential areas,. They’ve also made damn sure to treat the pigs responsibly, and they also have enough square footage on their property to care for them properly. Sadly, it’s always the attention-seeking freaks that reflect badly on the responsible ones, which helps explain why New York had ordinances against keeping farm animals and bees in the first place.
They’re as bad as the “I wanna horsey” types. Practical realities have a way of dusting idealistic b.s. every time.
And if anyone ever says large snakes as pets wouldn’t ever turn into a problem, simply direct their attention to Florida and it’s out of control python population that is a DIRECT result of exotic pet purchasing.
Not that a pig’s ‘exotic’, but as already stated here….the environment of a dense urban area certainly is.
And I feel the same way about the scramble-brained morons that buy large dogs and force them to endure confined spaces so some good-time Charlie can feel more than half the man he actually is. Hipsters or douchesters, they’re both self-absorbed groups of a-holes.
Here in Washington, there are a lot of people who thought it would be cool to have a tank of pirahnas, realize it’s too hard or a stupid fucking idea, dump them in the nearest lake, and then act shocked when the state busts their asses. And of course, there are the urban farmer types who, after finding out that keeping chickens is more work than that twee website made it out to be.
But they pale in comparison to the self-righteous idiots who get outraged when animal control agencies are trying to deal with the hordes of feral cats. You even mention euthanasia in their presence, and you’re instantly in “worse than Hitler” territory.
We have a hipster here in Asbury Park NJ who has a pot bellied pig he walks on the boardwalk. All the other stupid hipsters gather round to pet it.
My first post and a hearty hello to all hipster haters. A modest proposal : Since this ijit walks her pigs in public it should be easy to distract her while dropping several bars of Ex- Lax within the pi gs reach. Then she returns to her 3K a month loft and hilarity ensues.
Many animals aren’t meant to survive and live in dense urban environments. Pigs are no exception. Although the idea of having a pig for a pet seems like a fun idea, it’s more like something you do when you have lots of open space like a big backyard or something…