Live from McCarren Square Garden! Here is tonight’s line-up!
Hulk Logan Vs. Andre The Stick Figure
Beta Male Randy Savage Vs. The Ultimate Messenger
Ricky “The Vegan” Steamboat Vs. Jake “The Kickballer” Roberts
Brutus “The Barista” Beefcake Vs. Rowdy Roddy Pipecleaner
Captain Lou Albino Vs. Jesse “The Beta” Ventura
Greg “The Hummus” Valentine Vs. Hill Billy Josh
Razorless Ramon Vs. Hayseed Jim Duggan
In tonight’s Tag Team Action we have:
The Bushwickers Vs. The Art Foundation
The Bushwick Bullogs Vs. Legion Of Lattes
You gotta be a wresting fan to truly get the hilarity here. Bravo!!!
Classic!
hahaha glad I could provide the inspiration! Absolutely classic!
One of the most hilarious posts I’ve ever seen – total gold
Brutus ‘The Barista’ Beefcake vs Rowdy Roddy Pipecleaner has me in tears!
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/mob-sauce-summit-colombos-bonannos-sitdown-suspected-family-recipe-theft-b-spumoni-gardens-article-1.1095311
I sure hope none of these porkpie fucks plan on taking any recipes from the natives for their own overpriced sustainable restaurants. lol. Otherwise someone might get their head broken.
Serving sauce in the safe zone…build it and they will come.
And then you can kick their teeth in.
Assistant Brooklyn U.S. Attorney Nicole Argentieri probed further as to what makes L&B so special.
“They put the sauce on top of the cheese,” Russo said.
___________
Wow. Fuckin’ revolutionary.
Rowdy Blogger Piper v. Bam Bam Liberal
Bam Bam Liberal LOL
Thanks A LOT. Now we’ll have them riding busses and trains dressed like Mexican wrestlers.
The last thing you want is to give Jakob and Molly reasons to create and wear form fitting costumes.
Unfortunately, the whole mexican wrestling thing DID became a fad with some of them. Probably some post-proto-got too late to the party-wanna-be punkrawkerz tossed in with the audience as well. Someone thought enough of this to make that movie starring Jack Black, the godfather of hipster airs ( though I do think the guy is talented in his own way ), that revolved around the mexican wrestling thing. I even saw adverts from ‘local clubs’ popping up to announce events in the newspapers. Kind of tossed in with the usual clubs featuring indie bands of some sort or the other. I think interest in it slightly faded in favor of…
Roller derby. Nationwide a thousand cankled Megans and Jess’cahs and Ashley’s decided it would be very ‘Betty’ of them to form roller derby teams.
It’s so typical of their boring tendency to recycle rather than create. Wrestling, roller derby, kickball, hitler hair-do’s, penny farthings, mom jeans, ball huggers, neo-hippy hookah suckers, hesher, easter egg hunts when it’s not easter, faux prarie pioneering, suspendered pants just like great granpappy wore, granny’s underwear and dresses, disco cum house cum techno cum rave cum 80′s video game music cum whatever new thump-thump neon music off a laptop…it’s like one long stream of vomit and regurgitation reflecting a complete lack of real creativity.
BTW. My fav is Lou Albino. I had to read it twice. Subtle. Great!
This is why I figure that we need to sponsor a Williamsburg Thunderdome league.
Legion of Lattes changed their name to Latte Lumberjacks led by Josh Cena the winter scarf wearing beardo. His tag line is You HAVE to see meeeee!!!
In slightly related news, should it be any surprise that to a hipster, drugs are better than working?
http://www.thefix.com/content/cat-marnell-quits-job-pursue-drugs90260
Oh, I can’t WAIT for that book she’s allegedly writing. That is, if she ever comes close to getting it on paper, as opposed to talking about it incessantly to the fire hydrant after she’s evicted from her apartment for nonpayment of rent.
Leroy, that’s the magazine xojane.com that had the feature story on the plumper that was upset that she couldn’t get food stamps to buy her Mast Bros chocolate and mayonnaise in crystal jars.
That’s why I had to share this one. Boy oh boy, it’s like weekly newspapers never died.
xoJane beauty correspondent = serious drug user. Kat looks kind of presentable except that none of her pictures show her in full detail. Definitely a psycho personality to match.
http://www.xojane.com/author/cat
Remember Emily, their sex correspondent (seriously, I would have sex with a dead horse before I would touch this thing with a 50 foot pole).
http://www.xojane.com/fun/ill-try-anything-once-stripper-shoes
She’s a drug addict all right.
Oh yeah – she’s up there. I couldn’t even take four minutes, and I’ve raised teenage girls.
You lasted longer than me, I couldn’t even take 1 minute after she tried to throw up her arms in gangsta poses. Home girl is definitely strung the hell out on something. Maybe she’ll work on those bath salts next, and wind up in the news for eating some crotch dropping’s head or something.
9 seconds… with the sound off.
Girlfriend is buuhlasted.
“COCAINE IS A HELLUVA DRUG”
omg…give me some biscuits…i watched the whole thing!
besides the awkward, jerky body movements that could pass for some neuro-muscular disease process as well as a speed addiction…she blabbers on about self-tanners…the worst part is she thinks she needs to demonstrate how to apply this stuff…honestly? your supposed fans are that fucking stupid they need a video tutorial how to rub shit on their skin?
anyway, she takes the damned towel and goes for the vag rub..in between her ass cheeks…AND THEN USES THE SAME TOWEL TO RUB ON HER FACE, EYES, HANDS…
This should be a perfect example for men to remember the common sense of,”No glove, no Love.”. Unless being a walking back of STD’s is your thing…and clearly for some of these hipsters, it IS!!
sorry…back = bag
“….as opposed to talking about it incessantly to the fire hydrant…”
LOL! cracked me up
Of course, it could be a coded way of saying she was FIRED!!!
Being fired from a nothing site like xoJane must be an achievement indeed. I’m sure Special Edd would understand, being fired from Mast Bros (non-paying) position of in-house historian and archivist.
Two things
WHY would you record anything about beauty products in that filthy apartment?
She also shaves her whole body- how much hair do you have to have to need to do this?
(I couldn’t get any further than this)
That was my first thought too. If I was filming any kind of video in my apt, I would make sure it’s clean. I would take beauty advice from Tammy Faye Baker before I take it from this woman.
You also wouldn’t film any serious commercial or promotion on an iPhone in portrait mode. Then again she’s selling beauty products to hipsters.
I see a “Faces of Meth” video in her future. Best part, she’ll be going “Look at Meeee. I’m famous”.
anybody ever noticed how many hits a day that xojane site gets? does it have a counter on or in it somewhere? i don’t go to it unless someone posts about it here…what i read here is disheartening, or hilarious, enough…
And Hunter S. Thompson committed suicide…..
homegirl is sooooooooooooo far from being a Hunter isn’t she?..he actually had writing talent and his implacable procrastination was tolerated because of it…she doesn’t have NEAR the vocabulary nor ability to objectively assess a thing…and, despite the mythological errors that surround Hunter’s life, he was not a snarky prick like most hipsters are…no, she’s like many aspirants to the throne…she makes all the wrong assumptions of what it means to be ‘gonzo’..that all you have to do is make observations through a drunken, drug addled haze of self-righteous oration…it’s always extremely easy to suss out Hunter’s pseudo-fans…same with Bukowski, whos stories were never really his own so much as a guy by the name of Red ( a real wino on the skids ) and just how much exaggeration and fictionalization Buk used…i’m not a fan myself but just about every homely, virginal boy i’ve met is LOL
Kat’s more of a junior high school kid experiencing her first joint…and my bet is that is the level of writing she will remain at….
Oh, I can’t WAIT for that book she’s allegedly writing.
Yeah, the title is “Hvcd J Ynmnhf4.” Should available for download from Amazon in 2015.
“and part time vampire”??? Seriously?
Don’t let Stevie find out about this, those two would make some truely worthless and funny looking kids together!
You mean same-gender couples can reproduce now?
http://www.xojane.com/issues/mommys-new-tattoo
Latest Novelty Children’s Book Explains “Mommy’s New Tattoo”
“When I see a parent with lots of tattoos, I don’t think they are scary, I think they are probably just cool.”
This sentence it all kids. It sums up the context it’s placed in even.
Yeah Megan, because what’s REALLY important in parenting is to be ‘cool’. Make sure you try to be your daughter and sons bestest friends. Act and dress like children, compete with their immaturity even, so as they grow they understand fully that babyhood is the ultimate achievement and adulthood is ‘sewww…errr….yahhhh….nawt kewl…’.
It’s sickening. These morons seem to be willfully suspending their disbelief so they can believe that eternal youth is actually achievable. Maybe that’s a good thing because their kids will resent them for getting old and dependent and abandon them. Maybe they’ll even eat them because it’s recycling and more organic. AFTER they’ve used up mummy and dah-dah’s savings, of course.
Hulk Logan is hilarious – I bet when he pins his opponent, he celebrates by taking out a can of Krylon and spraying his cupcake tag on the mat.
I couldn’t think of one for the Iron Sheik. LOL
Iron Sheikshack?
lol! Good one!
Koko B Fare….trade.
And yeah, Hulk Logan was the one that got me Literally Laughing Out Loud.
The Ironic Sheik?
Lol! How about Ravishing Rick “foodie”
Paul E. Sustainably and the Sustainable Alliance
Ahahahaha BRILLIANT!
Leave us not forget “The Barren”.
Hulk Loan! LOL!!!
Most people don’t remember Brutus the Barber Beefcakes. He was my favorite wrestler when I was a kid.
Hey no fair. Despite the fact that Williamsburg guys are actually all misogynistic assholes underneath their noodle-bodied avant pretensions, I think you need to include some female wrestlers:
- You forgot about Chyna. That’s simply the 89 lb Chinese-American girl all these guys want to date. She wins by shaking her silky hair at them and they all fall down exploding in their pants.
- The Nitro Girls, in Williamsburg, become The Nitrate Girls. These are girls who are really into organic rooftop farming and their secret power is discussing really boring bullshit until you just walk out of the ring.
- Lita’s Williamsburg incarnation is Litre, a girl who spent exactly 4 months and two days on a study abroad program in England and now despite the fact that she’s from a cul-de-sac in Connecticut and has been back for a year, only uses UK spelling and slang (she “fancies” that “bloke” for a “snog”), not to mention the Metric System. Litre wins because the judges simply love her pretentious “Keep Calm and Blog in British” t-shirt
- The 1990s Diva “Sable” simply becomes Mercury Sable, after the very first car her doting parents got her when she turned sixteen, back in the tough gritty streets of Fond du Lac Wisconsin. She wins by tormenting you by claiming to be a New Yorker through her cheese-clogged Wisconsin sinuses, unless you put her in the ring with a non-midwestern vegan hipster wrestler (from someplace really urban like Hastings-on-Hudson New York — no really, she rides the Harlem Line) who belittles her for her murderous lactose addiction until she has a nervous breakdown.
(These are all I can think of. By the way, I am a 31-year-old native female Manhattanite from what used to be a great low-income normal people’s hood called Yorkville and I remember watching WWF at age 8 and successfully swinging one of the boys from the neighborhood around by the arm til it was amiably conceded I was awesome…)
Thank you NativeNYGirl, thank you. It is all I need say, other than that I’m a native NYer, mostly Brooklyn-ite, and reading such things from this perspective makes me warm and fuzzy on the inside. Best to you!
Aw <3
Agreed, and thank you. I’d like to add a new fighter to the ring. SoWhat Sophie weighs in at 83 pounds, and she hails from Portland, Oregon, the greatest city on Earth. At least, that’s what she tells anybody who gets within range. SoWhat Sophie specializes in cornering her opponents and stating forcefully that anything they’re doing was already done to death in Portland, and she knows this because she was a major force back in the Rose City, What she won’t tell you is why she won’t go back if it’s so much better there: she owes $40k to various people when she was trying to get her vintage zine store off the ground, and her yuppie husband discovered that his manic pixie dream girl was screwing her entire Etsy collective behind his back.
“…and their secret power is discussing really boring bullshit until you just walk out of the ring.”
lol
“and successfully swinging one of the boys from the neighborhood around by the arm til it was amiably conceded I was awesome”
fuckin a!! i’m going to be laughing all day
Bingo! These toxic male-gendered transplants really HATE women. Something I’ve noticed over the years as they have taken over Williamsburg like waterbugs. I’ve often wondered what on earth produced these seemingly identical spindly mutants in such large numbers. Is it the water where they come from?
It’s funny you mention that because I’ve noticed that myself. It doesn’t help that these beat males want to go beyond just hating and fearing women, they want to mimic stereotypes about women, ( e.g. spindly bodies, mental/emotional weakness, uptalking, same gender displays of affection (iow, the handshake and shoulder punch is replaced by full on body hugs and hair fiddling ), wearing make-up, short-shorts, choosing flowery clothing, wanting girlfriends who will sustain them financially, coddle their dreamy hobbies, etc etc )), but also condemn women who seem to meet these stereotypesl. IOW, they’re bums. Wanna-be men. They weren’t taught to respect women as human beings and individuals and the peers I’ve come across who think that way also tend to worry about the approval of other guys, which is faggoty as all get out. Adult men don’t need the approval of other adult males and they don’t brag about shit that most well adjusted adults understand unequivocally to be private.
They wouldn’t last a second outside their own social circle.
Beth from Phoenix, the Native New Yorker;
NatalLikeYah Neidhardt;
Meagan Meagan;
The Cupcake Twins.
The Million Dollar Man – Toby DiBiase
Joshy “Super Skinny” Snuka
Funemployed Ric Flair
Kazoola (Kamala)
OK YOU HAVE TO STOP WITH TOBY
)) That’s MY name and I am a Native New Yorker who grew up on government cheese! I know you mean it for a dude, though, so we’re good bro 
)
Andre the Foodtruck?
Yes!
Brutus “the Hundred Dollar Barber” Cupcake vs. Red Rooster Farmer
The Ironic Rockers vs. Neighborhood Demolition
Timmy “Super High” Hookah vs. Dick “The Waddle” Cartel
Brooklyn Brawler vs. all of them
Timmy Super High Hookah!!!!!! AHAHAHAHA
Stoner Cold Steve From Austin. That’s a guy who smokes so much pot he has a constant bronchial infection (also due to the aggravation from the climate change from moving from Austin)
The Million “Like, Yah” Man
Rhythm-less Shoes vs. The Rooftop Killer Bees
The Immortal Sulk Brogan vs. The Frock
Omg this whole thing has me rolling and I needed it after the night I was having. I can only pray my weekend makes up for a Logan hitting on me, the ex drunk sexting and the cabbie who thought he would be cute and take me on a detour to Manhattan.
My mom used to take us to see WWF back when I was little and the only place you could see it was MSG. I grew up knowing these names. But you’re forgetting one of the managers that was female. Can’t. Remember the name, Rita Mae or something like that?
Ding! And the fight begins…
It’s not an official hipster fight unless there’s a Whole Foods in the background. Oh wait……
I’d say they fight like girls, but that’s an insult to girls. When I was a girl I could whup anyone’s ass! Now I’m a lover, not a fighter.
pure awesome.
The Ironic Shriek- special power is yelling about organic, fair trade, wild-caught, cruelty-free salmon
Unrelated, check out the first graph in this article about Portland economic trends. This could double for Brooklyn employment growth, too, if the hipster flood doesn’t stop.
http://www.wweek.com/portland/blog-28768-the_future_of_jobs_in_portland.html
And Now A Word from Our Sponsors:
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How about:
The Playtex Cankle Bra!
Canal water…
not exactly two words used together that inspires the idea of ‘fresh’ to me…i can think of lots of canals world wide the dipsters might like, though they wouldn’t survive for long after ‘experiencing’ them…
Check out this classic hipster moonbat; could you possibly be any more of a living cliche?
http://news.yahoo.com/one-protester-occupy-becomes-way-life-101039606–sector.html
I love the comments. Even though the media continues to glorify these bums, most people see right through it and realize that there is nothing special about someone who squanders an education to live the life of a homeless 1960′s hippie. In fact that person and the people like him are harming this nation nearly as much as the banks are. There needs to be some sort of middle ground achieved between the sloven and the greedy.
There is still a very active Occupy group here in Minneapolis. Maybe 20 or 30 left that have been beaten by the hardworking people (and in some cases by the police) so many times for holding up downtown traffic at rush hour that now they have taken to “occupying” foreclosed properties so the banks can’t clean them up and get them back on the market.
What none of them realizes is that they have completely basterdized and villified what was once a pretty respectable idea to the vast majority of americans. Yes, the banks are greedy, and the rich people are getting richer. We know. And most people are not happy about it.
But sitting in the middle of one of the busiest intersections in the city for their look-at-me fest just keeps the “99%” from getting home to see their families. Holding hands around an empty property and singing we shall overcome just keeps a “99%” contractor from getting his check to empty and clean up the property. Even the vast majority of the people who work for the banks were once simpathetic to this cause. Now it’s just a bunch of lazy people who don’t have to work. And unfortunately don’t have to…
Speaking of hippy bums who imagine themselves as having monumental meaning, this is one of my new favorite trainwrecks to laugh at periodically…dude’s apparantly around 35 ( thirty freaking five!!!! ), semi-actor and one time favorite youtube freak ( though it looks on closer observation to me that saying his ‘views’ have dropped is a massive understatement ), and permanent bohemian ever ready for a new adventure and fund-having mark, occasional waiter, heavy pot smoker, conspiracy theorist, quasi-swami-thought guru, etc etc….a walking stereotype in other words…he’d fit right in if it was 1966 and likely wishes it still was…
if someone held him down and bleached his hair, he could be…
Ian “Nature Boy” Fleafairy
Entering the ring, Nature Boy flings coconut shavings in the air, does some yoga postures, and lectures his opponent about eating healthier food.
Several of the commenters made the obvious connection: freelance online community organizer – freelance artisanal pharmaceutical purveyor. That’s the only way a dumpster diver can make up $700/mo rent+utilities+ishit connectivity bill.
One of the other commenters pointed out–this jerk graduated Harvard in 8 years to become a professional idiot–I loved that one, so true! And probably not paying back student loans but somehow lives in $1400/mo. apartment, doesn’t want to work at a job because it’s too much, uh, WORK.
Nobody’s even paying attention to the attention whores anymore, because when you find out who these “occupiers” are, this is more often than not, who you get.
I’d say he’s insane or unable to adapt to society. Who does he remind me of? Another Harvard grad unable to cope with society, and who decided to go to a remote cabin in Montana to perfect his craft – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unabomber
Occupy should have broken camp much earlier and declared victory before nuts like Guest came in, and especially before the police sent every crazy and petty criminal to Occupy for handouts.
“…said Johnnie Godette, who works for a local education organization called Foundations for Life. “Them coming here to move and diversify the neighborhood is definitely a good thing.”"
in other words, them coming here to whiten up the neighborhood is a good thing…them coming here to push out the poor, knuckle dragging, unsophisticated, brutish mud people is a good thing…them coming here to act like the pseudo-liberal fucktards that they are is a good thing…(obviously, these kinds of translations could go on for pages! )
it’s like ‘white flight’ in reverse…
“Every organization … that I have ever worked for is just trained to say, ‘Oh yes, well, at some point we all have to be realistic,’” said Guest. “And I said, ‘No. I don’t want to.’”
Could this idiot be more revealing? I bet he gives about as much thought to his own rhetoric as he has OWS’s: Zilch.
“The world is a big giant trauma right now. And this community that I’m in is something that tries to build pockets of healing,” he said. “All you have is other people. That’s what this is all about. It’s people who care for each other against an unaccountable system that doesn’t have to listen.
“It’s like, are we going to live in a world where we throw each other under the bus every chance we get, or are we going to live in a world where we take care of one another?”
What this guy refuses to comprehend and wrap his play date mind around, like so many of his equally stupefying peers, is that there are people in the world who are EVIL. Period. And they lay awake at night and think about ways to fuck America up. Shitbags like this guy just make that process for the bad guys that much easier.
The word that you are searching for is “prey”.
I’m always amazed how activists always think we all think like they do and are just one basket-weaving class away from seeing everything their way.
Just like the Film Actors’ Guild
and MATT DAMON.
(see if this works)
So the hipsters opened an art gallary in a part of Brooklyn they have no business being in and then seem surprised when the locals start robbing them.
http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/35/24/dtg_studiothefts_2012_06_15_bk.html
Artists opened their studios in Bushwick — and in walked the criminals.
While hundreds of art lovers toured the neighborhood for Bushwick Open Studios earlier this month, burglars and muggers prowled in and around 56 Bogart St., committing five larcenies and one robbery near the building, which served as the de facto center of the festival.
On June 1, two thugs assaulted a man as he entered the L train station at Harrison Place across the street from the arts complex at 1:30 pm. One perp punched him in the head, while the second grabbed the man’s wallet and fled.
Later that day, a thief stole a set of keys from Larry Greenberg, the director of the Studio10 gallery in 56 Bogart St. — which boasts a half-dozen galleries on its first floor.
The following day, thieves stole a gallery worker’s iPhone from the front desk at 11:45 am and snatched a laptop at 1 pm.
Several doors down at the Slag Gallery, another crook stole a worker’s wallet while she hosted open studio hours.
A thief also swiped a diamond ring from a jewelry studio upstairs, according to tenants of 65 Bogart St.
“The building was a target,” said Greenberg. “It seemed like people were handing stuff off to each other.”
The gallery-packed area has suffered thefts before.
In September, a crook buzzed himself into Interstate Gallery and took director Tom Weinrich’s laptop. The loft’s landlord put up security cameras a month later, which reportedly deterred the perp when he attempted to return in December.
Cue thater kid look of surprise.
Notice they didn’t take any art.
..theater kid…
sorry
Even criminals have better taste than that.
Nearly 25 years ago, Garry Trudeau summed it up:
http://www.gocomics.com/doonesbury/1988/06/04
I was about to say the same thing. The only ones interested in taking that art are the sanitation dept.
Sad to think that once Daddy’s dime runs out, they won’t even be able to sell their artworks for PBR.
I’m pretty sure I brought this up a few years back, but the Deep Ellum area in Dallas got its main push back in the Eighties thanks to one Jeff Swaney, a property owner in the area. He was the guy who pushed the idea of Deep Ellum going from industrial district to yuppie playground, and who promptly crashed when the yups found other places to play. A couple of years ago, he pulled out a huge collection of art he’d purchased (or traded for free rent) from what were, back then, some of the big names in art in the Southwest. When I say “you probably wouldn’t know any of them,” it’s not a hipster affectation: you really wouldn’t know most of them, because the vast majority either got real jobs or died of overdoses by 2000, and most of them were unknown outside of Dallas anyway.
Well, Swaney was hurting for money, so he made a big deal about having an auction of all of his collectible art. Big names, he emphasized, from the height of Dallas art in the late Eighties and early Nineties. I never heard the final tally on his auction, but I understand that with the vast majoprity of it, he would have been better off having a big bonfire on Elm Street, and handing out marshmallow sticks.
That’s because there wasn’t any. Maybe they’ll come back to steal the security cameras. At least they can get a few bucks for them on Craiglist.
The Groovemobile…heh heh…you know what to do
http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/35/25/dtg_cherylvan_2012_06_15_bk.html
“The troupe started throwing underground parties since 2008, and has since earned residencies at the Bell House and Littlefield — and just got back from England last week from a month-long tour.” WTF – why did we let them back into the country? They’ll wind up in jail or Bellevue – just watch…
“Dance revolution: Cheryl members Sarah Van Buren, Stina Puotiner, Destiny Pierre, and Nick Schiarizzi show how easy it is to do the “Cheryl,” an eponymous, spontaneous line dance that made their arts collective famous. ”
Famous my ass.
What gets me even more is how they let them into the United Kingdom.
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1072778381/free-mobile-dance-parties-with-cheryl
They got their $4,335 of their $4,000 goal. 90 backers = $41.87 per backer.
Good to know their money will be put to good use.
Which brings me to another question I’ve been pondering for a while, namely: don’t these people ever get tired of endless parties and want to settle down? I mean, I did a lot of crazy shit too when I was younger and I had a good time doing it. But after about 5 years, it all started to feel like a broken-down record. When you’ve been to one dance party, you’ve been to ‘em all. You want something more permanent and lasting. Even the hippies finally cut their hair, shaved their beards and got jobs. Yet hipsters just want to go on forever being children and living off their parents. What gives?
Their parents let them live off them. And they don’t know what a broken record is.
Actually, a hipster beating would probably break their records, since like yah, vinyl is so much more obscure than nasty old digital files.
I forgot about their vinyl fetish.
Their parents are delighted to have them several states away, and not in the spare bedroom. Worth every penny!
“The Jaime-and-Evelyn show happened when the Crowleys had just sent off their youngest child, a son, to Northwestern University. Their empty nest, which they’d started to savor, refilled after just months.”
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/06/15/boomerang-moms-when-mommy-returns-to-deal-with-adultescents.html
Anyone ever notice that every that goes on in this country is all about the Baby Boomers? No, Boomers, it isn’t all about you or your kids. The boomerang kid phenomenon is nothing new. You all thoughtyou would raise your kids differently so they wouldn’t turn out to be like all of those “awful GenXers.” Sorry bout that.
Meanteverything,noteverythat.
Yeah, yupsters can whine louder than their hipster spawn. That’s not necessarily limited to Boomers either.
SwampYankee: Your comments under that article are tremendous.
Of course, there’s the sinister champion from parts unknown – The Underwriter (or maybe, the Underachiever)
Duke “The Dumpster Diver” Droese
The Brooklyn Bawler
The Fabulous Parents’ Moolah
Razorless Ramon
Damn,
Forgot about Brutus The Blogger Beefcake
Classist Freddie Blassie (Or Class-war Freddie Blassie)
The Iron-Deficient Shriek
Harley Racist
The Nurtured Boy Ric Flair
Sleeping Lanny Poffo
Pretend Cyclist Killed By Truck
By Chadwick Seitan
NY Times Correspondent
June 15, 2012
Police had to fight off the angry mobs today as they tried to sort out the tragic death of a Williamsburg performance artist.
Josh Hasbro, 28 a Brooklyn based mime and part time bubble tea artisan was pretending to ride a bicycle at a busy Bedford Avenue intersection
when he was run over by a Spencer Gifts delivery van.
Hasbro, unconscious among a sea of edible panties and novelty shot glasses, was worked on by disinterested paramedics when he was soon pronounced dead
on the scene.
Within minutes of his demise, Hasbro’s Bushwick based theater group, “The Claymore Mimes” arrived at the scene in silent protest, holding up signs that read, “A MIME IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE” and “MIME KAMF!” (the latter, according to Bushwick cultural liason Marni Smegma, is a reference to society’s genocidal tendencies toward mimes).
Many mourners appeared holding their hand up pretending to take photos while snapping their fingers. Noah Bottleneck a social media intern sat on the curb busily creating a memorial blog for the dead performance artist. “I didn’t know him, but he was quirky and creative. When we lose people like this it’s always a loss. What was his name again?”
Sargeant Joe Messina, the attending police officer was asked about his feelings regarding the tragedy.
“He’s a f**cking mime for crissakes” he replied, It’s not like he was on his way to snake out my toilet”.
HAHAHAHAHA!! Perfect.
The Claymore Mimes!
You should be publishing and editing the Times.
LMAO.
Hacksaw Blade Josh Dubuque.
Don’t forget to add that everyone’ll get a trophy just for participating.
In the Brooklyn Universe, it should be Andy Kaufman giving hipsters a Jerry Lawler-style bitch slap.
The Big Showoff vs Artisinal Candy Kane
also featuring Shane and the Mean Streets of Bushwick Possee
This thread is crying out for this:
“Capt. Lou Albino”
ROTFLMAO! I had to look at that twice to make sure what I was reading!
I’ve been trying to think of a hipster name all day for Mr. Perfect but so far haven’t got anything funny enough to post here. But instead of gum the Williamsburg version spits out his mast bros chocolate and NEVER catches it.
Mr. Participation?
I’ve got it:
“Mr. Participation” Curt Hummus
“Mr. Experience”
Everything hipsters do is an “experience”.
(rolleyes)
Mr. Salty vs Chief Jay FrenchPress
Ric “The Beekeeper Boy” Flair.
George “The Animal” farmer vs. Haystacks Livingroom?
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/national/2012/06/kindness-america-hitchhiker-actually-shot-himself/53610/
He’ll get a certificate of participation from the Montana State Patrol. And a show on Fox.
Another look at me event for calebs from ohio to run amok in Bryant park
http://www.metro.us/newyork/local/article/1145592–how-to-sign-up-for-musical-chairs-in-bryant-park-on-wednesday
I will never understand these dweebs. First prize, a park chair? Fucking toddlers.
“I would be very afraid if an actual fight broke out,”
Oh FUCK ME.
“Fight” my ass….it would only be a bunch of nasal whining.
Super glue the seats, folks. Field trip!
LOL!
Super glue is fantastic because it’s compact and no one cares if you’re carrying it!
It’s also great for squirting into the door locks of artisanal free-trade coffee shops.
the problem with this blog is that it takes aim at a oftentimes legitimate target but does so with little class. the ‘todays hipster beating’ just making you sound like a fucking moron.
can’t you bring down hipsters without sounding like you should be in prison?
LOLLLL
No, I can’t Caleb. Now put your wool ski hat on and go back to Wisconsin.
er i was born and raised in bensonhurst.
Right.
and why shouldn’t that be so? because i’m not a small minded thug like you come across. the hipsters aren’t my favorite people either but i don’t suggest killing them. if one of them got beaten down and this blog got cited you’d be in the shit. think about it.
Asians really fucked up bensonhurst, I remember when it was an italian-american stronghold. “no-class” is clearly a hipster envying chinaman. I feel sorry for you bro.
wrong – my family are Norwegian in origin. and btw – how did the asians ‘fuck up’ bensonhurst? that’s very offensive.
lol youre 56? get out of here clown. did you lose your job or do you always make time to stalk your previous posts? looks like youre trying a little too hard to defend your contention that you somehow still matter in this world. But guess what? – you don’t. by the way, my condolences on you losing your balls.
so don’t give me your i’m ‘not a real brooklyner’ bullshit.
you’re clearly just a fucking loser bully. what happened to you in your childhood? how the fuck do we even know where you were raised?
Guess who overdosed on estrogen again.
HERRO STEVIE!!!
he tries so hard to pretend he’s a different person every time…
if you’re so legitimate champ, why don’t you stick to one handle?
can’t take the heat?
all the ‘no class posts’ are by the me. and the ‘shut ‘em down’ posts – that’s me too. not trying to be a different person especially – just using the handle to reinforce my opinion.
happy to take the heat until wordpress pulls the plug on this blog through violation of its terms.
yes i’ve seen that already – it’s pathetic.
that’s exactly the sort of thing that’s more likely to get this blog shut down when wordpress are evaluating the official complaint that has been submitted.
you’re doing a great job of digging your owen grave lol.
get over yourself cheese. This website is legendary.
not for much longer.
Classic hipster reaction: “I’m telling mommy. She’ll take your ball. You’ll be sorry,”
Go away and act your age. You should be ashamed of the waqy you’re acting. Nobody put you in chaqrge of policing the Internet.
i am acting my age. i’m in my 50s and won’t advocate violence. it’s you who are behaving like teenage thugs.
violence is always wrong. i have lost friends and brothers to violence.
also you don’t seem to understand the internet. people police the internet and this site advocates violence. so, yes i have submitted an official complaint to have this site shut down by wordpress. the hipsters take drugs and drink and i don’t want them in my neighborhood but you advocate killing them and that’s wrong.
Get a sense of humor you fucking pussy
Words are not violence an if you were a real 50-year-old who experienced violence AND NOT A FUCKING TROLL YOU WOULD KNOW THAT, YOU PWECIOUS SNOWFLAKE YOU!
jersey dave. no words themselves are not violence but they can incite it.
that’s why wordpress have rules that mean they shut down blogs that do that – like this one.
you’re no better than the hipsters that you hate it seems. you don’t agree with my opinion and the wordpress’ rules so you immediately say i am a troll and not who i say i am.
well dave – it’s fucking news to you then isn’t it that of all the millions of people in brooklyn there are some of us who are real new yorkers who are neither hipsters, yuppies not small minded thugs.
I understand what you are talking about but shutting down this blog doesn’t necessarily make your problem go away. It’s child’s play to export all the posts and comments and host the site somewhere else where it’s even more unlikely that it will be shut down.
I think it’s best to just comment here if you (partly) disagree with the opinions here.
So here goes:
While I loathe hipsters everybody has a right to live the way he or she wants to. What I see here is people basically saying everything has to stay the same or go back to how it was in the past. That seems quite backwards and conservative to me.
I have seen people here state that in the past it was better because there were gangs making neighborhoods unsafe, but hey, at least there weren’t any (quite harmless) hipsters.
The owner of this weblog and commenters claim that hipsters are raising rents, but I say that owners of property and the market are the actual cause. In every Western city more and more people with money want to live in the inner city, causing prices to rise. It is a global phenomenom, but it seems that people here like to think it’s unique for NY.
Finally, most the people here try to supress any deviating opinions. If you say something critical about this weblog or its ideology, expect a shout down from all the resident commenters. But in the end, being a majority with an opinion doesn’t necessarily mean you are right.
I find that this site – or, more accurately, the commenters on it – walk a thin line between hating NYC’s brand of gentrification and hating anybody who moves to the inner city.
In NYC, it is really annoying how quickly gentrification happens and how much the media seems to try to support it by publicizing ordinary stuff hipsters do. That pisses me off as much as it pisses off anyone.
But the fact is, if you’re a “real New Yorker,” hipsters moved in because your cousins moved out, and if your cousins hadn’t moved to Long Island, that would be one less spot for hipsters to take. The hipsterification is a natural consequence of white flight (and I mean more the idea of white flight, which can also mean Indian flight, Asian flight, black flight, etc.), not some weird anomaly that happened to NYC.
I noticed one commenter, a while back, complained about hipsters “ruining Buffalo.” That’s just absurd. Because A) Buffalo has nothing, which means it has nothing to ruin and B) The type of “hipsters” who’d move to Buffalo are so different from the type who’d move to Brooklyn. If they really had trust funds and attitudes to go along with them, they’d be moving to Brooklyn. Anyone who equates the (sometimes equally annoying) hipsters who repopulate dead industrial cities that nobody gives a damn about with those who saturate Brooklyn precisely because people DO give a damn about Brooklyn is missing the point and probably has a more broad hate for people different from them, rather than a specific hipster hate.
With that said, Brooklyn is not Buffalo. Brooklyn has lost a shit ton of its economy and is devolving, in many ways, into a Manhattan-feeder. Anyone who would call the small-time specialty/artisan shops a true “revival” of Brooklyn is buggin’. It’s not a revival. It’s a transformation of what would otherwise be a convenient commuter town into a hollow luxury development. The Nieuw Brooklyn is a Starbucks that tries too hard to preserve its “local character” where all you wanted was a bodega with some “We are Happy to Serve You” coffee.
So, Johan, I think that many people here do recognize that its NYC’s particular brand of the trend that’s problematic, not the “urbanization” trend in itself. But when the more broad hate kicks in, it undermines what is otherwise a pretty clever site.
Of course it’s the landlord who is doing the actual rent-raising, duh. But only the sub-urban, coddled, no-life experience, attention-starved, corny fucking hipsters are dumb enough to climb over each others shoulders to pay it – not caring that normal city people are the ones suffering. And as the owner of this site – I can assure you I never once said I wish gangs and thugs ruled our streets. Occasionally a not very bright person may say that on here. The truth is though that there are bad places in this city and when some stupid Zach decides to walk through a bad hood while drunk and i-Pod blasting in his ears; there’s no one to blame but himself if he gets mugged or fucked up. If hipsters insist on forcing bikes into a crowded and congested city – then they WILL be run over from time to time. NY politicians of yester-year made the wrong decisions on forcing poor minorities into certain areas or projects resulting in most of todays crime. There had to be a better way – they just didn’t find it.
My issue is, and always has been that I come from a great and relatively safe part of Brooklyn that is still hipster and yupster free and full of real culture and not some Apple/MTV/LiberalArts/Disney fucking world. Sure different naionalities replace each other of the years but they are not being replaced by wet-behind-the ears, vapid, hayseeds.Our rents – although they’ve risen simply because North Brooklyn rents have SKYROCKETED – are still some what affordable and I want to keep it that way. If you are anyone else doesn’t see the comedy, satire and slap-stick humor (not violence) of this site – well then I say your are a fucking moron.
Hear, hear. BTW, I always know it Stevie or someone like Stevie when they start bringing up “the internet police.” Oh noes!
Thanks for chiming in, DieHipster in Chief. I don’t want to know where you live. Because if I do go there, chances are, I’ll let the knowledge slip to some hipster and it’ll get ruined.
I grew up in a city that has had somewhat of a “hipster” element since I was a kid. If it hadn’t had that element, it would have just been a standard upstate NY wasteland. So I grew up associating the “artisan” shops with coolness, because my city didn’t have much else.
When I got older, a lot of my friends moved to Brooklyn. They told me that it was like home, only better: there were more cool things to do and there was public transit to take you to your job in Manhattan. It sounded awesome: it was like home but better in every way.
But since I’ve been here, I’ve noticed that it’s really not better than the place I grew up. Perhaps it used to be like where I grew up, only better, but now it’s a totally different mutated beast. I grew up with hippies and punks, and I didn’t realize that hipsters are a different breed of urban white people. Hippies and punks open businesses that are maybe a bit more expensive than Taco Bell, but they still aim to be cheap. And the hippies and punks who opened these businesses in my hometown were generally from the area and had some identification with it- they’re not Wesleyan grads who are trying to be pioneers where everyone can see them be pioneers.
The other thing that’s sad for me is that, when I was a kid, I used to fantasize about being a “real New Yorker.” I grew up in the inner city, but in a detached house at the end of a dead-end street. Apartment buildings were few and far between. I used to think about how cool it would be to live in a tall building and yell across fire escapes at neighbors instead of having to knock on their doors to yell at them. I used to think of how cool it would be to ride trains everywhere. A lot of my thoughts were essentially of a place that was like my home, but better. My ambition wasn’t to be some hip dude in NYC, it was to be a regular-ass dude in the city, because, to me, a regular-ass, middle-class NYC life seemed like the coolest thing in the world.
For a long time, I assumed that was what most people wanted out of moving to the city. But boy was I wrong. Instead we have people coming here because somehow a simulated cul-de-sac in Brooklyn is more “authentic” than a real cul-de-sac in Culdesacia. What a god damn mess.
stone cold would crack the mast brothers heads in and then give a stunner to every josh and megan within a 3 block radius.. Then he would crush some steveweisers and kick that pbr shit to the curb!
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s Johnny!
I’ve been lurking this blog for a while now; this is the first time I laughed so hard that I cried. Well done.
I’ve read almost every one of your posts and this is by far my favorite of all time.