Once again, someone was nice enough to snap a few shots of hipsters in action in Nieuw Northe Breukelen and send them in to me.
First we see Chloe and Zoey; cousins and recent arrivals to Nieuw Breukelen by way of New Hampshire. Together they manage to survive in one of the most expensive parts of America by running a unique, zany, quirky 55 sq ft vintage boutique lodged between a poultry slaughter house and oil truck garage in Lower North West Bushwick and by freelance tight rope walking FOR ALLLLLLLLLLLLL TO SEE! Just look at all the enthusiastic aging Polish people in the background happy to know their rents are increasing thanks to this pseudo circus act.
Next we see Colby, Zane and Jeb. Best buddies from a cul-de-sac in Ohio who have culture spewing from their pores and want to share it with and enlighten us Neanderthal Brooklynites. As you can see, the trio has just finished having an $18.00 Chinese Panda shit infused spot of tea filtered through local Bushwick Bambu (rolling paper, not the wood) at Stephonica’s Sip “n” Sew Tea and Crafts Lounge and have decided to play the time-honored traditional Brooklyn game of Croquet in McCarren Park. These pictures were taken just moments a couple of real 11 year old Brooklyn kids came over and beat the fuck out of them with stick ball bats.
Now I really get what you mean.
For years, I live near Washington Square Park in the Village, a place known for bohos and full of NYU kids about the same age. You expect quirky things.
But, never, ever have I ever seen anyone playing these pretentious games and ‘look-at-me” activities. Never.
Frisbee: yes. Throwing a football: yes. Music, acrobatics, comedy acts: yes.
I even saw an old sport revived: rat baiting – some guy at night was lifting the garbage cans and letting his dog grab and kill the rats who were underneath. (He wasn’t a hipster, naturally.)
But only the phony hipsters in McCarren Park would ever pull this shit.
Again, now I really get what you mean.
Btw, I have a spare stickball bat the 11 year-olds can borrow, in case they break theirs over the kneecaps of those fucking losers.
“old sport revived: rat baiting – some guy at night was lifting the garbage cans and letting his dog grab and kill the rats who were underneath. ”
Damn – I love it!
I love the vapid look on that tanned Meghan’s dumb face. Priceless, especially when comparing it to the pure joy on the faces of the kids from the Brooklyn/Not Brooklyn post.
What’s with the tightrope thing, all of 2 feet off the ground? They do that in the park near my place in hipster spawning ground, Michigan. I think the state police are going to make that part of the sobriety test.
Enough already……..WTF is with doing that shit out in the park in front of everyone? Why must everything be zany and quarky? WHY. That tightrope bitch looks like a fool. Pseudo makeshift circus for real. My man in the wheelchair has the right idea…TURN YOUR BACK ON THE CLOWNS.
The jerkoffs march on….
Wait tills she falls off the tightrope, falls 2 whole feet to the ground, breaks both her ankles and sues the city for trauma.
Remember back in the good old days? When 38 meant being married with teenage kids already. She looks like one of those monsters from Girls.
Now 38 means still a teenager. Strike that, I meant kindergartener. Have the hipsters discovered Barney yet?
Almost forgot this soundbite from croquet game…..
LOCAL KID: “hey can I play?”
HIPSTER: “like sorry little dude, but like, you gotta have a beard and or glasses to play and be in your mid 30′s….but if you go get me some Bali Shag and a butterfly spit smoothie we’ll let you keep score on this homemade vintage chalk board from 1938 once owned by Franklin D. Roosevelt”.
It’s bad enough they actually do these things but notice they also take themselves too seriously in the process. They can’t laugh at themselves when they fall off the rope or miss an easy croquet shot. The fact what they are doing is utterly ridiculous flies right over their heads and they proceed as if there is something on the line. Other than pride, I mean.
Wasn’t there a story a while back about hipsters “discovering” bocce?
/facepalm
The Oatmeal takes another well-deserved jab at hipsters:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/state_web_spring
Here are the next 9 gazillion dollar valuated high-school programming projects:
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2012/05/07/technology/start-ups-next-big-thing.html?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=edit_th_20120507
The one called Airtime from the Napster creators, not much is known about it, but the VCs all want in. And then there’s DropBox with an innovative new concept, FTP-ing your files to a centralized server.
Excellent! Ponzi 2.0. Gold ManSacks will, of course drop all pretense of underwriting standards and take these public – none of them having revenue or profits – rake in millions in fees for themselves and spreading the initial pop to their buddies, and then bail, leaving everybody else holding the bag. And these effing babytalk names – meepMorp.com, glorb.com, pooPooKaaKaa.com
There’s a hipster mentality in this business, too. The DropBox page has an SDK for Ruby, Python, iOS, OSX and Java, but not, you guessed it, .NET. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost slapped one of these MS haters who harumphed at the mention of Microsoft. I even had one sandal-wearing neo-hippie almost in tears because he lost a project to me.
BTW, thanks for helping me get stuck on stupid at the Oatmeal for the next hour. Haven’t been there for 6 months or so.
I’m an art student born and raised in Brooklyn from Mill Basin, and I swear my school is like a factory for hipsters. I know one guy who is purposely trying to make himself a hipster by trying to be unique by listening to Frank Sinatra, dressing all fancy and shit. I sometimes would like to knock him out. I swear my college is filled with those freaken “oh I am so unique cause I listen to indie music” and shit. My old roommates were hipsters and we didn’t get along so well. I’m representing the real Brooklyn, and I swear I will nicely tell them to fuck off. I know a lot of people in that school don’t like me cause I am staying true to myself I’m not wearing anything to make me seem so unique. Navy blue all day. Its not just the midwest its rural areas that makes these ass holes. When I see good art its stuff like Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Monet, Vemmer etc. Not smearing bullshit on a canvas. The photo majors at my school fagetaboutit they think “oh I can take a photo” of a fucking rock and call that art. ugh I’m glad I’m an animation major and like telling stories who knows maybe in the future I will show the world again the real brooklyn. But this People playing fuck crickets and b.s they need to go away. I’m glad I only consider Mill Basin, across to Bay Ridge the real Brooklyn, as the rest is being in gulfed by the un grown people.
Well said. People who say they like indie music should be because it’s good music, not because they’re not signed to a major label. Otherwise they’ve participating in some of the most insidious form of conformity there is, where everyone tries to be “unique” and still turn out the same, like in the play/movie “Suburbia”. (I don’t think the hipsters have seen that play/movie. They’ll find a lot of themselves in it.)
One of my old roomies loves the band The Clash. I never heard of them until he mentioned them to be honest. Nobody else really seemed to care. When he went to a (reunion? tribute?) concert, he was one of the youngest people there. (Early 20′s.) Most fans were like around 50 years old and had kids his age who didn’t like The Clash. At least he knew what he liked and stuck to it.
Hell yeah I love the Goo Goo dolls and I know a lot of people my age are glorify 60 and 70 rock bands but I love my Goo Goo dolls and I stick to that very much. There’s nothing wrong with listening to Indie music but when you just limit yourself to a genre because you feel that its better than mainstream music and then brag to others saying that your taste in music and style is better then just go and die. Everyone has their likes and dislikes and they shouldn’t act like their interest are better than the next person.
I love music and always have. That does not make me unique, thankfully, otherwise there wouldn’t be much music to pick from. I like having a variety of tastes in many genres but that doesn’t make ME the artist or the originator. When fans of music misidentify themselves in some way as somehow BEING the artist, it devalues it imho. And I’m not a fan of popular music in more modern day contexts because it’s kind of synthetic ( like one way or britney spears stuff ). That said, there’s clearly a large number of people who DO like that music and that’s fine, I don’t think less of them. But the hipster DOES. It’s the arrogance on their part that differentiates them from music lover and trendy.
If everybody was exactly the same in every way, we’d live in a boring fuckign world indeed. The hipster wants to EVANGELIZE because they see their own tastes in music as morally superior and when I think about the artists whose music I enjoy, who they were as artists, they’d rather the hipster not even be in the audience. Dean Martin, Billie Holliday, Miles Davis etc would NOT waste their time trying to convince people that if they didn’t listen to their music, they must be moronic. Wouldn’t happen. But if it were left to the hipster to decide, the ONLY people in the audience would be themselves!
Jerks.
Motherfucker do you know how hard it is to tightrope walk? No shit she is going to practice at a low height. That is some ninja shit right there. Girls who are good at gymnastics like this have the tightest bodies, lot of fags up in this place I guess.
That ugly bitch in the pic does NOT have a “tight body”. That bitch is “skinny fat” to say the least, but hey — you may as well get in where you fit in and if I were a pear shaped hipster “male” like yourself, my standard would quite low too. A gymnast wouldn’t give a pussy like you the time of day (unless she needed her grass cut or wanted to laugh at you as you strain to move her furniture).
Sounds like a guy who wouldn’t know what to do with some pussy if it came with instructions. What the fuck do you know about athletic women?
See, this is what you hipsters do when you’re desperate. First you come with the “intellectual/enlightened” route when you think you’re going up against “neanderthals”. It is only when you realize that your opponents are not only intellectually superior to you (not a hard thing to be when dealing with a hipster) but in many cases are more “progressive” than yourself, you switch to “tough/macho guy” mode. You use the same stock insults that the jocks directed towards you back in flyover country. You assume since I’m not a ‘neaderthal’ or ‘meathead’ that I must be some pussy like you who never had the balls to fight back against the bullies. Sorry, you lose again. That bitch is as ugly (95% of hipsters are unattractive) as you’re transparent. You’re both made for each other. One can only hope one of you is sterile.
Wow, tell me more about how you fought against the bullies. Stirring stuff.
What good would it do? It won’t make you any less of a hipster pussy.
^^ LOL fucking win!
LOL!
Nah son. I just checked out that picture and clicked on it and zoomed in and shit. Homegirl does not have an athletic body…not out of shape, but not super in-shape either.
And I know what I’m talking about. I’ve been working out 5 days a week in the gym for 34 weeks and I’ve been taking yoga classes in order to become a certified yoga instructor.. I’m around women like 90% of the time b.
Me thinks you need to get your vision checked or get higher standards.
Hipsters get in where they fit in. A hipster is well aware of how low his standards are — he’ll just never admit it. He knows he’s a loser among losers. He knows that even the chick like the one in the pic wouldn’t normally give him the time of day. On the rare occasion a chick does give him the time of day, she’ll be cheating on him in no time with a dude who’s the total opposite of him.
Spoken like a man who thinks poontang is a city in Thailand.
Spoken like a cornball who spent hours combing his brain to come up with that weak ass reply.
I don’t think he even tried that hard. Probably just googled it.
@2112, what, are you a fucking 12 year old yupster defender? Jesus H Christ, please, don’t even attempt it here… you will get murdered because we HATE these motherfucking parentally-funded, interloping shitrag wannabes AND we are smarter than you.
That woman is a 5 or 6 at best. She also has the “bytch face” look of a modern feminist hipster hag. Her body is not “tight.” It’s decent. If you had options you’d see this. She’s bangable but nothing special. Unless of course you’re a desperate beta hipster geek looking for your Williamsburg “soul mate.” In which case, you two can run off together and pick daisies in the park. Just remember when she lets you kiss her on the cheek that she’s thinking about the alpha who gave her the ride of her life one night and left her.
Dude, you’re being generous. Feminist she ain’t. Even the butchiest lesbian feminists have more class than that.
More like aging Carrie Bradshaw/New Age goddess worshiping homeopathic meditation fertility dancer waiting for Mr. Big to come round the corner any day now and whisk her off to marital paradise before the trust fund runs out.
She’s a 3 or 4 at best and I wouldn’t fuck that thing after a 4 kegs of vodka.
Personally, i don’t give a rats ass what she LOOKS like, who she screws, or who screws her. It’s what she’s DOING that is odd. She’d likely argue she can’t practice her walking in her apartment. Which is easy enough to counter with,”then join a circus and go train where the pros ACTUALLY train, dipshit.” Just strikes me as a purposeless activity except for the look at me factor which makes it fundamentally PURPOSELESS!
I posted this about a year ago in the EV Grieve referring to the Frat Boys and the Like Yah Girls of the EV.
“We must kill them. We must incinerate them. Pig after pig… cow after cow… village after village… army after army…”
Or, to quote another movie about an overwhelming menace, “You don’t have enough ammunition, Captain, to shoot them all in the head. The time to have done that was in the beginning. But we let them overrun us. They HAVE overrun us, you know. We’re in the minority now. Something like 400,000 to one by my calculations.”
So anyway, this dude needs to get his ass kicked:
Kill him for his own good.
That’s Minneaolis’ West Bank area. (Who’d have guessed??).
If I see him I’ll take it upon myself to f- this dude up…
What he needs is his own pot, so he can beat on it while yelling “OKLAHOMA! OKLAHOMA! OKLAHOMA!”
DH is a sad person living a sad life.
I’d be sad too if my site almost had 2,000,000 page views…:/
Shut your mouth you piece of shit. I wish every single one of you hipsters would die like the vermin you are. Literally. I wouldn’t shed a tear for scum like you.
Posting as me? Damn, ShaneDUNG, the butthurt is strong in thee.
I JUST took pics of a scrawny hipster bitch trying to get attention doing the SAME thing, in Portland- “tightrope” walking, next to a playground. I was going to send them in to Die Hipster tomorrow, when I saw this post.
Not only was she (I think it was a she) ugly, badly dressed, and had zero talent, she would look around to see if anyone was paying attention every few seconds. The only people watching were me, my friends and our kids, and we were laughing.
Oh, and at the playground, a few Mexican kids about 6-8yrs old, were tossing a tennis ball to each other. A hipster dad with one kid, dad was on his iphone the whole time and had ugly dyed hair and funny clothes was being a busy body. My friend told me this dad went up and told the kids “this playground is for kids 2-5, you need to leave or stop throwing the ball”. I wish I had heard it, I would’ve, um, shared my opinion…..
Was there a sign posting age limits? They’re all under 10 still. Guess hipster dad sees himself as a 5 year old.
With any kind of luck the story would have ended “And the kids beat the shit out of the hipster.” It’s about right for them – about the only ones they can impress are six and under. Maybe.
And why, oh why, do I picture you sharing your opinion involves hanging him by his big toes and using him as a Viking pinata? “Aim for the glasses, kids, and see what falls out!”
LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Photo that explains the difference between pros who use PCs, and the Mac crowd:
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/the-main-difference-between-pcs-and-macs/
“The Mac guy from the “I’m a Mac, I’m a PC” ads is considered by many to be a hipster stereotype. In fact, many people who appear in Apple ads appear to be hipsters. This is likely the result of Apple trying to tell people “Buy a Mac and be a hip counterculture artist rather than a PC using drone,” which is a bit ridiculous when you realize that Mac OS X forces more conformity on its users than any other OS.
Plus, Apple’s net worth now exceeds that of Microsoft, meaning that Apple is now “the Man.”
- http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hipster
Same as with Harley-Davidson in the motorcycle world. They sell the “be an individual nonconformist rebel” lifestyle to bankers and doctors. They’re individual all right – all wearing the same H-D branded shit, off the rack from the H-D accessory store. It’s the official uniform. They sell the idealized lifestyle image, not the merch.
Apple’s market cap is the largest, but MSFT actually sells useful software that generates a larger revenue stream, and higher profits, as opposed to selling overpriced gadgets. Now that iJesus is dead, you’l see them go back to the way they were in the 90s: niche products and proprietary technology. And it was only after iJesus died that AAPL started paying a dividend and giving the shareholders some of the $100B in cash that it was sitting on. Apple is nothing without iJesus.
I haven’t been to Maddox’s site in a long time. Loved the I “Hate Sash Grey” bit.
Thank You Maddox for that Sasha Grey page.
Sasha Grey thinks she’s the hipster Linda Lovelace. Except she hasn’t done anything even remotely interesting in her short career. OK, she’s fuckable, I’ll give her that. But put her in a lineup of porn stars and she’s pretty near the bottom. Now, she’s showing up on LA Law and CSI, so fucking what?
When I think of great names in porn, I think Ron Jeremy, Annie Sprinkle, Betty Page, Al Goldstein, Vanessa Del Rio, Bambi Woods, Robyn Bird, people who spent a decade or more in the industry, did some groundbreaking things for their time, retired (or died from AIDS or an overdose) and then became media idols.
Sasha Grey has done none of those things. She’s just another juvenile twat who, instead of going to college, decided to study pole dancing. She doesn’t know jack shit about anything, has nothing interesting to say and is just an annoying bimbo. See how long she takes to marry some millionaire and graduate to Paris Hilton status.
all that and the fact that she can’t act her way out of a paper bag. She was for shit on Entourage.
i could be wrong about this, but i think Apple’s net worth is due primarily to its portable devices and things like iPads and NOT their computers.
As I said, expensive gadgets. But that’s not what makes their stock valuable. It’s the company that *was* Steve Jobs. He’s gone.
A little off topic but I’m watching a rerun of Law & Order CI and they’re investigating hipster deaths in Williamsburg. They referenced that the victim was last seen at a spelling bee. Nearly spit out my Maxwell house coffee laughing so hard. Jeff Goldblum spouting statistics to a hipster on how many musicians that come to NYC from flyover states to make it big and fail is going to make it worth sitting on the couch on my only day off for the rest of the hour.
Now I must look for that episode on hulu. Any of them sound like a hipster beating from this site?
Best episode ever. Complete with bud beg infestations and women who use their own body fluids as art. Guess the Daily Show producers aren’t the only ones who read DH. It was Criminal Intent when Jeff Goldblum joins the cast. I couldn’t give you a reference point as to when that is since I work 6 nights a week. But it was worth the watch: )
Bed Bug* silly auto correct : )
Too bad the punchline isn’t “f-em, not like they are missed anyway.” and then close the investigation.
The old police term “NHI” applies: “No Humans Involved”.
Ridiculous number of cliches in this precious article:
http://dinersjournal.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/07/a-foraged-dinner-at-the-food-book-fair/
WTF is a “foodologist”? The beardo in the pocture dropping what looks like moldy chicken parts onto a sheet pan? Or was that mutated locally-sourced radioactive cucumbers from a roodtop garden? No, wait – I think he might have an actiual job there. I’m SO confused…
I also liked the quote “It’s really hard not to pick the lamb’s quarters and the shepherd’s brush that is growing within a block of here”. It;s not hard if you stop to realize that a rat pissed on the lamb’s quarters five minutes ago, and the shepherd’s brush has a heavy metal content that would qualify it as an EPA Superfund site and cause goiters to grow on a bowling ball.
And let’s hear ot for “..John Cage, though in this crowd he was celebrated less for his music than for his passion for wild mushrooms. In fact, Cage [] died in 1992…”, possibly due to the one mistake he made while harvesting and then consuming his beloved shrooms.
And then there’s “…basswood leaves, lily shoots, garlic mustard, knotweed — that were picked by the noted forager Evan Strusinki in Vermont. (He Fedexed them over.)” WHAT???? WHO???
What pathetic poseurs. I feel like I’m in a gunfight with an unarmed man.
Heh heh
That article linked to this: The Masturbation Bros of sugar-beet vodka (reminds me of Granny’s rocket fuel/medicine from the Beverley Hillbillies).
http://drinkicd.com/
WE ARE BUILDING
A DISTILLERY
TO MAKE A
SUGAR BEET
VODKA
WE ARE
LOCATED IN
BROOKLYN, NY
IN THE OLD
BUSH TERMINAL
We are building a distillery from scratch.
Because it’s a challenge, because it’s a chance for us to improve on one of the oldest endeavors of mankind, because it brings together science and art and engineering in a way that makes us giddy, and because the process is really fun.
Enjoy the Methanol guys!
Oh god, what a bunch of beardos. I think their business plan is as follows:
1. Make sugar-beet vodka.
2. ?????
3. Profit!
2. Sell vastly inferior product to stupid hipsters for vastly inflated prices.
They don’t need the profit, either. Step 3 is “Get lots and lots of attention from the Times and Gothamist”.
Blow up the still like the in a Warner Bros cartoon witht he copper tank impaled on your head like a flower.
when i saw that lineup of beardo wankers i wanted to smash my screen…my only hope is that they convert all that equipment into a a gigantic meth lab, sell “artisinal meth” exclusively to hipsters and completely wipe their species out
I’m guessing their daily routine looks like this:
- Bike to work
- Circle jerk for an hour
- Naked yoga
- Pour nasty chemical filth into bottles
- Circle jerk again
- Check up on their trust funds
- Wax mustache/beard
- Profit?
And the bastardization of centuries old honorable professions sinks even lower. I would comment further but I’m too busy shaking my fucking head. For once these bloodsucking pricks have left me speechless.
God. Another masturbatory NYT article about nothing.
“Ms. Thacker Jones, 32, felt her academic work needed some public demystifying. “People don’t understand what it is,” she said. “They say, ‘Oh, you’re going to eat your way through grad school.’” Spin it all you want Megan or Zooey or whatever the fuck your name is, but eating your way through grad school is EXACTLY what you’re doing, along with burning through your parents’ retirement savings.
And anybody who may initially have been interested in anything she had to say just can’t make it through all the pretension, that’s why she feels the need to “demystify” aka justify her existence.
As for the “noted forager” term–the NYT reporter just made that up on the spot.
Well, the reporter re-invented it. The last time I heard it used was when Euell Gibbons died 32 years ago. (I didn’t have any problems with Gibbons: he got into wild food to feed his family, and he spent his life noting that you could eat pretty damn well in most places in the US for free. It’s the dolts who make eating Cossack asparagus, the immature leaves in cattails, into a political statement that piss me off.)
True about Euell Gibbons. Thanks for reminding me about him. People cracked on him a bit but I thought what he did was pretty cool. He was doing his thing in a matter-of-fact way and didn’t have this urgent need to be kewel and have “street cred from Brooklyn even if it’s really Queens” like these fuckwad “foodologists” do. He didn’t need to spend his parents’ retirement savings on a staycation and post-graduate foodology studies, either.
The university students here do the tightrope thing on campus, but they couldn’t care less if anyone’s watching. Not that there’s a whole lot of foot traffic to see them.
Which is probably the reason why the hipsters here *don’t* do it.
Cut the lady some slack. Between the wendsday afternoon tightrope acts (11am and 3pm) and the fading memories of that time she drank her own miscarriage as a form of performance art, she really ain’t got much else for people to look at or be interested in.
That’s a joke, right? Which beardo’s imbecile parents were suckered into mortgaging their life’s work to fund these jerks? And why is their vodka red and clear? Could it be from Zoe’s “sugar beet field” yeast? Inquiring minds want to know. Also the FDA.
I was hoping to God these worthless spank socks would stick to harmless ventures like typewriter restoration and curating Columbia House mail order Record Stickers. But when they start delving into things like food, power tools and distilling I worry for the general population. I think we’re gonna get have a lot of possum faced, banjo picking Slingblade types trolling the streets of Brooklyn in the next 20 years.
This is why we need to encourage the children of hipsters to marry real New Yorkers. Hybrid vigor does wonders to stem the damage from extensive inbreeding.
Distilling. Don’t worry. The local wine and liquor stores in gentrified areas are big on advocating “DRINK LOCALLY”. Scotto’s on Court Street had a window full of bottles with little signs proudly proclaiming the Brooklyn origins of the swill. This lets real people know exactly what to avoid.
the “tightrope” thing is actually a “sport” called slack lining. It is something stoner rock climbers are known to do on off days. I talked so much shit about it before i tried it because it does make you look like a giant douche, but it actualy is very challenging and quite a bit of fun. Its a fantastic core workout too. Im not defending hipsters or what they do, its just that slacklining is, in fact, quite fun.
not here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I know is, if I wanted to tightrope walk, I would find some secluded spot, tie a rope between two trees or poles, and practice, practice, practice until I got it right. Then, and only then, would I come out and do it in public.
Even then, it would have to be some feat like the French guy who walked the Twin Towers back in the 70s. Otherwise, what’s the point? I have no interest in being a “Look at MEEEEEEE” monkey like miss yeastinfectasarus maximus in that pic.
NO…No No…this is NOT challenging. Waking up at 3AM every morning and dumping trashcans into a sanitatiion truck is CHALLENGING. Tarring a roof in the middle of august for 10 bucks an hour is challenging. Taking night courses in the hard sciences while supoorting a family is CHALLENGING.
Trying to walk a tightrope suspended 12 inches off the ground is NOT challenging. It’s f**cking childish.
Most of you senior commenters know me. Yes I am a transplant….OMG…So a few of the medics and civilian friends went out tonight…..IM DYING INSIDE because my buddy(a native new yorker) stopped me from giving an “”lesson” to an arteest” it was transplant vs. transplant….only i was willing to snap a hipster……you know it’s called being a man and not buying your jeans in the ladies department…..All our(youre view, native new yorkers were viewed as i tried to snap this man/woman) God bless a transplant thank wants to live among you and god bless EMS
Ya know TA.. during the civil war, immigrants signing up for the union army got you automatic citizenship.
Punching a worthless hipster in the throat automatically makes you a native NY-er. it’s a law..reallly.
I feel sorry for you guys. These pricks are starting to invade my neck of the woods as well, (rural IL.) We’re starting to see more and more of ‘em, and it doesn’t help that alot of old businesses here are going away, and making room for their trendy hotspots!
Senior citizens should start to feel threatened now as well. How long before retirement communities start getting infested with these ironic d**chebags?
http://brooklynpaper.com/stories/35/19/all_oldschoolgames_2012_05_11_bk.html
I’m sure it’s only a matter of time when thrity something twizzlers and Zooeys don their Charles Nelson Reilly leisure suits and neckerchiefs sipping Metamucil and Kombucha cocktails while riding around in their ironic electric carts.
Honestly these people have no shame. If I were a betting man I’d say the next area to fall will be the catskills. They’ll turn into some hipster version of a 1950′s country club.
Jeez that reads like one of your Hipster Fictions Pat. Except not as amusing. I really wish the “press” would stop giving them all the attention that they so desperately crave.
The first rule of writing is “write what you know,” which is why so many “culture” reporters grunt out articles like these. After all, you have to be working for XOJane to write about masturbation all day and get paid for it.
….with a vintage juggling pin AKA “Coney Island Wife Tamer”.
There’s a reason WHY seniors play Canasta, shuffleboard, Mah Jong (sp), Bridge, etc. and don’t participate in sports like rugby, basketball, mixed martial arts and Amish Rake fighting – it’s because it’s risky at their age.
I’m 50 and trying to come to grips with the fact that I now have trouble getting up at 4:30 AM to go to the gym (as a result, I put weight back on) . But dammit I try. To see 20-30 year olds acting like residents of an assisted living facility is really disturbing.I’m sure we’ll all see the day soon when the hobby du jour will be to call the EMTs just to have someone to talk to over cofee cake and Pstoum.
My father is 76 years old and still goes to the gym every day. 30 minutes of cardio and 60 minutes of weights.
And these j*rkoffs play kickball and shuffleboard.
f**ck me!
Arrghh coffee cake and Postum. Sorry.
First line of the article: “Now you can have all of the fun of retirement without giving up your job.”
What job do these hipsters have?
The way I see it, they may as well enjoy retirement now. I mean, it’s not as if they’ll have any money left when they do hit retirement age.
Can we get them to hold an All-Gowanus bingo, shuffleboard, and disco marathon in the Royal Palms, lock the doors, and bulldoze the building into the canal? And then set the canal on fire?
Slow news day…Canadian Ron Burgundy moves to Williamsburg
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/08/nyregion/pat-kiernan-brings-a-familiar-face-to-a-brooklyn-neighborhood.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1
One of this Sundays papers had a “Who’s Who” of Brooklyn cool.(Puke) Think it was the Post
And it gets worse. Jack Bogdanski is increasingly one of the few sane people left in Portland, and he’s been warning people about those stupid bike sharing kiosks the beardos wank about all day. The real horror is that you know how every last hipster in the rest of the country justifies stupid ideas because “Portland does it”? Well, in Portland, those stupid and expensive ideas are justified because “New York does it!”
http://bojack.org/2012/05/new_york_bike_share_prices_alm.html
Places like Amsterdam are bike meccas everyone rides a bike. Same in ItalyBut the reason fordoing so is because it’s such a pain to negotiate the city in a car. that’s why I love walking in NYC or taking mass transit. It’s faster in most cases.
At 95 bucks a year it doesn’t seem like a bad deal if you have unlimites use. I can’t see this as a viable business model – what with theft, repairs, maintenance. The citiy’s better off selling bikes at a small profit through some state-owned business – like PA’s state Liquort stores.
But then – we’re talking about folks who in the spirit of identity politics and green initiatives decided to flood the city with trash cans. But the trash cans are something like 300 bucks a piece and made of metal. no you can;’t find them because peopel steal them and sell them for scrap.
That’s what’s already happened in Portland. The biggest concern everyone has, and the concern the mayor poo-poohs every time it comes up, is that each and every one of these is either going to end up in a scrapyard or ridden into the Willamette River. I won’t even start up with the sociopaths among the hipster population who already think it’s incredibly clever to slice the tires on random bikes: I can only imagine the expression on someone’s face when they try to get a bike and find every last one with flat tires or stripped gears.
Many older cities in Europe were built before cars were invented. The USA was build on the auto industry. Plus, many places were bombed out in WWII and rebuilt from scratch after the war. As such, bike lanes were in place from the get go. Add to that more expensive gas and more environmentally conscious people (and not in a LOOK AT MEEEEEEE way) and you’ll see why bikes are such a popular mode of transportation over there (trams and subways exist there for the same reason).
Problem is when dipshits try turning US car cities into bike cities. It just doesn’t work. Sorry but if I have to bring my sick mother to the hospital, I need a car. A bike just ain’t going to cut it.
http://gothamist.com/2012/05/08/winged_animal_week_backyard_chicken.php#photo-1
So i checked out the link for Victory Chicken. Someone check my math here.
For 75 dollars a month Victory chicken will lease me a coop and three chickens.
My local shoprite had eggs last week – 18 for 1.88. which means that for 75 dollars I could have bought 718 eggs per month. If I had three chickens they would have to lay about 8 eggs a day
to jsutify the cost.
Now unless the chicken is called “Octo Mom” I think Shoprite is the better value.
Out here in Dallas, we have a long-running garden center that was recently hipsterized, and they make a huge deal about buying, not renting, the whole Williams-Sonoma urban chicken experience. As with so many other hipster functions, it’s mostly so rich assholes can play at being farmers, the way Marie Antoinette and her court used to dress up as milkmaids and play at running a farm. Worse, that goofball experience somehow makes them experts at costs of production, not understanding that it’s great that you lose money on every egg that you raise when you have a millionaire husband or father willing to subsidize your every move.
On brighter news, my wife needed a new spatula, so we hit the local Tuesday Morning store while we were out doing errands. Among all of the other remainders and dead fads, should it be any surprise that the cooking section was absolutely rotten with remaindered gourmet cupcake accessories? I’m just waiting for the remaindered cupcake vending machines…
One can only hope the urban farmers go the way of Marie Antoinette. “Let them eat cupcakes!” ?
Ah, but the article mentions the educational value. The hipsters are being trained by the chickens to feed, house, and tend them. Note that the superior intellect of the chicken is housed in a brain about the size of a bean. The hipsters are being charged dollars for this, so the hipster brain – well, not so big… And the chickens will make out until disease or the local rodent or feline population does away with them, or the children get tired of their new toys.
That’s Blair, Shasta and Robotron. Don’t hurt their feelings.
(Funny naming your chicken after an East German TV factory)
Maybe it’s just here in my town, but has anyone noticed nowadays hipsters greeting each other with hugs? It’s not even the lame bro-hug but an over-extended hug. Is it a hipster thing or a gay thing*? I honestly can’t tell.
*NTTAWWT.
They lose their sense of smell? Bedbug and hair louse cross-breeding experiments?
It’s not a gay thing. It’s a pedophile social worker thing. Remember that priest or Jesus guy who always rubbed up against the kids any chance he could? It’s that kind of thing.
And yes, all violence directed against those “Free Hugs” people should be legalized.
I grew up with friends who had croquet lawns at their houses, and you need flatter ground than that to play on. Amateurs!
you’ve never seen slack-lining before?
it’s not as lame as you think
http://www.slackline.com/
The hipster trapeze obsession is spreading.
Yesterday in downtown Savannah, Georgia I spotted Caleb complete with his Hipster Babe Magnet Attention Pack – a trapeze 4 feet off the ground with his two golden retrievers chained comfortably to one of the trees for added conversational potential. As Caleb practiced diligently in his “Live Simply” graphic T, a couple of ladies did sidle up to play with the dogs. Seemed like he had more luck than the 2 Brooklyn ladies above…
That bottom photo looks like a fucking Ralph Lauren ad…if Ralph Lauren was an underground clothing designer who sold flannel shirts made of 100% open-range wool, and skinny jeans made from organic free-trade cotton