Scenario: a young Brooklyn native male minding his own business gets caught with a dime bag of weed. He gets stopped, embarrassed, cuffed, thrown in jail, pays a fine, sees a judge, and gets a record.

Next Scenario: A group of 30 – 40 year old transplants open up something Brooklyn has never seen before – a pizzeria (in some filthy garage on some filthy street no less) – that gets rave reviews because its packed with staycationing, funemployed, narcassistic, try-hard hipsters, possess decent amounts of marijuana, make a 3 course meal and drink menu with it, serve it to GQ magazine reporters and publish an article for the whole world to see and NOTHING HAPPENS.

Link: GQ-Mag eats weed at Roberta’s Pizza in Nieuw Breukelen.

———————————————————————————————-

Scenario: a normal hard working NY family opens a restaurant; the Department of Health finds signs of rodents upon inspection. This family can be embarrassed, lose business with a bad LETTER GRADE in their window, be heavily fined and even shut down. They have to then fix the problem and prove once again to the DOH there is no more rodents.

Next Scenario: Yet another completely irrelevant, Brooklyn-BASED, self-proclaimed artist comes to NYC to play for a while. She has a $100 per person RAT CARCASS DINNER in a pretentious art gallery to promote her cause: “Tomorrow We Will Feast Again on What We Catch, to bring the idea of self-reliance to an urban setting.” Self-reliance? Does your parents paying for your magical journey to Brooklyn count as self-reliance? Does collecting money on Kickstarter to import 75 rats from California to serve to a bunch of hipster attention-starved, try-hard artists count as self-reliance or catching your food?

Link: Pseudo-Artist serves rats as art for a $100 per person. DOH doesn’t mind.