Today, as all the normal working Brooklynites were heading to work I saw Colby the bearded, stretched earlobe, 1908 paperboy hat-wearing, Gowanus Canal tour guide enjoying a cage-free Bushwick hard-boiled egg; a locally peeled orange, and a hand-crafted bottle of artisanal water for breakfast on his gentrification stoop. So I decapitated him by flinging a sewer cap like a frisbee right into his Sharpie Marker neck. End of story.
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