Stay out of Coney Island you hipster fucks! Cyclones host Williamsburg Night.

I’m a bit disappointed with the Brooklyn Cyclones organization. They are going to make a “Williamsburg Night” on Thursday, July 5th to attract the bearded, skinny jean wearing crowd. As much as I dread seeing even one hipster in Coney Island, I must say even the people who run the Cyclones are betting on a bunch of fully grown adult toddlers from Wiscofornia to show up in ball crushing, filthy, sweaty tight jeans and beards in the middle of the summer. What normal person wears such uncomfortable clothes in 80-90 degree weather? It’s all about the “look at me” factor. It always is. If they aren’t wearing their fucking hipster uniforms they feel like they are just pieces of garbage floating endlessly into space – no purpose on Earth. Once they are in uniform they start feeling the eyes on them; it feels good – even if those eyes are saying “you stupid fuck – how can you wear a ski hat and 13 year old girls jeans in this weather?”

I guess this is just simply another case of “marketing to the hipster” –  so can you really blame anyone who does it? I mean, it’s so fucking easy; you’re dealing with people who have practically unlimited amounts of leisure time and cash. My only problem with this is that they are coming down and being exposed to Coney Island and normal Brooklyn which will give these ‘urban pioneers’ ideas to ‘help‘ us and bring ‘culture‘. On the bright side, what’s one thing that is plentiful in a baseball stadium? BATS! Hopefully this is just a trick to get a few hundred of them to show up and once they do the staff locks the gates, hands out bats to the normal Brooklynites and we get to pound on these bearded scumbags.

If you show up with a beard you get prizes and if you are wearing effeminate tight jeans you are allowed to run the bases after the game. There will even be genuine Williamsburg Music and Art! Wow Wow WOWWW! After all though, these interloping sheep might not even show up when they find out this isn’t kickball.

Link - Flyer http://brooklyncyclones.com.ismmedia.com/ISM3/std-content/repos/Top/PDFs/Williamburg%20Night.pdf

Link: Hipsterist – Cyclones to host Williamsburg Night.

Link: Broklyn (but not really) – Brooklyn Cyclones lure beardos to a game.

60 thoughts on “Stay out of Coney Island you hipster fucks! Cyclones host Williamsburg Night.

  1. Sounds wack as fuck.

  2. ahhhhh shit…I will skip happy hour that day and test my potato gun

  3. Oh hell fucking no!!!

    Bad enough on my way to work this morning I decided to take the N train (instead of my usual F now) and the Avenue U stations AND the 18th Ave stations freaking hipsters got on! But now this shit? For Coney Island to give in (which we all know is still very much ghetto) is just sad. It’s the let’s cater to the outsiders so we can pray all this money we’ve blown trying to build up Coney Island doesn’t go to waste factor.

    On the subject of tight jeans, reports released recently show they have health risks, so why people would continue to wear them is beyond me. If a guy is wearing tighter jeans than me, he can go fuck himself. Want proof? Here the Daily News even called out hipsters when writing the article:
    http://articles.nydailynews.com/2012-05-23/news/31829567_1_skinny-jeans-skinny-jeans-nerve-damage

    P.S. Hope to be back now, been crazy here with a new job and new apartment and being on the prowl.

    • Hipsters getting on the N at 18th Ave is one of the saddest, most depressing images I can imagine. I’ve seen a few heading for the 20th Ave. N after dicking around inside 7-11 – not sure why, but hipsters love 7-11; maybe because it reminds them of the cul-de-sac in Ohio.

      I really pray that the alcohol flows at the Cyclones game, and one of these snarky, bearded pipe cleaners makes a smartass comment to the wrong guy.

  4. time to unleash some of that Miami “super LSD” in Williamsburg

    • ROTFL. Zombie hipsters eating each other alive, literally! This is a fantastic idea. Anyone have a connection in Miami? lol j/k

  5. Maybe they’re gonna do like the movie Sea of Love…lure the hipster scumbags to Citifield and then machine gun them…just sayin!

  6. Hipsterminator is threatening my dad’s life on my blog in the comments section:
    http://diediehipster.wordpress.com/2012/05/29/identity-of-ripshop-revealed-can-you-believe-it-4/

    Great – it’s gotten to this point – where one of the blog posters is directly threatening a real person’s own life.

    I give diehipster.com about two, three days before its shutdown.
    I am contacting the police tomorrow a.m. and they will subpena the rights to the blog and the list of all the posters and diehipster’s gmail account and find hipsternminator’s email address and all the other info they need.

    Great job, Hipsternminator. You ruined the party.

    • No offense, but if you took what he said and read it correctly, he was not threatening your father, and any attempt to get anything done by the police on this will be fruitless. Everything he was saying was in jest, and if you really took him seriously, you need to check your sanity, just saying.

      Oh and for the record, I was born and raised here.

    • Awwwww…..did someone get their widdle feelings hurt? Would someone like a Rice Krispie treat and some Sunny D while you tell the nice policemen all about those bad people who made fun of you?

    • What the hell is this? Right. So instead of working a real job you have to come here and harass the hardworking souls here. Why don’t you stay on your own site, twerp? Why don’t you go use your food stamps at Whole Foods or something.

    • Edd you fucking idiot,

      That ain’t me posting on your mentally retarded site.

      First of all, I would never give you the opportunity to trace my IP or anything else about me. I am extremely careful to protect my identity on here and I think I’ve succeeded pretty well up to now.

      Second of all, that person is using multiple email addresses and can’t spell ‘Hipsterminator’ properly. I have been using the same identity on this site since the beginning. I have no reason to change it.

      Third, nothing I’ve put on this site ever threatened your father or anyone else in your life (I probably should for not forcing your mom/his sister to get an abortion). Butthurt is protected by the First Amendment. I keep calling you a mentally retarded idiot which is what you are. I still stand by that. It’s my right just like it’s your right to post anything you like about me.

      So grow the fuck up (I know, it’s not something hipsters do) and get a life. That person posting as me is probably the next generation of Stevie’s sock puppet army. If you call law enforcement on him, the clues will lead you to a Chinese transsexual vampire’s lair (aka his/her Ikea closet) in Toronto. That would be the funniest police bust ever.

      Maybe he’ll share his estrogen with you.

      • Another thing: I should be calling the police on you for making false accusations about me threatening your father. Be careful what you say. I do know where you live (since you’re back with mom and dad in CT almost 2 years now). Also, if I was going to threaten your father, it wouldn’t be a slice of pizza and a knish. Actually, I have no reason to threaten your father. I have reason now to threaten you with a lawsuit so be careful what you say on here from now on.

        Look at the comments on that autistic site of yours. Except for Stevie’s sock puppets, ALL of them are calling you out for the moron you really are. You probably think you’re the Cecil B. DeMille of hipsters because your mom told you but everyone else thinks your’e an asshole.

        On the subject of hipster hate, why wouldn’t we hate hipsters. I’ve watched most of my friends driven out of Manhattan to Brooklyn or Queens in the 90s because of high rents. Now, those same people are being driven even further out be even higher rents and for what? Because some lameass suburbanites decided to drain their parents’ retirement funds so they can “find themselves” and “discover their creativity” or some bullshit. They totally fuck up so many people’s lives beyond return and for what? I know people who ended up homeless so hummus van buttcrack can live in a $2,000 room (which was overpriced at $600) while he makes penis sculptures and blogs at Verb Cafe with his latest MacBook. They have no art worth looking at (and don’t give me the “What is Art” bullshit – anyone who spouts that lie deserves to die painfully), no music worth listening to (Freelance Whales are not music), they dress like shit, don’t wash, have no skills or strength and have only contributed high rents and bedbugs.
        They are not a race or a sexual orientation. They are upper/middle class mostly white kids (if you call someone in their mid-40s a kid), born into privilege, who don’t work, who don’t contribute anything financially and who can’t even support themselves. Yet the rest of us have to suffer their nauseous music at 3am on a weekday when we have to go to work in a few hours. Did I also mention they are racists who can’t stand black people living within 100 miles of them?
        I have watched my share of neighborhoods change, people move in, people move out, prices go up but never anything this extreme. Every group that moved to America has brought some unique culture with it. They all struggle to raise kids and build business that will last a few generations. Yet I have never in my entire life seen anything this extreme. What do hipsters do? Play, play fucking play! Never build any worthwhile business, live on daddy’s dime and fucking play.

        Do you understand now why we want to kill them so much? I really wish guns were legal in NYC. I really do.

      • I wonder who else we know that has a gimmick of never spelling “Hipsterminator” correctly?

        • “Bravo Hipsteriminator – your IP address is actually from New York City!! You are really living there!!” -diediehipster aka Special Ed

          • To OP , take my post off your website. I am not in support of rats for no reason or police for no reason. I am serious, if you’re trying to drag police into these petty things, thats petty, and pussy; weak and I don’t support it. I dont need some pig to stand up for me ever, and would never ask of it. I would never try and limit peoples behavior(especially such a fun group of gorillas)and it is creepy and weak to even think of using police for something like that. Someone fake hypothetically goes after your father, Fuck em, you back down because of that, and become a creep. Not my kind of crowd man. Grow some balls. IT IS A JOKE. FUCK THE POLICE.

          • Edd,

            BWAAA HA HA HA HA HAA HAA HAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

            Now Stevie’s telling you to grow some balls….. ROTFLMAO!!! I can’t imagine anything lower than that. If that’s not a message to give up your childish bullshit, I don’t know what is.

            Imagine: Stevie telling someone to grow some balls (this’ll take a while to really sink in). The End Times have come. An Asian transsexual vampire telling someone to grow some balls. I am truly speechless.

            Then again, he knows I have both of your home addresses and you’re threatening something illegal so that means even he’s scared.

            Revenge shall be mine… MUHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

          • You’re so boring man. Can’t take a joke.

          • Just like the hipster kid.

          • Rats for any reason. This is where I agree with the guy who was talking about hippies and hipsters becoming the new Nazis. Not only do we have yet to see the final outcome of this so called progressivism, but I predict the chains around all of our necks will be much tighter the deeper it gets, just like what is happening to people in gentrified neighborhoods, but litigiously and ideologically and on an international level.. No chance at a human experience. Just the same petty fear based reality and slick environments, and reactionary authority wishes. What other site could I have as much fun as an angry schizophrenic rich man yelling at peoples mediocrities in stream-of-consciousness equal-opportunity insult speak(Lenny Bruce’s rule). How can you respect yourself as a man,a person and try and bring police to a website to stop people from discussing and saying shit. Censorship? Fear? Stupidity? This where hipsters and yuppies really fail, is in being real Human Beings. All the fucked up shit I write, and for the most part people reactions were normal call me insane, molested etc.. They didn’t threaten to try an call police on me. Real human beings; with some I dont give a fuck, Something much more common in the working class, despite some of the accompanying automatic fear based realities. What the fuck kind of sad spoiled thinking is that though; “Arrest Him!” Slimey. Snakey. No good. I was misquoted as well, the rape wolf cunt part is missing. I am not on moral high ground. You are not. The rest are not. To pretend to be on a moral high ground, anyone, is insane. Curtis Mayfield once said ” If there is a Hell Below we are all going.” and OP you missed my stupid point, and proved to be just as much a grey hypocrite as everyone else and myself. Again please remove what I wrote, as I am not in support of any of that nonsense and fear and control wishes you have brought up, and are at least temporarily representative of. FUCK CONTROL.

          • OK Stevie, what were you arrested for?

          • Jaywalking, most likely.

    • Eddie, you’re totally full of bullshit. There’s no way you could twist that comment into anything resembling a threat so it is not aggravated harassment. No law enforcement agency is going to take that nonsense seriously or cater to your fanboy obsession with discovering DH’s or anyone elses identity. And really, that’s what this is all about isn’t it?

      Do you have any idea what a pathetic, butthurt loser you look like with that sad sockpuppet show called “diediehipster”?

      Face it, Eddie, you and Stevie are nothing but a couple of two-bit internet stalkers with mental problems comming out of your assholes.

    • Dude, you are AT LEAST as delusional as Stevie is. Seriously. Get help. And stop trying to use this site to get traffic to your own. It’s blatantly OBVIOUS that there’s an entire YEARs gap between your posts and you only start the cack when you come here baiting everyone. Diehipster gets more traffic than your blog based on Diehipster and that ticks you off.

      Did they call you Stick as a kid, because you sure like to try to stir stuff up.

      • I suspect that he used to be called “Spaz”, until everyone in his high school realized he took that as a badge of honor.

    • Well, after all, you did just re-open the blog in support of a guy who made threats on here to rape someone’s wife.

    • Butthurt Hipster XIII: The Squeakuel

    • PC is soft fascism.

    • Edd, I’d go to your site to see what the fuss you’re making is all about, but I won’t give you the satisfaction of another hit. Go submit your URL to a botherd to get some free hits. Or even better, go hit on Anonymous – I guarantee that will get you 20k hits in a few seconds once the weapon warms up.

      Just go away and grow up. I hear your mom calling.

      • That’s one of the only two reasons why he keeps taking a dump over here. The other is so he can track IP addresses, probably in the hopes of regaining his reputation in high school as the class tattle-tale. I could see him going after anybody here who reads the site at lunch at work: “Did you know that your employee spends his time on A HATE SITE?”

        The reality is that Edd and Stevie both keep poking the bear, because they can’t handle being ignored. Remember that Edd started the shit-rain when he wanted DH to hype up his Mast Brothers video, and then got pissy when he didn’t get the response he expected. He’s already contacted me for an interview for his planned “Die Die Hipster: The Movie” magnum opus, and he probably dropped that plan when nobody else would play, either. If Special Edd had even the slightest smidgen of creativity, he’d focus on making a movie that would force us to take him seriously. Instead, he’s going to spend his time whimpering and whining about the horrible specter of hipster hate…and then dumping gasoline on the fire at every available opportunity. He screams about imagined threats against him and his family because secretly that’s what he’s craving: to be so important that someone stomps him, so he can get more attention for being the subject of a “hate attack”. What he really fears, though, is dying alone and forgotten, and he’s doing a pretty good job of making damn sure that this happens.

    • Uh HUH. And what will you do after the police finish laughing hysterically and tell you to get the fuck out before they arrest you for making a false statement? Try to hit DH with a SLAPP suit? (Actually, that would be par for the course for you. Since your idea of a debate is to cry like a four-year-old, I can see you hitting Daddy up for more money in the hopes that DH goes broke defending a frivolous lawsuit. You sure you want to open that can of worms, little boy?)

      • Well, if I was to sue him, he could probably get out by pleading insanity. Of course, then everyone would know he’s a total jackass… Oh wait, they know that already.

  7. Every sunny day in the summer on Beach 91st street in Rockaway is Williamsburg day/night.

    Its repulsive to see these bastard transplants from now living in northwest brooklyn come out to Queens and use the beach for their look at me adventure.

  8. This is a serious disappointment. Why Williamsburg night? Hipsters don’t even like sports. What pisses me off the most is The Cyclones are indirectly supporting/contributing to gentrification. They never had a Fort Greene night or a Washington Heights night.

    • OMG thats exactly what I said! Hipsters dont like sports!! They’re too “creative” to break a nail or anything else – and thats just the males. What games can you play in skinny jeans and Chuck Taylors anyway? BEsides think of how sweaty they would get wearing their wooly hats in the middle of August. Bastards.

      As for the CYcleones – WHy is there no Bensonhurst night? or Sheepshead Bay night? THis is discrimination against REAL Brooklynites!! Its almost as if they’re thumbing thier nose at those of us with the name of a Brooklyn hospital on our birth certificates.

  9. Aww damn. Well I guess it was only a matter of timebefore they tainted baseball.
    But I’m not sure how this marketing ploy will pan out. First of all hipsters don’t really respond well
    to advertising that so blatantly targets them (a hipster will never admit to being a hipster).

    My real hope is that these ironic f**cks attend the game and come to the realization that the cop
    who did nothing while getting taunted by OWS sh*theels will not practice the same restraint as people who took a day
    of vacation and dropped a lot of their hard earned cash to treat their family to a ballgame and all the accoutrements.
    If Caleb and Meghan think baseball fans will put up with their antics they have another thing coming. Hopefully a couple of well publicized beatdowns will
    nip this trend in the bud.

    I own a photo book that deals with street games. I was looking through it the other night. I was struck by the happiness displayed in the photos. Actually I would go as far as to call it joy.
    Street games were borne out of poverty. Half-ball, stickballs, skelzies, fistball, Hot Peas and Butter, Kick the can – all these games made use of cheap or found objects. When we played there was no planning. Somehow we agreed on a game and the rules and played. End of story.

    Hipsters will start to co-opt these games (well hot peas and Butter will probably be played with a feather boa instead of a belt. But I really wouldn’t mind adults participating in street games
    If said adults were walking home from their jobs, loosened their ties and asked if they could take a few swings. This is what adults did.

    What drives me nuts is the hipster trend of getting the most childish and un-athletic sports/games and organizing them to the point that they make the NBA look like the Lil’ Rascals clubhouse.
    These games were not meant to be organized. We never got our picture in the paper for playing f*cking Skee-ball.

    But this doesn’t surprise me. They are a group that’s bereft of any sort of skills, athleticism and maturity. When growing up the only people you saw walking the streets during the day were mothers, old people, small children and delivery guys. OK and the guys at the “Social club” on president Street.

    On the subject of skill: On Saturdays I was always dragged to the hardware store or lumber yard by my father or uncle. The places were packed. For a group of people who couldn;’t speak a word of English they managed to gut apartment buildings and properly restore them. What I don’t remember is any of these businesses doing the Home Depot thing where they
    hold seminars on how to hold a g*ddamn hammer and nail.

    But I try to be an optimist. This past weekend I saw Cankle Meghan and Beardo Josh (yup..they had scarves) contemplating a nail gun.

    Maybe there is hope.

  10. I (45 yrs old) was in Coney Island 2 weeks ago with wife and kids (All Born and raised in Brooklyn) and I was wearing my “Brooklyn” Tshirt. A Tshirt I earned the right to wear, a Tshirt Im proud to wear! Than I start to notice all the fucking “NOT FROM BROOKLYN”, assholes wearing “Brooklyn Tshirts”. I go into Rubys, see some old faces I know, shake a few hands, have a cold one out on the tables with wifem kids have soda and Im actually ashamed to wear my Brooklyn Tshirt. Rubys is packed with the “NOT FROM BROOKLYN” crowd wearing Brooklyn Ts. Why cant they wear Tshirts that say “Im from the middle of fucking nowhere just like all my friends next to me, I have no style or manners and Im claiming Brooklyn even though Im Im here only 5 months and leaving for another hipster hot spot in a year” When I first went to Rubys decades ago it was filled with older gang members like the Savage Skulls, Crazy Homicides, Zulus, run of the mill crazy folks,some old Italian wiseguys from the west end of Coney Island and regular Brooklyn people. Now I cant wear my Brooklyn T because these Jerkoffs played it out!!!!!!

    • Wear it anyway. They’ll peel off of the irony of it in a few months and you’ll be just who you were: loyal and proud.

      They don’t appreciate those traits.
      At all.

  11. Next up, Janette Sadik -Khan Night. Free admission for fixies and unicycles.

  12. Pingback: Batter Up! Hipsters To Invade Coney Island Ballpark | Sheepshead Bay News Blog

  13. There will be massive butthurt when the hipsters realize that they don’t serve PBR at Cyclones games. I suppose they’ll have to substitute the sausage race with locally-sourced foodstuffs during the 7th inning stretch.
    BTW, we were at Ruby’s last Sunday and the crowd looked pretty normal – all shapes, sizes and colors. The jukebox was blaring salsa music, which as far as I know is anathema to hipsters.

  14. is this event a joke? how could this be happening? how could anyone REWARD beardos for showing up? my only hope is that it is an insane prank and that once the stadium is filled with beardos and meagans, they will commit hipster genocide en masse

    • Maybe their concessions will order PBR, Mast Brothers Chocolate, and other hipster refreshments and put the customary ballpark markup on them….

  15. My comment on the Cyclones facebook page:
    Why in the world are you encouraging hipsters to ruin Coney Island? “Williamsburg Night”?? Are you serious? Geez. Since when did a part of Brooklyn become an event?

  16. Do you guys get out to Coney Much? It’s been a hipster dumping ground for years. The Mermaid Parade – hipsters. The Burlesque Shows – hipsters. The rock n roll bands at Cha Chas- hipsters, The beach – hipsters. The Siren Music Festival before it moved to the Seaport – hispters. This is not exactly breaking new ground but it is ridiculous to make a night for it catering to mainly white trust fund brats who have helped destroy this city.

    • Mermaid is before the year of the Hipster,and the Burlesque crap in brighton is a russian thing,they been doing burlesque for free at all the russian restaurant’s for years.I never saw a hipster on the beach in 35 years going…Sheepshead does not have hipsters,for some reason The Cyclones are trying to change that.There a bunch of dickfaces anyway,they used to celebrate each game at the bar I drink at,they come in thinking they are Arod,bullying everyone around,refusing to pay for drinks,telling girls YOU NO WHO I AM?.Yea your a grown man playing ball for $10k a year..anyways there not allowed in the bar anymore

    • I hang out at Coney frequently precisely to serve notice to the hipsters that they can’t take over. Ruby’s still has a good crew of regulars. If you go to the beach west of the fishing pier, away from all the rides & food, you’ll find normal people. Don’t give up on Coney!

      • Was there all morning before work. Nary a hipster in sight. The few I did see were so scared out if their wits between the kids coming from Dewey and class trips in the amusement area that you could smell the fear a block away. I do have to say i’m not too thrilled with the limited choices that are now available on what’s left of the “boardwalk”. I could write a book on that subject. If I go tomorrow for a while I’ll be where the rest of south Brooklyn goes just in case the weekend warrior hipsters show . Nothing where I’ll be for them to “explore”

        • I truly, truly HATE when people spout this exploration or urban adventure bullshit.

  17. Pingback: Batter Up! Hipsters To Invade Coney Island Ballpark — 1st Moving Company

  18. After I had posted to the Brooklyn Cyclones Facebook page, they deleted my comment where I had said “they care about Brooklyn and baseball as much as they care about their own hygiene”…. Pathetic.

  19. I am reading the comments on other sites about this and the Hipsters think that the Cyclones a re a band.There like YAA I HEARD OF THEM THEY HAVE A COOL SOUND.and someone answers THERE MUSIC IS LIKE TO MAINSTREAM BUT ITS COOL THEY NAMED THE STADIUM AFTER THEM.

    • ROFLMAO the nimrods are probably confusing the team with the band called the cyclone rangers ( if they even know who *they* are, which i seriously doubt )

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