106 thoughts on “Brooklyn & Not Brooklyn

  1. I was watching “Drive-Ins, Diners and Dives” last night and there was some trend-o place in Philly being featured. Par for the course, the guy running the place is some pasty beardo. Nothing says “appetizing” like finding a pubic beard hair in your food.

    • That show has gotten to the point where all you have to do is throw crumbled Fritos on your food and Guy Fieri. You can’t get away from this guy. He’s on for several hours a day.
      It’s almost as if he has to document these places before they go out of business.

      • Fieri has a line of salsa that tastes absolutely nothing like salsa.It’s like he just threw in whatever ‘extreme’ ingredient he could think of. I bought a jar and threw it away after the first chip. Mrs Renfroe’s ghost pepper or habenero is the best.

    • what are you?

  2. How zany? It appears when Hipsters eat out of a food truck there is a need to spice it up with jazzy music and video cuts from one Hipster jerkoff to another while making the whole experience seem above average. There is nothing zany or incredible about eating food out of a truck and drinking a modelo beer but the “Look at me Hipsters” must turn it into something its not. ITS FOOD OUT OF A FUCKING TRUCK!!!!! Thats it!!!! Its been going on in Brooklyn for years, nothing special!!! The most mundane thing Hipsters can turn into something unbelivable…The only thing missing in the video is the hipster bulldike wearing a black Tshirt with the sleeves cut off and “The Warriors” in red across the front while showing off her Americana style Pinup girl Tattoos (more like Betty Boop). The very Tshirt she got when she hit Coney Island for the first time after she moved here from the midwest state of “I dont fucking care”! She was so zany she went to the souvenier shop behind Nathans and just had to have it even though she never saw the movie.

    PS, There is no fucking Neighborhood in Brooklyn called South Slope you fucks!!!

    • “The most mundane thing Hipsters can turn into something unbelivableā€¦”

      Like artisanal breathing?

      • We should bring back the fad of the oxygen bar and trumpet our artisanal fractionally-distilled oxygen – which the hipsters will need in about 30 years when they find out their American Spirits will give them COPD just like Marlboros.

      • Or cooking your corn with a blow torch?

        • Not trying to defend these fucknuts, but, a blowtorch actually is a chef’s tool. I know of quite a few recipes that call for a torch.

      • remember, you have to pronounce it “art IS an all.

    • Thank you! You made my day!!!

    • I’m waiting for these hiptards to decide their pets are ‘transgendered’.

      “So, this is our dog, Buster. Since we had his nuts cut off, his gender’s very, like, flexible.”

    • yes there is.

    • There is also no such place as ‘East Williamsburg’.

      • There’s also no such place as ‘South Brooklyn’ but we had to draw the battle line and secede from the city. Bloomberg needs to build an electrified fence.

        • Someone asked me once, “Didn’t you used to hang out in Nolita about ten years ago?” So I said, “‘Nolita?’ Never heard of it. What the hell is it? A bar? A restaurant?” He gave me a look like I was stupid or something. Turned out it’s another fake, made up neighborhood.

          • Not to argue, but they designate Brooklyn North and Brooklyn South as police districts, even though there is no official name. Just like they divide East and West Harlem and East and West Bronx. I am assuming that’s why they started using East Williamsburg too. But when you start calling Flatbush Kensington, that’s to make these fucking hipster/yuppie/tourists believe they live in a nice area.

          • I understand what you mean about police districts [Midtown South, Brooklyn South], but ‘East Williamsburg’ and ‘Nolita’ are designer real estate terms.

  3. Like yah, did you know, like “El Diablo” means “The Devil” in like spanish? Yah, like culture in gritty Brooklyn.

    gentrifying yuppie cockrags.

  4. There had to be some shitty-tattooed, pasty red-bearded douche nasally texting on his iPhone about his “authentic taco experience”. Fucking die.

      • Daaammn, the second and third photos in the top link nearly killed my eyes. That’s what inbreeding looks like. That’s as far as I got.

      • Uggh . . . way back when (early 90s and earlier) I used to call dudes like that “victims”. Looking back, I can definitely say I and those I called my friends looked like “weirdoes”, “freaks” or “misfits” but we were crazy looking weirdoes, freaks and misfits who at least looked like we could defend ourselves. The guys in those pics wouldn’t have lasted in the 80s. I could see those guys in those pics getting stomped quite easily out by art fags (they seemed to be legion in the DC metro area back then) or those “Erasure/Echo & The Bunnyfuckers” brat-pack chicks.

        • There’s a difference. Freaks and art fags existed in the 80′s, but they were GENUINE. These pukes read/saw on television how that generation dressed and where they lived and spent all of their trust fund imitating the scene. I don’t give a fuck how many tattoos they have. They will never be hardcore. Fuck them and the putrid vaginas that bore them.

          • Amen. I could easily see a so-called artfag giving a hipster a bloody nose. I used to rag on artfags and the chicks into that subculture, but it was lighthearted and I had a bit of a crush on some of those chicks. Also, a lot of them paid their dues in the punk/hardcore scene the first time around, so there was a bit of respect on that level. Being “different” in the 80s was actually dangerous, and that’s why you would’ve never seen these Fauxhemian tryhards back then.

          • Cool pics. The dude in top pic, second from the left, looks like he could be Gene Simmons’ younger brother. The contrast between the kids in those pics and the tryhards is like “damn!”

          • The guy who looks like Gene Simmons last name was Novielli. We used to call him ‘Novi.’ We were just real people having fun. No pretense, no irony, no bullshit.

    • Dear sweet Jesus… Just looked at that link and I thought, “We really do need the North Koreans to invade.” Didn’t read any of the article, just looked at the pics. Need eye bleach now.

      • I got about 10 words in. Shoot me now. Even better, have them committed – they have some major screws loose.

      • It would take a combination of North Koreans and Khmer Rouge to straighten them out.
        OH, POL POT, WHERE ARE YOU ?

      • My exact, very first thought when I saw the article was that any military age male that attends one of those needs to be immediately drafted and sent to Afghanistan.

        • If we drafted Zooey, Josh, and Caden, we’d be fucked. Think of how WW2 would have ended up. “Like, yah…take a picture of me on the beach and make it all vintage!”

    • You want to make their eyes bleed? Show them this:

      The brony crowd takes to this sort of vile the way the Williamsburg crowd takes to “Portlandia”: “I don’t think it’s funny AT ALL.”

    • Weird geeks, but not hipsters.

      • Aaron, trust me. You haven’t seen them in action. I found myself in an old antique shop in Dallas about a month back, and it didn’t click that the store had a big toy section, mostly of stuff from the early Eighties. It came to me when a couple of no-chins practically tore the door down to get at the My Little Pony in the window. I thought that “Star Wars” fanatics were bad, but here were two classic beta males, squealing like schoolgirls over a new baby…because they’d found a fucking toy. Likewise, the local “craft fairs” are just loaded with My Pretty Pony crap, most of it authentic bootlegs being sold as vintage, and the vendors have dedicated audiences of late thirtysomething beardos, all yammering excitedly about stealing the originals from their sisters when they were kids.

        • Heretofore, I had no idea this world existed. I am completely at a loss for words. Do I have this correct, there are grown men who dress up like characters from a little girl’s cartoon and have a convention? This is really a thing?

          I saw a documentary about plastics that said more and more males are being born with screwed up testicles because of the chemicals. Is that why this is happening?

          • Sir, I work for the chemical industry and NEVER in our secret tests have results like this turned up! However, studies have shown that rat populations turn homosexual/asexual due to overpopulation–when there’s too many rats in the cage, something in the brain flips and heterosexual reproductive sex is no longer desired. I truly believe this sort of behavior (“bronies”? have you no shame?) is a result of overpopulation.

    • Who are these guys trying to kid?

      They’re trying to get girls. The pervy part, is they’ll tend to attract LITTLE GIRLS.

      *shiver*

    • Ok, I am completely nauseated from scanning this article. Talk about arrested development. They call themselves Bronies, which is really another word/term for furries. This is just demented and twisted.

    • I find that insulting to uh, cats.

  5. I noticed in the first video you actually have Spanish people eating tacos

  6. And so another quirky Anthony Bourdain Moment ™ unfolds at the upscale roach coach. If the little bastards want real and gritty, they can visit *any* construction site. Oh. I forgot, by the time they get up and out the truck guy is back at the barn washing up the rig to prep for tomorrow. Fucking poser losers.

  7. If “Taxi Driver” was filmed today:

    lol Elmo at 0:16

    • Sexism is actually pretty bad in France. There, it’s considered normal for dirty middle-aged pervs (DSK, anyone?) to stare (I don’t mean look, I mean STARE) and ogle attractive woman, even in some professional settings. That being said, lesbians =/= hipsters.

      • Here’s a French horn-ball cutting straight to the case with the late Whitney Houston:

  8. If there’s one thing I ALWAYS say, it’s that what this world needs more of is (non-latino) white americans selling tacos out of a truck.
    Because, you know, all the mexican and latino owned taco trucks are not very authentic.

    • And Asian food is not immune from it, either – Andy Ricker and his Pok Pok is the epitome of whitening and brightening Asian food for the yuppie….and he expanded from Portland to….Cobble Hill.

      And there’s also the beardos operating the charmingly-named Asian dumpling restaurant called “Dump Truck” – geez, what an appetizing name! Maybe I shouldn’t go to one of the dozen or so Asian carts or the Polish cart with homemade pierogies and eat gyoza made by beardos!

      • We have the McThai, and then there’s this guy from Thailand who cooks *real* Thai food – it tastes nothing like the the other. The McThai is completely de-flavorized. I’m trying to to keep the real Thai place a secret.

      • I saw a Rickshaw Dumpling truck outside my job one afternoon. I walked up to look at the menu: $9.00 for a container of 5 dumplings…and people were lined up to fork over the cash. Correct me if I’m wrong, I’m not Asian (I’m Irish + Puerto Rican), but isn’t that food supposed to be cheap / affordable? I don’t wanna say what neighborhood in Brooklyn (in case the hipsters read this) but you typically see dumplings around 6-9/$3.00, maybe more, and they are good.

  9. Ahead of me in the coffee shop was a Wally Walrus-mustached Josh with gauged ears and a nearly shaved head. When he sat down, I went “Ha-ha-ha-HA-ha”, headbutted him a few times, and took his New York Times.

  10. White Jazzy horn music “from Brooklyn”. CHECK
    Close-ups, blurs, shaky camera video whimsy. CHECK
    Two quirky, zany canklesauruses kissing. CHECK
    Yuppies giggling deliriously over food as basic as a fucking taco. CHECK
    Red-bearded tattooed douche texting on his iphone about his authentic taco experience. CHECK
    “Old school tattoo” business logo. CHECK
    Pretentiousness and gentrified thievery profiting from Latino exploitation. CHECK
    Fedoras, lumberjack shirts, beards, Buddy Holly glasses, and Union Pool. CHECK

    I’m so surprised that there wasn’t a long line of “creative production” credits rolling down for this video.

    I hope they all fucking rot. Yuppie scum.

    • LOLLLL

    • Mr. Baerga – a very wise man.

    • Being from Mexico City, there is one thing to point out, tacos are exclusively Mexican, not generally Latino. The rest of Latin America have nothing to do with the taco. That said, El Diablo sucks AND is overpriced, but so do most Mexican food trucks anywhere in the U.S.

    • I notice ‘mom’ manages to escape answering just WHO bought her kid the fairy outfit she rants against. Are we supposed to believe her five year old also magically makes toy clothing appear?

      I see years of therapy ahead for that kid…

  11. Well, I can’t see the “Not Brooklyn” video anymore. They made it private, probably because they’re afraid of everyone from this site.

    • LOL that was quick. They’re fucking ashamed and they know it. Mother fuckers turning a simple meal into a ‘like yah’ iTunes commercial.

    • Who on Earth makes their youtube video ‘private’?! It’s like those a**holes deleting the negative comments and leaving only the supportive ones. Spineless d*cks

      • Public videos are obviously too mainstream.

        • Well, I have some videos of my pet cat named Fred that I only let my folk see. I don’t want every troll to bring the hate. But… if you’re going to hire professional videographers to make an art-school video project of your hipster taco joint, then don’t punk out and hide the shit when the general public calls your pretentious hipster ass out.

          To paraphrase my favorite line from Full Metal Jacket: All Fucking Hipsters Must Fucking Die.

  12. I ordered delivery from Calexico once and I thought nothing of it because the guy who picked up the phone had an accent, so why not try out something new?

    It’s when the delivery came that I got nauseous: Daisy Dukes wearing, pale skin and face lice residing, a dumpster diving slap ass from Wisconsin holding the bag!

    • I hate to say it but after see all the pictures on this site, I am hoping that the delivery person you mention was female.

      I swear if I see a dude wearing daisy dukes I am just going to hurl on the spot and it’s going to him right in the kisser.

    • Worse. They’re from Connecticut.

  13. The hipster video was set to “private”. Looks like they were ashamed of it. Boo!

  14. So I just saw this a few posts down and I had to comment.

    These motherfuckers call themsleves BROOKLYN BASED so we all know what that means…

    THESE ATTENTION SEEKING PIECES OF SHIT TRAVELED ALL THE WAY TO BROOKLYN, PAY INFLATED RENTS EACH MONTH SO THEY CAN UPLOAD YOUTUBE VIDOES OF THEMSELVES PERFORMING IN THE SUBWAYS?

    I just dont get it.

    Mom and dad back home in the midwest must be really proud of them.

    • St. Vitus Dance strikes again. Soon they will die. Please…

      • Too funny! Let’s hope they don’t usurp that term and turn it into a name for a new, like musical group, like yahhh. (although it would make a good name for a genuine punk band. But then again, do true punk rockers even exist anymore or have they become hipsters?)

        • Please disregard my comment. A band by this name already exists. Shoulda known better.

  15. I can tell the difference between genuine fun and EXHIBITIONS OF FUN.

    The above is definitely EXHIBITIONS OF FUN.

    “LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

    “LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

    “WE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO URBAN”

    “LIKE YAH”

  16. Same here.

    I remember doing that shit when I was 10, 11 and maybe even 12.

    It never even crossed my mind to have somebody film me and then upload it to a computer so the whole world could see me.

  17. Haha – those pussies made the video private. So what, is it now an inside joke among privileged adult children? WIN!

  18. I would rather starve than eat out of a food truck. Especially meat. It’s filthy. The sanitary conditions are a joke. But some people just can’t stop themselves from stuffing their faces, instead of waiting until they get home to eat. That’s why Americans are so overweight.

  19. Well BxButthurt, don’t you feel nice and self-satisfied right about now? All that superiority must fill you up just fine. That’s fantastic.

    Now get the fuck out of the way so I can get a hot dog or I’m gonna fill you up with something alright..

    • Quiet you limpdick troll. Keep stuffing your face with ground up assholes and eyelids which is what your hot dog is made of. With a nice topping of E. coli from the filthy water. Why not just eat out of a trash can with the other vermin?

      • You’re the limpdick troll. Go back to your circlejerk in Park Slope or Bk Heights you vapid eitist.

      • The great part of your comment is that you don’t understand that I’m perfectly fine with what I eat.

        It’s YOU that isn’t. You are not going to it eat, so what’s your fucking problem dickless? Hmm? Weren’t feeling self-satisfied enough today so you’re seeking to right the world again? Did you put the cape on your Mommy saved from when you were five years old? You gonna set everyone straight on what to eat and who to associate with and what to think?

        You’re a fucking facist. A walking, talking land of fertility for the next dictator interested in thought experimentation and mass murder. You’ll put on your jackboots and march lockstep without blinking an eye.

        Do you hear your Mommy saying,”I’m so proud of my little darling?”

        I laugh while you stumble in the dark…

  20. Never mind. A band by that name does exist. Oh no! My unhipness is showing!

  21. I’m actually the one who filmed the 1st video… the “Brooklyn” video. That’s the Tacos El Bronco truck in Sunset Park. I’m so proud my video made it onto this site. :)

  22. Wow you guys are angry !!!

  23. Tacos El Bronco is great!!! The resturant i just as good as the truck with a wider selection.

  24. Re: hipster self-seriousness: There’s a pizza place here in SF that is quite good
    but as one patron said, ” the pizza’s good, but the staff doesn’t need to act as if they’re discovering a cure for cancer or something.”

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