Man, I really can’t stand knowing these attention-starved fucking hipster soy-boys are coming down to explore and pioneer into still-normal Brooklyn neighborhoods. Somebody spotted a pack of them riding their stupid raised seat bicycles along Flatbush Ave in Marine Park and sent me this picture. This is unacceptable. How badly do you need attention that in your 20′s or 30′s you ride a bike with a 6 ft high seat in your hipster uniform? Doofy motherfuckers! “LOOOOOK AT MEEEE, LOOOOOK AT MEEE! I made it to the magical land of Brooklyn!!!”
hahahaha! What a bunch of goofballs. What happens if they have to stop? Did they bring step ladders?
No, they fall 2 stories, crack their skull and live in a group home for hipster retards – a hipster beat down of sorts… Irony not included.
We had a full house of these dolts in Dallas a few years back, where they’d go riding down Greenville Avenue on Saturday afternoons on their 12-foot ladder bikes. Well, that lasted until three things happened. First, the city decided to upgrade Greenville Avenue, which meant months of gravel and dirt on the roads, which you don’t want to have under your wheels when you’re trying a turn. Yeah, speed times mass encountering gravel-strewn pavement from 12 feet up usually means broken bones and mush. Second, the owner of the property decided that he took less aggravation from neighbors and police for all-night parties and bike parts piled up in the front yard by kicking out the hipsters, demolishing the house, and selling the lot. (Said beardos had caused so much damage in the four years they lived there that the owner figured it was cheaper to demolish it than to renovate it.) Third, the whole commune was planning to relocate, but guess what? The parents of the head beardo finally said “We’re dead broke,” and when he had to move back home, the whole thing fell apart. Hipsters 0, Dallas 1.
I guess we can also take comfort in knowing that these clowns might also have very inferior
fabricating skills so the bikes just might fall apart.
“Like ya like the beer cooler won’t fit so like let’s grind a notch in the frame so it does”.
I’m in Dallas now…from NYC. Theres hipsters here?! CHRIST! Thank God for living in a gun friendly state….hopefully silencer friendly too…. and high power scope. PROBLEM SOLVED
Just avoid West Plano and the area around the DoubleWide near Fair Park, and you should be fine. The worst infestation is in Plano, but they tend to come downtown when they run out of heroin and have to leave the suburbs.
Sorry to post first, but my commo is live 24/365…
I can always take comfort in knowing that my Father is named Robert Francis, My Mother is named Andree Marie, My Brother – God rest his soul – was named Daniel Robert, my sister is named Susan Mary Magdalene, and I am named Thomas Joseph – all good Catholic names.
There is something good to be remembered before tis good country of America fell to to it’s sorry state. I remember living in the greatest of times. I pray that we’ll stay great. DIE HIPSTER!
Oh hell no they’re in my part of town.
Not sure if anyone linked this yet…. but I can’t tell if it’s a satire or serious….
http://exiledonline.com/the-horror-of-hbos-girls/
Explains it all. Now I know never to watch this turd for brains show.
And so we return to the early Nineties. If this piece of crap becomes a hit, expect all sorts of “Prozac Nation” ripoffs, complete with Elizabeth Wurtzel whining about how she wasn’t consulted.
i got through the first episode (HBO) has it up for free). There’s a scene where the two girls are in the bathroom sharing the tub in the morning and the skank in the shot above is covered with tats (children’s book illustrations – she’s a writer, get it?) and she’s eating an artisanal cupcake.
That Dunham girl is so ugly, yet is trying so hard to look adorable and quirky like she’s the next Zoey Deschanel. The first couple of seconds of the video above have a nice shot of her stuffing her doughy fat face. Gross.
I think her highschool yearbook voted her “most likely to be found strangled in an alley with scarf”.
Oh look! She has a banjo in her living room! And her floor and couch are covered in books! She must be so quirky and smart and artistic!
Ugh.
And she has the straight bangs thing going!! God I fucking hate Zooey Deschanel and that whole “I’m just a quirky innocent girl with a good heart trying to make it in the big bad city” act. Not in the least surprised that her father is named Caleb.
She’s a wanna-be Parker Posey, but will never achieve Parker’s level of cool.
Besides, Mary Tyler Moore had the been there, done that about three decades
before munchmouth-girl was even born.
Mary Tyler Moore wasn’t cool. She had a job, hung out with mature people who had jobs and never once ate organic hummus or tofu. She didn’t have a banjo or a ukelele, didn’t play in a band, didn’t live with four other roommates plus she never got naked and acted all zany and stuff.
Very true terminator and glad you listed what it was that made the character special in case any tardo’s stop by.
I meant in a general ‘small town girl moves to the city’ kind of way, but yeah…can’t compare steak to hamburger at all. Thanks again for mentioning her better qualities.
Oh good i can’t stand this commerical
Dunham is a fat-ankled pig. That movie Tiny Furniture was a piece of shit and i have no interest in seeing this show.. And Deschanel may be annoying, but at least i would bang her if given the chance.
Agreed on the Deschanel comment. Hey, do you all remember this video that was posted here months ago? I don’t know if they’re really hipsters. I hear it on every pop station in town.
Best comment in the whole article imo:
“….the most important point: the show as a whole is an evil lie.”
Bingo!
a good gust of wind when they ride over the Marine Parkway bridge will put them all in the drink. At that height, their seats are higher than the guard rail.
VERY good point. I’d watch that happen and yell “WEEEEEEEEEE!” as they fell over lol
True. There are standard for things like railing be it building codes, NTSC or OSHA with reagrd to railing height.
But then i guess now we’re going to have to start installing 12 foot barriers.
Then they;ll show up with 20 foot high bikes.
And we’ll have to pay for them with our hard-earned tax dollars.
This is them: The Black Label Bike Club.
Driven by anti-materialism and a belief that the impending apocalypse will render cars useless and leave bicycles in power, Black Label Bike Club (BLBC) battles mainstream consumer culture and rival gangs for its vision of a better tomorrow.
Pulling threads from Critical Mass and the wider bike counterculture, B.I.K.E. explores such themes as radical politics, personal artistic vision, global responsibility, relationships, group formation, and perhaps most prominently, pain and love.
Co-directors Jacob Septimus and Anthony Howard followed the Brooklyn chapter of BLBC for over two years to meetings, parties, jousts, gatherings of the tribes in Amsterdam and Minneapolis, and the protests of the 2004 Republican National Convention to create their masterpiece.
This fascinating and gorgeously gritty film provides insight into a passionate subculture, and exposes the darker aspects of living on the wild side. Edited from over 385 hours of footage spanning two years, Fountainhead Films presents B.I.K.E.: a riveting look into the ways in which identity is important for a collective of fiercely independent people
Screenings and Institutional Sale of B.I.K.E. are available through Evil Twin Booking.
http://www.eviltwinbooking.org
info *a*t* eviltwinbooking.org
Oh for the love of christ, save me. Fucking hipsters.
Fiercely independent people?? How the fuck can people who have things paid by mom and dad dare call themselves independent?
Substitute the words, “now go get your shine box” with “EVERYTHING IS ART!”
And why the fuck is everything with them a “collective”? It’s just a fancy pretentious word for “group”.
And why organize or showcase something when you can “curate” it? None of these people ever works for a charity like the Heart & Stroke Foundation or something equally boring or useful. It’s always the North Gowanus (No-Go) Sump Pump Dandelion Cultivating Collective.
And of course, why be a journalist (deadlines and long work hours) when you can blog for a friend’s band on your folks’ dime? And why be a wedding/portrait photographer (boring, corporate and useful to people) when you can be a freelance fashion photographer?!
And who can forget the “freelance graphic designers?” Actual graphic designers are generally far too busy working for companies to blog about how delicious the quinoa-themed resto was in Red Hook.
All I could hear when I watched that was “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine…”.
They’re so ‘core’…they’re so ‘deck’…they’re so….they’re so…
NOT going to be doing this in five years LOL I’d have said ‘when they’re 40′, but their a) not strong enough to endure it that long and b) one hipster year = approximately ten minutes.
Just like the whole typewriter thing that was oh so 2 months ago. They’re all back on their MacBooks now.
God help me, the new job I start next week is issuing me a brand new MacBook. I hope they don’t force me to get an iPhone too. The company is tech based, so I’m not surprised, but I have no desire to get Mac happy.
Not the same Lady J, youre using the macbook for a JOB. I’m not gonna stop using my stuff just cause they’ve fucked it up. The secret is to take something THEY like and YOU fuck it up for them. ie: organic Mcdonalds
too bad the driver of that car wasnt suddenly overtaken with an urge to run those stick-armed, penny farthing riding filthy fucks over. 4 less cretins that have ruined brooklyn
I looked to see if the “bike club” had a website, just for a good laugh, and i discovered they have a wikipedia page, which has a link to a wiki page for “tall bikes”, and on this page they have a section titled “practical uses” for said tall bikes. In there it says the “increaed visibility” and “wow factor” give them a safety advantage. Its hard to believe someone could have their head so far up their ass to believe this is safer than a normal bike. I am so tempted to edit “wow” factor to “wow, look at that asshole” factor.
They also believe in leprechauns and the tooth fairy. What assholes.
i vote for ‘wow, look at that asshat’….WLATA
wah-la-ta!
they’re not smart enough to realize that form over function isn’t exactly the genius’ way of choosing or building tools…modes of transport are tools…why is simplicity of design so lost on them?
Hipsters are as materialistic as anyone else if not moreso to keep up with their “artisinal” junk trends. (Kony 2012 stuff will be trashed by 2013 if not by Fall.) They’re just more snobby about it. At least I can identify with a comic book collection vs used beard hair tampons made into a sculpture about sculpturing.
I was fully expecting to see those KONY posters up all over Williamsburg on 4/20. I guess after their leader was arrested for running around naked and whacking off, no one took them seriously anymore. Because I didn’t see a single poster anywhere.
I managed to find that movie on bit torrent. It’ll be a snowstorm in Hell before I pay a penny for that visual diarrhea.
The movie is so ludicrous you can’t imagine. One ridiculous scene after another.
The heroin addict, smashes mirrors and throws temper tantrums all the time – ON CAMERA.
Meanwhile, his girlfriend who fucked off to the UK for 3 months suddenly calls him out of the blue – ON CAMERA WITH DARKENED MOOD LIGHTING.
There’s a nude dude who stands around all the bike meetings with no clothes on. He has the doughiest cankelsaurus maximus for a girlfriend, who also gets naked briefly. If she had a figure it wouldn’t be art.
They joust with those high bikes with firecrackers shooting out the front. They call it dangerous and living on the edge.
They are anti-materialistic (no word if mom and pop are paying the bills or not).
One guy goes home to his parents and discusses with them how the bike gang won’t let him join. The parents listen sympathetically. He’s at least 30 (they all are).
They use ridiculous names like “Japanther” (I forget the others and don’t feel like watching again).
They all live together in a commune and dumpster dive.
They think they’re changing the world and normal people just wouldn’t understand them.
I still haven’t gotten round to uploading it all on youtube.
Why don’t they just say “We’re on tall bikes. We’re better than you.”?
Leave it to dumbass hipsters to keep up the old idea that getting stoned off your ass will change the world for the better. By that insane troll logic, heroin must be even better for getting things done. At least the shirtless beardo shooting up seems at 2:10seems to think so.
Read some of the YouTube comments. So, it seems that according to one, the club started out as people who wanted to ride tall bikes. Then the attention whores swarmed all over it. Maybe that’s true but I see a lot of clique-ish junkies with loud mouths. Also, what fucking “rival gangs” are they talking about? Other hipsters on normal fixies? Certainly not any biker gangs.
I never really cared much for real biker gangs. Until now. Now they look very classy and cool and mature. And clean.
Who doesn’t have the immediate urge to push one of those tallbikes over and watch a hipster domino effect?
or wait until they hit the overpass bridge and shove them over the rail
Where’s a drive-by shooting when you need one?
Just one slight turn of the wheel and…. BUMP
All we can hope for is an uptick in hipster deaths which they bring to themselves as they ignore the laws of physics and the work of engineers since the penny fucking farthing, one of THE most dangerous modes of transport ever invented.
massive try-hard, posing dickwad here….please feel free to slip a stick in the spokes
as they pass… ( BTW dickwad, oasismyass )
They say they hate being id’d as hipsters and so deny it at all costs. Well ‘tards, if you make it on to this site, consider yourself officially outed.
Dija notice all the normal people giving that retard “the look?” Imbecile, bikes today look the way they do for a reason. Some wet cobblestones, loose gravel, or a diesel slick on the road would be entertaining. And don’t bother wearing a helmet – that just makes you an organ donor after you become an ironic road pizza.
I think a semi with a sleepy driver on the road next to this thing would be even more entertaining. For irony’s sake, I hope it’s a truckload of Gray Poupon headed to the nearest Walmart.
I’d bet you $20 that this reinacting asshat hasn’t noticed what happens to his knee joints as he peddles the bike of douchebaggery. Hardwon lessons and improvements in human history aren’t worthy of actual respect by these idiots. It’s all just symbols and toys of ‘irony’ in their peebrains.
Even the disregard for mediocre video editing with asshat #2(the iPhoneographer) saying,”We’re rolling” and leaving it in.
What is it with these people that they have to post credits on every video they shit out on youtube? Oh wait a minute, it’s “art!” So help me if I am driving along side one of these its going to take all my will not to swerve into their “lane” and make someone in Horsecolicbend, Nebraska weep.
It’s not just that it’s “art”. I’ve actually heard this over and over, where the idea is to include full credits, including contact information, just in case someone sees this and decides “Oh, man, my production is going to blow up unless I hire Josh Nasalroy to be an assistant lighting operator!”
I was hoping the guy in the GMC truck would stick a broom handle out the window and ram it in the guy’s front wheel.
The Drasine or “Dandy Horse” proto-bike (Germany, 1818) looks easier to ride than the Penny-Farthing. I wonder why the step backwards in development?
Oh, no pedals…
As if this vid can’t get any worse….ugh..he compares his fanny farting bike to a skateboard…nowhere in his descriptions or self-important evangelizing does he state, specifically, how it’s like a skateboard…
it’s BIKE…how is a BIKE like a skateboard? Wow, he must’ve been a real dream for his English teachers senselessly trying to teach him the basis of Compare and Contrast. Does having said the word ‘skateboard’ suddenly make him ‘deck’? ( sorry, couldn’t resist that one ).
Is he the Tony Hawk of penny farthing’s now? ROFL!! Does he have street cred and urban edginess?
Other than wheels and a tendency towards broken bones, neither item is ‘like’ the other. He would’ve been better off saying it’s ‘like’ a scooter except he probably unconsciously knows that ‘scooter’ sounds about as cool as admitting to a bobby pin collection.
After watching that self-indulgent wankery, I want to force-feed that idiot his mustache. There’s nothing beautiful about that horrible bike. It’s a lousy, dangerous, unwieldy lump of metal, and only some idiot trying to one-up his dumbshit friends in old-timey bullshit would buy this fucking thing. And did anyone else notice the modern seat and pedals?
They had a beardo hipster on a recent episode of Pawn Stars trying to sell his penny-farthing. The old man exposed the bike as a recently-made fraud and made the creep look like a complete moron. It was great!
Somebody should take his seat. I wonder if he’d notice?
Thanks for ruining Vancouver you old-timey saloon/brakesman/bare-knuckle boxer wanna-be try-hard f*ck. Gonna stick a pool cue in wheel and launch you into the harbour
OHHH NOOOO,down the block from me
I think I’m going to start carrying my cane from when I had knee surgery on a regular basis just to start sticking it into the spokes of bikes.
The f8cksticks are starting to show in the ‘burbs. I guess they’re not getting enough attention in Philly so they’ve managed to come across the river and annoy the living shite out of us.
My wife and I saw a couple of them at the local shopping center where a big cycling club gets meets for their rides every week. There was some finger pointing and very loud arguing until the hipsters rode off while flashing the bird at the cyclists.
Watching some cyclists on modern bikes hawk them would make for a funny video.
Great idea! And when they’re splayed on the ground hold the cane over their surprised eyes and tell them how your cane more useful than they are and stills serves a better purpose, is imminently more practical than a pompous farthing, and also happens to serve as a great weapon which just so happens to have been one of its intended purposes LOL
Check out how those fucktards are hogging the whole road.
Wow, if someone pulled this in Tampa they’d get run over on live webcam, and the cops would laugh at them.
Is there ANY place in the 5 boroughs that hipsters havent been sighted?
I know as I ride the Q53 down Woodhaven blvd in the summer to rockaway beach you can see hipsters the entire route riding their bikes from Faglyn errr Brooklyn.
I hope they attacked by some geese…
LOL Now THAT would be a solid video!
LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
‘When a professional Italian cycling team comes to town for a racing event, Dave is thrilled to be competing with them. However, the Italians become irked when Dave is able to keep up with and even speak to them in Italian during the race. One of them jams a bike pump in Dave’s wheel, causing him to crash, which leaves him disillusioned and depressed.’
Time for a ‘Breaking Away’ reenactment here, wouldn’t you say?
http://vimeo.com/15351309
something for the rest of us
http://youtu.be/ZPld5BGdLvU
A modest proposal by Chuck Woolery involving the Mexican Fence and the hipsters that jumped onto the Occupy the band wagon. Not even two minutes of your time. Hear him out. I think you folks might like it.
We have these Attention Bike Whores in Boston, too…Fucking muppets.
The Park Slope twatrags who want to ban the icecream vendors because they can’t control their brats now want to shut out Hooters from the Nets stadium area.
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/brooklyn/bounced-brooklyn-folks-nets-home-bra-humbug-hooters-article-1.1070240
In addition, the Brooklyn section has a two page spread on the celeb takeover of Brownstone Brooklyn. I was very impressed by it as you can imagine. “Ironically” it brings to mind the old TIME magazine article “Whatever Happened To Brooklyn” that cracked wise about past celebrities being congratulated for being “from Brooklyn” (really from, unlike today). If you’ve never read it, put the article’s title into your search engine. It is only one page long and worth the read.
I was also very impressed by “Fake Brooklynite Killer”‘s recent commentaries on an earlier subject. I don’t believe he is really Dutch. He cannot be from the same stock that produced the Roosevelts. He must have meant to say that he is a Douche but like all of his kind did not know how to spell that word correctly. Shame on the Dogfelcher Falls Board of Education.
I can’t help but think that “Fake Brooklynite Killer” is most likely Steve Lam or another hipster who has a bone to pick with DH.
I’m figuring that it’s Stevie. Continuing to drop the same references, over and over again, throughout every every comment is his MO. He reminds me of one of those not-so-bright kids in every third grade class, who learns a new putdown from the older kids and can’t stop repeating it. Just look at it as Stevie’s version of “chicken butt” and leave it at that.
“Save Park Slope”? Too fucking late. Bet the real neighborhood joints got pushed out for yupster troughs. Same fuckers who feel they’re too good for Mister Softee..
Let’s see:
Ugly waitresses – check.
Bad food – check.
Bad beer – check.
Heather McMaster, 35, agreed that the curvy waitresses will bring too much debauchery to the family-oriented neighborhood.
“It doesn’t surprise me that businesses like Hooters are coming along with the stadium,” she said.
But, she said, the restaurant would never attract customers because it’s a “misogynistic, sexist outfit and nobody from the neighborhood will go.”
Let me guess, Heather McMaster looks like a slug and wears a fatkini with her wool hat in the summer. Bet she’s still an intern too.
Appropos of nothing, it appears NYPD has closed off the Williamsburg Bridge. Guess our little friends were trying to re-invade Manhattan for a second Occupy party. And they were probably the exact same people as last year
Was watching early this morning and the reporters were all over the “rally points” and no one showed. All I could think of was their parents hadn’t given them their wake up calls yet and it was raining. Sure enough around 12-1 when it cleared up they all started making their way from Occupy Bushwick and Williamsburgh. Tools…
I always laugh when I read a “rice krispies and Sunny D” comment on here. I always thought it was just an exaggeration (and funny one at that). I guess I was wrong – here some parentally funded douches sipped on some Capri Suns before throwing a tantrum in the street. YAY!
http://sfist.com/2012/05/01/protesters_trash_valencia_street_businesses_mission_police_station_in_early_may_day_demonstration.php#photo-1
It’s ironic that the yupsters are being protested by their neighbors’ kids.
I hope the handyman in the article was able to get the crowbar away from the little asswipe and beat the piss out of him with it. Pussies…
You said it. Fucktard Anarchists thought this was their city to begin with? San Francisco has been diverse for a long time. Also, I don’t see Castro getting purged of any gays any time soon so what the fuck are they talking about? Gays here in SF like the stuff the little punkass turds smash for the most part.
I think OWS would probably mention the black bloc tactics the police used in Canada and in some other city here in our country, where they dress like black blocs but are actually cops who start breaking windows ( and incite the real black blocs to take it up a notch too ), and then run back behind police lines when shtf. I’d hardly believe it myself were it not for the many videos of this particular police tactic being used commonly now at most protests.
I wish neither side would do this. It makes busting the right heads that much harder.
I ran into a crew of these idiots–maybe even the same ones?–down at Fort Tilden last summer.
I took a trip down to the Fort thinking it hadn’t changed since my father and I used to visit it as a kid. Imagine my shock and disgust to find it CHOCK-FUCKING-FULL of gross inbred Joshes in ratty paisley swimsuits along with their fishnet-stocking-tattooed (you read that right) girlfriends.
Absolutely neauseating. They make me want to vomit all over their crusty facial hair
I can’t stop reading this site because it’s like watching a train wreck…only difference is that I care about the victims inside of the train wreck ha ha ha