Before I watched this New York Times video, I thought I was in for one of those moments when you want to throw your computer out the window. However, I was a bit surprised at the amount of times they poked fun at the typical Brooklyn hipster – even though it was done politely and that all in all, they glorified it. As we all know by now, the NY Times just recently – about two years ago – discovered Brooklyn, well, Nieuw Breukelen. Now every week you can find lots of articles about artisanal cupcakes, pseudo-butcher lessons, Romper Room art galleries, beard competitions, annoying fusion restaurants with sleeve-tattooed chefs, the magic of planting a seed and watering it to make it grow, and so on.
I got sick when they started saying that “Brooklyn” is now a world-wide phenomenon; that in France people are saying “Tre Brooklyn”. Newsflash: people around the world knew about Brooklyn loooooooong before the hipster and yupster beardos invaded; that’s why Brooklyn is and always has been the world’s biggest melting pot. It’s been a place known for welcoming hard-working people that just wanted to come to America to work, live affordably, start families, and raise kids in a non-pretentious, zero-cool-factor way. That seems to be changing though thanks to the organic pussy invasion who will stomp on each other’s bearded faces and climb over each other’s backs while draining their suburban parents’ bank accounts just to say they live in a cool Brooklyn zip code.
The part I loved in the video was when they stumped themselves when trying to count the number of famous bands or musicians (that are actually all recent transplants) to come out of Brooklyn. I think they named maybe two – two of which I never heard of and are not even remotely famous compared to [enter your favorite mainstream artist]. What a joke! Just think of the thousands and thousands of horrible hipster self-proclaimed musicians that must have passed through Brooklyn over the last decade as opposed to the number who have achieved any fame. It’s hysterical. That also goes for anything related to being creative. The scale overwhelmingly tips in my favor.
I guess the best part of all of this is that The New Yup Times, the hipsters and yupsters still avoid southern Brooklyn like its kryptonite. I really hope it stays that way. Nothing to see here folks. We have non-organic vegetables, $1.00 coffee and all sorts of accents; even the Brooklyn kind – stay the fuck away.