Somebody in LA found this great Craigslist rant and sent it in:
To The Girls of Echo Park – m4w (El Ay)
Date: 2012-07-25, 3:02PM PDT
Reply to: bgv93-3162948350@pers.craigslist.org
After seeing places in this world where people live in tin shacks with no electricity or running water and literally eat the sun-baked gravel for survival of the barest degree, I find the lifestyle and values of this group of people reprehensible. And the fact that there are so many publications and facets of the media — like the LA Weekly, for instance — that seem to not only cater to this subgroup, but lionize and proselytize about the shitty music and faux-art that they produce must be sure sign of the impending downfall of the U.S., if not the Western world as a whole.
We here have been given everything, there is no excuse for ignorance and apathy. None. Take your shitty music with no balls, your mumblecore films and sub-Warhol pop art bullshit and go back to Oregon, Washington or Minnesota. And tell your hipster douche bag boyfriends to buy a razor, a comb, and some pants that didn’t come off the girl’s rack – you fucktards. I’ll be laughing my ass off when you’re working in the mines for your Chinese overlords. Thanks for pissing an entire generation away.
” Take your shitty music with no balls, your mumblecore films and sub-Warhol pop art bullshit and go back to Oregon, Washington or Minnesota. And tell your hipster douche bag boyfriends to buy a razor, a comb, and some pants that didn’t come off the girl’s rack – you fucktards. I’ll be laughing my ass off when you’re working in the mines for your Chinese overlords. Thanks for pissing an entire generation away”.
BRAVO!!!!!!!! The best line? Thanks for pissing an entire generation away!! That sums it up perfect.
I just turned on my computer and went directly to this. My day will continue to be fantastic. Thank you, thank you thank you. I feel so much better now.
“I’ll be laughing my ass off when you’re working in the mines for your Chinese overlords”
Korea, China. Whatever.
That’s already happening, indeed.
“sure sign of the impending downfall of the U.S., if not the Western world as a whole.”
Can’t say I agree with this. After all, the Western World has suffered the rise and fall of the Parisian bohemians, the hippies, and Maynard G. Krebs before this lot. And like their cultural ancestors, the “bliss” that they build will end up turning around and biting them. It always does. In the meantime, we can just keep on doing our thing and wait for the inevitable other shoe to drop. And when it does, just think about how great it will feel when the neck tat beardo comes to your job looking for work and you get to tell him (with a straight face) “I’m so sorry but we’re not gonna be able to offer this position to you, Mr. Beardo.”
Hats off to whoever wrote this. It’s all true.
Funny how West Coasters want to send them back to Oregon & Washington. Yet Culdesac-ians from Minnesota piss of both coasts.
)
That was my first thought too. No matter where in the country you talk to locals about hipsters, they always seem to come from Minnesota.
I’d apologize, but I’m happy they’re not here anymore.
FUCK THESE MOTHERFUCKERS
Check it out.
““As far as I can see, every bit of development and rezoning from Giuliani to Bloomberg has only served rich and upper-middle-class people …” wrote Choire Sicha in the Awl. “The development, while adding needed dwelling units, has had profoundly negative impact on middle-class and not rich people. And it’s had a profound impact on neighborhoods: what happens to your rent when there are $6,400 one-bedrooms all around you?”
http://www.salon.com/2012/07/28/new_york_only_wants_investment_bankers/
And? This is happening in all the major cities. Bear in mind that the 400 square foot firetraps that the staycationers are living in are the same size as a “short” 49-foot shipping container. Sort of like an oversized Roach Motel. Hmmm – maybe we could trap them ship them overseas? Like to Pakistan?
The people he describes are the products of “self esteem generation”: that is, these are the same people who, when kids, were given a trophy for just showing up at Little League games and given a big certificate for showing to art classes. As kids, they were always told how “great” and “special” there were — just for participating, not excelling. So of course they are self-absorbed today. Their insecure parents did a wonderful job…
This should be added to the Bible. So eloquently put, I have been trying to say exactly this for years on this page in my own ham-fisted way. I too hung out with the art fags in college but these hiptards aren’t those people. These are fake knockoffs of intellectuals and artists. Here, L.A. has perfectly captured the sense of entitlement, self-absorption and apathy these pigfuckers have, and I have been telling people for years, my nieces and nephews especially, about their soon to arrive Chinese overlords. Fact is, we won’t even be enslaved by them, they enslave their own people. They’ll just kill us off, and that’s the fate we’ll deserve.
Girl Raised by Cows – Megan-in-training:
http://en.rian.ru/strange/20120726/174796295.html
http://www.rt.com/news/london-police-olympics-arrests-269/
Mass arrests at monthly cycling event in London on Olympic ceremony night (VIDEO, PHOTOS)
Critical Massholes?
The police arrested about 130 people, according to the BBC.
Apparently, they wanted to try and protest against the games. I wonder if they really think that they are making a point and raise awareness about cyclists’ safety by attempting to disrupt traffic and major events.
http://digitaljournal.com/article/329548 The tally is 182 arrests now. Seems a bunch of them wanted to protest the Olympics since as a mainstream sporting event, corporations have their fingers in it. And as puppet Alec Baldwin said in “Team America: World Police”: “The corporations are corporatey.”
These fools know so little about the history of the Olympics it’s beyond pitiable.
The Olympics was never primarily about the audience. NOT….EVER…And onlookers, just as in Greek theater, saw participation as a civic duty.
‘civic duty’…lol…wtf does your average hipster understand about THAT idea either?
95% of cyclists are assholes who ruin it for the rest of them.
ETHER
Exactly. You read my mind.
Hipsters are just as annoying when they pretend to give a sh*t about politics. When I bought gas a few weeks ago and went in to pay, some douche in one of those pukey wool caps was loudly asking the guy behind the register if the coffee they served was “fair trade.” The poor kid said “I dunno, what’s fair trade?” The douche stood there and explained it to the kid in the most santimonous, whiny way. I just wanted to pay for my gas and said “Look, there’s a fair trade coffee shop just a block away. Why not go there and buy coffee?” The douche just ignored me. The point was not about getting fair trade coffee, it was about displaying his superior political awareness and sensitivity – to 5 other people in a damn gas station. I’m sure in his mind that was like marching in Selma or something.
You let the prick off easy. You have a lot of self-discipline. As a woman, you could have humiliated him almost to the point of tears by taking a swipe at his manhood (or lack of). No matter how much a hiptard may pretend he’s “different” than the “neanderthals”, he still has the same basic wiring.
Upon reading this I envisioned myself encasing his neck in my grasp and ramming his jaw multiple times into the register keypad while pouring his REGULAR coffee into his eyes.
…and like FaceTheFacts said, as a women you could have really made this little cockrag shrink into the worm that he is with some valid verbal abuse. I’m sure the rest of the people at the register would have applauded his humiliation.
Exactly. Next time take the closest pot of boiling hot coffee a la Brad Hamilton in “Fast Times” and say “is this fair trade or was it made by low-wage slaves in Colombia?” He won’t be able to answer because the smell of burning face will overwhelm the coffee aroma.
Isn’t there a term for this kind of bs? False Activism of something like that?
I think this is exactly the type of mentality Dilbert was trying to reach in the 90′s
Informed, but Powerless.
They just don’t get that being informed on a subject doesn’t a) make them experts on the subject nor b) give them any additional personal power to change it one whit.
They’re the same people that online dating appeals to: Exchange enough personal information such as your favorite color, what school you went to, what sport you like and you have instant intimacy because they don’t understand that intimacy only comes through actual, shared experiences.
Most adults realize the brutal realities of a real world. These people think by parroting something they read on Hip New Blog X, that they are being ‘real’. No, no you’re not.
Dude, you nailed this. I’m all for treating Third World farmers in a fair and ethical way, hell, I was born in TW country myself. I just can’t stand sanctimony from from people you know, deep inside, are just shallow assholes, but love to score easy points by letting everyone know that they “care” about those less fortunate than themselves.
The level of pretentiousness from hipsters is what I find the most galling. I know an “art nude” model who goes around telling everyone she meets, that she’s into Charles Bukowski, even though she’s in her early 20s, mid-western, and spoiled. Her personal life experience couldn’t be more different from Mr. Bukowski, but hey, saying that you’re read his work, and are into it, makes you sound pretty interesting, doesn’t it?
send this bukowski fan my email address. joeydefiant@yahoo.com I’d love to give her a real bukowski experience.
Cheers to this. I hate my generation.
As I do many Sundays I turned on NPR’s Weekend Edition this morning. They are profiling some horrible bluegrass “roots” band. Nasal twang, fiddles, banjos, forks and, god help me, a washboard! Terrible music, couldn’t understand a word they were saying. Must have been from West Virginia with the way they were dressed and what they played. Nope, thye play banjos and washboards, they are really from……………………..Brooklyn! http://www.spiritfamilyreunion.com/#media
You’re being unreasonable Yankee – love’m or hate’m – they can play.
Perhaps, but if this is the bunch I saw playing on the L train platform last year (and I suspect it was) they are playing music I just don’t like. Like with so very many like them I bet they are not really “from” Brooklyn, but just “live” in Brooklyn. Anyway, they look like an inbred version of Up with People.
I can look at them and tell they’re not from Brookyln. When I think of Brooklyn I think of metal, hardcore or hiphop — not hillbilly shit. Hell, as much as I love calling these idiots “hillbillies”, those morons aren’t even real hillbillies/rednecks since ‘billies and ‘necks are ANYTHING but “twee”.
Yeah, but they’re at Band Camp New York. Proof that their family tree doesn’t fork.
Haha, hilairous, I quit listening to NPR since they have phased out playing Jazz for hipster crap
Oh dear lord, you touched on a pet peeve of mine…the ever-evolving into hiptard caca station known as NPR. You can almost hear the middle aged producers and upper management screeching,”Quickly!! Drag in some hipsters so we can stay relevant!!! For gods sakes, hurry!!”
rofl…
Two of the biggest idjits around do the music reviews on NPR. I mean, they are total dingbats these two with a combined IQ of about 4. One of them even has that…tone of minor male in his voice. Not quite sanctimonious, but close enough to be even more irritating than if it was full bore. They say some of the dumbest shit about music I’ve heard in a long time. They’re the same reason people quit Pitchf*ck’s site.
Does EVERY SINGLE NEW MUSICAL ARTIST have to be spoken of as if they are sipping brandy with God?!
haha preach on. you can’t hear some cooking organ trio (ala jimmy smith) anymore but if listening to a trevor mumble and mangle a chord while being backed up by polly banging on a glockenspiel is your thing NPR is the place for you
Great rant and I can definitely sympathize, but I cannot imagine any place being more hipster infested and defiled than Williamsburg where I live.
Its true. There are hipsters in Astoria, but its no where near as bad as Williamsburg. My friend said it best when he asked me if those kids were in a cult.
It is a cult. I just wish they would all go away. Here’s a video of someone from a blog interviewing people on the street about why they should visit Williamsburg. “The scene of artists in the area is unmatched. It’s unbelievable.” Yea, it’s so unbelievable, it’s been completely transformed into a hipster habi-trail where they can roam bearded and unmolested in search of relevance or something.
The elevator music in the playing background sums it all up well. These people are about as exciting to listen to as Mr. Rogers.
Oh WTF. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the word “zany” used aloud in a serious manner before.
That’s the U-Haul they just drove in from Minnepennsylhiowa with.
I love this man.
) though there are just enough of them that migrate to NYC after living here (sorry!)
Long time reader…first time poster.. As a 23 year old somewhat disadvantaged student living in Austin, working my ass off on my goals of contributing to society as a veterinarian… I am tired of these rent-raising, pubic-faced, arrogant douchebags that think they are so fucking better than everyone… they quickly show their true nature of being self-absorbed and out of touch with real societal problems.
I apologize for these hipsters that are usually around my age or OLDER, and I want to make it known so that the older generation holds onto some faith in my generation, that me and many other hard working people my age are absolutely disgusted with hipsters.
Austin seems to be turning into a hipster central (are you guys sending them here?
This problem has gotten to be much greater than within the confines of Williamsburg.. they, their bedbug pets, crappy restaurants/galleries, and their HORRIBLE ATTITUDE are spreading like a plague to ‘trendy’ cities throughout the US… and they must be stopped!!
I believe the triumvirate trail of hypocrisy belongs to Portland, Austin, and Williamsburg. Yes, of course there are other cities becoming infested with the ironic locusts, but not at near the saturation level.
Their religion also requires that you go on your pilgrimmage at least once in your life and I think Brooklyn is their version of Mecca or Jerusalem. And the more times you’ve been to any of them, the greater your social clout and chances of being even more sanctimonious when discussing unoriginal, banal shit.
silver lake is FULL chock full to the brim with these idiots.
I’m from L.A. as well and yes they INVADED Silver Lake…it used to be cool and lowkey and now it’s infected with these idiots…bring back the old Silverlake!!
as a born and bred midwesterner now living in the hipstercentric universe known as seattle
i just want all you brooklynites to know i feel your pain and love reading this site. i came of age
in dayton ohio and can’t believe what passes for adulthood in these dark days. yeah i was a liberal arts major that dropped out before getting my worthless degree in english lit and am still employed in the service industry for twenty plus years. but i never relied on my parents for money
and i abhor any sense of entitlement in any demographic. i shop at thrift stores because i can’t afford retail. i spend my hard earned money on organic produce because i know most food is packed with shit and i have blood sugar issues. i ride my bike to work because i save money on gas and parking and it’s faster and less stressfull.i have a vehicle that’s 18 years old with less than 100,000 miles on it because i’ve been cycling since before i bought the thing.and i don’t ride some fixie or single speed. i do have a fair amount of tattoos and i have no shame about that.
i was in brooklyn back in 96 staying at a bed and breakfast on flatbush ave between park and prospect. i remember walking thru prospect park and seeing the natives grilling and chilling.i remember walking downtown and seeing all the black owned businesses and buying hiphop cassettes from tiny little stores and eating soul food and thinking damn this is the shit. i remember going into some bar late at night before going back to the bnb and the bartender buying my last round for no apparent reason. i remember how friendly new yorkers were to me and how they helped me on the subway. i have fond memories of brooklyn and i feel a lot of empathy for you alls situation. the behavior i read about on this site would be described in dayton as a lack of “home training.” we would just shake our heads at the calebs and meagans and say they ain’t got no home training before we punched them hard in the stomach. hipsters have taken certain legit aspects of culture and twisted them like twizzlers and fucked shit up for everyone. they personify hypocrisy and unoriginality and reinforce the entitlement agenda. i don’t want to hate too much because i believe that everyone can evolve but i really do enjoy reading this site because it helps process the never ending turd stream of the hipster lifestyle. i just wanted you all to know that not every bike riding thrift shopping organic food eating tattooed bartender is a pussifed mammas boy. i got mad love for all yall. fight the good fight.
Uncle tom hipster?
” hipsters have taken certain legit aspects of culture and twisted them like twizzlers and fucked shit up for everyone.”
That’s how they do it! Hipsters really do ruin everything. They do what the corporate marketing and entertainment entities used to do decades ago, but in in less time. It’s like the “Machine” has “outsourced” the exploitation and rape of (sub)cultural elements. Once the hipster has latched on to something, it’s ready and ripe (even nicely packaged) for corporate entities to sell to the clueless public. Hipsters think they’re so ahead of the curve with veganism, thrift store fashion, cycling and organic foods. I saw all of those things in ’91 — and even then those were nothing new. Much of that stuff was going on among the 60s counterculture thing. Hipsters are late as always.
I think they are just like their phony parents who were phony hippies and phony yuppies. The types that buy their lives out of magazines, with each type of magazine almost a mile marker in their progress towards the grave. Every ten years they shed their skin to keep pace with their peers, not because they ACTUALLY ‘believe’ in anything at all.
They grew up in the shadow of their parents stories about Hendrix and Woodstock and the importance of Bobby Dylan. Then how they partied at Studio 54 and snorted coke with Robin Williams. Took their yuppie vacations in Don Johnson Land, aka South Beach. Then became church mice of some sort or another. I just think a lot of hiptard friends of mine are suffering with this complex of,”We gotta have the youth our parents did.”.
Are the real people amongst them? Sure. But I bet you fifty bones they’re in the minority and that minority will find out first hand what hypocrites they are hanging with right now, when todays hiptards decide growing up means going home to Ohiotuckyana and popping out a new generation of bobble headed idiots. When that happens, the real artists of today will find out what their peers REALLY think of them.
Future bbq of current hipsters…
“Heyyyy Ethannnnn, it’s been soooo lonnng since we sawww yewww. Whaaaat errr yoooo dewwwing theez dayz?”
“I’ve got an art exhibit opening up at a little gallery in St.Petersburg.”
“Ohhhh myy gawwwd!! Yerrrr still dewwwing Arrrt? Reeeeelllyyy? Wowwww, that’s neeeet.”
(whispers behind Ethan’s back…)
“Can yewww beeeleeev he’s still dewing ART? What a loooozzerrrr.”
I hear you bro, you’re welcome in Washington Heights anytime…
Brooklyn’s DUB TRIO: Hipster or not hipster?
I say NOT HIPSTER (there are no kazoos, xylophones or ukeleles).
This is actually pretty damn good. Then again, I’ve been on a rudeboy ska/reggae/dub binge lately so that’s probably why I’m feeling this so much.
I’m down with it, NOT hipster.
Great rant!!!
I’d love to celebrate that rant by choking out the fucking bearded soy boy with the huge backpack and sister’s jeans that decided to fucking stop halfway up the subway stairs this morning at the Spring St. C station about 7:30 this morning to pull out the Iphone and check his texts; he damn nearly caused a visually impaired older lady, who then walked right into his back, to fall down the stairs. Happily, the guy helping her had a good hold of her, and also happily her companion then got right in this turd’s face and just let him have it, cursing him out, while he just stared with that passive beta male pussy look that just made me want to twist his fucking neck; he was definitely shitting himself.
I’ve found a little kidney punch to be a good way to get these izombies moving again. And nobody sees/says a thing (just smile).
Ah, the old poker faced, king of apathy stance. They are so unoriginal it’s almost believable they’re just all Stepford children or xeroxed at a factory. Talk about templating.
That little shit is damned lucky no one ‘accidentally’ bumped him down those stairs head fucking first. And his daddy’s lawyer wouldn’t stand a damned chance in court because when lil’ Ian stops and impedes the normal flow of foot traffic, he’s just assumed responsibility for what might happen next. Suck that one up dickface.
This guy wants to do away with mandatory math classes in high school because “there’s no evidence that being able to prove (x² + y²)² = (x² – y²)² + (2xy)² leads to more credible political opinions or social analysis.” Sounds like he wants a hipster curriculum in our high schools…
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/29/opinion/sunday/is-algebra-necessary.html?_r=1&smid=fb-share
And people wonder why India, Korea, Japan, and all of the rest of the world are kicking our asses in science, technology, and engineering. .SMH.
I mean, I hate math…but to omit it from High school curriculums completely is absurd.
If the author lived in one of those countries you listed, he would lose his job over that article.
Even though he’s in the US he still should lose his job. We can’t keep marching on towards Idiocracy (by Mike Judge who has brought us a hipster hating King of the Hill episode) just because we don’t want to lower some schmucko kid’s self esteem.
” credible political opinions or social analysis.”
What a cockrag.
You stupid fuck, mathematics is the language by which the universe reveals itself.
There would be no iToys without it.
Oh great. Another way to make kids even dumber than they already are. Another reason people in the poorest Asian and ex-Soviet countries are wiping the floor with American college degrees.
Then again, who needs Math? I bet the Indians and Chinese don’t know one tenth as much about dating and relationships or fashion trends as Americans do. Nor do they have parents to pay their rent in Magical Brueklyn until they’re 50.
I leave the final word to the Awesome Maddox:
http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=math
Math doesn’t suck, you do.
….
Theoretical math is cool as shit. You know what’s not cool? You being an idiot. Math theory involves solving problems like finding patterns in prime numbers, topology and thinking about the different kinds of infinity. And yes, there are different kinds of infinities. Pick up a fucking book some time.
….
You’ll even nod like a happy idiot when you learn what a haiku is, and you never complain or whine about how you’ll never use this in your “life.” When is the last time you wrote a haiku, asshole?
….
Yep, we’re probably moving towards being the service/agricultural industry of the world. We’ll be museum tour guides and farm fertilizer.
I actually saw an article last week that was trying to sell the idea that there are ‘a lot’ of 100G manufacturing jobs in Detroit. I don’t mean as engineers. I mean as press operators. No idea who the author was but could guess what they MIGHT look like lol
Even IT is right on the verge of being considered a ‘service’ industry in the same way that waiting tables is. This is easy to determine if you just look at the apps market alone ( pick Google’s for example ). That’s because embedded software engineering is different than RoR or HTML. Heck, I’ve even heard code monkey’s actually say things like,”I don’t NEED to know how the operating system is built anymore!!”
straight to the moon Alice…
Nearly blew a fuse when I saw this. And I didn’t even like maths much at school.
How about this very simple political opinion and social analysis for the author: if we do what you suggest, we will be actively electing to join the Third World.
To think that these people are the first to cry “stupidity fascism” when anyone suggests we promote, say, sports education. This is a perfect example of that mindset, and the crazy thing is, they’d never realise it.
You know how they say about some extreme socialist groups, “they don’t want us all to be rich, they want us all to be poor”? This is an exact equivalent. They don’t want us all to be intelligent, they want us all to be stupid, so that their pseudo-intellectual act looks better by comparison.
My career path doesn’t directly require mathematics (at the moment – I’m hoping to change that.) But I’ve always tried to keep my maths skills up to date. Even if I don’t turn out to need them all that much, I see them as a great way to keep your mind sharp – like a workout for the brain.
Which tells you everything about why our PBR-drinking friends wouldn’t like it. Directly rewarding people who put the work in, by directly improving their skills? Like, yah, it stops us being able to say “like, yah.”
Dad: Hey Caleb, remember when you nasally whined that you needed your gentrification package sent early last month so you could get a bicycle?
Caleb: Uhhh (rolling eyes), it’s not like a bicycle…it’s a fixed gearrrrrr Hellooowww
Dad: Ok. whatever – anyway, how is the bike working out for you?
Caleb: like yah, umm the bike — I left it out back a couple of weeks ago when my focus changed to training for the hackey sack finals at McCarren.
Dad: Isn’t that risky? You are playing urban city boy now, and need to be sure you keep an eye on your possessions.
Caleb: What the hell are you worried about? I live in Williamsburg – it is a magical land of wonder, filled with like minded quirky, whimsical, creative people. We are a community, maaaaan. Nobody would take my fixie, and if someone tried, Hamilton, Zachary, Ethan, or Zooey would stop them!
Dad: I’m not so sure – back here in Des Moines, we would call that plain old foolishness.
Caleb: You are so out of touch with this generation of young artists, creators, and foodies
Dad: Aren’t you 39 years old?
Caleb: Not a single gray hair though – my beard is as bright red as ever! Anyway, like to prove you are ignorant to the ways of the New Brooklyn, I’ll actually get off the couch, go out back, and prove that the fixie is still there
Dad: ok Caleb
Caleb: By the way, I have a dog named WiFi
Dad: What?
Caleb: Never mind – anyway, I’m almost outside now, just gonna turn this corner and the fixie should be right th…
Dad: Caleb?
Caleb: yes?
Dad: your bike is gone, isn’t it
Caleb: like, yah
Williamsburg bike thefts quadrupled:
http://www.dnainfo.com/new-york/20120730/williamsburg/bike-thefts-quadruple-this-year-williamsburg-police-say
…ride around a factory Schwinn. Holy shit, how 1950s! Late as hell to the party…
I thought it would take another ten years before that fixie shit got here, but nope…I’ve seen two in the last month. Now, that’s nothing to most of you guys but I do not live near hipsters and made that conscious decision several years ago when the city I lived in was, um, going south.
I find such bikes not cute nor retro, but offensive to the entire concepts embedded in form and function. Great strides were made in bike design, and made affordable for the masses, that reduced short and long term injury to the human anatomy.
And here come the fucktards to piss all over those gains, Yeah. It’s TONS better to put unecessary strain and stress on your knee and hip joints by not having any gears for an uphill peddle. Sure…
And don’t overlook that remarkable “saddle,” a device that first causes and then pounds hemorrhoids back into your abdominal wall while your internal organs are rattled around like they were inside a cocktail shaker. That was THE one area where progress was the greatest.
I really don’t mind a soft seat because I’ve never kept my ass on it except for coasting or flatland cruising. What I DO want are GEARS. More gears, less strain. Damn, I might actually be able to sustain the energy I put into the bike for longer that way LOL
What you missed at the Bushwick block party:
Camel toes
Beardos
Dreads
Canklesaurus Rexes
http://gothamist.com/2012/07/29/photos_what_you_missed_at_the_rober.php#photo-1
If you want somebody you love to commit suicide, show them this.
http://gothamist.com/2012/07/27/enjoy_this_deranged_video_for_satur.php
Enjoy This Deranged Video For Saturday’s Bushwick Block Party, And Other Weekend Activities
I didn’t see any interesting people in any of those pictures.
Don’t these people have any pride in their appearance? We all can’t look like movie stars but we can at least make the best of what we have to work with. The skinny people in those photos aren’t even lean, but “skinny fat”. A workout program and a diet that actually nourishes them will do a lot of these people wonders.
I’ve long since stopped believing you can actually convince the majority of people about the anatomy and physiology of the human body.
In a survival situation, the skinny hipster would be one of the first bodies to die of starvation. It’s simple fact that the more fat you have – which is why we store it so easily – the more likely you are to survive situations where you are deprived for periods of time from food and water. Being able to eat excess food, and to have so much variety, is really a part of very recent history for our species. The low fat body? Pfft. Obviously, our danger in general is we do NOT live in those circumstances of having to roam for food or work so hard for it. Personally, I enjoy access to lots of food whenever I want, but then, I’m not as smart as hipsters are and so lack all their social awareness.
I guess when they are starving because they can’t hunt or fish or trap, I’ll be sure to remind them not to ask any of us ignorant meanies for food.
http://gawker.com/5930215/the-worlds-most-hipster-wedding-announcement-may-justify-outlawing-love
Let’s run down the checklist to make sure we’ve touched every possible hipster element:
Brooklyn? CHECK.
Overly elaborate site design that includes a silhouette of a girl being pulled through the moonlight by a little bird? CHECK.
He plays in a band? CHECK.
“After a tumultuous relationship came to a close, he decided to take a break from dating, and took up bread baking”? CHECK.
Animated teardrops? CHECK.
A cat? CHECK.
A shared love of ironic karaoke choices? CHECK.
826 fundraiser participation? CHECK.
I scrolled through this entire page (it’s the length of a football field) and I feel like I just married Zooey Deschanel. TWICE. And while I respect the right of newlywed couples to spend what appears to be $500,000 on site architecture, we have to establish some basic ground rules for declaring your love for one another online. Because this… this is too much love. This is like stuffing a tunnel down your friend’s throat and pouring in a gallon of Karo syrup. No one outside of your relationship could possibly care this much about the history of your relationship. And so, please consider the following rules when making your wedding page:
1. Don’t make me scroll for nine hours just for me to get to the fucking date. All I want to know is A) The date, B) Where it is (if it’s a destination wedding, I’m not going), and C) If there will be an open bar. I don’t need your joint resumes lodged into the mix.
2. Please know that the more romantic your proposal, the more likely you are that you’ll get divorced. I’ve seen it a million times. Some guy stages an elaborate proposal that includes hiding the ring at the top of a fucking restored Ferris Wheel that the bride rode as a child, and the couple ends up divorced nine months later. Meanwhile, the guy that proposes using a discarded cockring after the HPT comes back positive stays married for eight decades.
3. If you played in a band, please let me know if your band is playing the wedding. Because I will not be attending if that’s the case.
4. After designing your wedding site, step back and ask yourself IS THIS TOO CUTE? Because it is. Remove at least half the twinkling stars.
5. Don’t do that shit where you make me give to charity instead of buying you a gift. You want me to donate to water, Jess & Russ? I THINK NOT. I think you want to make yourself look good AND you’re hoping I pick out a nice place setting at Bloomie’s for you. YOU ARE FOOLING NO ONE.
http://gawker.com/5930215/the-worlds-most-hipster-wedding-announcement-may-justify-outlawing-love
http://jessandruss.us/
“Meanwhile, the guy that proposes using a discarded cockring after the HPT comes back positive stays married for eight decades.” = Brilliant!!!
I think we need to start a new wedding tradition, and fast….
You get marriage gifts AFTER a year of marriage, because if the two of you together cannot make it for even one year, then I ain’t give you a plug nickel and not spending the money on a set of organically grown towels.
I don’t like hipsters either, but the article boils down to “hit on one, got rejected.” Sorry.
Fear “hipsters”?
Get real.
Get a life.
Leave strangers be.
The kids are more normal than the haters, who are the freaks.
“Kids”??? Sorry, you’re not a kid when you are a worthless 35-year-old fauxhemian living off your parents money in order to help gentrify neighborhoods with other worthless douchebags.
Get real.
Get a life..
Tell these “kids” to leave strangers be.