Today, I saw Cord prancing around Greenpoint playing a ukulele dressed like Orville Redenbacher and weighing in at 112 Instagrams while another Polish business had to close shop thanks to these transient Midwestern hipster fucks. So the store owner tossed me the last kielbasa which I rammed through Cord’s eye socket. End of story.
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You would think these “Starving Artist Types” would be all over these Polish places. Hearty, cheap and good. You cant beat it. But no…these fucks are too good for these places. The butcher who’s making kielbasa for 20 years at a reasonable price? He’s no artistisan fuck him. Rot in Hell Hipster Dicks.
Check out Mast Brothers for chocolate sausage !!!
From their undies !!!
Thanks a lot, DH. Now Cord is going to walk around wearing an eye patch.
He won’t need it because I just ripped his head off.
If any asshole ever introduces himself as Cord to me, he automatically jumps to 2nd in line for a fuckin no questions asked smack right after Hummus gets his.
Re: Stupid names — That pic on the previous thread of the hipster ordering skinny jeans online — his name is Mykel. Seriously.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/arizona-doctor-fuming-barnes-noble-employee-kicks-children-section-article-1.1090354
Might be a bit off topic but I suspect a hipster was behind this idiotic action. Or maybe not – confronting a 73 year old man requires – well – ‘nads.
I guess Borders’ customers and employees are moving to Barnes and Noble now. That woman who complained: definitely a hipster (see my earlier post about self-help).
Hipster, yuppie…either way, it’s a suburban-raised shitbird who craps herself every time she sees anything that might scare her. In that case, that’s just about everything in the universe other than Rice Krispies Treats and Starbucks lattes.
I’m from Ohio and I can definitely understand why that state gets so much shit on this site.
Yes, it’s a hipster breeding ground.
Thanks for admitting that. I know the difference between you and them.
Hey, me too! But I don’t remember there being so many hipsters back in OH… I guess they don’t don their costumes and sneering visages until they have crossed the state line.
Another thing about Ohio is you can purchase a gun with any state license. Take the hint folks… its open season.
May I suggest purchasing .45acp hollowpoints in the nuts? Or a whole bunch of .22 on the bottom of their feet and make them walk on glass?
i love it, hahahahaha I hate them.. even ion Cony Island now, Wudda fuhhh?
i meant..What the fuck???
112 instagrams, that’s hilarious
112 somalians soaking wet
And in other news, Brooklyn made #2 in a list of the cities with the most spoiled children:
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/cities-where-kids-most-spoiled-201700290.html
Hmmm. Did this survey have an upper age limit on the children documented, and cut off the upper age at 45? Or did it just look at Matt Gross and his buddies and figure “Oh, fuck it. I give up.”?
It’s most likely those hipster and oprahlite parents that have the spoiled children. Can’t say no to a kid whining about ice cream so they want it banned. Then again the adults themselves whine and stomp until they get their way, courtesy of our douchebag mayor and like minded council members.
Had dinner last night in Park Slope, and we were walking around afterwards; it is no exaggeration that you will never, ever see more spoiled, coddled, protective bubble kids in your life than the ones being raised by the Park Slope transplants. Stopping twice on every block to peek into the stroller and exclaim how great little Caleb is, you look inside and it looks like a double wide fortress, with 100 blankets, a plastic screen, etc. These parents are never going to let these kids play in the street, run around with other kids, etc. They’d probably sue the school the 1st time little Harrison comes home with a scraped knee from fooling around at lunchtime. These are exactly the same idiots who come up with shit like the babyccino. The future really is doomed.
Hospitals must be handing out “Helicopter Parenting: Getting Started” now.
It’s the same mentality that says,”If I make the baby listen to Bach as it’s growing up, it will surely turn out a genius! I’ll also over-schedule ALL of their after-school free time!”
And here after the death of douchebag Jobs is another smug hipster asshole from Apple:
http://www.engadget.com/2012/03/13/apples-sir-jonathan-ive-our-competitors-have-completely-the-w/
I guess it goes hand it hand with the spoiled hipster brats living in Brooklyn or Portland.
OK, so Jonathan the shitbird “…has been made a Knight Commander of the British Empire” – goes he get to wear a funny hat? And can he grow his hair back now? Hell with it – let’s all go jousting.
Does he
Dammit Zoe, hurry up with that coffee!
Why grow it back? He can sport the Steve Jobs look and act like a pretentious prick along with his followers.
And the really sad part is, it’s not necessarily design that’s gonna screw Apple. They have brilliant technology, but they live in a vacuum which breeds arrogance. No..marketing is gonna screw these guys over because they’re selling to a small population who favors looks over substance and are ignoring the majority of folks who simply want a product that’s easy to buy, easy to use and cost effective…essentially the people who don’t give a f**k what others think of their phone
My sister is vehemently anti-PC. No clear reasons other than hipster tendencies and an unwillingness to try a PC. She a quirky and creative type who has to be unique – which means she’s like every other hipster.
Over Christmas I stepped into an Apple store to pick up a case for my son’s i-Pod (at 20 bucks which was the cheapest they had). The place was packed with smarmy hipsters hanging out and normal people who just couldn’t figure out how to use their product (which brings me to another annoying Apple quirk – why the f**ck is the serial number on an I-pod printed so small that it’s barely legible – even with a magnifying glass?).
I got major attitude from Joshie when i balked at the price of the i-Pod cases. I left – and this was after waiting 20 minutes to while for beardos stood in a corner and yakked).
Now…walk into Best Buy. Go into the PC area and people ask 2 or 3 basic questions and off they go with their computers. Look over at the Apple section and there’s no shortage of hand holding, hand wringing and frustration.
Finally – you can build your own PC.
Other manufacturers make affordable items or reasonable or even better quality but leave it to smug Apple and their dipshit followers (not all apple users mind you) to look down on such a practice. I guess because I don’t like buying a fragile piece of shit iphone means I’m a poor bastard…
I owned a 2008 MacBook and it failed in less than two years. I have a 2007 IBM Thinkpad that’s been with me for 4+ years now and still kicking and has better performance than the newer MacBook.
Sorry, that should have been ‘of’ reasonable or even better quality.
I was watching Cult of Mac on CNBC and holy shit did my BP rise up from seeing all those smug douchebags and cankle queens.
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/12
Reminds me of this old “Penny Arcade” comic about Apple Stores. (“Whoa, whoa. These guys aren’t hip enough to be in here.”)
OK kids, it’s time to head over to the Brooklyn Paper and abuse hipster kickball players. Got the first comment in. Lets get some posts up there so they can’t send the link to their heroics back to Ohio: http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/35/23/sp_kickballweek5_2012_06_08_bk.html
Seriously? The teams are called “Mathletes” and “Frontiersmen”? Sounds about right. At least these clowns can laugh at themselves.
OK, this *HAS* to be a joke. LMAO…
Done.
I don’t speak to creative writing majors ver often but when I do it’s to tell them to hurry the fuck up with my coffee I have things to do like make a positive contribution to society like yah!
Reminds me of the Bar scene with Joe Pesci in Goodfellas:
“Now go get your f**cking shine box”.
Ten years ago, the most common phrase you heard from creative writing majors was “Do you have a Borders card?” Now, it’s “Business, mister?”
http://gothamist.com/2012/06/04/is_this_the_most_annoying_improv_ev.php
Is it strange that they picked Staten island for this prank? Wonder why they did do this in majestic, bucolic Billyburg at 2AM in the morning (or 11AM) when folks are still sleeping?
Or this one had the fucking nerve to call people in the library douchebags for not looking at the improv everywhere assholes.
http://thegreg.tumblr.com/post/610461859/popculturebrain-improv-everywhere
I don’t care if I get arrested, if I encounter any of these assholes annoying the shit out of me while I’m busy I’m gonna beat the mother loving shit out of them. End of.
I’d like to find out if ghosts have nuts. Perhaps a well=placed book corner as the jerkoff runs by…
Is the following statement meant to be sarcastic?
I love the douchebags who don’t even look up from their books. Because whatever you’re studying is so goddamn important that it can’t wait 5 fucking minutes while you watch the Ghostbusters clean house.
Also: Special Edd’s page on Hipsterpiece Theater. Somebody call the waaaambulance.
http://diediehipster.wordpress.com/2010/08/23/dh-sabotage-of-improv-everywhere-is-great-and-stupid/
They ALL need serious beatings.
I saw the first installments of “Step Up” and surprisingly – I enjoyed them. The plots are predictable and a bit lame but the dancing is outstanding.
So we come to the latest in the series. Protesting evil developers by bringing traffic to a halt and disrupting the lives of working folks. Yeah. if you decide to have a flash mob at a busy NYC intersection while I’m following an ambulance holding a loved one, I will beat your a**es with a tire iron.
Cord??!!??? Cord is actually a NAME?
http://www.torontolife.com/daily/daily-dish/opening-daily-dish/2012/05/28/introducing-leslieville-pumps/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=introducing-leslieville-pumps
It’s a gas station…and….a general store/BBQ joint. How delightfully whimsical!!! So sick and bloody tired of this old timey crap.
In other news – Key Food at Prospect & 11th Avenue is going to close and be replaced by… a Walgreens. Yes, in a neighborhood with no supermarkets and two local, family-owned pharmacies (Oak Park & Ballard’s). I guess you can kiss them goodbye. And the old folks who were able to walk to the supermarket? Fuck ‘em. Windsor Terrace is for trustafarians now. We saw the writing on the wall when our street (10th Avenue) was infested with Fresh Direct trucks. Because, yah know, they’re too busy to go grocery shopping! Getting priced out was a blessing in disguise.
How in God’s name anyone could stand to go grocery shopping through their computer
is completely beyond me.
They’re so addicted to their toys they can’t put them down for one minute.
so true. i cant believe that Hey Food is going…unreal. im so glad i live in Dyker Heights(Bensonhurst border).We still have 2 Key Foods, C-town, PAthmark. Scaturro, and Waldbaums – thank God. These people are going too far.
correction: Key Food…I hate the fact that those people are so lazy, they cant even get off the couch to go food shopping..I actually like the mini road trip, ha ha
The reason why I don’t like using the computer while shopping because you don’t know why you might be paying for. Its just an image, I’d rather walk into a super market shop for what I need and see if there is anything else I might need. These Yuppies and hipsters need to leave I can’t stand them.
Too bad they don’t have physically disabled as an excuse. They’re hungover and lazy.
BTW, i don’t think any metropolis anywhere has seen the worst of it yet. Only about 1 in 6 college graduates are finding full-time work now ( that pays ). It’s mostly true of <30's, but if you count in all the displaced mid-aged workers ( and there's a lot! ) and the fact that a majority of retirees are having to return to work because the SS they paid into just isn't cutting it every month ( factor in always escalating health care costs )…
…my point is, all the way across the board this is bad and I personally think there's a serious SHTF scenario we've kind of been experiencing in the West ( uk, canada, us ) but not near what is coming.
The kids that were even able to GO to college need to stfu because they have a ton of peers who simply cannot go. Either way, both groups need to hang on to their hats because this global economy has a ripple affect. Compared to some countries, sure, we can brace to the point of slowing down the impacts, but not erase and not necessarily improve in anything other than a ten year period.
When people feel like they aren't the Midas generation who will have stable, secure work for x_amountofyears, a general malaise and despair taking hold for too long are things to guard against.
Either the playing is a signal they've given up or they're burying their heads in the sand. What they have to realize is that their parents survival may depend on wether they can get their own shit together enough NOT TO BE A BURDEN to them, even if that means their life is average and primarily about getting by. I don't blame people for being mad about that, but there are things about being alive that are just simply beyond ones control. Head in the bottle or head in the sand doesn't change that.
Keep an on eye on those suicide stats the next few years…
To blabber just a bit further…there's a new strain of gonorrehea that is drug resistant and spreading worldwide. Do iPhones get STD's?
DH always credits the beautiful Midwest,my home,my haven as being responsible for all the NY hipster invaders,its true a lot do come from and go ridance to them but let me make this very clear the south specifically north Carolina is exporting those goons your way daily.give credit were its due,or the lack there of to the dirty racist,scarred of everything southern hipster.you will know them by the missing the and the attempted disguising of their regional accent.
Missing teeth that is.Damn now I seem as illiterate as they.shoot.(them).
So let’s see…
the beautiful midwest is your home, but you’re concerned about the hipsters coming from ‘the south’…oh, and specifically North Carolina….
hmmm….any particular reason why NC is so, um, on your radar? lol ….don’t be too surprised if hipsters from the south are as racist as some of the natives in the beautiful midwest or northern areas are…white suburbanites fearful of non-whites…that’s not new…the reverse white flight INTO the city instead of the monocolor suburbs of their childhoods, is…
are they invading the midwest or…? see, you’re not being very specific about what’s disturbing you….
funny thing about the midwest…ohio, indiana, buttnutville…they seem to be producing an over-arching number of tryhards…