77 thoughts on “Brooklyn & Not Brooklyn

  1. These pussies wouldn’t be able to take the water pressure from a pump…it would snap their spines!

  2. Thanks, DH. That’s all I needed this morning- pictures whimscial, tattoed beef suet.
    Excuse me while I go pour battery acid into my eyes…

  3. Wow, we see some cankles.

    Some serious cankles !!!

  4. And the guy at the end, flip flops, short shorts, stupid beard.

    We have three indicators.

    • BROOKLYN =like
      NOT BROOKLYN =not like

      There is something seriously OFF with these hipsters. They ruined McCarren Park.

  5. “Hey you guys, listen up – let’s, like, not grow up ‘k? Let’s pretend to be, like, in Middle School forever, and we can have a big click that only, like, we are in. And we can do cool kid things, like water balloon toss and kickball. Isn’t that great?”

    The fuck outta here.

  6. If that last picture were taken in Portland I’d say it was a picture of finals week at Louis and Clark College…

  7. Probably the best “Brooklyn/Not Brooklyn” post, IMHO. Really sums it up perfectly… the adorable little girl just being herself, doing what comes naturally to little kids, and loving every minute of it… then you have the pasty-white fucking posers, pretending to have fun but trying really, really hard to look “cool” and “quirky,” and coming off as complete assholes.
    The first picture brought a smile to my face. The one below makes me roll my eyes.

    • And you know if this happened around a hipster they’d be on the phone demanding city hall do something to keep us natives from wasting water. The sad thing is they’d grant them their wish. These crybaby assholes have ruined everything.

      • EXACTLY. I’m usually the “live and let live” type… but seriously, these dipshits can’t allow anyone else to enjoy themselves without making sure we all acknowledge them as the center of the universe… trying to “enlighten” us to their whimsical ways.
        I’d love to see what would happen if some of the neighborhood kids got in on their balloon fight… like the time one of the guys on this board’s kids fucked up a bunch of hipsters playing paintball bwahahahaha

        • These are the shitheads who’ll call 311 or 911 when some kids are playing basketball in “their” playground or rap music at midday when they’re nursing their hangovers. Meanwhile, they keep the whole building awake with kazoolaphone rehearsals on their MacBooks at 3am.

  8. I’d bet any amount of money that these fucking gentrifying Megans and that pasty casper motherfucking Zachary jumped right on the L train after this while still wet, just so everyone could see – LOOOK AT MEEEEEE. North Brooklyn is their mediocre midwestern art school playground.

    The only thing that I’m thankful for is that my grandpa isn’t alive to see what is happening to Brooklyn – it would break his fucking heart.

    • If they really want to have a LOOK AT MEEEE! moment they should try jumping in front of the L train insted of on it. Will definitely get my attention.

  9. Alot of the other Brooklyn-not-Brooklyns, IMHO, were meh…

    This one is great, especially with the summer time rolling in. Great post, great post.

  10. Damn, those Megans keep getting fatter and fatter! The one on the left, YEESH! That Josh on the right looks like it’s his first day out of the psych ward. And these people are the leading edge of arts and culture???? GTFOH

    • They go on and on about organic, locally-sourced food and endless activities like riding bikes EVERYWHERE and kickball olympics in McCarren and yet they are either saggy sacks of pasty, doughy flesh wrapped in a granny dress or are all walking, bearded pipe cleaners that can barely stand, let alone function properly in society. None of these yupster parasites have any muscle tone. These are the most unhealthy fuckers I have every seen. I guess the adderall and heroin can’t counteract all those $15 Mast Brothers chocolate bars, rooftop breastmilk cheeses and ye olde microbrews that they slobber down their holes all day long.

      • They all look like they’re pretty heavily medicated. I’m not talking about just PBRs, pot, coke and Adderall either. I’ll bet there’s haldol, seroquel, and Zyprexa on board, too. Looks like some Creedmoor inpatients got to spend an afternoon outside. One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest comes to mind. Their parents must be so glad to be rid of them, even if they’re still paying for them. At least they’re out of the (cul de sac) house.

        Is this what they think is whimsical? Looking like a bunch of psych ward inpatients? Why are these people here!??!?!

        • This is the Wonderful Land of Oz for them…. and the rich NY politicians and developers are the man behind the curtain.

          • I saw a documentary last night about “Guilani Time”, how Guilani basically rounded up everything that he decided was a nuisance. Sounds like Brooklyn could use some Guilani Time.

          • Unfortunately “Giulani Time” was about clearing the space (displacing working class NYers) FOR these gentrifying bastards and marking up the retail value for places like Williamsburg, LES, and Hell’s Kitchen. The city WANTS these fuckers here and their parent’s money paying a 2000% mark-up on rents, as well as rich foreigners. FUCK Rudy Giuliani (Skeletor) & Bloomberg (The 12th richest person in the USA)… This is what they and their buddies want to happen.

          • I only half agree. While I, too, “blame” Giuliani for doing such a great job of cleaning up NYC that the city started to attract those who used to be scared shitless to even visit NYC to instead consider moving to NYC, there is no way that a guy like Giuliani wanted these hipster fools to move in. It’s just the Law of Unintended Consequences rearing its ugly head once again…

          • A few years back, a woman who was working in Albany posted about the redevelopment and gentrification plan of NYC. Giuliani was a big part of this. It’s one thing to remove squatters from LES to open up “affordable housing” (which never happened), but it’s another thing to displace long-term working class citizens with jacked-up rents for rich outsiders and turn Times Square into Disneyland to put more money into the pockets of the already rich.

          • My take is that the displacement of the Brooklyn working class was much more a result of the WAY lower crime rate than it was a conscious effort to gentrify. By making NYC so much safer, the demand to live in NYC increased dramatically. And with more demand, prices rise. Heck, even though a LOT more supply was added to the market, the demand to live in NYC increased so much that prices still rose.

            There is no way that Giuliani likes hipsters.

          • Oh, believe me, if there was enough money in it, Giuliani/Bloomberg would round up altar boys as prostitutes for the next NAMBLA convention in Madison Square Garden. Don’t kid yourself, if it smells of green, these guys are in it. Sure they would hate living next to them but they sure as hell don’t mind the rents coming in. Giuliani made himself a nice killing in real estate when he left. Why do you think he chased down the mobsters before he became mayor? To “clean up” the hoods for the white plague, that’s why.

            I don’t know where Giuliani lives now, but I’ll bet my bottom dollar it’s either in a gated community or a doorman building where the shitsters can’t bother him while he’s counting his “hard earned” cash.

  11. I like the one couple not paying them any attention. It’s like “eh, I walk through this park all the time I’m used to these assholes”.

  12. Are hipster girls really that ugly? I thought they were skinny (from all the coke) and with cool tattoos.

    • Jesus, I get by on being cute or okay, and even I look better than these chicks.

      And I’m wearing a Warcraft t-shirt and track pants to work today. *facepalm*

  13. What pasty canklesaurus skank fest… and that bearded, flip-flopping nasalbag on the end needs to just end it already. Thanks for raising my grandmother’s rent you fucking worthless, interloping, out-of-place retards.

  14. This is what – the grenade toss?

  15. I was very much struck by the pastiness of the people in the second photo. I had to put on sunglasses just to look at it. And then I wanted to vomit, because pasty, flabby skin makes me a little sick.

    • It’s Tai Chi for retards.

      G*ddammit….I remember when I got to stay home from school on a non-holiday, the only people you’d see around the ‘hood were store owners, delivery trucks, houswives and old ladies. The park was pretty much all old guys playing chess or bocci and very small children.

      Now you have 30 somethings vying with toddlers for the sandbox and swings.

    • The guy in the gym shorts – oh man….that’s just disturbing.

      • Hey Josh,

        You are a man, m’kay!
        Men shave their beards, m’kay!
        Women shave their legs, m’kay!
        You shoud shave your beard, not your legs, m’kay!

        Here, take some more Addreall, ye’all be fine, m’kay!

  16. It’s like all these whatever-they-ares just appeared out of nowhere.
    What are they? What are they doing here? How do they support their activities?
    Whole cities full of these things, exist now.
    Are they from outer space?

  17. Hands on hips guy in the back looks like he’s having a great fucking time. Smug retards.

  18. We’re having our first dodgeball tournament here this weekend. Posters are plastered all over town for it. Yaaay!

    • Where’s that?

      Dodgeball????? Isn’t that the game that these nasaltards were mortified throughout their school years? I guess when you’re IRONICALLY playing against other adult-children a ball thrown by some mouthbreathing human toiletbrush isn’t the same as some steroid-inflicted jock smashing a ball against your head… NOW they can play dodgeball on THEIR terms.

      • It’s here, in one of the hipster breeding grounds, Marquette, MI, at NMU. We have all of the ironic, ball-crushing-pants-wearing, skateboard-riding, giant-ironic-eyeglass-wearing hipsters in training. Just getting ready to venture forth and homestead in the frontier of Brooklyn.

        You’re welcome!

        • They can survive the cold up there? Let me guess, they ironically wear short shorts in the winter and wool from head to toe in the summer.

          • That would be correct. They think it’s cool to go around in shorts or pajama bottoms and flip-flops when there’s two feet of snow on the ground. And yes, they all wear wool caps in the summer. They think it’s really cool to wear the most outrageous ski caps (court jester, cow ears, or pig ears) in the winter. And they’re all officionados of the local craft beers. We have three micro breweries in a half mile radius here in town.

      • Dodgeball’s OK when you throw like a girl.

  19. Why would that fucking doughy monster in the grey dress with cankleitis and the Fred Flintstone feet want to bring attention to herself? Oh, that’s right, she’s a fucking yupster lemming who needs to follow what other wannabe-urban-parentally-funded-interlopers do to be quirky in their new zip code. DISGUSTING.

    • Being as unattractive as they are, maybe that will keep them from breeding?

      • NO… yuppies of the past did not breed because their self-absorbed life would stop with a baby in tow,,,,, but these new gentrifying fuckbags LOVE having babies as accessories, giving them whimsical names that will ensure future beatings and the pussification of our country. They will breed, Inbreed, because that is one more reason to have normal people look at them. Babies are as good as gold when you want people to LOOK AT YOU. Giving birth to these fucknecks has become such a narcissistic event… “art” projects are based around it, daddy-baby blogs are everywhere, inventing new “obscure” names, dressing them up in trending t-shirts, having their grandparents buy them the most expensive strollers and “Einstein” toys. These cul-de-sac-aliens will breed…. We are doomed.

  20. The 2-word solution: Piss Balloons.

    • Mommy and Daddy must have never driven a big truck (or even seen one turn a corner). You always have to swing wide to make a turn. Of course there would have been a lot of room between the truck and the curb, otherwise you’ll be up on the sidewalk and/or take out a traffic signal or power pole.

    • His lawyer is a liar looking for a paycheck. First of all, although the lawyer claims the opposite, there is NOT enough room to the right of that truck for another lane of traffic. The surveillance camera is using a very wide-angle lens, which expands the space between the camera and the stopped flat-bed truck. Stop the video at the :15 mark and tell me if you’d feel comfortable driving a car to the right of the SECOND stopped vehicle.

      Second, as “Gorlock Jones” posted, the lawyers claim that the truck “failed to make the turn as close as practicable to the right-hand curb” is nonsense. A truck that large HAS to make a wide turn!!!

      • Anyone, anyone who has ridden a motorcycle (or a bicycle) with half an ounce of sense knows that you never get between a vehicle and the curb when approaching an intersection – whether they are signalling or not. And you never get inside the blind spot. I’ve seen many motorcycle accidents (and come close to a few), and it is ALWAYS because they turned in front of you, or into you, or changed lanes. You keep your head on a swivel and are always looking 5 moves in advance.

        • As someone going for my motorcycle license, this is true. You stay in the middle lane behind a vehicle. You don’t go darting out in front of a truck. Hell I don’t even like driving in a car next to trucks, let alone riding a bike near one.

          • As a motorcyclist in NYC myself (err until I leave this fall) I would never assume someone will be driving straight. I wouldn’t even assume that in a car.

            Also, trucks have a nice sticker stating: “CAUTION Vehicle Makes WIDE Turns”

            I’ve seen this countless times on the back of a NYC Bus as well and those tend to turn better than a full on truck (I have a CDL).

          • Not to mention that despite what those lily white dipshits are stating, I’ve seen too many hipster cyclists acting like they own the road and zooming on through red lights, stop signs and pedestrian areas.

            That fucker gets no sympathy from me. We rode our bikes fine 10 years ago and traffic was just as ruthless.

          • Sorry, but he died because he was stupid. How hard is it to fall back and yield the right of way? His people want to sue and get paid. Ga Fuck Ya Self. End of story…

          • All I know is that it’ll come out of our wallets one way or another. Not just through the lawsuit but some stupid ass safety measure or new road closures to please these fucks.

      • Natural selection in action…

      • The whole article is a piece of shit work of agit-prop. You never try to pass a truck on the right on the side streets, even if you’re driving a car. It’s not even a good idea on a multi-lane highway. The lawyer is misrepsenting the section of VTL 1123 regarding passing on the right on a single lane road. That’s only allowed IF the other vehicle is stopped to make a left turn, otherwise it isn’t legal to pass a moving vehicle on the right on a single lane road. The lawyer is just grasping at straws here with this cheesy cut and paste intrepretation of the VTL.
        That video shows the truck starting to make the right turn as the bicyclist approached the intersection. Lefevre was trying to beath the truck through the intersection and lost.

  21. My favorite part about the “Not Brooklyn” photo is the background, where the actual Brooklynites (the dude in the $5 wife beater and jorts) are looking at these 30 year old toddlers like “What…the…FUCK…” and kind of look like they want to beat their asses. Classic.

  22. Its truly sad that the “Not Brooklyn” picture is rapidly becoming the new “Brooklyn” picture. The real Brooklyn is gone for the most part. Its really a sad thing. Eventually none of us will be left.

  23. I used that plastic red pail and yellow shovel to make sand castles at Manhattan Beach when I was a kid.

  24. look at homeboy’s tiny lil red shorts…christ sakes man

  25. That’s the ugliest group of buttfuckers I ever saw in my life—and I look like a fatter version of Benny Hill. Oh, and that Yeti in the gray bathing suit from 1920 turned me completely gay for 20 minutes.

  26. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THESE PEOPLE?

    FUCKING ATTENTION SEEKING PIECES OF SHIT.

    I HAVE NOT BEEN IN A WATER BALLOON FIGHT SINCE I WAS IN THE 6TH GRADE.

    STUPID FUCKS.

  27. OK, maybe I’m blind, but is that an old lady in a white tube-top sundress behind the hipsters, posing in mock horror? What is that lady doing? Is that a lady? Are her boobs really that low? I don’t think a bra is happening. This picture is disturbing on so many levels.

  28. Hey Beardo, Richard Simmons wants his outfit back. These people are late 20s/early 30s…jeez, a decade and a half too late to be behaving like this.

    And the pin-up girl in white in the middle. Wow, I’ve never seen anyone adopt a pin-up girl style in a big city before! What a trailblazer…

    This is the fun you can get up to when your rent worries are nonexistent. Must be nice.

  29. I think that woman in the middle with the white dress is just a granny trying to get all her granny dresses back from 20 and 30 something year old female hipsters in Williamsburg.

  30. When it’s a rotten-hot day here in the Big Apple, and I see an open fire hydrant (and I’m not returning to work), I still stick my head under the cold wonderful water. I did it as a kid in Brooklyn, and I still do it (I’m pushing 50 now). And the only time ANYONE ever looked at me cross-eyed was when I did it in front of these “hipsters.” Little Puerto Rican kids and old Polish men would nod and smile (well, the kids shouted and laughed, but you get the idea), but they all got it: it’s HOT out, let’s cool down, stick your head under the hydrant water, it’s free. But the hiptards, jeez, the snarkilicious looks they gave me made me question what planet I was on. I guess being Too Cool for School also means an invisible air conditioner follows them around or something…

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