I just wanted to post some recent fan mail and thank everyone that sends in links and tips whether I use them or not. Keep sending them in because since I can’t long board from cafe to bar to art gallery in my pseudo-rock star attire from 9-5 all week long, or sit in a loft full of Mac computers and filthy looking interns, there is no way I could do the necessary research needed to fill these pages with ridiculous articles and stories of these attention-starved, spatula-physiqued, Brooklyn-ruining staycationers. Enjoy.
I’m a 46 year-old Brooklynite living in exile. I fell off the monkey bars in Carroll Park, had my first beer at Farrell’s, fished from the back of Korvette’s and used to sneak into every movie at the Marboro from the fire exit. Your site made me howl. Great job! Thanks.
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Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.
Where have you been all my life!???
I scream about hipsters pretty much everyday and am glad that I now have an outlet for it other than some sad sacks on the street who think I am bat shit crazy (but know I am right).
As a hard working City employee (haha) I now have a more productive way to spend my work days. I am a native Bay Ridge girl so while I am not as gangsta as some other bitches I can hold my own and will glady fight a hipster any day anytime.
Thank you again for making fun of this human plague.
Also, the map with the line across is it brilliant.
Amazing.
Thanks!
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Just read your post about park Slope douchebags and I am instant fan. Keep up the excellent writing.
Fellow blogger
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Thank you for your blog. It may be the first blog that I actually end up returning to because, in the past, I have found blogs to be a self centered exercise practiced mainly by hipsters.
I am with you.
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This afternoon I was riding my bike in Bay Ridge on the promenade and found a hipster between the bridge and 92nd street with filthy hair in a ponytail and a lame beard with a sissy hipster bike that my Chevy Suburban of a bike could crush. There were also some possible hipsters on the Veterans pier. They were shivering their tails off, yes Megan and Josh when you are by the water there will be a slight breeze.
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I discovered your site only a few days ago and haven’t been able to stop reading it. Your observations are so incredibly spot on that I feel they belong in a textbook of some sort.
I travel quite a bit and have been subjected to hipsters of every manner.
When I lived in Halifax years ago I went on a few dates with a girl enrolled in the local art school. I was much younger and a bit naive, so by art school I figured it was a college where people learned how to paint portraits or make clothes. Fuck it, I don’t know what I was thinking, she was hot. She invited me to a dance at her college one weekend. Hoping to impress I wore my nicest clothes and a blazer. When I entered the first thing I saw was two guys in speedos, suspenders, and hard hats humping a pinata to the tune of music I can only describe as of alien origin.
For our second date she took me to a gallery to see some MFA thesis’. The first display was alright, ceramics and what not, stuff I could possibly see being put to some sort of practical use. We moved to the second display in the adjacent room. It was an empty room, but there were people standing around… they seemed excited, they were taking pictures. I figured that the display hadn’t been set up yet and left. Apparently, the empty room WAS the art thesis. Fuck sakes. This asshole got his Masters for literally doing nothing.
Lastly, I stopped by her place one evening. She was stressed because she was trying to finish her final project, which was due that night and which she hadn’t started yet. She decided to cut up ping-pong balls and hang them by thread in her classroom. She got an A plus.
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Hey,
Just wanted to show some support and say thanks for a great website. I make sure to check it out a few times a week and a lot of the material is fuckin hilarious, but sadly its also true as this shit is making its way down to South Brooklyn. Anyway, I hope you can get some kind of t-shirt thing going so we can make a statement and show these POS’s that they’re not welcome here.
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diehipster–who are you? your blog is incredible. hilarious!! i’ve
sent it to a bunch of friends, they absolutely love it. i just wanted
to say you are fabulous and keep it up!
a huge fan
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Dear die hipster,
I am an avid reader of your site. Born in Flatbush and lived most of my life in Midwood (All below the red line…which btw is being breached every day.) I do appreciate every thing you do in support of us who were born and raised in this beautiful place called Brooklyn; and against the whale guano that has slowly sludged its way all throughout the boro. I do not know who you are but i do consider you a brother in arms! In the words of the Motto for brooklyn : Eendraght Maeckt Maght (unity makes strength) Its the original motto from the dutch.
I am also a 46-year-old Broklynite living in exile (Philadelphia)! I saw Saturday Night Fever for the first time by sneaking in at the Marboro. I spent a ton of time near Korvettes as well. There was an arcade there, not to meantion the awesome bike/walking path that began there. To the 46-year-old above: I’m sure our paths crossed.
I recently looked up “hipster” at http://www.urbandictionary.com. The definition of “hipster” is by far the longest definition I’ve ever read there — which makes sense considering how grossly self-important these people are. You’ve got to read it to believe it. Here it is…
Hipsters are a subculture of men and women typically in their 20′s and 30′s that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter. The greatest concentrations of hipsters can be found living in the Williamsburg, Wicker Park, and Mission District neighborhoods of major cosmopolitan centers such as New York, Chicago, and San Francisco respectively. Although “hipsterism” is really a state of mind,it is also often intertwined with distinct fashion sensibilities. Hipsters reject the culturally-ignorant attitudes of mainstream consumers, and are often be seen wearing vintage and thrift store inspired fashions, tight-fitting jeans, old-school sneakers, and sometimes thick rimmed glasses. Both hipster men and women sport similar androgynous hair styles that include combinations of messy shag cuts and asymmetric side-swept bangs. Such styles are often associated with the work of creative stylists at urban salons, and are usually too “edgy” for the culturally-sheltered mainstream consumer. The “effortless cool” urban bohemian look of a hipster is exemplified in Urban Outfitters and American Apparel ads which cater towards the hipster demographic. Despite misconceptions based on their aesthetic tastes, hipsters tend to be well educated and often have liberal arts degrees, or degrees in maths and sciences, which also require certain creative analytical thinking abilities. Consequently many hipsters tend to have jobs in the music, art, and fashion industries. It is a myth that most hipsters are unemployed and live off of their parent’s trust funds.
Hipsters shun mainstream societal conventions that apply to dating preferences and traditional “rules” of physical attraction. It is part of the hipster central dogma not to be influenced by mainsream advertising and media, which tends to only promote ethnocentric ideals of beauty. The concepts of androgyny and feminism have influenced hipster culture, where hipster men are often as thin as the women they date. The muscular and athletic all-American male ideal is not seen as attractive by confident and culturally-empowered hipster women who instead view them as symbols of male oppression, sexism, and misogyny. Likewise, culturally-vapid sorority-type girls with fake blond hair, overly tanned skin, and “Britney Spears tube-tops” are not seen as attractive by cultured hipster males who instead see them as symbols of female insecurity, low self-esteem, and lack of cultural intelligence and independent thinking. Hipsters are also very racially open-minded, and the greatest number of interracial couples in any urban environment are typically found within the hipster subculture.
Although hipsters are technically conformists within their own subculture, in comparison to the much larger mainstream mass, they are pioneers and leaders of the latest cultural trends and ideals. For example, the surge of jeans made to look old and worn (i.e. “distressed”), that have become prevalent at stores such as The Gap, American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Hollister, were originally paraded by hipsters who shopped in thrift stores years before such clothing items were mass produced and sold to the mainstream consumer. The true irony here is that many of the detractors of hipster culture are in fact unknowingly following a path that hipsters have carved out years before them. This phenomena also applies to music as well, as many bands have become successful and known to mainstream audiences only because hipsters first found and listened to them as early-adopters of new culture. Once certain concepts of fashion and music have reached mainstream audiences, hipsters move on to something new and improved.
Because of the rise of various online photo-blog and social networking sites, insights into urban hipster culture is reaching sheltered suburban audiences at an exponential rate. Cultural “norms” have been deconstructed by hipster culture as a whole. Hipsterism is often dismissed as just an image thing by some, but the culture as a whole is effecting changes in society, leading to feelings of insecurity and resentment in people who are no longer a part of the cultural ruling class. For example, a lot of anti-hipster sentiment evidently comes from culturally-clueless suburban frat boy types who feel that the more sensitive, intelligent, and culturally aware hipster ideal threatens their insecure sense of masculinity. Anti-hipster sentiment often comes from people who simply can’t keep up with social change and are envious of those who can.
A conversation outside a hipster bar in downtown NYC:
Frat Boy #1: Dude, are you having any luck picking up chicks in there?
Frat Boy #2: Man…I haven’t experienced anything like this before. These chicks are totally rejecting me and going for all these hipster guys in tight pants and shaggy hair instead.
Frat Boy #1: Maybe we should head back up to that bar in Murry Hill where you hooked up with that drunk b*tch from Alpha Sigma Phi last week?
Frat Boy #2: Yeah…I don’t think we have what it takes to compete with these guys in here. These hipster chicks won’t even give us the time of the day!
That screed used to be posted on this site 500 times a day by this Gaysian Gaywad until we tracked him down.
Here’s my reply to him/her/it
PS, I have no beef with Asians, gays or gay Asians or anyone else. Just this one and his harem of sock puppets (Trey Parasuco, Keen Koala, ag guy, i might be the person you hate or whatever other retarded name he comes up with next).
They’re not intellectuals. They’re pseudo-intellectuals. They’re far too vapid and self-involved to be true pioneers in anything substantive. If they’re they avant garde of modern liberal thought, liberals are in more trouble than they know.
Also, that definition was clearly written by a hipster who was recently snubbed.
I like this bit: “The muscular and athletic all-American male ideal is not seen as attractive by confident and culturally-empowered hipster women who instead view them as symbols of male oppression, sexism, and misogyny.”
Translation: In my dreams, this is how I justify the fact that I never get pussy.
We need more Mast Brother’s Chocolate outlets.
I had 4 containers at Farrells last night. Best bud ever….
http://thecaptainpower.blogspot.com
Coldest beer in BK!!!
Freshest too! Best time to drink there is on Saturday afternoons, when Eddie Farrell (the guy who looks like Jimmy Johnson) is tending bar. He hates all hipsters and yuppies, and is the master of the stink-eye, especially when the beardos ask stupid questions.
Good to know people are in full support and opposition to this disgusting plague. Its not a clothing fad, it’s a new species of human. As you can clearly see, it sucks beyond belief. That thing TommyLeo posted is dead on true.
It’s people 28 years old and up that looked at tons of media and flocked to Brooklyn or whatever working class or industrial area in whatever city. Rich kids, privledged kids, suburbanites. It’s obvious why there’s so much appeal. Get attention. Flock with hundreds of other morons. Get to be a frail, dweeb, geek in a “big city”. It’s a lifestyle. It’s like summer camp 24-7 in Fantasy Land. I’ve been to 44 states out of 50 in the USA and shit is business as usual and placid almost everywhere.
Hipsters are a biproduct of many many years of pop culture and media assualt on the senses. Everyone wants to shine and boast. LOOOOK AT MEEEEEEEE!!! is the theme of day mixed in with irony. We all know in prior decades these clowns would have gotten mauled every 20 minutes. A bizarre phenomenon in sociology.
That being said…DIE HIPSTER shirts and stickers are needed!! I’ll design them and send in the files. I’ve got print connects. Let’s all chip in and do this. Sell them for cost.
I’ve been saying I’d rock a Die Hipster t-shirt for ages now!
You should make snapbacks too…:)
I would definitely buy a few myself as would my sons friends. They (real brooklyn 20 somethings) got into it on the F train this week. Some obnoxious beardos and company with their over sized backpacks and disgusting clothing were all doing their “look at meeeeee” schtick while banging into everyone around them. My son after getting stepped on or slapped with the backpack for the 3rd time finally went off on them saying “Dude take your smelly asses back to where you came from you are assaulting my senses with you stupidity and your B.O. At least the Dead Heads would slap some Patchoulli oil on you Nasty Bitches” this was told to me by his friends i’m so sad I missed it. It was a proud Mama moment indeed! *wipes tear*
you know the hipsters would instantly turn it into their latest ironic trend.
Baulderdash. Hipsters themselves are in complete denial that the word, the trend or even the thought of this elusive “hipster” even exists.
If they wore the T-shirt with it, it would indeed verify that there is such thing as a hipster.
The greatest trick of the hipster was making others believe that the hipster doesnt exist.
>>>”The greatest trick of the hipster was making others believe that the hipster doesnt exist.”
But only in his own mind. After all, hipsters are the anti- Keyser Soze.
“When I entered the first thing I saw was two guys in speedos, suspenders, and hard hats humping a pinata to the tune of music I can only describe as of alien origin.”
Dieter’s Dream?
I love this site b…seriously. Bravo
But I was waiting to make this comment. Someone on here (I forget their screen handle) said that hipsters wish that they could live that lifestyle of living in the burbs, driving the kids to soccer practice and school, and all that. I personally think that’s the lifestlye they have ever so tried to get away from. Why? Because that’s where they came from.
Behind the hipster modus operandi is one clear cut factor…SELF-HATRED.
They hate that they grew up in the suburbs…the boring scenery, the lack of diversity, the endless backdrop of strip malls, shopping malls, fast food places, and churches. They hate the people that they were considered growing up from grade school all the way to high school. They hate that all the people that they WISH they were (famous authors, musicians, artists, etc.) all had interesting stories and grew up in times and places that had more personality and flavor than anything they ever grew up around.
So, what do they do? They all end up making an exodus from whatever boring shithole flyover state they came from and invade major cities all around the world (I would of said America solely if this wasn’t a global phenomenon) to try to reinvent themselves in an image of urban cool and sophistication. Where they can be the heroes and heroines (cause no one else matters in their minds other than them), where they can be the cool people that others look up to (when actually most people looked down on them before), where they can be the sole co-opters and presenters of culture and all things “subversive” (when actually they aren’t doing anything new in the least and none of their ideas are original or “subversive”) Infact, by trying to co-opt (or blatently steal) “subversive” culture, they turn it into the opposite…giving cues to the cool-hunters and trend finders of the world so that the same things they bought to set them apart are now mass produced and sold back to that demographic (and the “squares” they hate) en masse. I saw a fucking Wu-Tang t-shirt in the GAP!!!!!! The GAP!!!! Without hipsters wearing this stuff ironically, this would of never happened.
The hipster claims to be anti-corporate, anti-mainstream, anti-whatever, yet they are the most easily marketed and pandered to demographic in HISTORY! Why? Because the hipster is not the product of a sub-culture or a culture…they are PRODUCTS themselves! Products of years of media exposure (television, radio, movies, books, etc), suburban rearing, higher education, and parental funding. They are nothing more than consumers. They make no social change, no moves, take no action, and change nothing. And if they do change things, it’s for the worse (higher rents, pushing long time residents out of their neighborhoods, etc)
They hide behind “progressivism”, “open-mindedness”, and “tolerance”, and claim to love diversity…when in actuality they’re actually the least tolerant and open-minded people out there. Period. Sure, they can keep an open mind…when you agree with them and their egocentric views. They love diversity…as background scenery like in a fucking movie. They claim to be politically aware and “progressive”, but when their food or money is messed with in any way they’ll run to the side that they argued against 5 minutes later.
All in all, the hipster is a worthless product of American culture and Western Civilization whatsoever. They are not to be loved…only loathed. And the sooner the hipster species dies off, the sooner anything real and progressive and take it’s place.
Oh and another thing…they have no street smarts or anything practical…so rather than learn how to fend for themselves, they’d rather have everything in the big cities they moved to changed to fit them. So, no matter what, although they move to these cities to get the “gritty. urban experience”…eventually they can’t handle it and go to what they know and will never escape…culdesacia.
Then they complain when they can’t afford to live in their hip “nabes” anymore…
Also…going back to what I was talking about in terms of self-hatred. Why, oh why, would person ever move to a city, live their for six years+ and then claim themselves as a native!?
Last time I checked, unless your parents/parents parents/etc were born and raised there, and they were born and raised there, and went to school there (kindergarten through high school)…you can never be a native.
Take me for example. I’m from Pittsburgh…born and raised. I may not really enjoy it so much now…but I would never ever move somewhere and claim to be a native of that city. I got love for the burgh…it bred me and raised me and I’ll always be a Pittsburgher. The only reason I would ever say otherwise is if I was somehow ashamed of an upringing that I couldn’t fight and had no control over. Plus, in my experience, people in cities like New York actually like hearing when someone comes from a smaller place and moved to that city to make a change in their lives. It shows that they had determination, worked hard, and knew what they wanted.
Someone saying they’re from “brooklyn” when they’re really from somewhere in South Dakota just reeks of self-hatred.
Damn this is so right I feel like you’re fucking reading my mind. Someone a while back mentioned the “real world” was/is a key catalyst in the conception/creation of the hipsters.
Here is the post. I think you might like it.
Jason L. March 25, 2011 at 3:31 pm
http://diehipster.wordpress.com/2011/03/24/im-convinced-theyre-aliens/
That comment was soooooooooooooo dead on it’s not even funny!
I think that was me… what I meant is these people leave their homey Midwestern towns and come to Brooklyn… only to turn Brooklyn into some Midwestern Main St. that’s even cornier than the original, except with tattoos, bad music and snotty attitudes. I think hipsters desperately want to believe in something, and they envy the conservative Christian types who are confident in their beliefs and identity, which is something hipsters definitely are not.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to become more cultured, but hipsters don’t have much idea of what real culture actually is, since they’ve been fed politically correct propaganda (express yourself, self-esteem, everyone’s point of view is equally valid, etc.) instead of getting a real education. I’m very thankful for my Latin classes at a Catholic school, which introduced me to the idea of a traditional, classical European culture that persists through the centuries. I know everyone’s tastes aren’t traditional, but it’s good to at least have some idea of what went before, if you want to be educated and cultured in the present. Most hipsters don’t even seem to be aware that such a thing exists — that, for example, people will still be listening to Mozart in 200 years after all their trendy bullshit is totally forgotten.
In response to TommyLeo’s posting of the ‘hipster’ definition. What a riot!
• Hipsters have ‘distinct fashion sensibilities & wearing vintage & thrift store inspired fashions’,
LOL I can hardly contain myself. These are the clothes that I donated to the Salvation Army!!!
• They ‘have degrees in maths and sciences, which also require certain creative analytical
thinking abilities. Consequently many hipsters tend to have jobs in the music, art, and fashion
industries’. Yep, certainly makes sense here – get a math degree and then get a job playing a kazoo in a bar!
• ‘It is a myth that most hipsters are unemployed and live off of their parent’s trust funds’. Hmmm, maybe they don’t live off their parent’s trust funds. There could be thousands of people in MisIdaHio who not knowing what to do with their children who don’t fit in anywhere & get beaten regularly at school, send them off to places like poor NY hoping they never return!
• ‘Hipsters shun mainstream societal conventions that apply to dating preferences and traditional “rules” of physical attraction’. Well, when you are ugly & have no social skills you would tend to go for anything that moves, right? (or, not necessarily still moving in their case). They identify each other by dressing in rubber boots & fur in 99 degree heat and flip flops in 10 degree weather. Does ‘he’ care if she has smelly foot fungus & rotting flesh? No. Does ‘she’ care if his body is like a flimsy sheet of soiled paper? No. Do we care? NO!
• Outside of this, the definition claims that they invented people wearing old jeans, created a phenomena in music, (where their friend Gasper plays in a bar on weekends) & that everyone pretty much wishes they were ugly and sickly too, especially some REAL men & women out there.
Thank you so much for the laugh!
I especially like the part where they’re “racially open-minded” and aren’t attracted to handsome men. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Apropos of nothing above, if you want to see how unoriginal hipsters are, it appears they all want to be their grandfathers – I give you the Kansas Beard Growing Contest of 1957:
http://www.retronaut.co/2011/09/beard-growing-contest-entrants-kansas-1957/
Nice find. Walk down the street of any major metro area and I’m sure you’ll see most of these styles on douchebag hipsters.
And I’ll bet every one of them had a job too.
Not as bloggers or baristas either.
Back then Olathe, now pretty much a suburb of Kansas City, was in the sticks, and aside from having a real job,many probably were real farmers, and equally probably most fought in WWII and/or Korea.
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/this_bus_drives_us_wild_IQ40kawhyw4ks4vkCZZpaJ
Two transplanter/hipster girls make some lame ass seat cushions for drivers…
“The bus, especially the M15, isn’t for tourists,” said Showman, 26, who lives in Turtle Bay. “It’s a little New York community that’s here all the time.”
The bus isnt for tourists? So what are they doing on it?
Here’s the hipsters backround.
http://sdccgraphicdesign.blogspot.com/2011/12/kathleen-fitzgerald-at-school-of-visual.html
“After graduating with a BA in Visual Arts from USD”
And here’s the punch line, from Kankleen’s blog:
“A favorite course of mine is Stefan Sagmeister’s ‘Can Design Touch Someone’s Heart?’ where we are assigned a specific target audience and have to create custom and, more importantly, appropriately designed products that become emotionally impacting.”
So all the supposed love that she shows to the unsuspecting bus drivers is really a class project for the graduate-level kindergarten that her parents (happily living on the other side of the country) enrolled her in. What a consummate self-centered bitch!