Well Caleb, Kyle, Zoey, Zach, Molly, Josh, Xander, Colby, Megan and Chase – ask and ye spoiled motherfuckers shall receive. The MTA has caved into the demands of the parasites of North Brooklyn by giving them an extra 100 trains per week. Why? I have no idea. What I do know is that since the MTA is always crying about how they have no money – they certainly are going to take away service from other parts of the system so they can cater to the unwashed masses of North Brooklyn. So remember: If you ride any other train than the L train and you start seeing less trains, or dirtier trains, or whatever you feel is lacking; blame it on the transient pseudo rock stars and artists of North Brooklyn. Why do these funemployed interlopers need more trains? They don’t do shit.
Now, Zoey can get to her 1:30 PM Post-Modern Yoga class on time in the East Village from Williamsburg. Caleb can now pluck away on his upright bass an extra 40 times a week on L trains and collect change in his fedora hat even though he lives in a $300,000 condo. Kyle will now be able to sleep late – even a little past noon - and still get to his 2:00 pm part-time barista job. Colby Lewis and Xander Clark will not have to wait very long on scary subway stops as they pioneer and explore East Brooklyn with their Indian girlfriend Sackogoodweeda. Molly and Josh will now be able to be seen 3 times as much in their purposely paint-stained artiste clothing as they shuttle themselves aimlessly back and forth between Bushwick and Union Square. The No Pants Subway Ride organizers are popping locally sourced rooftop Champagne bottles as you read this.
The craziest part of all this? 80% of the so called ”straphangers in need” that these articles mention will have left Brooklyn and NYC in about 18 – 36 months just to be replaced by a whole new batch of their inbred, attention-starved, fauxhemian cousins from Culdesacia, USA.
Congrats hipsters and yupsters! Your dream of turning Brooklyn into a homogenized extension of your liberal arts campus is happening before your eyes! I’m waiting patiently until you turn Nathan’s into a bookstore and add a unicycle lane onto the Belt Parkway you fucking filthy pussies.
I just made a chocolate bar in my toghtie whities.
I used to work the second shift (3pm) and I lived at the Morgan Ave stop, which is already quite a gentrified stop. I ALWAYS could get a seat.
You know where the train REALLY filled up? Not Montrose. Not Grand. Not even Graham. Lorimer and Bedford. The entire Williamspointwick area may be saturated, but the real congestion happens just because of the insane amount of fashionable motherf*ckers who leisurely ride the train from that tiny, tiny area. It’s not just that they concentrate in Williamsburg- it’s that they concentrate EVEN MORE within that 1-mile radius around Bedford and Lorimer.
So next time you see a hipster on Knickerbocker Ave and say”Really? You too?” just think about how relatively adventurous they are in comparison to the landed gentry two miles to the west, and be glad that you’re not part of that overblown bubble.
Will the trains have Alec baldwin as a conductore and a smiley face painted on them?
These chumps would not even ride the trains in my NYC (Brooklyn) 1980s…. They would be prey…What do they contribute to NYC anyway that they need so much train service?
yeah…its almost comical…back in the 80′s they just didn’t exist..when in came into Manhattan back then, i would take the G train from Bway and transfer to the L at Lorimer/Metropolitan Ave and those thick eyeglass wearing, artisanal, cruelty free eatin’ motherfuckers were NOWHERE to be found….now its like an infestation. i feel physically ill at the very thought of them
And let’s not forget that the additional trains out there are going to be just like the bike lanes. They’ll scream and yell and cry and stomp their widdle feet about how “This is IMPORTANT!”, but once they get it? They won’t use it. Threaten to take it away because they aren’t playing with it, though, and the tantrums start all over again. (We’ve got the same shit going on out here in Dallas with bike lanes. The Critical Massholes in Plano and Uptown are crying and screaming about how we HAVE to have bike lanes throughout the city, but I know exactly what’s going to happen. Six months out of the year, you have to be dedicated to ride a bike in the day in Dallas, and these shitlickers aren’t dedicated. Therefore, all year round, the lanes will be completely unused by anybody other than real bike commuters, and there really aren’t enough of us to make it worth the extra effort. Besides, simply understanding that it makes more sense to share the road doesn’t make any impression on hipsters, because if they can’t have it all, they don’t want it.)
I generally hate the idea of bike lanes (inefficient use of space, and the lanes are arguably more dangerous for everybody involved – as it puts bikes in door territory, or out of sight from motorists, or right next to pedestrians, or on the wrong side of the street) and I commute by bike.
That said, I’ve seen a lot more of the old R32s running on the A line lately. I wonder if there’s a correlation…
Looks like they traded the A cars for the C a few weeks ago, though I still see both styles on the A line.
I was at Grand Army Plaza this weekend and the dumb@ss bnike lane inside the cars on Prospect Park West was as empty as a hipster’s soul.
Elderly woman hit by bike and killed in Arlington
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/jun/12/elderly-woman-hit-bike-and-killed-arlington/
Young woman kills delivery man with car, walks free
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/12/driver-who-fatally-struck-man-while-texting-avoids-jail-time/?ref=nyregion
Fuck. Life of a poor Chinese delivery guy sure is cheap these days. Spoiled shit.
That’s because he was on a scooter, which basically doesn’t exist in this dimension. If he was a beardo on a bike there would be demonstrations and headlines, and the massholes would be out in droves.
You’d think he swore all old ladies could jump around like Captain America.
Leroy, I have many blue ribbon schools in my area. The helicopter parents of the children who attend these schools are unbearable, intolerable and unreasonable. Every school board meeting they’re always screaming for something. For years it’s been “WE NEED MORE COMPUTERS!! WE’RE BEHIND IN TECHNOLOGY!!” So the schools got an unprecedented number of computers and facilities the likes of which would make Bill Gates weep.
They are largely unused and kids use them to surf the net.
When swimming became the in thing due to Michael Phelps, the same entitlement tribe was clamoring for a pool. “WE NEED BETTER ATHLETICS!!!” no the real reason is that swimming looks good on your application.
The pool – a long course olympic sized one – is largely unused. The coaching staff? Well thank God they do other stuff – like teach. Why? Any kid who’s a competent swimmer, swims year round at a club. When these precious snowflakes realized that competitve swimming requires a sh*tload of hard work and discipline, they ran like rats from a sinking ship. Then the same parents who demanded a pool complained about the coaches being to hard on their little Nathans and Xanadus.
And the list goes on: COMPUTER LABS!! ANTI-BULLYING SEMINARS!!! A NEW STATE OF THE ART AUDITORIUM!!! A RECORDING STUDIO!!! A PUPPET THEATER!!! Diverisity labs!!!
Meanwhile…my school taxes have doubled.
The biggest folly however took place at my highs chool back in the early 70′s. A few “progressive individuals who controlled the purse strings decided we needed….
A planetarium.
Yup my school has a full blown, state of the art planetarium. And since 1979 – when the only science teacher who knew how to use it (and was against it’s purchase) died – it’s been rarely used. I think they use it for storage and lectures.
What they didn’t count on was the additional maintenance. Since it was built, at the beginning of every school year – someone managed to paint a giant Marijuana leaf and “ELP” (Emerson Lake and Palmer. on the white dome.
Heh. At my day job, I work with a lot of guys who love to come up with simple and cheap solutions to expensive issues in their spare time. We’re talking the sort of characters who smoke the Maker Faire wankers every single time. One of my friends here related how his old high school had a planetarium built in the late Seventies, and the same thing happened there. Then, as if they weren’t already tapped, the school had a couple of yup fussbudgets start yammering about getting it operational again.
Now as then, the school very rapidly discovered that this was an unfunded mandate. The fussbudgets cried to administrator friends (Texas is split up into hundreds of little penny-ante “Independent School Districts”, mostly to keep these administrators from a life of two-dollar blow jobs), and the administrators told the school that it HAD to get the planetarium up and going. However, there was no money available other than basic maintenance, and there was no way that they could afford to get the control systems necessary to bring everything up to modern spec. My friend, though, noticed that we had a lot of equipment lying around that was better than standard planetarium control gear, and all of it was being thrown out because it was obsolete. Well, obsolete for us, but it was a joy for the school, because all they needed to do was keep up the maintenance.
Relating this, my friend also noted a really dirty secret concerning the big push toward “interactivity” in museums. Most kids don’t care about interactive displays so long as the displays are interesting, but you have a lot of fussbudgets who insist “Kids don’t have any interest in old-style museums unless they’re made more exciting.” No, their goddamn ADD parents don’t have any interest, and museums have to entertain them while the kids are kvelling over the dinosaur skeletons. The museum administrators listen to those parents, though, so they try to get interactive systems installed instead of focusing on, I don’t know, making sure that the displays are more accurate. What they usually get are kludgy “signage” displays that are more of a resume-builder for the designer and installer than anything else, which break down incessantly. Even if they don’t, they’re constantly needing to be upgraded, which is the fervent hope of the designer and installer. When the museum simply doesn’t have the money, the designer cuts them off from further support (if the designer and the manufacturer hasn’t already gone out of business), and the museum usually depends upon enthusiastic volunteers to keep those displays going. It’s especially bad when the exhibit owner gets caught in bankruptcy, like what happened with Dinamation, the company behind the “Robot Dinosaurs” displays in the Eighties. A lot of museums were stuck having to handle and maintain those robot dinosaurs while the courts figured out who owned what and when, and they were stuck having to explain to kids why the Apatosaurus’s neck skin was falling off because nobody was selling replacements.
I think hipster parents and administrators are worse than children. Like kids they want the latest toys because their friends have them and follow the trends of others because it’s cool.
My son attends parochial school. It’s a financial burden for us – because essentially we have to pay public school taxes as well. But it’s well worth the cost. The school is strict and learning is the order of the day (the last week of school is mostly half days. No homework is assigned so they double down on math and science in the classroom). My son – now finishing 3rd grade is required to read two books a week and do a report on one of them. If a child becomes a discipline problem and the PARENTS refuse to straighten their kid out he’s shown the door.
My standard rule for schools is this: If the name has “Friends” or “Progressive” in its name, stay away.
Then there’s this. Beyond stupid. And wreckless. Who in their right mind would spend 32K/yr on an school (that doesn’t use books or tests) founded by guys whose full time gig is to blow on vacuum tube hoses and wear blue makeup?
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/blue_man_dupe_6ltN21ytq0GUDCGusUYmcK
http://www.blueschool.org
Finally. My wife is pretty good friends with my son’s art teacher. The school has an afterschool program of six week courses on diverse subjects as robotics, CAD, Latin, Art history, Languages, etc. The courses cost 45 dollars and they meet once a week.
This art teacher decided to spend one session showing kids paintings and explaining (in very basic terms) such concepts as composition, lighting, etc. All the kids liked the usual stuff, Renaissance, impressionism, etc. Then just for kicks she put up a slide of a piece by Damien Hirst (or something like it). She said the reaction was something like the scene in “Animal House” when the frat is voting oon members and Flounder’s phot comes up on the wall.
One girl in the class uttered, “it looks like cat vomit”.
You are spot on in your assessment of museums. As some who works in a natural history museum everything you say in true. Most people in the field call it “edutainment.” The saddest part is kids, adults love to see the real thing and they are not getting it see it. They don’t care about stuff that moves or things that light up. Nothing works as well as Victorian atrium packed full of the specimens and artifacts (like the Mutter Museum, AMNH). Sadly all the modern architects and exhibit consultants are so into designing space and exhibits have no consideration for the objects and viewers. For example the new California Academy of Science Building is such as waste of space and all the exhibit have so little information you visit the museum in one day and never need to go back. Worst still like you say the nothing but a resume builder is 100% correct. Often times the buildings or interactive exhibits wins all kinds of awards when it is debuted, but in 6 months times or 10 years times the firms aren’t around to see all the volunteers explaining that everything is out of order. Meaning really the machine is broken and we don’t have the money to fix it.
Leroy Jenkem, finally a hipster hater in Dallas. We should meet up and have a drink
It’s funny how the R and C trains have been battling for years for the worst spot in the entire city and South Brooklyns bus service was all but decimated last year due to budget cuts but 100 more trains for this area? When I saw this on the news last night I just wanted to rage.
Same here. And you know that other cuts are going to be made for other services while these idiots continue to use the L line as their own loser parade. UGH!!!
What really burns my ass is that area that are also not properly by trains had all of their bus service cut down by 11 lines in the MTA doomsday budget 2 years ago. All of the politicians “below the line” filed a lawsuit which was later withdrawn when the MTA gave up some of those cuts. We’re now in 2012 and guess where the cuts are coming from again? This mostly affects the senior citizens and residents who don’t live near a train and need to get to Dr. Appointments jobs etc. But they find $$$$$ to add 100 trains a week to 1 fucking area???? South Brooklyn and Staten island were basically told to eat shit. No money my ASS!!!
Sorry for all of the mis spellings or deleted words was a little heated while writing this and hit send without proof reading.
As someone who has been riding the L train since the 70′s (although thank God I don’t have to anymore) that train has had construction on it for as long as I remember. They said the added service will bring ridership down to 98% capacity. That’s still pretty damn crowded, but given the L train runs about every 5-10 minutes, it’s not bad.
What pisses me off here is there are so many other areas that badly need service more than this. Hell I can’t get on the B3 bus without it being crowded to high holy hell. Last night I went to Applebee’s and realized there is no bus service that goes by there at ALL. The movie theatre in Sheepshead Bay only has 1 bus that goes to it. Forget Mill Basin, the only option there is the B100 and that used to stop running after midnight or so. I spent so much in cabs when I lived there. And yet because all of these bastards “have” to live along the L train, we gotta cater to them? Fuck that. How about stop trying to live in an area with a congested to all hell line so that you’re not forced to complain about how crowded it is, and move someplace else! Like out of NYC!
That area was one of the hardest hit with cuts. There are so many areas that have zero access to subway service and not just in Brooklyn. The fact that the MTA can cut bus service to those areas crying poverty while adding massive service to disneyland is criminal. Can’t wait for the jump in the fare.
Now I want Roll & Roaster damn it. But too bad it’s such a pain in the ass to get to by public transportation. And mind you I only live in Gravesend!!
I’ve been taking a class in the area of 6th Avenue and 14th Street (right by the L/F/M stop) and on my way there each week I have to laugh and shake my head at all the hipster f*cks just hanging out in front of Urban Outfitters, just standing there… doing… nothing… just wanting to be SEEN. Ugh.
But tell ya what, reading the article linked below just made me laugh a little harder. Turns out all the money these “liberal” losers spend (or rather, their parents’ money) at Urban Outfitters, well, it’s really going to serve the Conservative Right Wing Party. Yup. Full-on irony, if you ask me.
http://www.alternet.org/culture/155818/how_urban_outfitters_peddles_ironic_conservatism,_hipster_racism_and_other_terrible_values/?page=entire
The N train is already full by the time it gets to 20th & 18th Ave. on weekday mornings, but these are just normal people going to jobs, and not transplants living out their bearded Peter Pan fantasy, so of course they add trains to the L so Harrison and Parker can drink in the East Village at noon, before heading back for kickball.
“its so sad that all of us NOT from NYC are so excited about this performance and the people rushing being slaves to the man cant take 5 seconds out of their day to appreciate some beautiful music”
^ UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!!!! THESE PEOPLE ACTUALLY BELIEVE THIS.
I replied back to that comment:
“We would when we hear it- this isn’t it. Also, what you call “being slaves to the man” is called “making a living.” But I will say that us folks “from New York” obviously don’t “appreciate” your music- I guess the solution is clear. GTFO and go where you can be “appreciated.” Chop Chop.”
Funny thing, I’m not from New York. I recognize shiat when I see it though. Another example of hipsters bringing their scene to us, because NYC didn’t have any culture until these trustafarians came to town from Owhogivesashitia, Ohio.
Those fauxhemians are a shade of white that you don’t often see – do these hipster fucks ever get outside, or do they just hang all day at the snarky $7 coffee house rolling their eyes at locals, playing with their Iproducts, and annoying normal people in the subway station? I pray someone needing room to get past them in a crowded station nudges them in front of the incoming L. I’m surprised the breeze from the train coming in doesn’t blow them out of the station.
Isn’t busking against the law? I seem to remember anyone caught doing this was immediately shown the business end of a billy club.
I saw a meghan at the grocery store last night whose color I can only describe as nightglow. She was seriously the almost clear, almost blue color of skim milk. And wearing almost nothing; tank-top and bootie shorts, with pastey translucent flab sticking out of the edges. She was not really fat, but certainly not fit. Just doughy like most of these zooeys. The only color she had at all was from the rediculous amount of eyeliner and lipstick she was wearing. And of course she also had that blank matt gross look that’s half pretentious smirk and half puzzled confusion.
And I know they get outside, I see this same skintone out in the sun all the time. How can you spend all your time drinking on patios and riding around on european road bikes and playing duck duck goose while wearing granny sundresses and tanktops and shorts and NEVER get even the slightest hint of a tan? Are they all wearing SPF2000 sunblock or something? Is that part of the gentrification toolkit? And if so, what the fuck is healthy and organic and artisinal and local and fairtrade about sunblock??
They’re wearing a coat of organic white lead in the sun.
One can always hope!
The paleness is probably caused by the nutrient deficiency from the vegan diet.
That’s pretty much the same response any time you dare criticize a hipster-run business, too. “How dare you! S/he’s following his dreams! This person is living the life as a successful businessperson while you’re still working for Da Man!” It’s amazing how rapidly they shut up when the company goes under, all because Mom and Dad got tired of subsidizing it.
I also saw a bunch of comments chastising the woman at 2:06 for walking in front of the camera (she said “excuse me”). Yes, excuse the hell out of her for using the subway to get places rather than a place to play music no one would pay to hear.
I’m not against music in the subway, even bad music. It takes all kinds. But when you get in my way then you need to have a cop play a new tune on your head with a nightstick.
Some people just have… GOOD MANNERS. For shame!
There’s some good music being performed around around town. This is definitely not it. That really poor man’s knock off of the great Keely Smith is a total turnoff. My vote goes to the vibes player that frequently plays along the R line and the Andean flute players at the corner of 49th and 7th most Saturday mornings. It’s not just that they are not hipsters but that they are accomplished on their instruments and make fine and truly beautiful music.
this makes me ill…please make them stop
I love this comment:
I’ve lived in NYC all my life and never have I seen someone so unabashedly full of love.”
“Oh my God, the girl all the way at 2:49 who first appears in the back right wearing a red wool hat with the biggest smile on her face. She gets me every time, especially watching her make her way over to the music and start bobbing back and forth with full-body motions to the music, still grinning ear-to-ear. She is pure joy, it makes me smile.
I’ve seen that look many times. In a mental institution.
Apologies to any mentally wounded – no offense meant.
I habe seen decent buskers in downtown San Francisco. Applause was appreciated but they really needed the money. Not like these attention whores. Then again, I don’t go to the hipster part of Mission street so much.
Hey just want to remind you folks to go to the link and vote a thumbs down and pass it on
I have always had a lot of respect for the legondary roots crew. Even after they “sold out” to play every night with Jimmy Fallon, they have still continued to make great music. Once I got past the hipster collaborators I realized that How I Got Over was some of their best work. And then along comes Undun and blows that out of the water. And even if they did sell out, who can blame anyone for accepting a 5-day a week paid gig? They’ve probably made more money in the last couple of years than they did in the 15 before that. So I’m not hating here. But someone just sent me this and let’s just say that my confidence is shaken:
http://www.wimp.com/fallonjepsen/
Fisher price bells? And a KAZOOLAPHONE??? Really?
I realize that this is totally tongue in cheek and meant to be funny, but seriously a Kazoolaphone? Will someone please tell me that the roots are better than the freelance whales?
Finally had a chance to endure this. Jesus christ. Could they get any more monotonous? And FYI, the SUBWAY IS NOT A CONCERT HALL!!! I don’t mind an occasional SINGLE MUSICIAN if s/he can actually play, but this is utter bullshit.
My head just fucking exploded.
Anyone who plays a fucking xylophone in the subway needs to be pushed in front of an oncoming train.
Oh, and NICE SCARF, YOU DOUCHENOZZLE!
It looks like that video was shot with an iphone, a product of hipster culture.
Saw these sh*t-birds on Jimmy Kimmel last night. Check out the smug clapping at 3:22 and the wretched lice-beards
Are there any instruments they have deployed yet?
how is this shit possible? dave had to de-louse the stage after these farm animals finished their “performance”
That’s the weakest response from the audience on that show I’ve ever heard….who buys this stuff?
That sucks SO bad…
so fing funny…. lolololol!!! oooh look at Palmer and Couderoy, you dont get them mannnn…
I sure didn’t like that.
Typical show in Williamsburg
We shouldn’t be cruel to the mentally handicapped. Dave was being nice to let “perform”. That girl is definitely retarded.
Who did they blow to get on Letterman? Or did someone cancel and these were the only guys available?
I honestly just looked it up and was surprised to find that the girl singer wasn’t deaf. I honestly thought she was, and was doing an admirable job for someone with very limited hearing. Apparently, she’s just… Not good.
Say it Brother Butthead.
The entire city is being reconfigured for the benefit of the few while the needs of the many are ignored or contemptuously dismissed. Politicians of both parties are either bought and paid for or have their own agendas and there are no serious challengers to the status quo in sight. We can dream of better days but don’t hold your breath waiting for them to arrive.
I hope “the many” AKA “those who do useful stuff” will soon say adios and leave for more sane pastures.
It’s easy to party like it’s 1899 when you have every convenience at your disposal as a back up. If they really want a taste of the old timey lifestyle they should look to the reality shows broadcast on PBS a few years agowhere familys lived in a certain era. They had to wear the clothes make do with the technology of the time and do the work that was required. A lot of those people wound up getting divorced and/or quitting the show.
It’s easy to cook a meal over an open hearth and not have it fully cooked on time when you can simply order takeout pizza. In ye olde days if the man came home after working 16 hours in the field and dinner wasn’t ready when he got home, someone got a beatdown.
I’m a “bitter ender”, Pat. Circumstances forced me out twice before, once in the early 70s and once in the mid 80s but I fought my way back both times. This time, God willing, to stay. Our hope will have to be in the longtimers, the new citizens and the serious minded newcomers who have always come to New York. The politics of the chic and trendy can’t hold sway forever. It has common sense opposition on the left, on the right and in the center. You frequently see these in the comments on this site. When they reach critical mass change for the better will happen. But not before and not until.
Thought you guys would appreciate this… Just some old NBC surveillance video of Bushwick gangs and police in the early 1980′s. Crazy different then.
*Sorry… meant late 1970′s
To think, most of those guys (that lived) are in their 50′s now. Would be interesting to see what came of them.
If nothing else, I guarantee that they despise hipsters.
I’ll bet a lot of them got their ass drafted. Be interesting to see how that turned out.
The draft ended years before this video (1976).
A lot of them volunteered. One of the reasons why I love Brooklyn is because some of the best guys in my old Army Basic Training platoon in the Eighties were Brooklyn regulars. They didn’t put up with any shit, but they were also the guys you wanted backing you when things got bad.
You betcha. My experience was essentially the same (post-boot camp). The Force is strong…
I don’t understand why they needed to run more trains. I’ve visited a friend who lives around the Montrose ave stop a couple of times now (don’t worry he is not parentally funded or a hipster) and I don’t think we’ve ever waited more than 10 minutes between trains. I can’t say the same thing for other lines.
Jesus, look at that chick in the yupster link with the yellow granny underwear. That paleness just isn’t healthy. And why does she look like she’s about to pounce like a fucking cheetah in the serengeti?
I ride the G train from one end to the other five days a week to get to my full-time J.O.B. Over the years I’ve seen it get more and more crowded with working people (the hipsters get off at Greenpoint, Nassau & Metropolitan only). Yet it is still only FOUR CARS LONG. FOUR. CARS. The trains stop at the middle of the stations and if you’re not there when they arrive you’re screwed until the next one comes 10 or 15 minutes later (on a good day). But can they add two lousy cars to the G? Run them more frequently? NOOOOOoooo. Because it ain’t the Hipster Express. And it doesn’t go to Manhattan. Screw us working stiffs!
It’s ridiculous that the G runs 4 cars. One of the biggest jokes in the entire MTA system.
Doesn’t go into the city so the MTA treats it like shit.
True story. I used to work by Nassau Ave on the G train and that train runs like crap and it gets crowded because of how short the train is.
Oh and hey you Ihatehipsters. Thanks for coming out last weekend.
I think it actually is another hipster express. Think about it; it goes through Park Slope, Carroll, Fort Greene: all yup areas. Then it goes through Williamsburg/Greenpoint and picks up all the ‘like yahs’ that go into LIC where there’s the PS1 Moma and a bunch of new yup buildings. I’ve seen a ton of hipster fucks on that train – I used ride it every day for about 8 months and that was about 4 years ago.
Yuppie once had the loose definition of ‘young, upwardly mobile asshat snob, parents who foot their college tuition for 4 or 5 long years, a strong taste for cocaine, several pairs of pleated Dockers, developing interest in golf, and a beamer’. Some of these hipsters clearly could fit that bill, although I suppose now they’d be driving some hybrid car or bike…and stuffed animals velcro’d to their emaciated, but fully organic, bodies.
If hipsters were so against being labeled as they often claim, they wouldn’t struggle so hard to adopt their own uniform of group conformity. The ones riding in groups I have even less respect for than the ones who, at least, are willing to risk mockery by getting around dressed as Big Bird on their own. Is derision the new bragging right?
“Hey Caleb, I like, totally had at least 10 guido schmucks mocking me today!”
“That’s deck Ethan. Here, have a PBR for your hard work.”
Tastes will always vary, but yuppies and hipsters are the essentially the same, because when you boil down both, there’s nothing there but Conspicuous Consumption.
The difference is that the yups spend their own money, not Mom’s.
I’m just hoping that these extra trains say, “Greenwickburgians Only”–but actually go down to the secret CHUD city (or the HP Lovecraft flesh-eaters, take your pick) and the hiptards are devoured in painful and nasty ways. Just a dream…
Does anyone have any idea how much I want to go on that train with a super soaker filled with sulfuric acid?
Sooooo glad I never have to ride the L train.
Where are the cops when you need them?
oh its a happening. they are soooooo crazy you guys!!
filthy scumbags…
I’ve seen more coordination in the monkey house at the zoo.
http://gothamist.com/2012/02/16/video_subway_shaman_performs_ritual.php
Meanwhile, Special Edd finds a new vocation.
What?? What the fuck was that??!!!??? FUKTARDO DOUCHEBAG doesn’t even begin to cover it. I hope this shit isn’t happening on the Philly platforms. I will be taking the subway on a daily basis starting in July and I don’t want to go to jail!
MeowDragon, I take the Philly platforms all the time and trust me, it’s very close to happening. My ‘hood has turned into hipster hell.
Had to turn it off after about 5 seconds.
Anyone who plays a fucking xylophone in the subway needs to be pushed in front of an oncoming L train.
Where’s Sasha Baron Cohen when you need him?
After a couple of seconds of this video, assisted suicide or euthanasia SHOULD be legal to perform on this cockrag waste of life. Glad I don’t have to ride the L regularly, there’s no stand your ground laws in NY I could use to justify weeding out these inbred mutants for the good of the species.
You mean legalized retroactive abortions. Plus, if the parents try to sue, show them the above video and they’ll come round pretty quickly. If they don’t they receive retroactive abortions too.
Personally I don’t have a problem with LGBT people. (I’ve even attended the parade in the Village a few times and find it pretty cool in its own way) But this walking bedbug factory is something else entirely and needs to be killed before he/she can reproduce.
In this picture, is the guy (I guess) at the right really pissing on the door?
http://gothamist.com/attachments/byakas/6812ltrain.jpg
The sad thing is this picture is not satire at all. Wow…I can see why you can’t stand these types now.
BTW, I’m heading up to NYC tomorrow…I got a job interview (a real job BTW) and I’m just hoping I’m not going to run into any clowns that ran away from the college.
Good luck!
Great. Now can we get the G train to stop dumping my ass out at Bedford-Nostrand when I’m trying to get from Queens to Bensonhurst? Or did we just pour all our subway-fix-it money into running more L trains?
Why on earth would anyone want to go from (ugh) Queens to (ick) Bensonhurst? Like, yah.
“You’re gonna be nothing. You’re gonna be nothing. You’ll never get to first base. All you do is type, type, type, type, type, type. You sit there typing all day like a fat little pigeon.”
Throw Hipster from the Train
So there is a weight lifting gym in Williamsburg. Well, that will have to close becuase it makes too much noise. We can’t have people lifting weights in Williamsburg
http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/35/24/dtg_weightnoise_2012_06_15_bk.html?comm=1#feedback
“…hurl the barbells to the floor.” No, the dumbbells. Named Ethan and Caleb.
And did you notice that Ed Roth (pictured at right) just realized that he’s bald? Some expired PBR made his beard fall out, and now his hair’s gone too. The clown’s whining about noise at 7 am. Hell, people with JOBS are at work for an hour at 7 am. Shaddup, Ed(wina)!
Well, guess who WON’T be seen in that gym? That’s right Megan and Caleb and Colby.
What the gym really needs to do is provide cruelty-free organic styrofoam weights, measured in grams instead of pounds, for the hipsters to lift plus participation trophies in lieu of actual bodybuilding.
PARTICIPATION TROPHIES? You funny, funny mother fucker!
WOW, simply hilarious.
Participation trophies….hahahahah
theyve started their offensive on the bronx http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/bronx-biggest-rooftop-farm-world-bloomberg-administration-plan-article-1.1094371
Yeah. A pot farm maybe.
Hate to play devil’s advocate, but hydroponic gardening is the future. This is exactly how farming should be done in an urban setting. But on a fucking rooftop? Why not put it INSIDE the warehouse? Plus the rain water in NY would have to be run through an OR filter just to rid it of all the contaminants. Might as well just go ahead and make it aquaponics and get fresh fish at the same time, it’d cut down on the amount of water needed as well. That’s the problem with these things, anyone that has enough money to get an operation started has no idea what the fuck they’re doing.
It’s not the idea of growing things on rooftops that bothers me. It’s the fact that these chuckleheads – who possess not one iota of common sense, scientific of technical knowledge – are embarking on projects that can be dangerous and possibly fatal. The roof of every residential and factory building in brooklyn is designed to stiffen and strengthen the structure and to shelter the inside from the elements. The deisng calculations usually take into account dead loads like ice and snow and live loads – like wind..with a certain safety factor built into the equation.The original calculations did not take into account an additional 30,000 lbs of soil, water and stone to grow organic kale.
When you go beyond conventional rooftop usage – like say adding a penthouse, a pool
or a restaurant – the roof as well as the supporting walls need serious structural evaluation improvements. I’m not a structural engineer (I’m mechanical) but I suspect harmonics come into play as well – imagine a bunch of people doing a line dance..bouncing in rhythm, if their rythm is in sync with the natural frequency of the building it will cause the structure to move more and more until it collapses. A betetr example would be an earthquake.
I’m not even going to take into consideration water damage from leaks.
I may be paranoid but in the USA, japan and in Europe we take things like this seriously.
Then there are health issues – contaminated rainwater, air quality, heavy metals in the soil (if acquired locally)…You want to grow this stuff for yourself then knock yourself out. But don’t put the health of others at risk. Mushrooms grow in sh*t. But just because they grew in YOUR sh*T it doesn’t make them safer or better.
…imagine a bunch of people doing a line dance..bouncing in rhythm, if their rythm is in sync with the natural frequency of the building it will cause the structure to move more and more until it collapses.
That very thing happened in Boston around the turn of the (last) century.
A couple of weeks ago a co-worker (who’s a rabid hipster hater) and I stoped at Whole Foods for lunch. We sat near two hipster parental units (I can’t call them humans) were trying to out-mommy each other.The topic was the environment.
The one mother says, “well my 4 year old asked me, “mommy what are trees”?
My friend – with split second timing uttered, “something hipsters will soon grow on the roofs of buildings”.
I lost it. The tofu twins start in with my friend – accusing him of eavsedropping and calling him rude and insensitive.
My friend said, “Listen lady – and I use the term loosely – if you want to speak at a volume
slightly less than that of a jackhammer – than expect others to hear you. Besides YOU were listening to MY conversation as well”.
Finally he added “If I were you I’d spend less time congratulating myself child’s preceived precociousness and start worrying about why your 4 year old doesn’t know what a f**cking tree is”.
God bless your pal and the ground he walks upon. (And I will steal/adapt his closing line at the nearest possible opportunity.
Yo hipsters have been in the bronx some time. I was at a movie theater near yankee stadium on 161st street called concourse multiplex to watch prometheus. Aftet the movie was finished and walkef out saying it sucked, soms caleb looking guy with a beard, big glasses and old shoes from the eighties atarted talkinf to me about the philosophical meaning of prometheus. So far only the southetn portion of the south bronx is hipster.
And Forgotten New York has noticed the hipster invasion:
http://forgotten-ny.com/2012/06/metropolitan-pig/
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/klyn_cyclist_killed_after_colliding_Z64tdi6JW6ghkYyDcqUiRM
The comment section is full of hipsters, I think the silent majority here can share their 2 cents and shut them up
LIke “Benjamin the Musican and community activist”?
I wait until Gothamist throws it up tomorrow. They will be having kittens over this. No matter what happened the bicycle rider will be beatified and the truck diver will be crucified. Seems the victim might have been Orthodox so watch how fast the hipster abandon her. If an real NYC Orthodox jew gets killed they will throw her to the wolves. It it was a transplant they will be holding midnight vigils. mark my words
great fucking post today!!! THANK YOU! i have had it with these vermin.
What all you motherfuckers aren’t seeing is that this is 100 more opportunities a week you all have to throw a hipster in front of a train. It is common knowledge hipsters don’t weigh more than 130 pounds so I guarantee the mess will be minimal and people won’t even see it.
I know what you are all thinking.
‘this guy is crazy’
or
‘this guys a loser’
but I ask you all fellow hipster hating motherfuckers out there,
Its 9:07 am and your waiting for a train that is 7 minutes late.
Little Caleb is adjusting the settings on his ukele, dressed in skinny cordoray pants that your little sister couldn’t fit into and a goonies never die t shirt. (Goonies is the hipster movie of the century, FYI)
BODYBAG_PAT walks by and gives Calebs back a swift Front kick to The little faggots backside and Caleb falls in front of the 9:00 train (which arrived 7 minutes late because of some godforsaken act commited by hipsters).
Wouldn’t you just look the other way?
Great – OWS has a navy – ship of fools…
The idea of a slasher movie where the victims are hipsters is a great one, but don’t you know that the focus of the hate would watch it “ironically”?
http://gawker.com/5918153/hipster-holocaust-an-underground-film-about-a-pitchfork+wielding-hipster-killer
Murdering hipster cyclist in San Francisco charged with vehicular manslaughter! Let the ass-raping begin!
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2012/06/13/MNQ01P1M55.DTL
Well I found a facebook of this Chris Bucchere guy. He was employed…. not a full fledged hipster I dont think