Today, as I was clipping the brake lines on all the 84,789 illegally chained bicycles in North Brooklyn I ran into Logan and Jeb – two 33 year old emaciated beardos from Kalamazoo – who were having a paper airplane race in front of their $2300 a month studio as they waited for the mailman to deliver their monthly gentrification allowance from Daddy. So, I hosed them down with lighter fluid and rubbed their twig limbs together which caused a spark which ignited those two pieces of fucking shit into flames who burned happily ever after. End of story.
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