Today, I saw Cooper the shish kebab skewer-armed, red bearded, sustainable urban bee keeper heading over to the Lower North East Williamsburg air guitar championships for a gritty Brooklyn experience. So I restrained his arms and legs with 2-ply toilet paper and beat him half to death with a 50 lb sack of imported cacao beans that takes both costume wearing Iowanite Mast Bros to lift. End of story.
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“Are the cacao beans organic? They have to be organic. I don’t want to be beaten with cacao beans that exploit farm workers.”
“And you have to let me know what type of vessel were they imported on?”
Both the bean transport and bean beating were carbon neutral.
Hipster in Philly are opening a pizza museum. What a wonderful use of mommy and daddy’s retirement money:
http://www.newsworks.org/index.php/arts-and-culture-everything/item/41739-20lfpizza
Get a load of the Grover-limbed beardo on the left. That…is a walking fucking stereotype!
I wonder if they define themselves as men…and what’s with the little toys they’re holding?
Everything is so fucking twee with these muppets.
Their appearance drives me to homicide, but their endeavor just has me puzzled. What could you possibly put on display? How bored and cash rich do you have to be to embark on such a business venture?
That’s not business. This is “art”. I’ve watched similar operations open and close for 20 years, particularly the famed UFO Museum in Portland in the late Nineties. The UFO Museum was effectively a rummage sale full of vaguely strange toys and junk that was offered “to offset the costs of the Museum”. If I remember correctly, the owner was burning through an inheritance to keep this museum going: at the time, I was working literally across the street, with my window directly overlooking the museum, and I think I saw maybe two people ever go inside. When the landlord decided to raise the rent to shake out the vermin, he had a big sale and moved out, swearing that the museum would open up again when he found a better place. That was 15 years ago, and I fully expect the same thing will happen here.
It looks like this one might not manage to even open. The Wikipedia page (yes, of course it has a detailed Wikipedia page) claims it was “founded” in 2011, yet the web site says it “will” open June 7, 2012. Repurposing old pianos into seating must be time-consuming.
It appears they aren’t even going to bother selling actual pizzas. Because cooking is so, like, hot, and, like, hard, and stuff.
“Pizza Brain chef Joe Hunter and crew are taking apart an old piano that will be repurposed for outdoor seating. ”
Right. Of course. That makes sense. Chairs are so, like, linear, and, like, um, commercial.
Yeah, that’s just the kind of furniture I want to sit in when trying to relax and eat.
Hard wood.
They get more brilliant by the second.
My God, what a COMPLETE freak show!
“We’re gonna have little peepholes that you can look through…”
Uh, they had those in Times Square for decades until Disney & company bulldozed the area. And while the suckers are peering into the peepholes Ryan, Brian, and Joe (the Mast triplets of Philadelphia) will undoubtedly be doing upskirts of the peepers or something similarly creepy and twisted.
geez… gritty brooklyn is gone. cue 1990 when i was playing roller hockey on n15th and banker or in mccaren park and coming home bloody and beaten every day! wtf happenned to those days? why couldn’t someone poison all the hipsters’ steamed spinach and dried guava!! these idiots all move to bk and are still afraid of thier own fucking shadows! idiots…
Well you just nailed it didn’t you? When the first few ‘tards showed up to be ‘edgy’, they realized how lonely and scared they were. So they set about using all their additional energies, like real politicians, making promises to friends back home and convincing them they should make the trek to Brooklyn because “…it’s so kewl. Yew’ll lerv it heerr.”
Then the small group each in turn became sick of each other, and used the internets in secret at night to invite more of their friends to come and live. And so began the Great Hipster Exodus…
Religion and fanatical bicycling – two bad things that go worse together! (And the “preacher” is what today’s beardos will turn into…. http://www.oregonlive.com/gresham/index.ssf/2012/07/bike_temple_preaches_at_first.html#incart_river_default
Well, at least they’re finally using the bike lanes. Oh wait – they CLOSED A FUCKING HIGHWAY to do the ride…
Yeah, this is a once-a-year street fair they have in each of the five quadrants of Portland. (Five quadrants – it’s Portland, don’t ask.)
Portland has more than its share of fixie-riding, helmet-eschewing scofflaws to make the Portlandia sketch a documentary – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3nMnr8ZirI
No shit. That was another reason why I got tired of it and moved out. I commute to work by bike every day, but the bike psychotics in Portland made me want to buy a big steam engine that burned nothing but old tires and baby whales and drive that to work. Ah, the joys of living near downtown, where the bike freaks would race up and down the sidewalks, screaming at pedestrians to move out of their way like Cossacks yelling at peasants, but who would lose their shit if one of their own should be hit or otherwise injured when riding irresponsibly.
Yep, downtown, where it’s illegal to ride a bike on the sidewalk, but it’s never enforced, since the politicians are held hostage by the Bicycle Transportation Alliance and the loosely-organized bike thugs who raise hell.
Evidently, a bike-delivery company has decided to park their big bikes with billboards covering the cargo hold by my bank, taking up a good portion of the sidewalk….
By the way, you hear about the cyclist who was mugged and stabbed on Alberta this last weekend? Other people get mugged and fucked up, and the Mayor tweets about it all day. Now, though, you can expect both Sam Adams and the Bike Portland assholes to swear they will not stop until the perp is brought to justice. (Seriously, folks, you want to see what’s going to happen to Brooklyn if this doesn’t stop? Just look at Portland and what happened to a once-interesting town once the beardos took over.)
Yep. I was just about to post on it – a mugging generally would not make the papers if it were out in The Numbers (Portland east of 82nd, which is the “Across 110th St.” of Portland – where the black people forced out of NE went, along with Asians, Russians, and “white trash” who can’t afford hipster/yupster prices.)
I’m surprised that someone doesn’t set up a bike theft and fencing operation – shipping expensive stolen bikes out of town to sell to people who want something that “fell off a truck”….
There was one until about three years ago. You’ve had Russian car theft gangs running amok in Portland for at least 15 years, because car thefts get one of those little forms for you to fill out and send back to the police. The bike theft operation, though, was running over in SE for years, until the ringleader was busted and sent to jail on unrelated charges, and someone finally found his chop shop after the roof had partially caved in. (And should it be any surprise that the Portland police are working insanely slowly to find the owners of those bikes, seeing as how they get to sell the bikes themselves if nobody claims them? I’d be willing to bet that my old bike was one of them, and I’m not going back to Portland on the vague hope of finding it.)
And hipsters aren’t weird. They’re conformists like everyone else before them – whatever creative people populated Brooklyn in the mid-90s through the mid-oughts are either gone, successful, or muddling through, leaving the consumers and camp followers behind.
Thomas Frank wrote about it in “The Conquest of Cool” – the counterculture becomes the consumer culture.
Odd that these fauxhemians wear “uniforms” given that they hate uniforms.
The shithole mall here in Bumfuck, South Kackalaki has a store that features wool hats, girl jeans, V-neck ironic t-shirts and flannel. So give it up, hipsters. You’re MAINSTREAM NOW!
How long is it going to take for them to get there? I should think by 40 you would have conquested cool already!
I was in fort green this past weekend. Its a hipster mess. Good portiob of brooklyn is done and gone. The bronx harlem and western queens will begin to feel the hipster pinch.
I live in Fort Greene and let me tell you… We have more high minded yuppies here than hipsters. We have hipster problems on the weekend though. The flea market on Atlantic Ave and the one in Bishop Laughlin H.S. School yard attracts them like a fly to dog shit. Real annoying it is to walk around there on a Saturday morning/afternoon. On top of that then you have the yahoos having stoop sales.
The following is true: Yesterday on FDB @ 123rd in Harlem when I was crossing, in the crosswalk, to the east, I almost got hit by a guy on a bike wearing a wool cap. I lost my shit and started yelling at him and just as my husband, who was annoyed by my behavior, pulled me out of the street to walk on, three more of them sped by and almost hit the both of us. Skinny 1 gear bikes, stocking caps, ridden by skinny white boys. I am not from Harlem and I am white but it made me so angry I was almost sick.
I’ve lived in Harlem for about 15 years. We bought in a building that has been mixed race since it went co-op in 1978. We specifically did this so we would not be the gentrifying edge. We bought here because it is a neighborhood that we fell comfortable in because it is so diverse. My husband is from Washington DC and his mom is from the Philippines. I am from downtown Atlanta and grew up in public housing there. The neighborhood here was the only place that we both felt that we could become part of a community that made sense to us.
Since we have lived here the neighborhood has changed. In some ways for the better. If you go down FDB today there are tons of LOCALLY owned new businesses. And my friends who are Harlem born love them. But my friends up here are like me – middle class, good jobs, mid 40s but still go out lots – and there are lots of other people in the neighborhood – older folks, people on very fixed and limited incomes, people struggling to get by – who are worried that this local gentrification is going to bring what you guys in Brooklyn have had to deal with.
I have not wanted to beat the shit out of someone since I was 14 years old and Sheila Harris and I got into a fist fight because she hit me in the head with a softball during PE. But these stupid ass-holes got to me so much it was sort of scary.
I am visiting NYC right now and have noticed so many fucking times that people on bikes plow through the crosswalk when I have the signal to walk. I don’t know traffic laws… are they allowed to do that? Ugh.
Just give them a little nudge as they whiz past. Great fun to watch.
Tarot for HIP Witches… complete with a beardo on the box! x_x
► http://img1.alphamerchant.com/unbeatablesale/sku/9780738713915.jpg
NYT article via Gothamist – which has been doling out a bit of butthurt lately.it appears the NYT is hyping up Greenpoint.
http://gothamist.com/2012/07/22/ny_times_drops_mother_of_all_gentri.php
I.T. consultant = unemployed help desk inhabitant
Looks like the gentrifyers are being out-gentrified. Daddy won’t/can’t cut a bigger check and the new ones coming in have daddies that will, so the dipshits are crying now and talking about moving to Minneapolis. I guess daddy can still afford Minneapolis.
They won’t be able to afford Minneapolis for long either the way things are going here. We sure don’t need anymore “artists” here anyway.
I was at a Wedding on Saturday and ran into a real good old friend from the same part of the city as I am originally from, NE Minneapolis. AKA the “minneapolis arts district”. She used to be so super pro northeast and I figured she wouldn’t ever leave. But I hadn’t seen her in a couple of years and I heard it was because she had moved to St. Paul. So when she came over to sit with me that was the first thing I asked her was what’s up with that? She starting talking about hipsters ruining NE and basically said that when her lease was up on her old apartment the landlord wanted almost double the rent, and the more she looked for a decent place to stay the more she realized she couldn’t afford it anymore. She said one of her best options on her budget was an old fourplex that the property manager had made an illegal 5th apartment in — a 300 squre foot “one bedroom” (I guess it was more like a studio with an alcove) with no windows, no fire escape, and a shared entrance for something like $600 per month in what is still a pretty scketchy neighborhood for a single lady. Only a few years ago $600/mo would get you a decent sized 2 bedroom in an okay NE neighborhood, or a nice 1-bedroom in a really safe neighborhood. And she said she looked at like 20 places and they were all absolute dumps, but this one in particular took the cake because she was told she’d have to move her stuff out of there once a year so the fire department and housing inspectors wouldn’t know there was a tenent down there. Unbelievable.
So she moved to the East side of St. Paul where she said it’s a lot like NE was when the beardos and giant bike riding art fucks still all lived south of downtown.
That’s why I’m waiting for them to start moving to Dallas. Austin is the same exact way, especially thanks to SXSW. Between the tech corridor and UT-Austin, Austin’s rents have always been steep compared to the rest of the Southwest, but the hipster plague has jumped rents to ridiculous prices. Between the rent and being kept up all night by Monday morning jam sessions, everybody in Austin with a job in many areas are having to move out further and further outside the city. The sad fact is that the cost of car insurance and gas is still cheaper than some of the current rents in “sustainable” inner Austin, and it’s only going to get gentrified further by the fuckups who couldn’t cut it among their brethren in Portland and Williamsburg.
I gotta say – I lived in Mpls for five looooooonnnnnnnggg years, from 1979 -1984, and got the hell out as soon as I saved up enough money to move to NYC. When I first arrived & told people I was from Milwaukee, they’d ask, in a very patronizing tone, “Oh, how are you dealing with the culture shock”? Sheesh. Mpls was hipster city 30 years ago! They had separate lanes for everything -way before Bloomturd- and it drove me nuts. The breaking point – when they came up with a tourism slogan that said “Some people love the Big Apple. We like the Miniapple!” Like, not love, because that would be too emotional. The logo was an apple with snow and ice on top of it. I can’t imagine it’s gotten any worse. Sorry about the tirade but I fucking hated Mpls.
I can’t say that I can blame you. I was born here in 1979 so I can’t speak on how it was then. And don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my city. But there really is an air of superiority about a lot of the people here. I remember when I was a kid though the only places you’d see trendie / progressive / hipster types was in downtown and uptown. And that whole uptown thing has always bothered me. It’s just like the “mini-apple” thing, that bothered me too. It’s like this city is always making up for being so small by co-opting things from bigger cities. The “uptown” neighborhood was named for Chicago’s uptown, even though it’s south of downtown. And I remember when I was a kid in NE — WAY before NE was a trendy staycation destination, people used to refer to southern NE as the “Lower East Side” and the northern part of NE as “Upper Northeast” or “The Upper East Side”, like our tiny little part of our mid-sized city was Manhatten or something. And more recently I’ve been seeing city documents referring to the old Warehouse District, which has been completely gentrified and turned almost completely into yup lofts in the last ten years, as “The North Loop”. WE ARE NOT CHICAGO OR NEW YORK YOU STUPID YUPPIE FUCKS!
But I’ve got to say that the thought of even more hip-types moving here FROM Brooklyn does not sit well with me. I always thought of this town as more of a hipster training grounds — a layover area for displaced hillbillies to come learn how to live in condos and lofts and “appreciate” horrible art and talk down to locals before they move on to places like Portland and New York… If they all come back here after they’ve priced themselves out of “Lower North East Williamsburg” our problem will get even worse than I ever imagined it could be.
Where in Milwaukee are you from?
@B:South side (Bay View) and south of the south side (South Milwaukee, to be exact).
@Linguini: Remember when they used to refer to Mpls as “The Athens of the Midwest”? Ugh.
You have my sympathies. I guess one upshot of the “higher than Afganistan” casualty rate here in Chicago is the low rent…
There’s nothing quite like vomiting on the computer screen first thing in the morning:
http://education.yahoo.net/articles/careers_for_hipsters.htm?kid=1MNC5
Is it just me, or are more of these articles coming out? Is this paid propaganda to sell Richard Florida’s “creative class” bullshit, or are we just seeing more of a market for “proof” that Jonquil and Meghan don’t need to scale down and get a real job?
IT and Paralegal? Sure why not. Two jobs that have a lot of stress, long hours and last minute “hey can you stay after for a few hours?”
yes – these jobs fit the hipster profile to a “T”. Every IT person I know is always working weekends – server goes down, etc.
I bet not one Caleb or Marni is capable of doing these jobs well because they involve work, no fun and super soakers are not really considered
Tools of the trade.
I’m surprised this list didn’t have astronaut, neurosurgeon, trauma nurse, EMT or utility line worker on the list.
Do NOT give them ideas. Back in the Nineties, I knew a classic proto-hipster who was running a little shop in the Exposition Park area of Dallas. It was a classic mess: the owner (who was subsidized by his insanely rich family) was only open about three days a week. He couldn’t be bothered to order new inventory or even increase the selection: he made a big deal about carrying Doc Martens, but he had about ten pairs, and he’d tell customers to take it or leave it if they were looking for a different size or style. Half of the time, he couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed to open his precious little store…but when he found out that my then-girlfriend was working as a molecular geneticist at UT-Southwestern Medical Center, he nagged me incessantly about trying to get him into her department as an intern. Apparently, if he couldn’t get that, he figured that he’d be perfect as a hospital volunteer, as the local public care hospital learned to its detriment.
I was puzzled by them listing Paralegal as a hipster occupation because:
Paralegals have to work long hours. They have to work at law firms for The Man that they all hate so much. Law firms aren’t exactly the type of place where people are going to be impressed with their sleeves of tattoos, quirky wool caps, lice infested beards, piercings, gauged earlobes, moldy dreadlocks, even moldier Chuck Taylors, ironic summer camp tees and which brand of Minimal Techno MacBook Dubstep Noise DJs they listen to. They can’t waltz in every day at 12:30 with a hangover from too many PBRs. I don’t see how hipsters would have the slightest interest in being a paralegal.
Yeah but Ally McBeal worked at a law firm….
It’s not that the hipsters have an interest in being a paralegal (akin to an intern in their drug-addled minds), but whether the REAL lawyers and paralegals would have an interest in hiring them…
“19 Hats That Will Not Get A Dude Laid”
http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-07-20/19-hats-that-will-not-get-a-dude-laid/
Alternate title: “19 Hats That Will Get A Hipster’s Ass Kicked”
May I have my baseball bat please? I need to put a crease in some hats…
http://diediehipster.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/is-joking-about-death-okay/
Butthurt boy is butthurt…. again.
No offense, guys, but why does anyone give that little whiner the time of day, much less the clicks? All Stevie is doing is reliving high school, where he’s desperately begging to have his ass kicked because at least then he can pretend that someone cares. If I were willing to venture a guess, I suspect that at that time, he was the local suicide prevention hotline’s mascot, “Snivels”.
Sometimes I wrestle with the moral implications of my actions. I realize that in doing so, I am giving him traffic he otherwise would never receive. Perhaps I need to exercise some self-restraint a bit more often else the demon Adderall shall possess him and cause him to go on yet another trolling binge.
Still, it’s hard to restrain myself when I have to keep an eye on that site in case he tries to frame me for attempted murder (in the form of a slice of pizza and a New York knish on his father’s doorstep) again.
Down here on the Jerzee shore Asbury Park has turned into a hipster hell hole too. They came along with the redevelopement and gentrification. Ruined what used to be a great place. I have run into hipsters from Williamsburg who vacation or daytrip to Asbury. Tillie is rolling over in his grave .
Yes, and the patting on the back and celebration of self is out in it’s fullest. The TriCityNews trumps up every last little thing that happens as a huge milestone and now there are a few Facebook magazine pages for the Asbury/”TriCity” area. You know, some dudes with flannels on a motorcycle is really important. If cool people do normal things, it’s important and newsworthy!
“We’re out here in the middle of nowhere,” Hipsters have a block party in Bushwick. Guess nobody lived there before them http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/35/29/24_bushwickblockparty_2012_07_20_bk.html
“It’s a younger and more eclectic neighborhood,” said Gilmour. “There are all these young artist people out here. It seems desolate, but it’s not.”
No, just spoiled and ruined. What’s so eclectic about a neighborhood of hipsters?
In a thriving borough of 2 million plus, only a clueless, unaware transplant from Cornschucker, Nebraska would say “there’s really nothing going on around here.”
Real translation – “there was nothing going on around here for WHITE artistes before we showed up. Now who’s ready for some Big Wheel races?”
This 20-something, look-at-me Megan bugs the hell out of her co-worker with all of her quirkiness…and doesn’t give 2 sh*ts:
http://www.salon.com/2012/07/24/worst_co_worker_ever/
My ex-wife used to work with someone like this: this individual darling added to the routine with stealing items from the warehouse and selling them on eBay, as well as getting busted for shoplifting at least once per month so her daddy would have to bail her out. As this one will discover all too soon, Cat Piss Men absolutely love the Manic Pixie Girls…until they hit about 30 and the mood switches on the behavior from “cute” to “disgusting”.
I’m convinced that the whole Manic Pixie Dream Girl thing is another classic “nice guy” ploy. It just translates as: I have a deep seated problem with women, but I’m going to portray it as if everyone else is the sexist and I’m just a “male feminist”, so I’m allowed to bash 90% of women despite not being one myself.
Why are we supposed to have any sympathy with these Michael Cera type characters who act like their life has been saved because they’ve met a woman who OMG, likes rock music? They have an 8 year old’s attitude towards anything even remotely connected with women, thinking that most women are stupid and rejecting them as unacceptable for something as irrelevant as music taste, but thinking behaviour of the kind described above is cool.
But then they think it’s cute to act like an 8 year old on every front anyway.
I had it worse. i worked with both a guy and a girl (right out of college) who were like this. Usually it can take a year or two before you’re office or cubicle is personalized. These a**hats actually brought in their stuff ON THE FIRST DAY. On my first day I brought in a calculalor, Machinery’s handbook and drawing tools. These people bring in signs, mardi gras beads, troll dolls, action figures, photos…it looked like they raided a Spencer Gifts on the way to work.
All day long they would carry on like Chip and Dale on Amphetamines – the voices, jokes, dancing in the aisles…you get the picture.
My breaking point came when they felt I needed cheering up (I didn’t I was commuting 75 minutes each way and putting 14 hour days to meet a deadline..and worse ) to please keep it down.
I went in to work OT the following day which was a Saturday. 6:30 AM, 4 hours of sleep thanks to a new-born in the house with a 75 minute drive ahead of me.
I walk in. My entire cubicle is criss-crossed with Yellow “DO Not Cross” police tape. Not just the entrance but the entire goddamn cubicle. All my overhead compartments (which held my reference material) are sealed with about 4 rolls of duct tape. My calculator is missing it’s batteries (taken “hostage’ according to the ransom note). The light bulbs are taken out of my area. My desk is littlered with confetti, plastic toy soldiers, candy balloons – it’s looked like The oriental trading Company exploded in my office. Oh and then there the inflatable palm trees and the teddy bear with a f**cking hula skirt.
On my (taped up) keyboard) was a card that read, “Smile! RELAX! ENJOY LIFE! HAVE FUN!” The message read, “stop and smell the roses! Work to live, don’t live to work! Love
Fran and Babs”.
Words could not express my anger. So when my cubemate showed arrived we decided to get his camera and take pictures of my cubicle. Then we took all of their action figures, dolls, toys, etc. drilled holes in them impaled them on a rod we got from the shop and hung it from the Chip and Dasle’s ceiling.
Oh the butthurt that followed the following Monday. yes they cried to my boss. And my boss told them to apologize to me and clean up my cube.
Of course this didn’t stop us from buying a few trout and taping them to the underside of their car seats….and a few clams in the golve compartment.
Sorry for the sloppy post. But the best part was that everyone in my area – about 30 (and a few shop people) or so saw their butthurt. They smelled blood and soon the harrassment was non-stop. eventually they moved to another group.
You have way more restraint than I do – if I’m putting in 12+ hour days/ weekends, and I come in to see some adult infant has been messing with my shit, I’d lose it. I mean, if I’m putting in a 70+ hour week, I don’t want to see as much a pencil out of place on my workspace when I get in. These bearded toddlers have no respect for things like deadlines – “like yah, you need to chill maaaaan”. Fuck you Hummus, I actually give a shit about doing quality work, no matter how long it takes – go make a hemp bracelet you Sunny D sipping toilet brush.
Manic Pixie Dream Girl’s dream gone wrong…scroll to 4th story. She latched on to the first guy who could put up with her batshit craziness, and he sounds like a high maintenance beta-male loser.
I feel bad for their child being raised by parents like these:
http://gawker.com/5928371/unemployment-stories-vol-two-we-are-the-unseen
I just read that myself, and I was thinking the same thing. Worse, I’ve seen that happen a few times to friends, especially as far as the “Oh, he was absolutely perfect until I married him, and then he knew I was under his control” routine goes. Considering what a loser my wife’s ex-husband turned out to be, she’s incredibly glad that they didn’t have kids, because he’d use that as an excuse to stalk her. (Apparently his newfound life as a small-town circus clown isn’t working out that well, and his girlfriend finally kicked his ass out. We’re waiting for the day for Shakes The Clown to show up on our front door, begging us to let him in because he has nowhere else to go.)
And at that time you will beat the piss out of him and dump him down a sewer, right?
I wouldn’t foul the local sewer. A butt full of rock salt from a twenty-gauge works just as well.
An ex-friend left his family for one of these women. I can’t even begin to explain how sand poundingly annoying she was. She was always on. Tats, unkempt hair in rainbow colors, dressed like a reject from Les Miserables, etc. She could not walk a block without swinging on a pole, dancing or skipping like a retarded 6 year old. The woman had a track record like Anne Heche.
And she was about 15 years his junior.
So almost a year after the divorce went through he calls me to whine. Pippi Longstockings left him. Apparently, She was not the most reliable, sane and grounded person. After blowing through a ton of his money on idiotic ventures, he came to the realization that this was someone that he could not reform and mold into normal person to be taken to company functions and nights out with other couples. Worse he had to hire a maid because she wouldn’t bother doing the dishes or even throwing out take out food containers.
So i told him “you ran around with this loon – an hour here an hour there – a couple of times a week. You found her quirky, funny and exciting. But to live with someone who’s “on” 24/7 is not for stable, family-oriented types. You’re an a**hole. You traded in a beautiful wife and three kids for a f**cking bipolar, demented party clown.”
As I said, I’ve seen both sides of this. Even more exasperating are the successful women in fields where most of the available guys in their venues are classic MBA horsefaces, so they go for the “artist”. An old friend did that, figuring that this guy was just needing a big break, so she let him move in. All he had to do was focus on his art, but he decided what he needed for inspiration was to hang out at video arcades and comic shops all day long, and didn’t do squat as far as his own work was concerned. She finally got tired of coming home from 12 hours at work to a house that was trashed because he’d invited his buddies over, cooking dinner for him because anything more than Pringles was too complex for him, and then being kept up all night while he played video games at top volume. Then, when she finally kicked his ass out, he actually tried to sue her for palimony.
Is it me, or are these storytellers in Salon and Gawker not exactly all the likable themselves? A lot of self-congratulating going on.
You got it, especially with Salon.
http://pdxpipeline.com/2012/06/11/portland-naked-bike-ride-pictures-info/
Portland Naked Bike Ride Pictures & 2012 Info: Nudity Facts, Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) | Pedalpalooza
pedophilepalooza?
Canklepalooza!
That’s how I actually read it at first!
Doesn’t that hurt? And why is that woman riding without a seat daddy?
What is the fucking point of doing this? Am I missing something?
The point is the same one used by the Etsy people who do nothing but “art” with bodily fluids. The concept is that this is so brash and subversive, because polite society won’t let them run around naked all of the time. The point, on the other hand, is one that gets hidden when they wear one of those ridiculous wool caps in summer.
As someone who frequently went to naturist beaches in Europe over 20 years ago, I can assure you they’re even doing the naked thing wrong. Back then, the average naturist was one third of the age, had one third of the body fat and an extra 20 years worth of maturity compared to today’s freaks. And they were even the people you wanted to see naked.
Plus, did anyone ever tell them that (drumroll) NAKED MEANS NAKED??? As in no fucking humungous underpants covering your humungous ass while the rest of you is painted white with red polka-dots to emphasize your saggy tits. That goes for the guys as much as the girls. Back in the day, you went naked in your back garden or on a quiet beach somewhere and didn’t announce it to the world, especially if you were less than gorgeous. Big difference between that and cycling through the big city with flaunting your hairy bulbous ass.
Finally: IF YOU ARE OVER 35, YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS PARADING NAKED IN PUBLIC – EVER!!!
http://brooklynpaper.com/stories/35/29/24_costumedrawing_2012_07_20_bk.html
Crayons…costumes…I suppose they have mats on the floor for nappy time as well.
They really are just children, aren’t they. It’s just sad and pathetic that they think doing shit like this is living a fulfilling life.
Again, not even teenagers, but primary/elementary school age, prepubescent children. If they just acted like 15 year olds (like, say, the Jackass crew), at least that would be understandable. But this just makes them come across as people who shouldn’t be allowed near a school.
http://gothamist.com/2012/07/23/2300_hot_dog_is_absurd_real.php
2300 dollar hot dog. Considerable butthurt here (note also 666 dollar burger). Gothamist is calling it the “douche dog”.
By my calculations 2300 bucks can buy 1649 regular hot dogs from my local convenience store or a 15% downpayment on a compact car.
Upside: It’s for charity. Downside: Only Bloomy can afford it. They might as well offer $2300 caramelized dog shit…
$450 waffles – http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/youngandhungry/2012/07/23/get-your-450-waffles-at-back-alley-waffles/
I guess the hipsters can eat them in their $2000/month 300-square-foot luxury tenements.
I have a Lee-Enfield 1917 passed down from my great gran. Would be so ironic to bayonet those 1910-dressed fucks world war 1 style.
http://www.howhipsterareyou.com/
Couldn’t check out this site, the douchebags require you to sign in with Farcebook, and I will NEVER join that shit….
I’m with you there brother.
Am I the only one who’s noticed that since fb went public all of a sudden a shit-ton of new sites now require you to login or comment through your fb account? Someecards was the first I noticed, you can still use your non-linked profile and comment there, but you can’t submit user cards anymore without linking that profile to fb.
Then several newspapers started doing it, most notable the Chicago Tribune. They were one of the first I noticed to require commenters to login via SOME other source, but you had a choice between google, yahoo, etc. Now all of a sudden it’s only fb.
I’ve got my own wacky conspiracy theories about the true nature of facebook (I work in a field that directly benefits and profits from data mining of all types, that’s why I’m not on the fb, before facebook was even invented, I had already seen too much), but all of that aside, there is no question that more and more of the internet is in collusion with fb now to drive as much traffic through there as possible.
And from a data mining standpoint it makes perfect sense. Facebook is the one place on the internet where most people seem to have no fear whatsoever about using their real identities, posting their real contact information, real demographics, real everything.
But since folks like you and I are not on there, we can’t take this quiz, or comment on a Trib story, or make and submit for use our own ecards. And so many people do, and are happy to, that I don’t believe that either fb or the outside websites or any of their advertisers are really going to miss our tiny little bit of traffic and hits because so many other people do it without thinking about it and not only link all of their online activity into one nice neat little bundle of data, but also help advertisers immensely to better target their ad campaigns.
And in this world that’s really what drives everything anymore. Ad dollars.
Sorry for the long and totally unrelated rant. Just happy to see someone else smart enough to keep their business to themselves and not sign-up for fb…
Facebook is like, so mainstream.
Breaking! Breaking hard on Gothamist! — A hipster (yet again) proves diehipster right:
http://gothamist.com/2012/07/24/paul_rudd.php
The best quotes from the hipster:
“I’m a unique guy not that many people know it yet (that’s what my mom says at least) … ”
“To date, I have just loitered as close to craft services as possible hoping someone likes my look that day and asks if I would like to join the production team. (Complete disclosure: that hasn’t worked out so far.)”
Sweet Jesus. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched that same level of insane entitlement with wannabe writers, who always assume if they can kiss an editor’s ass long enough, said editor will give them a four-book contract and a six-figure advance check right then and there. A couple of years ago, things were so bad with wannabes trying to foist manuscripts at the American Bookseller’s Association convention that the convention specifically stated that anyone foisting manuscripts or self-published books on guests would be kicked out, and they STILL did it. “I know that the signs are there, and I can read them, and I see the big security guy with ‘DORK KILLER’ tattooed on his knuckles. I just KNOW, though, that if Leonard Nimoy can read just a couple of pages of my new book, he’ll give me an endorsement!”
” I’m just some schmuck from Oakland, CA…” Yeah sport, we figured that out. Keep standing around and all that will happen is that pigeons will shit on you and rats will gnaw on you. High school drama club members have taken all the cushy intern production assistant spots already.
Seriously? This guy can’t even be bothered to start his own artisanal pseudo-company, so he’s just going to hang around someone else’s place of business in his hipster costume hoping somebody spontaneously realizes how awesome he is?
In my opinion, maybe there should be some sort of “welcome to ny” tax for these filthy weasels. Such as in order to gain residence, they have to cut a check of 15,000 to the city to be used for public services or something.