Today, I saw a kickball team of 30 year old Scooby-Doo character look-alikes approaching McCarren Park to play the 3rd grade game where everybody gets a trophy – just like they did in Culdesacia, Wisconsin 22 years ago. So I left a trail of locally-sourced, hand-crafted, bacon-flavored, artisanal vegan cigarettes which led to L&B Spumoni Gardens where I organically broke all their bones with a rolling pin. End of story.
Recent Comments
Sheepshead Bites… on The End. Scooby Doo on Today’s hipster bea… Recovering Hipster on Hasidim Hipsters: Punk Je… T Nails on Today’s hipster bea… Recovering Hipster on Hasidim Hipsters: Punk Je… Site Visitors
I could not believe it when I read that there is a Brooklyn Kickball League with “Commissioner” and I’ll give you one guess where they play.
These people need to f#ck off out of Brooklyn and die.
http://caesarsghost.wordpress.com/2012/06/10/brooklynites-protest-ban-of-adult-duck-duck-goose-league-in-mccarren-park/
The scary part is that I know the photo in that article is a real one. Forget “Halloween or Williamsburg”: someone should collect pictures for a “Williamsburg or Anime Convention” blog.
This has got to be a joke. Has to be??
The first two people quoted are named Caleb and Meghan?
And then these two:
Cyrus Koziar, owner of Sack Lunch, a local purveyor of “artisanal Rocky Mountain Oysters,”
“New York is like the only place where you can play cool games like this and be with people just like you. They’re trying to turn it into suburbia. Well I lived in suburbia, and let me tell you: It sucks hard. The Urban Outfitters in Bloomington is fucking awful.”
It seems a little too spot on if you ask me.
I guess the Red Rover championships can’t be far behind.
Damn this disturbing. And since when is the age of 24 considered “young adult”?
I had to take my kid to practice last week., Now this is a summer league so about half the kids do not swim competitively throughout the year. Before hitting the pool, they’re on the grass stretching and going over the evening’s session.
About 25 kids are standing in front of me – all wearing goggles, lycra swim suits and swim caps.
Then there’s the Mr. participation trophy – carrying about 15 extra pounds in Jams, ray bans and a f**cking black fedora.
Coach tells him he can’t swim without the proper gear. He runs to tell mommy. Mommy comes back and starts braying about – you guessed it – individuality and self-esteem.
He didn’t get to swim.
I love the coach.
My first thought exactly – satire aside (and this was a very, very good one), the fact remains that the photo is still real. That group of adult infants and many just like it are all over the place, making the real part of the article the biggest parody of all.
‘culdesacia, Wisconsin’ had me cracking up.
Young adults? You gotta be shitting me….
OMFG, is that the fat guy they would keep featuring on Look At This Fucking Hipster?
http://lookatthisfuckinhipster.com/?p=151
Yep, It’s him all right.
This is a joke, right? Un-fucking-believable.
Definitely satire. And i’m gonna grab an L&B square on my way back from the beach in case they show.
It’s a joke.
Forgot to add, special thanks to commenter Sledgehammer.
You’re quite welcome. I’m always happy to add my $00.02 when it comes to hipsters. And I think some of the other regular commenters on this site did a pretty good bashing over there, as well.
The Onion could not have done a better piece of satire!
Indeed. I didn’t read it all the way through at first because I was afraid it was for real…
Ahhh you made my morning. Was the rolling pin purchased from a Brooklyn based artisan (I have to ask).
Still waiting for the Die Hipster desk calendar…..
I would totally buy a Die Hipster desk calendar. Several.
Me too. And I don’t have a desk.
http://gothamist.com/2012/06/07/video_free_brooklyn.php
What a viable business idea. I’m sure the horse drawn fruit cart can’t be far behind.
Or the celluloid film museum/matchstick factory.
This type of business is right out of the 80′s in of all places, Columbus, Ohio.
“Now he needs $50,000…” Uh, well, so do I… What a jerk! He didn’t see this when he bought the place? Inevitable failure looms on the horizon.
We had a horse drawn fruit and vegetable cart working First Place and the rest of the neighborhood well into the 1960s. Big heavy guy by the name of Joe with a beautifuk,if old, brown horse. My mother and everybody else mobbed the cart. It saved a trip to Court Street. (Hey, it was a whole block away!). The difference, of course, is that Joe was NOT a hipster, so his produce did not have cooties.
Make that horse “beautifuL”.
I remember Joe. I WAS REALLY YOUNG, THOUGH.
I grew up on First Place. Attended Sacred Hearts. Go my pizza at Angelo’s
on Henry St. played Pinball at Louies and bought our bread at La Barbera on HENRY.
We moved to PA after I finished 7th grade in 1975. Cos, Chico, Tom I still remeber all those guys.
Ditti Sacred hearts. Class of 61. Angelos pizza was delicious!
I remember being very young and a guy would occasionally come into Bay Ridge with a horse drawn cart in the mid seventies and my grandparents used to buy from him. Only twice that I can recall. What a flashback.
Now he needs $50,000 to renovate the place, which will help to keep alive the video store… something that is very likely on some endangered list at this point. He seems to have some new ideas to revive the shop, noting, “I want to reinvent the video store experience and make it fun again.”
Are we sure this is not a parody?
Someone should tell him that Smith & Douglasws is not Cobble Hill, by teh way.
I lived on First Place too, from 1970-86.
By
Was walking down Franklin Street in Greenpoint this weekend. Saw a guy with a BEARD tattooed onto his neck!
Pipe cleaner physique – check
Sleeve tats – check
Ballcrusher pants – check
Thickrim glasses – check
Asian girlfriend – check
What’s with the compulsion to turn yourself into a freak and become a social misfit and eliminate yourself from the job market for the rest of your life?
It’s easy not needing to be on the job market when you’re a parentally supported cumstain spending a couple years in Nieuw Breukelen.
If they’re not that, they’re the guy in the link below. Someone sent me this and all I can say is, you got yourselves another hipster from Ohio. Notice in the beginning he says that Queens is his ‘old stomping grounds…’. See, he’s been there a few times and apparantly that makes him a native LOL
Good luck folks, you need it…
God, what a dick. What was the point of that? Was that some kind of hipster recruiting film?
And that walking pustule commuted back and forth to Occupy – figures. Unemployed homeless pile of lice.
Old Stomping Ground?
From when?
Way back in the day in 2009?
What an annoying transplant piece of shit.
“This is my old stomping ground – NYC.”
WTF? Has anyone from Astoria ever called New York “NYC”?
Please, please, can someone with a knife or a bat give this guy an “authentic urban experience?”
Best commencement speech ever:
http://www.theswellesleyreport.com/2012/06/wellesley-high-grads-told-youre-not-special/
You are not special. You are not exceptional.
Contrary to what your u9 soccer trophy suggests, your glowing seventh grade report card, despite every assurance of a certain corpulent purple dinosaur, that nice Mister Rogers and your batty Aunt Sylvia, no matter how often your maternal caped crusader has swooped in to save you… you’re nothing special.
Yes, you’ve been pampered, cosseted, doted upon, helmeted, bubble-wrapped. Yes, capable adults with other things to do have held you, kissed you, fed you, wiped your mouth, wiped your bottom, trained you, taught you, tutored you, coached you, listened to you, counseled you, encouraged you, consoled you and encouraged you again. You’ve been nudged, cajoled, wheedled and implored. You’ve been feted and fawned over and called sweetie pie. Yes, you have. And, certainly, we’ve been to your games, your plays, your recitals, your science fairs. Absolutely, smiles ignite when you walk into a room, and hundreds gasp with delight at your every tweet.
Read the whole thing.
This is amazing.
You see, if everyone is special, then no one is. If everyone gets a trophy, trophies become meaningless.
As a consequence, we cheapen worthy endeavors, and building a Guatemalan medical clinic becomes more about the application to Bowdoin than the well-being of Guatemalans.
The fulfilling life, the distinctive life, the relevant life, is an achievement, not something that will fall into your lap because you’re a nice person or mommy ordered it from the caterer.
Exercise free will and creative, independent thought not for the satisfactions they will bring you, but for the good they will do others, the rest of the 6.8 billion–and those who will follow them.
I get the feeling that English teacher David McCullough, Jr. has had a few run-ins with the hipsters of the world. This reads like a how-NOT-to for the “young” american stay-cationer.
Well done.
I totally agree with many of this guys viewpoints and advice for the vast majority of these helicoptered semi-adults. But I have to add that I’m damned glad that Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis did NOT go into engineering or law. But they also knew the rewards of damned hard work at their craft.
Most hipster ‘artists’ don’t want to put real sweat and long hours into their ‘art’. So, to me, it looks and sounds as lazy as it actually is.
No need to be an engineer or lawyer. This is the relevant bit:
I urge you to do whatever you do for no reason other than you love it and believe in its importance.
Basically, do whatever you want because you have a passion for it, not because it gives you an excuse to say “Look at meeeeee!!!!!”
Good point J!
You’ve *GOT* to read the whole thing. Inspiring!
The truth always is.
He’s just saying what a generation of parents and teachers failed to tell their kids.
I can blame parents for raising talentless attention leeches that become hipsters.
But once you’re 18 you’re a legal adult, and the hipsters must own it at that point.
Want to buy a hipster uniform? Here’s a great fashion guide! *GAG* I can’t look away, it’s like a bad accident on the highway. Scroll aaaall the way down…. The dude dressed like Pinocchio just gave me nightmares for the rest of my life….
http://trendmill.com/street-style/unlimited?filter%5Bgender%5D=men&page=1
My inner child wants to scream…
http://trendmill.com/street-style/8949-pinocchio-by-lukas?filter%5Bgender%5D=men
These are not men. I don’t know what species or gender they are, but they are NOT men.
Agreed!
Good Lord that’s horrific!!
trendmill has *got* to be a site catering to primarily gay men, given all the close up crotch shots…
http://trendmill.com/street-style/9173-c-in2-core-lo-no-show-army-trunk-white-at-international-jock-underwear-swimwear-by-peterjock?filter%5Bgender%5D=men
“Quaker Chic”… omg… I can’t…
http://trendmill.com/street-style/7573-quaker-chic-by-catherine?filter%5Bgender%5D=men
” I just like when people tap into the heartland Americana hustle and channel some cotton field worker into their daily wardrobe.”
The above comment to that picture says it all. The cynicism in it is palpable.
Except that every real (non-hipster) gay man I know is more interesting than these sub-humans.
Fuck that shit…
JAYSUS…reading the hipster beatdown made my morning..even more than my morning workout…but then THIS…will pouring bleach in my eyes remove those images? Do women actually find that “street style” even remotely attractive? Speaking as a woman..HELL TO THE NO..I just can’t..it’s so wrong on so many levels..WHY..WHYYYYYYY….
*pours bleach in retinas*
I just finished rinsing off the bleach out of my brain. ::shudders::
Me too, bleach helps…. that link hurt my brain.
So will real men be the minority? This is horrible! I have gay friends and they don’t dress or act like these assholes. Quaker look? Splattered blazer? How about soap and water AND A F**KING RAZOR!!!! Plus, I’m sorry, but if you can shave you shouldn’t still be on a skateboard there Caleb. What is wrong with being masculine? This is how the androgynous pasteurization starts. Trophies for all, everybody is the same so there aren’t any goals to achieve. No balls AT ALL, this is why they back down so fast, I can kick one of these walking sticks ass, no problem. A real Brooklyn guy, you better be ready to back up whatever you say with your fists because real Brooklyn guys don’t back down. Chicks too, so watch your mouth there Meghan. Please. please, let one of them start with me…please, let me get this out of my system. Sorry, they really piss me off.
Stevie is drying his tears in Special Edd’s consoling arms right now for not making the cut.
ROFL!!!
Jeez, that site is a World Series of douche. What exactly was that supposed to be? I feel like I’ve been to the end of the Internet.
..World Series of Douche….
You owe me a new keyboard, pal.
So many questions…
Why do most of those dudes look like chicks with beards?
Why are they posing knock-kneed and pigeon toed the same way the short fat dumpy cankled Zooeys do?
What happens when their playcation in North East Williamsburg/Billyburg/Shwick is over and they show up back at their parents’ cul de sac in Butt Crack Valley, Minnepennsylhiowa dressed like clowns from a circus(the extremely disturbing version of Pinocchio, guy with polka dot pants, the 6’5″ 120 lb. “guy” wearing the saggy-butt leather pants)?
Midwestern version of hipster beatdown !!
That website should forever put to rest the whole “you hate hipsters because you’re just jealous” bullshit. Doubt any non hipster on the planet would ever want to be seen in anything approaching these costumes.
Zoinks!! “Scooby Doo looking characters…”
I can totally see Thelma and Shaggy out there trying to track down Dr. Kickball Ghost. As usual, they are so stupid only a snack addicted dog can solve their problems and save their asses.
(totally off topic but….NPR just officially became useless: http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/08/showbiz/car-talk/index.html?hpt=hp_t2 – Click and Clack were the only reason I turned it on anymore…)
Found this today:
The guy’s outnumbered 50:1 and all they can do is chant? Most people I know would have pounded the guy with those numbers. What a bunch of wusses.
I still think we should have our own critical mass to annoy these a**holes. Patronize their retsaurants and watering holes. Hang out there for hours while making fun of them. Play “Journey” at full volume. Drive through their neighborhoods three across at 10 miles an hour.
Kill their chickens.
Oh and there’s more to come.
i would ran them over
a car ran over two of these hipster bikers bikes
Everytime I see this I laugh at those pussies!
I couldn’t tell – when they ran over his foot, did his head inflate?
That warms my heart, those bikes being run over. Poor people trying to go to work or shop, or pick up their kids, and these jackasses with nothing to do decide to stage a “demonstration”- for what exactly? Being able to ride bikes?
“dude those hipsters did not deserve that type of shit”
Ha ha. Even the slightly sympathetic acknowledge that the massholes are hipsters. Otherwise, anyone else pro masshole is just circle jerking.
The bald guy at the end telling them,”Bring it to my hood JUST ONCE, go ahead…” is probably talking about Oakland where, indeed, these self-centered assholes would get a proper beat down.
It’s insufferable that it takes a motorcycle cop blasting his horn to get the pansies to move. It’s not surprising that it takes twenty hipsters to take on one man probably coming from or going to WORK.
THe original poster of that video is looking for a circle-jerk. Those massholes were looking to provoke some kind of reaction and then quick to play the victim card by the “evil pro oil” crowd. Like how most of the recent comments are calling out the bullshit.
Just saw this commercial and felt compelled to share. This hipster fuck commands us to free ourselves of labels with a Beck’s beer in hand. http://youtu.be/j7Lje51Ntb0
Fastest Gentrifying neighborhoods…lots of Brooklyn
http://www.edexcellence.net/commentary/education-gadfly-daily/flypaper/2012/the-fastest-gentrifying-neighborhoods-in-the-united-states.html#.T9ZSVUZunss.facebook
Wow,
Just specked out one of the new MacBook Pros. With a processor upgrade and a warranty it it’s about $3,400 hundred before taxes. Thats like a hole nother rent check!
The mac addicts will just call daddy and whine about how their room mate burned them for rent, and can he make up the difference. Then, they’ll take it and get that new mac. If they don’t steal one from some party host first.
http://www.insidebayarea.com/ci_20835293/occupy-oakland-targeting-council-member?source=most_emailed
Occupy Oakland here on the West Coast boasts the largest Black Bloc contingent in the NorCal Bay Area. (The reason Oakland wanted to ban certain things at protests such as bottles of urine and spray paint.) Though the ordinance is a bit vaguely worded if something like a bucket of fried chicken or a yoga mat could also be considered contraband.
http://www.sfweekly.com/2012-05-09/news/occupy-movement-protests-may-day-anarchy-black-bloc/ Interviews with those in the black bloc of Occupy Oakland. Note how the girl Barucha Peller at the end of the article runs into a bar away from the cops when the actual shit goes down. (Whip up a crowd to run at the cops then run the other way.) Makes me wonder if she’s an actual anarchist/punk. (Do hipsters today try and dress full on punk?)
One less hipster – http://slo.craigslist.org/bik/3050996290.html
this blog could easily be shut down on grounds on incitement to violence.
i’d reconsider this section of the blog is i was you. it only takes a few complaints to wordpress and they’d pull the plug on you – same with blogger etc.
you can’t advocate killing people dude.
fuck it – i’ve already sent in the complaint.
you’re clearly in violation of wordpress’ terms and conditions.
http://en.wordpress.com/abuse/
to quote from wordpress
“We suspend blogs or blog posts for the following types of abuse:
Personal threats
Calls to violence
Impersonation of a private person”
looks like your days are numbered if you carry on this small minded thuggery.
are you as much of a pussy in real life as you’re coming off here? your daddy must be proud huh? hypersensitive much sweets?
‘inciting to violence’ has very specific legal terms and definitions, none of which you have supplied and none of which are fulfilled in this blog by anyone…maybe you should have availed yourself of further research so you don’t keep coming off like the nagging, spoiled brat with no life that you apparantly are…this site is more satire than anything, but the elements of truth clearly give you the willies…hey, you could do this…you could – gasp! – change the channel!!
awwwww, disappointed? are you gonna go have a good cry at someone who doesn’t care about what you have to say either? maybe you could call your mom and tell her all about the meanies on a website you frequently visit…i’m sure she’d be very proud of your intestinal fortitude and adult perspective…your accusations are about as worthwhile as if someone here decided you were stalking….you must be a real joy to be around pal…do you look for strangers in your spare time to check on the content of their conversations and work your attempts at squelching the idea of free speech?…and don’t tell us you support free speech, because you don’t…you only support it WHEN IT AGREES WITH AND APPROVES OF YOU….
hipster much?
i don’t approve of advocating violence.
the legal definition of incitement is irrelevant though. the important thing is that the blog is IN VIOLATION OF WORDPRESS’ TERMS AND CONDITIONS.
here they are again:
http://en.wordpress.com/abuse/
the blog owner can either delete the ‘beatdown’ entries or suffer the consequences.
because he will get shut down eventually.
and there’s no point in moving to blogger etc – the terms are exactly the same.
lets see what happens shall we?