It’s a good thing this piece mentions the one family that was displaced into a shelter; otherwise, this may have been a one sided article.
USA Today: Brooklyn is Bohemia!!!!
I mean, how much more can you kiss up to these transient, irrelevant, fauxhemian phonies? How is it just now that a national paper like USA Today has just noticed and just decided to let the country know that Brooklyn is holding auditions for the spoiled, adult infants of the nation’s suburbs to keep gentrification going strong? Thanks a lot you stupid fucks. I simply can’t believe how this article by-passes the millions of normal, non-attention seeking natives of all colors and nationalities and makes it seem as if bearded, skim milk-toned, pseudo-creative, try-hards who learned about NY through episodes of Friends back in the Flyoverlandia are the true backbone of this borough. When will the branding of Brooklyn end? The shit has to hit the fan soon.
It’s a problem the media can’t overcome. They want to sell a product, and the only way to do that is with big, loud characters. Normal people working the grind and taking care of their business aren’t glamorous enough to make people pick up the latest issue. That’s why coverage of OWS was dominated by young people who haven’t been alive long enough to truly struggle. There are plenty of middle age, middle class families who share their sentiments that don’t have the luxury of posting up in a park all day and listening to hipster indie bands. They are too busy trying to put food on the table, and that’s a boring a story for a reporter. The reporter would rather talk to the tatted up, nose ring guy who refuses to work.
Yeah, and half those OWS people they talked to are total frauds who were just out to become celebrities of some sort or another. They used OWS as a springboard for – ta da! – THEMSELVES.
“As do art students from Iowa and tourists from Helsinki, urban farmers and suburban shoppers, Swarthmore and Oberlin seniors, do-it-yourselfers and indie rockers, German graffiti writers, vegans, surfers, Manhattan writers, NBA stars.”
Get the fuck outta here with that shit! Is this a parody?
What would Ralph Kramden say about that? I wonder if these assholes are nervy enough to try the Bronx next.
What would Ralph Kramden say about that?
Bang! Zoom!
Already happening. Listen to the latest episode of John Hodgman’s “Judge John Hodgman” podcast ( http://bit.ly/MjBeWU ), in which Westchester hipsters discuss whether to move to The Bronx, or L.A. It’s definitely the new NYC Wild West for them.
I look at the bright side. Remember how you could always tell when a crash was imminent on something inexplicably popular when it was featured on the front cover of Time? Well, USA Today filled that niche about fifteen years ago. The end may come sooner than you think, my friends.
Mickey, it has to be doesn’t it?
“People I know from London don’t want to go to Manhattan,” says Kari Browne, 33, a former broadcast news producer who last month opened a cafe in the up-and-coming Victorian neighborhood of Ditmas Park. “They want to come to Brooklyn.”
How about “F**K OFF YOU C**T”. There is no way the people I grew up with in London would rather go to Williamsburg than Manhattan. I’m packing the wagon and heading west to Iowa. Logic being, Iowa is probably one of the nicest spots in the country now the c**tstains have all migrated east to Brooklyn leaving behind good, hard working, honest mid-west folks. I will enjoy my beer and hunt some deer while you lot deal with these tards.
Their PARENTS are still in Iowa, Chris – they’re the shits that literally gave birth to this nightmare and spoiled it into what it is today. Yes, there are good people in Iowa, but you’re going to go through the haystacks, cornfields and piggeries with a fine-toothed comb to find them. FINANCIAL SERVICES, such as credit card administration, has been a growth industry in flyover country over the fast couple of decades, so it’s a pretty sure bet that you’d run into more people that do that shit for a living than farm folks these days, And I don’t think that those who will, with a smile, charge you 23.99% interest for the “convenience” of not having to carry cash in your pocket can be called “good, hard working, honest Mid-West folks.” I call them SHIT. Same thing with Wisconsin … the home of many of today’s American largest insurance companies, like Sentry, Wausau, American Family … the list goes on and on. Insurance and credit card companies are some of the most legendary rip-off artists in the history of the planet. They’re all about redistributing wealth – into their own pockets from ours. Is it any surprise that these hipster fucks sprung from the loins of their employees?
Sadly, most farms were sold out to big agri a long time ago. The ones who didn’t haven’t been replaced and are too old to keep up the farming so they rent the land out to a few farmers, ( the ones who can’t get it out of their blood and are also willing to do sidework or have working partners ), who pretty much understand that without subsidies, they’d be screwed financially even more. Particularly since federal agricultural taxes are very high through the crop cycles.
Some of the older farmers would be happy to pass on their knowledge but often won’t due to the fact that younger folk,”Won’t shut their damn mouths long enough to listen because they already know it all!” [/quote]
Farming is an honest life, but a tough one and as you have all heard the spouting of hipsters about ‘growing’ already, you can see it’s also a terribly thankless one as well. The fauxmonsters grew up because of farmers but now their food isn’t ‘good enough’ and they can do better LOL Assholes.
I’ve been reading Progressive Farmer for a couple of years now, and it’s enlightening. The non-corporate farmers are still VERY large propositions, and have the cash flow problems of the agricorporations without most of the tax breaks and the cash cushion that floating stock issues provide. Sadly, this year’s drought will probably cripple them; after all, any farming is pretty much a crap shoot, and you’re betting against Mother Nature. All they can pass along to the next generation will be crushing debt. The kids will need to depend more on “horse sense” and less on fancy gadgets.
Organic farming? Prolly, because they won’t be able to afford a Roundup bath for their corn and soybeans next year. And they still have to make the payments on those quarter-million-dollar tractors.
Buy Fall wheat and corn futures now, if you can afford it. Oh, and the price of food will go up in three… two… one…
Where am I going with this rant? Corn-fed mommy and daddy’s pocketbooks are going to be empty pretty soon, and little Caleb and Megan are going to have to hustle for the first time in their over-privileged, ungrateful lives.
And when you say “hustle”, you’re absolutely right. If you think a fortysomething Hummus hanging around a streetcorner looking for a kickball tournament is disgusting, wait until he’s asking passersby “Business, mister? I’m waiting for my Kickstarter project to pay out.”
You read it as well? I’ll be damned. In my case, I’m especially sympathetic to farmers in the rest of the country, because they’re getting what Texas got last year. (And don’t think that Texas farmers are going to be able to make a killing because everyone else is getting crippled. We’re being whomped, too, but most farmers out here aren’t even close to being recovered from 2011. Don’t even get me started on the ranchers: expect the price of beef, chicken, and pork to go through the roof, too.)
Please, what you cro magnons do not understand about the culture we bring to Brooklyn is that we dont need your lame farmers! We can grow our own vegetables on our own rooftops! So what if they are grown in buildings that have asbestos in the walls, they are sustainable and organic! The only thing we really can use you barbarians for is carrying around the vegetables when we take them from the roof to the market to be sold, because my arms would rip from my shoulders if I tried lifting anything that heavy. If you tasted one of my organic ginger root hibiscus iced tea, you would all change your mind about hipsters.
You probably hate hipsters because you always got picked last for kickball when you were little, and when you see a group of refined, cultured men playing a sport you failed at, you get jealous and cant take it.
I am more athletic than you, and I have NUMEROUS participation trophys to prove it!
LOL. I like this character!
I knew you could act like a grown up. Would you care to take me up on a cup of my organic ginger root hibiscus iced tea? We can also make it hot if you prefer, Brooklyn can have some chilly summer nights, as I have found out in the past 3 weeks since I have moved here (thank goodness for scarves!). I would also like to show you some work I’ve been doing, me and my friend Shelby discovered that if you take 2 empty cans of organic (I sincerely doubt an empty can of non organic tomatoes would work as well) and tie a string to each end, you can speak into one and the person on the other end can hear what your saying if he puts his can up to his ear! We are going to revolutionize communication, and possibly monopolize it. And people say hipsters are good for nothing!
LOLOLOL!
Fuck yeah!
Call dada and poppop SS, I want in on the IPO for this when u guys hit the street. Smartphones will be rendered obsolete!
He’s good. He could actually go to a forum full of hiptards just as he is, clown their asses, and few (if any) of them would be the wiser.
SS? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I love to read this stuff. Every hipster polluting Brooklyn is one less who could be infesting my city; every bellyache from a suffering Brooklynite compensates for some of the arrogant condescending jaw flapping of New Yorkers I’ve had to listen to for years.
When I have a tummy ache, I always chew on (organic) mint grown from my buddy Rileys garden. It always makes me feel better. I suggest you try it. It could be highly enlightening.
You’re so right, Amused. We must be in the same town (the “hot new one” to move to, say all the magazines! But it’s the Noo Yawkas who are infesting us, not Hipsters, whom I don’t see how could be more patronizing)
1st, where the fuck is Ditmas Park? Never heard of it, I assume somewhere (made up real estate area) alond Ditmas Ave? 2nd, how about
a person actually born and raised in Brooklyn?
They’ve all been forced out.
lol @ Amused
I read about this in the Gothamist this morning. The author went kind of hard at USA today surprisingly enough. Was hoping you’d cover it. You never disappoint DH!
USA Today is the worst newspaper in this country. I haven’t read it in 10 years. The most generic BS paper you’ll read.
Rev Sun Myung Moon and Unification Church OWN usa today.
This generation (my generation) just doesn’t know what it’s like to really STRUGGLE.
It reminds me of some graffiti I saw back in Oakland new the University of Pittsburgh that simply said “poor punks/rich parents”. Playing to look of being some poor struggling artist while having the safety and security of well-to-do parents back home.
You know what struggling is? Actually wanting to do something with your life and doing whatever it takes to get there. If you got to live in a shitty situation before you can even get your feet on the ground…then so be it. That”s what real people do. They’re not afraid to work construction or be a janitor as long as it pays the bills and keeps a roof over their head. They’re not afraid to live in a less than satisfactory area just to stay afloat. and save money. Living in hostels, staying in hotels. Living in some trillion dollar a month apartment that’s essentially paid for by someone else is not struggling.
This generation doesn’t really take into consideration the things the generations before them did to make sure they didn’t have to struggle like they did. They just want to reap the benefits and could care less about tomorrow.
Maybe my generation has just become so selfish and self-absorbed that they could care less that they displace hard working families that have been there for generations…as long as they’re living their dream and having fun who cares about other people?
you nailed that right on the head dude… apparently the only struggle these idiots know is getting out of bed at 2pm versus 3pm and realizing they are out of smokes.
*applause*
Ripshop, that’s the best thing you’ve ever said. That was amazing. You should store that in case you get asked to make a graduation speech some time.
LOL, a friend of mine used to be a Dean of Students at a small, private college for VERY spoiled kids of this generation. He had to insert a piece in his “Welcome new students” speech to the parents that “if their light bulb is burned out, please have them call maintenance themselves–do not do it for them.”
I can just imagine how hard my mother would have laughed if I had called her about a burned out bulb in my college dorm and made her call maintenance for me.
Anybody feel like giving this screwball twenty bucks?…heh heh, didn’t think so.
http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/35/32/24_fabstractions_2012_8_10_bk_35_32.html
This just gave me rage:
“I don’t want to give away too much of what we’ll do. We’ll do things like make a big shadow to give the sidewalk a break from the heat,” said Shalom, whose Aug. 21, 23, and 28 tours are called “Fabstractions.” “Then we’ll make the biggest shadow we can with our bodies.”
Beta males. Pussies. All of them… I can’t… this makes me embarrassed for real males out there. I know there are real men left in this world… this jackoff is NOT one of them. ::RAGE::
Fagstractions. Can I say that? Y’all know what I mean.
I just don’t understand… I really don’t. How is it possible that a full-grown male adult feels it’s perfectly normal to play shadow games with his peers, in the park (in the middle of the day, during the middle of the week!!). I would understand if these were children, or if the group was aimed at children, but this… this is a prime example of the emasculated Beta Male infestation that this site calls out. Who can deny it????
I consider myself a very strong, latina woman, and I find shit like this EMBARRASSING. I feel for the REAL men out there who WORK and WORK and WORK their asses off — whether through school, a career, via their families, etc. — THOSE are real men. Not this. This is enraging. It really is.
Imagine you’re an old man in a tribe and THESE are the young fuckers that are supposed to do the hunting and protecting now!!!
“i would Chief, but ya knowwww…these arrrowwss are so pointy and stuff…and besides, can’t the squawwwsss dewww it? Then us brahs could jus’ smoke our pipes n tawk n stuffff….yahhh….”
[Jumps off cliff]
I like Greenpoint pizda. It can’t be fucking beat! No fucking way can it be beat! Nothing even fucking comes close. Noone can tell me nothing!
Hmmm, I have never heard of it. Is it on yelp? I yelp all the time. Sometimes I even review restaurants that I walk by and have never been inside (a dining establishments decor says an awful lot about it, and I am an art major and intern at my friends art studio, so I can). Are the vegetables fresh and organic? I only buy food that is locally sourced from Brooklyn, I wouldn’t trust any of those lame farmers from Kansas. You would think that since I eat organic and sustainable food, I would weigh more than 96 lbs, my Father won’t even hire me as a paperweight because I am so sickly and pathetic looking. Anyhow, please get back to me Doctor Sex, I have to go make a cruelty free scarecrow for my friend Colby’s organic garden he put on the roof of his studio. Like, ya………
Greenpoint Pizda? That place is so 45 days go! The place to go is is Josh&Megan’s in the ‘schwick! You haven’t lived until you’ve tasted their delightful artisanal hummus & bean spout pizza with delectable Mast Bros dark chocolate crumbles! For an extra $15, you can eat it on a veganaise filled crust! Like yah!
Sorry, I meant “45 days ago”. It’s just that I get so excited at the mere thought of the flavor profiles of such culinary delights. I must go and touch myself now.
O
M
G
!
I love your name Vern! My roomsie’s name is Jules and we call him OJ (short for Organic Julius, BUT we call him ‘organic’ because he lobbied to change the Name for the State of Oregon to “Organ” but got refused by meathead bully jocks in state congress).
We should so get together and go shoe shopping and maybe get some brunch?!?!? well you can eat brunch, I need to trim down my figure, I am almost 106 lbs! good heavens!
Organic Jules and Vegan Vern! Lets arrange a playdate for you 2!
LOL kind of reminds me of those Garbage Pail Kids cards. Have to think of some other names: Compost Colby; Local Logan; Bedford Brody; Hand-Crafted Hayden
Brett the Bedbug Farming Beardo
Freegan Fred
Quirky Quinn, Zany Zoey, Try-Hard Toby, Gowanus Gaby, Microbrew Molly, Dumpster Diving Dexter, Smarmy SIlas, ATM Asher, Effeminate Ethan….
I’d love to but I have to ask Molly’s (my GF) permission. She gets mad when I don’t keep her posted on my whereabouts. The only time she gets madder is when I don’t text her before coming home because she may have friends over. She doesn’t want me in the house when her friends are over. Her friends scare me. They’re mostly guys. They’re often always drunk and usually Brown or darker (although some are white, but they’re local, uncultured neanderthals!). She makes me leave when they come over. I’m not comfortable with this. Should I be more assertive and “put my foot down”? I mean, I should have some say since my monthly allowance goes mostly to her anyway.
You can still find some good pizda in a lot of places here in NYC.
I must have fallen behind on my yelp studies, the only pizda i know is a Russian slang word for snatch. You can find a lot of it in Brighton.
How about Hoboken, NJ. I did not see that on of the list of hipster infested places?
Awesome hipster trolling!:
http://www.hayibo.com/hipsters-stunned-as-vintage-cameras-fail-to-make-them-professional-photographers/
Hopefully, this type of self-realization of total failure will grip these shitstains soon, and they’ll all head somewhere else (preferably a hostile foreign country, as I’m certain the non-attention-seeking folks in the midwest don’t want them back…)
Good find! I’ve heard that Iceland is nice in the Summer. It freezes suddenly, trapping the vapid little sh*ts all winter.
Check this one out, too:
http://www.hayibo.com/cape-town-hipsters-sweat-ironically-in-post-cool-heat-wave/
Seriously, that’s what we can do with the problem. Tell the Brooklyn crew that South Africa is the place to be, and give our Cape Town brethren signs reading “Free Art Show in the Karoo Basin”. Do this every January and February, and we might get the populations down to manageable levels. The vultures in the Karoo will eat really well, too.
HAHA, epic. I’d like to see these fucks try to gentrify Khayelitsha.
I love how the article describes the Brooklyn accent as “grating.” Yeah, it just hurts the hipsters widdle feewings to hear how real people talk, doesn’t it?
These punks make me sick. There is a beta pussy who lives around me and never leashes his dog. Well, his dog runs up to my pit bull and I start screaming at him that here in the Big City, we have to leash our dogs. I further point out that if my dog were to defend himself, he would be blamed because he’s a pit and of course there is a stigma by punks like himself about pits. He responds that he never heard that before. So i called him ignorant and he says waaaaa, “why you calling me names?” If it wasn’t for the fact that I love my dog, I woulda let him off the leash to maul this fucking punk bitch. How’s that for “grating” you hipster trash. Welcome to Brooklyn.
Holy shit, this twatwaffle apparently became a millionaire through Kickstarter, but click on the
video and you will see some truly nauseating, heinous something or other, I don’t know what to call it….
http://gothamist.com/2012/08/14/gothamist_house_presents_amanda_pal_1.php
Sigh. No wonder she got the money. She’s Neil Gaiman’s wife, and damn near every shitty vampire fiction writer wannabe will throw down bills at anything Gaiman endorses, even for a second.
I wish I could remember where I saw it but it was along the lines of a Business Report article. Anyway, the prediction was that brands like Urban Outfitters would be ‘dead’ ( serious stock decline ) by the end of 2012, nlt Spring 2013.
All the big media players are pandering to hipsters because they’re liars too. They speak the same language.
The hipsters are not ‘core’. It’s pretty easy to tell someone who’s really an artist of some sort. For one, they long accepted that near total obscurity is their fate and they stay with it. So, they will be 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, dead as an Artist. For two, now I wish I hadn’t started this listing shit, but no adult artist worth a damn lives off their parents after the age of 18. I’m not talking emergencies, I mean trustafarian-fauxhemians which is what THE VAST MAJORITY of these neo-hippies are. They are the disco dancing, coke blowing, swingers in pleated pants of tomorrow. For three, one of the reasons there’s some truth to the stereotype of ‘thinkers’ in some field never have had tremendous fashion sense or dress with an odd flair a la Wilde or Dali or Einstein is that they don’t put all that much time into picking out clothes because they’re actually DOING things and they often don’t stop or change that thing simply because the times do.
The majority of this herd will all herd together into some new, more mature but equally shallow ‘trend’. Ask one of these ‘tards if they could handle the following scenario:
You’re 45 and still live in the city. Most of the people/peers in your generation are living in the burbs now with their midgets. They are on their 3rd or 4th new house, have two shiny new cars, and talking about buying a vacation home in Miami for their wintering years.They’re in upper management in their careers. You have none of this, you’re in your 40′s, and you still aren’t a world famous ‘artiste’. Now, are you OK with that scene or do you suddenly have a sick feeling in your stomach?
The answer says it all, if you can get an honest, sober one out of them.
Heh. Even better is when they’re in their fifties and had to move back home with their parents. At that point, it goes beyond sick feelings in the stomach and turns into Hershey squirts. “But Moooooooooom! I’ve GOT to stay in Portland! I’m working for free at the feminist nonprofit bookstore, but it’s proving that I have bookselling skills! I’m going to get another bookstore going one of these days, once someone else gives me the money! I just KNOW it!”
When they’re in their fifties their parents will be in long-term care, which will own all their assets. Bye bye checkie-poo…
How about a story about snobby fucking dicks “NOT FROM BROOKLYN” who push out low income minorities “FROM BROOKLYN” out of their apartments due to paying jacked up rents while pawning off shit coffee shops, shit beer, shit art, shit music, shit clothing and shit fucking everything else about them as ‘BOHEMIA”!!!
Word! Nothing more I can add.
The R train was messed up today so I had to walk for 2 miles through downtown brooklyn. Freakin 4th ave is hipster central now too!!!
http://thecaptainpower.blogspot.com/2012/08/summer-update-crossfit-is-still-gay.html
I feel your pain. I live in Halifax Nova Scotia Canada. A hard working working port city complete with Canada’s east coast naval fleet. Three universities, an art school and a few technical and community colleges means that in a few weeks… this place will be teaming with them. And it gives a bad name to the 10′s of 1,000′s of regular hard working students who just want to go to school, work hard and have a little fun. They take over playgrounds with their impromtu jam sessions, the litter the streets with their trash and ride around on bikes that believe me are not built for our roads. And if you have ever hit a pot hole in this city you know what I mean.
The only joy we get is the first fight of the school year. Where we pick a tard and commence on executing a perfect 10 flying drop kick to the said fuckers chops.
I fucking hate these people with a passion. And have so many gripes on the shit they do and the overall pain in the ass that they are I could go on all night.
Thanks for this site, it has given me much pleasure knowing that hatred for these twats is universal.
I was in Halifax not long ago. The red bearded grover bodied art yuppies were running a circus school there.
How come they don’t mention that Brooklyn always had a strong culture independent of NY, as it was an independent city,10 years senior untill 1898 when it was hoodwinked into joining NY as they needed housing,Brooklyn needed water from THe Catskill waterways , and the English in Gravesend were bought off. The way this article, compares Brooklyn to New Jersey of past is foul and shows the writer projecting his subjective impressions as fact(Perhaps a typical Hipster schmukiness). Everything has always come from Brooklyn,only when it takes off it makes it to the other city across the water and eventually to an unknowing world.
Hipster Hate, Fuck you you pompous know nothing,read a book. Read Whitman,go to an area other than the selected enclaves where the hordes that exhibit no sense of individuality ,and see a city so vibrant and unique, so outspoken,so passionate,and guess what schmuck, it always was that way. How dare you insult The Grand City of Brooklyn,so regal in the north, so pastoral and coastal in the south. You mention the French saying that something is Tre Brooklyn. Well you show how dim you are.Since the advent of cross Atlantic travel, Europeans have been exulting Brooklyn. The traveling Italian Opera companies only played in Brooklyn in the 19th Century(NY didn’t have an opera house) The president of France visited Brooklyn in 1922 to exult the opening of the Coney Island boardwalk,the worlds largest, built for the proletariat, being torn down this year. The list goes on. But why should you bother to pick up a book of history or talk to anybody in Brooklyn who doesn’t run some newfangled gallery, or cafe for smug snobs. You have insulted Brooklynites by claiming were some no mans land, dark and empty in the shadow of the parking lot city across the river until we were miraculously discovered and saved by the Hipsters. Have you ever seen them in mass. They have no personality.While I am happy they bring money to my city,to claim them as cultural beacons shows a lack of aesthetic in extremis .
So Fuck you.
“Hipsters stunned as vintage cameras fail to make them professional photographers”
► http://www.hayibo.com/hipsters-stunned-as-vintage-cameras-fail-to-make-them-professional-photographers/
Whiners! HAHAHAHA!!!
.
This article made me sick. Making it seem as these fake fucks saved Brooklyn and made it a new wonderful, artsy, creative and happy place. The way they make Brooklyn sound like its always been nothing but a joke until Caleb the bearded crusader swung down from his rooftop farm on a cruelty free, hemp infused rope to save Brooklyn. This article had basically shitted on Brooklyn and its REAL residents. Yeah Bushwick was crime ridden along with the other neighborhoods they have assimilated. But they force everyone out. Come on, a famIly in a shelter because the rent went up due to these staycationing pieces of shit. This is just wrong and it needs to stop.
Lmao @ “Caleb the bearded crusader swung down from his rooftop farm on a cruelty free, hemp infused rope.” Too funny. This blog is the only thing that lets me keep my sanity when I see these freaks every day.
Watch it DH! My “skim-milk toned” Irish family has been in Brooklyn since the early 1800s! I cannot stand the hipster invasion either but choose your adjectives wisely. I believe us skim milk toned ones were here before the WOPs and Ricans arrived!