They’re trying to creep down! Slowly but surely they are pushing their fucking way further south into Brooklyn. Why??? Because of lower rents and ethnic places? BULLSHIT!
Link: WSJ names Kensington HOTTEST New Neighborhood.
Because wherever they go – the rents skyrocket and all ethnicity disappears only to be replaced by phony homogenized make believe hipster ethnicity. Some sleeve tattooed, bearded ”Zach the Chef” from Wiscomichikota will begin “fusing” foods together for Sunday NY Times articles. Hemp baby-sling Zoey and Ethan will be picketing for stroller friendly beer halls. Kyle and Molly will be demanding more bike lanes that stay empty 95% of the day. Hayden and Holden will be plucking away at their banjo and upright bass on Church Ave. DAMN! I HATE THESE MOTHER FUCKERS!
I’m telling you right now you nasally hipsters of the corn; you gentrifying pieces of shit: YOU BETTER PAY ATTENTION TO THIS MAP. PAY CLOSE FUCKING ATTENTION and STOP “pioneering and exploring” and ruining still-normal Brooklyn for us bland/cultureless/non-whimsical native people. The hipster beater will find you. Mark my words.
Mother fuckers is right. This would have never happened when we were in Bensonhurst. They would have been hung from the swings in Seth Low park or beaten so badly they would have spread the word not to go to brooklyn. Maybe we can organize Hipster Hit Squads???
Sally, you’re exactly right. My family and I lived at 1620 W. 13 Street (between Ave. P and Kings Highway; some how) for many years — 1/4 block from Seth Low Playground. Beta Boys would not have survived.
Move back there!
They’re like zombies without the threat of being eaten alive unless you’re organic and fair trade. They follow each other around with no thought other than thinking that we’re uncultured slobs who need an infusion of their quirkiness. You stupid motherfuckers, we’re New Yorkers!!!! People come to visit US, not some no name shithole town in bumfuck Idaho.
They believe culture is that crap that oozes out from their ears. For fucks sake they’ve invaded LIC, Astoria, Woodside and Sunnyside…maybe not to the degree of Brooklyn but they’re every bit as annoying and whiny in their thinking that we need to cater to them.
I hate to annoy you further, but Florida is full of NY’ers who have annoyed the natives down there for decades. Take some comfort in that
Best title ever.
A think tank needs to be organized.
Bitching about hipsters is like kryptonite to me. I get so taken in by it, it is like staring lost into a black hole… I am hypnotized by it. And those black rectangular glasses, I hate those the most. I just want to tear them off their smug faces and smash them into pieces all over the ground…
But, an actual think tank needs to be organized in secrecy, in order to get results. Take into consideration the amount of hipster strongholds already, and the sheer size, complexity, and history of New York City, it is simply too grand of a scale.
I think there are solutions to counter hipster infestations. In order to control hipsters it requires an actual diabolical plan, it requires theory, and invention.
Hipsters are the most easily manipulated bunch of mindless sheep in the world today. So far, the resistance has been a losing battle. They started in brooklyn and now they are nation wide. It seems everything done up until now has not worked. I think we need to reverse our reactions to these hipsters. Because they appear to respond favorably to opposition. In fact, they appear to thrive as a group on any opposition.
Also, hipsters are very open to share with people the things they do not like. They do not shop or eat at so-and-so because of whatever-lamo-reason. Or they refuse to listen to Band X because of this-lamo-reason. That is actually good because they freely offer up a ton of info about places and things that they want nothing to do with! Plus, since every hipster has the same exact likes and dislikes, its a no brainer.
I honestly believe that hipsters are, for lack of better words, genetically mutated minds, they were targeted, they were developed, and devised, by a think tank, in order to pussify North America and Canada…
And so when one door closes, another is opened. But sometimes we stare at the closed door too long, we wait too long and do not notice that new opportunities are all around.
Well, what does your secret think tank look like?
BTW, I don’t buy into the whole hipsters ‘pussyifing’ things. I don’t know one possessor of a pussy that’s as weak, effeminate, and oblivious to the lives of others as the hipster beta male. Most women I know would chew them up and spit them out again as bag boys.
What they’ve done is abandon altogether the ideals of manliness which retain any sense at all of responsibility for the protection and survival of their women and children. Their women do their fighting for them; their women do their income production for them; their children teach them instead. ( I actually heard a hipster infected fliptard say that once about his kid…”He teaches ME.”…..terrific Dad, your kid has to teach YOU. Wonderful…christ…); and they rationalize every deviant thought and behavior they can imagine having with the over-arching illogic you’d expect from just about an faux-hemian liberal idiot. “I’m EXPERIENCING things…”
I’d like to experience these beta males going back home to work on the farm or work the hardware store while raising three little brats. Maybe they’d appreciate their neanderthal, ass backwards parents more themselves.
There’s two options with these locusts…provide the food they trample or wait for them to land and hit them with the crop dusters…
If it brings you any peace, I can tell you with absolute assurance that there are still many pockets in L.A. that no hipster will step foot in, especially after sunset. They’re not going to move into places that even the cops are afraid to patrol. Unfortunately, the violence is very real. If you could convince the residents to merely PRETEND these things while actually not exploiting each others poverty, that would be ideal. But you can’t talk sense into a noodle knockers mentality. Just know that mentality will fully prevent any hipster invasion whatsoever. It’s not posturing on any level nor idle threats.
Looking at that map, I have no idea where are you guys going to go? Looks like they’ll either drive you out or into the sea.
Ever see that move with Nicholas Cage called 8mm {http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0134273/}
?
There is a scene where Dino Velvet says:
[I] “Machine…kill them…kill them all!”[/I]…that’s how I feel
This one fits even better:
Hell, I swear, every time I read one of DH’s post, I keep hearing Joe Pilato’s voice.
Yeah!! Stay in Williamsburg, you shish kebab skewer-armed, President James Garfield-bearded, pogo-stick polo-playing, artisanal pickle brine-swilling morons!
I’ve never actually been to Brooklyn; I live in North Carolina. I’ve been reading this blog an awful lot, though.
LOL!
That about sums up 90% of the posters here.
Minus that specific state. Whereabouts in NC? You might want to avoid Asheville and Charlotte.
Can you think of anywhere else?
I live in Charlotte and the hipsters tend to stay in their own little ghettos. The golf-shirt, khaki and loafer set tends to predominate around here. There’s a bleak little hipster outpost north of Uptown called NoDa with a few art galleries and coffee shops, nothing that looks like it will spread.
Since home prices are low here people tend to buy rather than rent. Gentrification around here looks like contractor signs in the front yards of a formerly sketchy neighborhood of charming 2 bedroom 1940s ranch homes, remodeling them to look like Arts and Crfts bungalows. Many have porches, perfect for Caleb to sit out front with his fedora and strum his ukulele.
Damn I live in Charlotte as well and I never see these fucktards in my life
North Carolina here too…I actually spent a few months in Kensington myself earlier this year (right off Coney Island Ave/Ft Hamilton Pkwy…across the street from the stables)…I used to see the rare beard-o hipster every now and again, probably because of that gentrifiers magnet The Brooklyn Commune (you wouldn’t see a single native New Yorker in there EVER) and that stupid overpriced liquor store Juicebox where the cheapest bottle of whiskey is $20 and turned their noses up at anyone who wasn’t a white yuppie…seeing this headline on my favorite blog just kills me inside!! I can’t believe the hipsters are going that far south…
I saw some fool ass beardo on my walk tonight around Dyker Beach Golf Course. Naturally, he had on a long sleeved plaid shirt and the worst, skinniest, most horrendous jeans of life. He also may have been wearing tap shoes, no really. He was with some broad who obviously was either drugged, dumb, blind or too stupid to realize this Virginia Slim 120 was not in fact a real boy. His hands were all over her which aside from making me want to start retching immediately, led me to believe he was probably comparing her body to his and jealous she had more definition then he did. I could have broken this tool over my knee and I will forever be in awe that any women of sound body or mind finds these wastes of flesh attractive. I almost hope they made it far enough to walk past Scarpaci Funeral home so they realized how far from their hipster den of artisinal bat guano they were.
Haha! I’ve also started to notice an influx during the summer months. I think they are just exploring because I thankfully never see the same ones twice.
Ah, the grand question. Who ARE these women who find these linguini-limbed men attractive? OK, here’s my theory…
The answer lies in the lack of self-esteem/confidence many people have these days. In the female case, the women with low self-esteem will be attracted to lesser males because those women are afraid to be exposed by a strong man. A strong man will not put up with bullshit in a relationship — which is what a woman with low self-esteem with deliver every time. So these wimpy women find safety with wimpy men.
And men can be just as bad, of course. Men with low self-esteem either become pseudo-alpha males (you know, the guy who acts like a bad ass yet no one respects) or wither into beta-maleness. OK, but that’s happened for decades, right? But these days, with so many young adults having been raised their entire childhoods getting trophies for participation rather than for excellence, there’s now an added layer of “false confidence” that had never existed before. “False confidence” + “low self esteem” = likely male hipster.
I’ve already touched on this on here.
Simply put, hipsterettes are just apart of that larger generation of American women that have been spoonfed every god damn thing from who to date to what to wear from magazines like Cosmopolitan and Bazaar. Have you ever seen the topics that are on these magazines just waiting in line at a store? Sometimes I read that shit and I just shake my head cause it really makes women seem dumb. I really was keen to this idea when back in high school one of my friends pointed me towards this magazine called “Bitch”, Very feminist indeed…but It was eye opening for me as a man to see a different perspective on those type of magazines that really capitalize off of making women insecure in order to sell products.
You’re right though…they latch on those these “men” (I use that term very loosely with thesse dudes) because they can push them around and they won’t talk back for fear of being deemed as brute/sexist/misogynist/etc. As well, I noticed that the hipster look is bing pushed heavily in those magazines…HEAVILY! Most of the men featured in those womens magazines all look like hipsters…tight jeans, tight shirts…It makes me think that somehow there is a plot to destroy the image of men period! Look at the ads on the subway, in the stores. It reminds me of Fight Club exactly…a generation of men forced to become consumerist me monkeys that can’t build, fight, or fend for themselves. I wouldn’t call it a conspiracy if the fashion industry and everyone else associated with them wasn’t pushing this so heavily!
And the men give into it. They think they’re being progressive and cutting
edge…whereas everyone is laughing at them. There is nothing admirable about a man walking down the street with his woman who obviously has his balls in her $5000
coach bag.
They don’t get with real women because they’re intimidated by them and vice versa.
What’s so appealing about a 6’4″ guy that weighs 130lbs soaking wet that could get his ass kicked by 13 year old girls? Really? Because he’s “SAFE”? There are plenty of SAFE men out there who can take care of themselves and other people…but because they don’t look like hipsters or whatever image of poisoned manhood is being championed in Cosmopolitan….they aren’t even on their radar. Once these ladies’ NYC adventure ends with them being submersed in debt, not finding their Mr. Big or Devendra Barnhardt lookalike that’s like all deep and into like art and like poetry and
like writes songs and like tours and like is a famous musician like ya that keeps their unrealistic lifestyle going…they’ll go to Los Angeles, then San Francisco, then Miami,
and once they run out of hip metro US cities to go to, they’ll probably try and fail overseas.
I got to apologize for the extreme amount of typos in this…but I had a brainstorm and didn’t really think to proofread this. Just in case somebody tries to use this against me…LOL!
Hey – it shows passion!
Meh, I’m not buying into the whole Adam blaming Eve logic of “it’s all the womens faults” because that’s just an inverse of beta male hiptard justification for abandoning masculinity altogether.
I think it’s just pure, unadultered self-serving laziness. And it’s their laziness that keeps them pushing responsibility for their own lives off onto their parents or their girlfriends or their equally retarded buddies that they share knitty caps and frappacinos with. It’s their laziness that keeps them from showering and from paying their bills on time. It’s their laziness that has them using their girlfriends clothes instead of going out and buying their own. You can’t blame that kinda shit on their women. Neither can they.
A lot of hiptard women are kinda fat though and maybe being with a skinny white boy makes them feel skinny too. No idea. But it probably has more to do with equal superficiality. I bet alot of those women know deep down they are going to leave the city soon after getting married or get married soon after they leave, and they don’t want to raise kids in the city for too long. They may feel that if they marry a city native that they will be ‘stuck’ and won’t ever get home to kentuckyana’s mid-way life.
You interpreted my theory completely wrong. NOWHERE did I even insinuate “it’s all the womens faults”. I blamed the problem on GENERAL the lack of self esteem these days, and then I described how that lack of self esteem applies to women and to men individually.
(That should read “on the GENERAL” — not “on GENERAL the”)
I don’t think they lack self esteem, necessarily. They’re willing to live their entire lives as a direct insult to much stronger people, and they lack the self-awareness to understand why that’s a bad idea anyway.
The problem is that their self-esteem is very fragile. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you keep telling someone that self-esteem is a terribly fragile thing, that’s what it will become in their case.
And they have worked out that if you complain about a lack of self-esteem, you can get sympathy from others without earning it. They’ve never succeeded in being strong in any sense of the word, so they give up trying and decide they want to be weak instead. They want to be weak.
That explains why they’re hated, and why it’s impossible to get them to understand why. You keep having to remember that you’re talking to people who want to be weak. That is such an alien mindset for normal people, whether we’re weak or strong ourselves, that we’re never going to understand it. It’s like the old joke, “how do you punish a masochist?”
You don’t have to be a tough guy or a bully or a meathead to object to hipsters. You just have to be someone who does not like being a victim and doesn’t want to be seen as one. As recently as ten years ago, pretty much everyone fell into that category. All we’re really asking for is a return to that way of thinking.
In fact, as your comment pointed out, they’re really just what you end up with if someone starts taking the path to becoming a bully (pseudo-alpha male), but goes off in a slightly different direction. They’re passive bullies who look for safety in numbers, and their method of bullying is to accuse everyone else of being a bully.
I like that! Well put.
It’s parenting pure and simple but it all started many years agowith the media and feminism – like water dripping on a stone.
If you watched the Olympics, you may have noticed a several commericals in heavy rotation where the athletes thank their mothers for getting them to the Olympics. Proctor and Gamble had a set where mom gets the kids up, does laundry, makes them breakfast, hauls them to practice….the finale of course is them at the Olympics. The ad ends with the words, “Thanks, Mom”.
WTF? Where’s dad? Oh yeah ..he’s working two jobs to pay the 40K a year for gymnastisc lessons. He’s the one who takes you to practice on the weekends, drives for 6 hours on a Sunday to get you to a meet, mows the lawn and fixes the car because every penny goes to making you an exceptional athlete.
To say I blew a head gasket is an understatement. Watch any sitcom and dad is always the clueless doofus with his ‘nads in mom’s backpocket. No wonder P&G put out those commercials.
And the current crop of cruelty free pipe cleaners are going to change all of this – for the worse. because they’re the one’s who are gonna be sitting home and taking their kids to practice. So when the Olympics decide to let kickball, latte foam art and skee ball in as a competitive sport, we’ll see a comemrcial with beardo Josh waking his kid up at noon, running into the backyard chicken coop for eggs, then takes little Quentin down to the coffee shop. Fast forward 12 years, and you see a huge nasally crowd in an olympic bar cheering some d*8chebag with a cupcake tattoo and a ski cap pouring 5 olympic rings into latte foam. he looks up at the camera and bleats:
“Thanks, Dad!”
“Watch any sitcom and dad is always the clueless doofus with his ‘nads in mom’s backpocket.”
+ 1000. And remember THIS horrific ad at the height of the housing bubble? It’s perfect example of that you’re saying: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcTjhXSmnmc&feature=related
Amen. Google “The Misandry Bubble”.
Whoa. That’s a helluva read.
“Watch any sitcom and dad is always the clueless doofus with his ‘nads in mom’s backpocket.”
Watch just about any tv commercial and it’s the same thing. Particularly the Subaru ads. The male is always a bearded, stumbling, clueless dork, while the woman is the wiser, superior being who has to simply just smile and try to tolerate the bungling, beta male fool she suffers.
LOL I always wonder that too. What are these women that can date these bearded Q-tips? Aren’t they afraid he’ll steal her jeans? If I wanted to date girls, I’d be a lesbian.
The white people that I have known from work (yep, they have jobs) that moved to brooklyn live there because the rent is cheap and they can have enough money left over to pay their student loans. capitalism and supply/demand. it will continue spreading, 20 years from now all of brooklyn will be gentrified. turning the area into a faux manhattan.
No big mystery there.
http://vimeo.com/25763638
The WSJ is just as behind the times as the NYT. Kensington has been gentrified since at least 2008. What Bushwick is to Williamsburg, Kensington is to Park Slope. I guess the media doesn’t consider it gentrified until it’s SUPER gentrified.
Getting back to that red line in the graphic above, they’re already below it, at least on weekends. Apparently some genius is running a ferry over from somewhere else in Brooklyn (or Manhattan) and now there are throngs of these idiots running all over one of the real treasures of Southern Bklyn/Queens- Ft. Tilden (they also bike in over the Gil Hodges bridge). WTF happened? Where did all of these idiots come from all of a sudden? How did they find out about this area. No one gave a rat’s ass about this place (thankfully) and now it’s been invaded by these utter douchebags who are clearly not from anywhere near NYC. How can we get them to leave? How can we get them to stop coming? Fuckers…
It’s articles like this that bring this people on their “discover New York” trips… http://gothamist.com/2012/05/25/five_great_local_beaches_you_can_ge.php#photo-3
Yes, I saw that article. In the same paper (diff. day) there was an article about the ferry, or was it the bus? Either way I still cannot fathom how literally hordes, and I mean a never ending stream, of these douchebags were descending on Ft. Tilden. My disgust at the ruination of a great place know no depths. As someone else pointed out in another thread, once you get this kind of pop. increase the city (and in this case the Fed. gov’t) has to start prioviding facilities, and then it’s just all downhill from there. If I have to ride over that bridge again, battling these locust-like douches, one (or more) is ending up in the water….just sayin…
based on my last 50 years in San Francisco, I’m sorry to say you guys are doomed. Unless you come up with something the locals in SF missed, which is easy to imagine. I wish you luck and strength. I know how bad it is, the stuff written here is just what we were saying when I was a kid in formerly diverse, formerly blue collar SF.
Funny you should say that. I’ve been noticing Williamsburg becoming more and more like The People’s Republic of wacked out San Francisco for some time now.
Ah, San Francisco. So sad. Once just a charming city, now a haven for pretentious people.
I’m sure Die Hipster will be very happy about the latest piece in USA Today: http://content.usatoday.com/dist/custom/gci/InsidePage.aspx?cId=desmoinesregister&sParam=57038550.story
I printed out a copy of that article and wiped my ass with it.
In all seriousness though, if you’re actually worried about this, fight for rent control and stabilization. As long as Rents blast through the roof the minute a neighborhood becomes remotely popular, NYC will see this constant turnover, movement and flux, not because people want to move, but because everybody, at all points on the income scale, is constantly chasing their sustainable rent point, and if the rents are constantly going up, the neighborhood you live in has to change, so you go from LES->Wburg->Prospect Heights ->Bushwick ->East NY->a buoy off of Coney Island etc. You want the crowds to stay in Manhattan? Fine. Whenever you find a neighborhood in Mhttn that anyone can actually afford to live in, let the rest of us know.
Yeah man…. I walked past the line on that map but before I stopped and farted on it. Yeah… you heard me… and… I bought a house below the line. Yeah… a whole house. My mom gave me the money for it. My band is gonna practice all night down there. I also prance around town dressed like a clown with the red nose and everything. HAHAHAHHAHA… I am opening a fart shop around there. You locals can buy my bottled farts. I’m gonna have different flavors and shit. I’ll send some of the money back to my pa pa back in Wisconsin! HAHahahahHAa! You can’t stop me! You people are pussies! Whining on a blog! You can’t say shit to people’s faces… HAHAHAHAHHAHA! You can’t stop my shit! You can’t even post a picture of yourselves! You guys are pussies! You ain’t shit. Best regards, Doctor Sex
Oh… and one more thing… whilst I prance around town… I always stop when i find a person I perceive to be a “real new yorker” and blow a metal clown horn in the face of that person (i give it two gingerly toots to get their attention) . I then wipe my boogers on them while staring deeply into their eyes to see if they would start shit with a man dressed as clown. They don’t say shit! They just take it! HAHAHAHHAHAHHA… then i guess them come cry here…. ooooh booohhh hoooo… hahahahahahahahha… suckers…
NOOOOO!!!!! There’re coming around HERE?! I haven’t seen them around here yet, though. I live on W 9th between Kings Highway and Avenue P. Thank goodness this house is owned by a large family of Russian immigrants who aren’t likely to start bringing hipsters in.
I saw a hipster in Washington Heights not too long ago. He was standing there in the heat with all kinds of freaking clothes on while two shirtless Dominicans were laughing at him. He looked scared, until his girlfriend came out of some store and joined him. Then they scurried off to who knows where.
They’ve already established a spreading bacterial colony around the Cortelyou Road station on the Q line, and they were already creeping into Midwood by the time I moved from there to Gravesend. I’ve even seen a few of them walking around Gravesend, for shit’s sake.
They’re like bedbugs – once you find one, you know it’s only a matter of time before they’re everywhere.
If there is a subway station and no culture as they define it, sadly they will eventually come. With Emperor Bloomberg and the bike nut in charge it is inevitable. For fuck sake we now have a 6 1/2 avenue. How fucking pathetic is it that New York, the greatest city in the world now has something you would expect to find in Harry Potter? I am surprised they have not come in droves to the end of the L line yet. Though, I have seen a sporadic number of them rummaging through garbage cans on Avenue L over the past year.
Let’s post an article in one of those hipster papers about how Brownsville and Canarsie are the next big thing. Then we can wait outside of the train station and beat the iShit out of them. They’ll love it! “Experiencing Brooklyn”
My thoughts on the Brooklyn hipster infestation are as follows:
I myself am a hipster faux artsy type, so I understand the impulse to want to chill at coffee houses and trendy bars and open fusion food carts and see indie rock and communal art projects and all that shit. What I don’t get, and what pisses me off about the Brooklyn invasion is this:
Every medium sized city in the USA already has a neighborhood of it’s own fill with hippies and waifish, androgynous, pseudo-intellectual beta-males like myself. In my city, Albuquerque, NM that neighborhood is Nob Hill. I don’t need to move to Brooklyn for all the shit I’m into because I can just live in Nob Hill. I may be self indulgent and fauxhemian, but I’m not selfish enough to flock to a working class neighborhood with a unique culture and heritage of it’s own and try to make it into Nob Hill.
If people started flocking to Burque and gentrifying the South Valley, our oldest working class Hispanic hood, raising rents for families who’ve lived here generations, and replacing our hole in the wall tacquerias with $20 a plate Paella restaurants, I’d be fucking furious. So I can only imagine how you feel.
There are already places for people who are into the shit I’m into to congregate. Hell there are entire cities like Austin, TX and Portland, Or which have been hipsterized for decades already. Go there if you need to move cause Newton, KS doesn’t have even a Nob Hill. Ruining someone else’s shit by trying to transform it in your image is selfish, arrogant dickishness, and you’re right, it needs to stop.
I’m going to go have a cider from the local orchards in my hideous neon sunglasses at night on my wicked witch of the west bike now, but we’ve always had Nob Hill, I don’t need Brooklyn, so you won’t find me there trying to change your hood anytime soon. Cheers.
Wow. Great stuff.
As one of the silent-but-daily readers I wanted to say kudos! I found this site when I was googling for photos of hipsters who have been hit by cars. (no joke.) but I’ve been a fan and partner in misery ever since.
Philadelphia is right behind you in rooftop beehives, summer wool beanies, artisanal vegan ice cream, and rock paper scissor league. Yes. Competitive Rock, Paper Scissors. God help us all.
Wall Street Journal, a high end ‘elite’ newspaper with award winning reporters, taking interest in a Flatbush Neighborhood? Wow.
OK, this is seriously sad. My elderly great-aunt and great-uncle have had the same apartment in Kensington since they got married over 50 years ago. Time for us to start patrolling the red line!