An e-mail from the creator of my DIE HIPSTER banner.

For over 5 years now I wondered if the person responsible for writing “Die Hipster” on the pole of a Lorimer St. station stop (which is what I use for my banner and found on Google Images) would ever find this site. Well, he has. I can’t prove it but his e-mail is way too sincere and convincing not to believe it. This is one of the best emails I’ve yet to receive; had me laughing. He refers to me in the plural form a couple of times thinking there is a team of people behind this site. I’ll have to email him to thank him and to let him know it’s a one man operation. After the email are a few of his illustrations he attached as well. What I love is how almost all the people have pipe cleaner limbs and in the 3rd picture - the guy with the “Look at Me” t-shirt, and the beardo with a bird sticking his head out of the beard. Enjoy!

Subject: AT LAST!

Wow man……..this is fucking beautiful bro. You have no idea how pleased I am that I found this site! Fuckin site RULES!!! Well done. Best of all is your choice of photo for your banner.
Believe it or not I’m the one responsible for that handiwork LOL….yes, back around 2002 or so (maybe earlier) I was fuming with what was happening to downtown Bklyn, most notably dreaded Williamsburg. The ironic jerkoff movement was getting large. It was multiplying rapidly. Why was everyone trying to be weird? Why the forced posing? All things stupid and gay are now cool? Where are all these assholes from? So I did a few deeds just to please myself and let these jerkoffs know someone wasn’t feeling the fraudulence. One thing I did was make homemade stickers on those free post office labels that said “FUCK WILLIAMSBURG” in bold letters. They’d get put on the L train line ads and most would get the “fuck” scribbled out or ripped down. The best moment was putting one up inside the L train on the high part facing the whole car (in the classic old L trains with the gray L on the front) much to the dismay of the hipsters heading to the city. I slapped it up and everyone gasped “OH MY GOD”…..I stormed out at 1st Avenue. It was great.

I realized I had to up the ante. So I got some of that acid etch stuff from some hoodlum buddies and wrote on that sign at Lorimer you have the photo of. I wanted these cornballs to feel the opposition. Many people asked why I hated these newjack fools. I simply said, “they’re all frauds faking the funk and on some peacock shit”. The worst part is they were latching on to things I’ve loved my whole life. Underground music, art, bikes, DJing, playing an instrument, etc. For every person that came to Bklyn to be creative and do something real, it seemed 3000 came to look like a reject, act ironic, pompous and snobbish, front that they were poor and be seen on the scene.  They wanted to tell the mega suckers back home that they lived in scary BROOKLYN… when in reality Bklyn was now a police state and more or less safer than ever. Streets patrolled by the cops to make the suckers safe! Protect the investors. That’s why they came in droves. They came to play dress up and have Halloween be everyday of the year. Hey fuckheads!!!! When EVERYONE is acting weird and different…NOTHING is weird and different!!! First the mesh hats and PBR ironic trucker nonsense…then the beard thing, which still reigns…then the weigh 80 pounds sissy man thing…. motherfuckers reading novels on the G train!!! Man that train was gully scandal in the 90′s! Dudes rock Sherlock Holmes gear and pipes now. Everyone looks at each other too like its a social meeting. Men wear fucking flipflops!!! On the streets of NYC!!!!! Insane! If that tried to jump off years earlier dudes would’ve gotten mauled. LOL imagine the Decepticons rolling into a subway car and seeing what you see now! Man I need to illustrate that shit! Ha!

Williamsburg is a wrap. Once a place to sit by the river and drink a beer or smoke some whatever….is now the festering mass of suckers and shitheads. It’s more yuppie now I guess. The waterfront shit is a reality. I used to think “never” when dudes said it was coming. I lived in Greenpoint for a bit in 1998 and it was drunks and Polish working class. It’s still semi hanging on, but Williamsburg is gross. Remember when the G and L trains were empty after like 8:00? Metropolitan station was practically abandoned dripping with slime! It was spooky. The cycle of low rent artist space…goes hipster and then Eurotrash and then yuppie. It happened in Soho and the Village. Same thing kinda.

Alright enough…..I’m preaching to the choir. OBVIOUSLY you dudes are on point, you got a whole site shitting on these assholes! It’s funny as hell to read too! I’m gonna spread the word. Like I said before, most of my spite and scorn for these clowns stems from the fact that they make cool things seem wack with their overkill, zero integrity posturing. It makes art, music and expression seem like a jerkoff scene. FUCK THAT. I’ve been drawing, painting and bugging to music since I was 3 years old and I was born in 1972. I went to fuckin art school. Years ago art weirdos were actual weirdos! They saw the world differently and made their own thing. Or they were blue collar human beings like myself. These fools are all jocks that bring nothing to the table. They suck shit and fiend for attention. I knew when I started seeing midwest chicks wearing gym shorts and tube socks on the once deserted L train that shit was changing for the worse. Chicken coops? Bike polo? Amish beards? Retro 80′s forever? Yoga mats? WTF! Now it’s in Bushwick hard too! It’s mindblowing. All we can do is hope it passes and shit on them repeatedly.

I could dog these losers all day, but I’ll wrap this up. I found your site Googling “bearded hipster” to make a joke thing to send somebody (who hates hipsters too). I’m mad late with it I know, but I’m not a internet surfing kingpin. I saw the “Die Hipsters” thing I wrote years ago and checked you guys out. The site fuckin rocks and I was laughing my ass off! I immediately wanted in somehow or to at least write and thank you. Regardless of the fact that art school, stickers, street art, drawing, painting, biking and rock music and whatever else have been molested by hipsters….I still love that stuff and do my thing. The real will always shine through. Hipsters will evaporate someday and until then I will most definitely shit on them often. So here’s some random anti hipster illustrations I’ve made over the past few years for you to post on the site or do what you please.

Keep up the good fight. My comrades!!!

 

 

77 thoughts on “An e-mail from the creator of my DIE HIPSTER banner.

  1. That dude rules.

  2. This made my day! :D

    • Yeah reading that email is great way to start off the morning. Loved those days when a hipster would be food for the first hustler that spotted him. The illustrations ate hilarious – and completely spot on. Hope he keeps tuning into the site, and would love to have him post.

      The gritty area/ artists come in for large loft space at cheap rent / hipsters follow once it’s considered cool and play make believe artist – timeline is dead on as well. This is probably why real artists and working class members of these neighborhoods hate these scene sucking hipsters more than anyone. When the artists first get there, the are taking up former commercial space not being used, and they become a legit part of that local area, spending their money in the local economy of bodegas, ethnic food storefronts, etc. Then the hipsters come in, with open checkbooks from daddy, and suck up all existing space, leading to everyone else getting priced out between rents and stores opened to appeal to hipsters – whole foods, specialty $6 coffee houses, artisanal, organic bullshit, Egg with their $15 pieces of toast, etc.

      Playtime is over Caleb, Harrison, and Parker. Iowa called – they miss their Cul de sac basement pussies, and the town bullies are out of beatdown practice.

      • “Then the hipsters come in, with open checkbooks from daddy, and suck up all existing space, leading to everyone else getting priced out between rents and stores opened to appeal to hipsters – whole foods, specialty $6 coffee houses, artisanal, organic bullshit, Egg with their $15 pieces of toast, etc.”

        This situation is also prevalent here in my country. Everyone swears by a certain coffeeshop that serves $7 a cup, they scribbling in their moleskines given by mommy, poking at their touchpads given by daddy and announcing to everyone online that they are organic vegan/raw foods writers/artists. They hole up in their apartment paid by a generous aunt in post-dated cheques and hope they become the next Carrie Bradshaw. Then they can’t even get a real job! When they do, they whine about it saying their jobs are cramping their “ART”. Ugh.

        • I guess the hipster pretenders are the same everywhere in the world. It isn’t too surprising to me after having the influx of Euro, bearded sticks stumbling around NYC the last few years looking for directions to SoHo, LES, and Tribeca. They are completely transparent – all they want to do is walk around in these neighborhoods that are ‘supposed to be cool’, and take photos of themselves next to graffiti so they can show how they were ‘down’ during their parentally funded staycation. I always pray that they end up getting mugged, and jump on a plane to get back home, never to return.

  3. I feel like an amateur when I read his email, and I remember getting mugged at the White Castle on Bushwick Ave. at like 10 pm back in the day when the L was empty after 8 pm.

    • I remember getting robbed of my beeper when I was 16 on knickerbocker ave in bushwick. Now its hipsters. Sigh.

      This made my day. He put it so eloquently that I can’t compete.

  4. This guys email is so perfect… its def him.

  5. “Most of my spite and scorn for these clowns stems from the fact that” THEY ARE ADULTS SEEKING OUT ATTENTION BY DOING THINGS THAT I WAS DOING WHEN I WAS IN THE 2ND GRADE!!!!!

    KICKBALL? BEEN THERE DONE THAT

    SUBWAY TUNNEL EXPLORING? BEEN THERE DONE THAT

    SNOWBALL FIGHTING? BEEN THERE DONE THAT

    WEARING NO PANTS WHILE RIDING ON THE SUBWAY? BEEN THERE DONE THAT

    PILLOW FIGHTING IN THE MIDDLE OF A CITY STREET? BEEN THERE DONE THAT

    NOT ONLY WAS I A CHILD WHEN I WAS DOING THE ABOVE THINGS BUT I WAS ALSO LIVING WITH MY PARENTS AT THE TIME SO MY RENT WAS ZERO DOLLARS A MONTH.

    NOW THESE MOTHERFUCKERS ON THE OTHER HAND THEY ARE ALL ADULTS AND THEY ARE PAYING THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN INFLATED RENTS EACH MONTH JUST SO THEY CAN DO THE EXACT SAME THINGS I WAS DOING WHEN I WAS 7 YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!!!

    FUCKING ATTENTION SEEKING PIECES OF SHIT!!!!!!!!

    ALL OF YOU SHOULD REALLY BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES!!!!!!

    • Amen, except their parents asre the ones paying thousands of dollars a month.

      Loved the drawings. Great email.

    • LOLOLOLLLL pillow fights in the street!!!! I actually seen that shit! I was baffled. Get real you fuckin jerkoffs. How about the dicks with 12 foot tall welded together bikes?? They have biker style vests of course to look DECADENT. I saw a documentary on them (it was gayer than Richard Simmons too) and they pilgrimaged here from the midwest. Shocker, I know. In the film they trooped out to some bike polo RALLY and were driving a new VOLVO. So much for being gutter and struggling.

      But dig this….you’ll appreciate this tidbit…my man that owns Indian Larry told me the real deal Hell’s Angels stepped to the bike geeks clubhouse and said “alright check it out…your vests are too similar to ours so you either drop them or we come back and stomp you into pizza sauce”. The midwest pseudo squater bike fags wisely chose a new look.

      LOLOLOLLLLLLLL

  6. He is very talented! Glad you two finally “met.”

  7. LOL at “OHIO STATE” and all the Linguini Legs in those drawings.

    I’ve also got to co-sign JAZ comment that reading dude’s e-mail is a great way to start the day.

  8. Spot on post! The passion in his writing is breathtaking…

  9. Truly a refreshing read. So true about the way hipsters have taught people to have contempt for art and artists. Love the cartoons!

  10. Awesome letter. I feel like I’m in the same boat.

    The difference between artists and hipsters:

    With artists, it is, of course, all about the art itself and what one creates. It is one of the few things in the world where “doing it for the sake of itself” isn’t bullshit. (As well with other mediums like music, dance, etc.).

    With hipsters, it’s not about what is produced, but the attention it (or more accurately, the creator himself) gathers. It’s spectacle over substance.

    Artists’ and hipsters’ habits may overlap, but the hipster always betrays his front with cliches, banalities, wink-wink kitchiness and most of all, beneath the surface, emptiness.

    • This is spot on.

    • A good synonym for hipster is ‘scenester.’ The hipster only wants to be involved the the scene, but not be responsible for what *creates* scenes.

      Hipsters crowd around artists, but are not artists themselves. They wish to be seen as artists, and so put on affectations and try to hang with the right crowds and wear the right things and say the right things, but they don’t contribute or create. In doing what they do, they squeeze the actual artists to death if not starve them outright.

      A true artist transcends culture. A hipster is as staunchly counter-culture as a bro is staunchly culture. The artist thinks, the hipster does not.

      • Very true. I’ve been doing art and music for years, and almost two decades ago actual artists were calling them “art fags” and musicians were calling them “trendies.” Oh, and they were always the first to ask about getting on a guest list. Some things don’t change.

        Personally, I think “culture vulture” is the most accurate description.

  11. The bottom line the “hipsters” are the current form of the bohemene. And if you look through history the bohemian, the artist, the intellectual, & the purveyors of “alternative-indie-culture” have always been scorned. The only differerence this time that is that instead of being impoverished, the current form are the agents of gentrification, they come from monetary backgrounds, and unfortunately they are not exactly economic generators themselves but consumers.

    • yeah, but hipsters are none of those things. They just think they are.

    • There’s a marked difference between intellectual and faux-intellectual. Wearing a turtleneck and smoking gauloises doesn’t makes you smart.

      Why did Ayn Rand, a short dark-haired woman with no accolades, invent John Galt, a blonde Adonis who solves everything on his own? To insinuate herself into the New York intellectual scene. She was laughed right back out of it. That her legacy is to have influenced a bunch of college sophomore chucklefucks to think they’re special is all the more damning.

      • Are you implying that hipsters are fans of Ayn Rand? Because I generally find that to be the opposite of the truth.

        • I’m saying they always seem to go through an Ayn Rand phase. Somehow, that bit about how “my selfishness is good for everyone” just speaks to their souls…

        • You’d be amazed. They may make noises about sharing, but it’s all about how “you need to learn to share.” The moment they’re expected to share anything real, other than kazoolaphone lessons or costuming tips, it’s amazing how they revert right back to their nursery school days. Sadly, they didn’t get enough warnings along the lines of “Schnookums Junior, I don’t care if your Mommy and Daddy told you that you’re the literal center of the universe. If you don’t stop hogging all of the toys and telling the other kids that the playground is yours, I’m going to hogtie you like a calf and toss you in the broom closet for a few hours.”

  12. no shortage of glasses, scarfs and hats. Really nice work. I would love to see more of it. I have not seen anyone sporting the Sherlock Holmes look yet but this guy seems to have his pulse on the heartbeat so I except everyone to be copying that look soon. Please post more!

    • The Tweed Bicycle ride. They’ve been dressing like Holmes for a few years now. Assholes. I did a post on it a long time ago.

      • And they’re all over. My wife did a jewelry show last year where one plecostomus-chin goofball in full tweeds pranced up to her booth and proceeded to tell her “You need to put more gears on your work.” When she explained that (a) she did her own work and (b) the “put some gears on it and call it steampunk” look wasn’t her style, he proceeded to insist, like he was explaining to a slow child, “You need to put more gears on it” before skipping off. He wouldn’t have bought any if she’d had any: he just wanted to be able to tell everyone that he’d been the force that made any number of jewelers move to tweeds and gears…just before he quit it “because it’s getting too commercial”.

  13. I used to work with a Meagan that was just the way he described — smug, ugly as f@ck-all, pretentious asshat… the funniest was when she’d pretend she grew up poor, then turn around and ask Daddy for $$$ to help pay her STUDIO rent. I don’t mean “studio” as in “studio apt,” I mean her ART studio. WTF??? You’re so poor but you can — sorry, I mean, Daddy can — afford an art studio!?!? Every so often she’d bring in pictures to show everyone of her “paintings” — the kind of sh!t you see in a kindergarten class… everyone else in our department would just mutter, “mmm… how nice.” Then one of my favorite moments came when one day, work was slow so I started doodling on some paper while I was waiting for a job to come in, and people kept stopping by when they saw what I’d done, & say, “Holy shit! You DREW that!? Just now? Seriously? What are you doing here — why aren’t you selling your work?” I thanked them, but I didn’t feel like telling them that in the grand scheme of things, unless you’re really willing to take serious financial risks, a 9-to-5 is much more secure… I was too busy enjoying the butthurt look on Megan’s face from being ignored and overlooked.
    Don’t get me wrong, I admire the spirit and fearlessness of true artists who are willing to risk everything on their dreams, but the way I see it, 1.) real artists are too busy creating and producing to be snide and condescending to the public at large (unlike my hipster Megan co-worker), and 2.) they usually have, you know, actual talent.

  14. p.s. DieHipster,
    I don”t wanna tell you how to run your site, but I seriously think you should get some regular guest contributors. Maybe get this guy to do a cartoon of the day, Pat I could do a Story of the Day, and Lady J could do song parodies. In addition to the Hipster Beatings, Fishing for Hipsters and Missed Connections, of course…
    Just a thought…

    • Hear hear.

    • Unfortunately, I don’t have time – due to work and life matters – to do all that on a daily basis; unlike thousands of “creative type” transient fucks who have full time cupcake, dog shit, and ‘look at me’ blogs yet pay $2000 monthly rents. But I don’t mind people sending in stuff once in a while for posting.

      • I’ll send you a few drawings now and then and post what you want. Everyday is too nutty, but every other week or something is no problem. I’m open to suggestions also. Abusing shitheads with cartoon drawings is my specialty. I drew pictures of wack classmates and teachers from kindergarten to college to co-workers….why stop now?

        Stay tuned.

        • Sounds good. I’m thinking something along the lines of beards, banjos and canoeing down the toxic gowanus canal during normal working hours.

        • On Wendsdays the Brooklyn Paper website shows the crime report, referred to around here as the iStole report. Hipsters getting their iCrap stolen has always been a favorite topic of mine. Of course there is always self-entittled cyclists breaking the law.

          • I particularly like railing against the self-entitled beardo earbud-wearing fixed gear rider fuckwads that love to wobble out into intersections in front of cars and trucks while ignoring traffic signals. Then there’s their stupid artisinal free range lovingly curated organic blahblahblah at Brooklyn Flea, their craptacular performance art, oh hell, I just hate EVERYTHING about them…and their shitty artartart art http://www.villagevoice.com/photoGallery/index/3385896/0/art

          • Worse yet, check out PS1-MOMA in Long Island City, which used to be truly provocative. I was invited to its godawful 2011 spring show which mainly consisted of “video installations” made by hipsters. Tedious, self-indulgent, unimaginative, just plain boring. They’re killing art. I used to be a member of PS1 but not any more.

  15. “the 80s” lmfao

  16. Thanks for posting my letter and my drawings. I’m glad people are digging them. Very surreal to have found this site how I did and to see so many like minded folks venting. Love it!

    The best site on the web hands down. Very pleased I stumbled upon it. Fun to read. Everything is 100% accurate and painfully true. Impressive that it’s a one man operation! A man after my own heart. Good to know Bklyn isn’t completely shot from the wave of wackness. I always wondered why more people weren’t retaliating. Friends of mine out on Kings Highway or Sheepshead didn’t fully understand what I was talking about for years. Other’s I knew in Bushwick that grew up there, I think may have robbed a few jerkoffs LOL….Knickerbocker still has that vibe, despite the George Orwell hovering NYPD camera globes that grill the block. Crazy times are upon us people!

    Anyways……like I said before, it’s very, very, very cool this site exists and to know others are fed the fuck up. So bananas that something I wrote on a pole 10+ years ago totally vexed would lead to this. Glad to be on board!

    ~ ST. SAVAGE

    • Welcome aboard brother!

    • They’re trying to infest my hood (Kensington) – even tried to rechristen it “K-Town” but it didn’t take. Every once in a while one or two wander into our local dive (Denny’s), no doubt to wallow in its non-ironic 70′s decor, but they don’t last. Best of all is the snarky reviews they write about the joint on Yelp. They’re entertaining until they start to move in…

  17. I’m glad that I came across this place. I’ve had it with the hipsters. They smell, they’re obnoxious, and they think that they’re “hard core” because they live in a studio apartment that they pay 2k a month for in Brooklyn. I’ve given up here in “hipsterville” Staten Island here I come.

  18. HIPSTERS HAVE COMMERCIALIZED BEING A WEIRDO

  19. I think we should get together and start a business. Start with simple ads maybe a website
    Here’s what you’d sell:
    ALL NATURAL FERTILLIZER !!!
    We create an all natural ferillizer from our own patented formula.
    Our 100% sustainable compost is great for an urban farmer filled with material that is naturally processed ready for your roof top farm! For just $30 you can have it all. Just remove it from our 100% recycled paper bag and spread it through your garden with ease! Our cruelty free range product can arrive at your door in just days. Order now and get a sample of our own blend of mustache wax free!!!

    Then just shit in a brown paper bag and mail it to them.

    Thank you guys for all the great times keep it up

  20. Totally unrelated but another city is officially suckling at the bike sharing teet:
    http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/ct-met-bike-sharing-plan-0314-20120314,0,6302820.story

    “Alta Bicycle Share and Public Bike System Co. operate bike-share systems in London, Melbourne, Boston, Minneapolis, Washington, Montreal, Toronto and Ottawa. The company is also beginning service this year in New York and Chattanooga, Tenn., officials said.”

    Congratulations Chicago, you’ve joined the likes of other hipster havens in at least three continents.

    Why no Portland? Alta is a Portland-Based business but then the most filthiest hipsteriest city in the country doesn’t use their services? No Austin??

    • That’s because Portland’s mayor is taking payola from another bike vendor, and Austin can’t agree on how long a tax break should be given to Alta. (Besides, for all of the noise on Austin’s bike-friendly community, most of the biggest loudmouths shut the hell up during the summer. The only way you’ll be acclimated to the typical heat of a Texas summer is by starting at the beginning of March, so I get great entertainment off listening to Half Price Books employees going on and on about how they’re moving to Austin in July. “I won’t need a car! I can just ride my bike!” You usually don’t hear anything from them again, after they nearly die of heatstroke the first time they try to ride to work at noon.)

      • Yeah I’ve got some elderly family that winters or lives year round in southern Texas (Brownsville and San Antonio) and they tell me that most people don’t even ride motorcycles down there in the summer months because it’s too hot. I ride 9–10 months a year in Minneapolis’ harsh, usually cold climate (although not bad at all this winter), and those relatives always tell me how lucky I am to still be in MN where I can ride my motorbikes. Until I finally got down that way as an adult, I could never figure out what they were talking about. But the first time I was in Austin it was high nineties in March. I’ll still ride a motorycle in the high nineties. But probably not a bicycle.
        But a bearded celery stick with a lumberjack flannel and a touk on in mid-july? I’m all for it. Ride on hipster. Ride on… Maybe we’ll all get lucky and his brian will cook back to normal…

    • “Others admitted they felt guilty for not having done more, like stepping out into the street and punching Reston square in the goddamn mouth.”
      :D

    • FLAVORPILL :the hipster VH-1. A horror to watch and for that very reason, almost impossible to turn off. Came across it by accident a few weeks ago and have made sure not to go anywhere near NYC-TV after 10PM since then.

  21. Why does EVERYTHING have to be a MOVEMENT??!!
    The latest? Condiments, yup, it ‘s a “condimovement”! I am not making it up.:
    http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/35/11/24_brooklyncondiments_2012_03_16_bk.html
    some quotes you ask?:
    ” Empire Mayo, a tony mayonnaise shop in Prospect Heights that will sell varieties of egg yolk spread like smoked paprika, lime pickle, and black garlic”

    “Brooklynites can now choose from an astounding selection of borough-made toppings to dress up their food, like mustard from the Navy Yard by the spice sellers Tin, Mexican chip toppings from Bushwick’s Brooklyn Salsa, and jam from the preservationists at Anarchy in a Jar.”

    “Brooklyn Salsa Company makes preservative-free dip”
    “Burns, whose company dubs itself the “leaders of condimovement.””
    “If you look at the history of cookery, ‘bourgeois cookery’ was full of condiments while ‘royal cookery’ has none.”
    ““People have a yearning to control their food destiny.””

    • I believe that a preservationist is someone who works tirelessly to protect the heritage and cultural significance of historic buildings or places. NOT someone who works maybe 2 hours a day making whimisical rooftop ginger root chutney to sell to fellow retards for over $2 an ounce.
      http://www.anarchyinajar.com/

      Their motto: The revolution starts in your mouth.

      “Founder and CEO Laena McCarthy grew up making traditional jams with her family in upstate New York, and after a career in science and academia decided to make her passion for jammin’ into a business.”

      And now she’s an “artist” who’s “from” Brooklyn!

      • I have a passion for jammin’ a foot in her ass.

      • About once a year I get a craving for a Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Somehow, last week, Mrs SwampYankee slipped up and actually bought no-whole grain bread. Good all fashioned white bread!! We have peanut butter but no grape jelly, only raspberry jam. Guess what? It was OK with raspberry jelly. no big thing. you know why? because it’s just f#$king jelly!!!!!! Why make such a fuss about jam or jelly? Maybe the home made stuff is better. I would not know because i have no time to make my own jelly because Ia busy working!! and if I had some free time I sure would not spend it making jelly. Where do people find the time for this stuff?

          • Oh Lord, here comes another summer of Piper, Morgan, Hamilton, Hummus, Caleb, Parker, Megan, Zoey, Harrison, Zoey, Ethan, Zooey, and Zoe showing us stupid natives what New York is all about. Wish I had a dollar for every wool hat I saw some ‘Brooklyn Based’ bearded stick from out of town wearing in the sunny 72 degree weather today. I’m sure the snarky, eye rolling, ironic kazoo crowd was 30 deep on the benches outside Egg waiting 3 hours to get their $15 toast, while desperately begging for attention.

          • Beekeeping in Brooklyn? CHRIST…its insane what these clowns will conjure up and turn into a little scene. That Megan chick sounds annoying as all hell. Homemade toothpaste? WHY. She seems to be a big fan of “swaps” also. Shithead.

            I especially liked this “cool” entry by old Meg:

            It looks like I’ll be moving my Greenpoint bees in April to Brooklyn Navy Yard. My pal Chase is working out a little place for me to put my Top Bar Hive and my two Langstroth hives. I was going to move them to Jerz, but I still have honey CSA members here in Brooklyn so it makes sense to keep some hives here indefinitely. After all, I’ll only bee a quick jaunt away so regular inspections will be a breeze.

            WOW……your GREENPOINT BEE’S are heading for the NAVY YARD. That’s so gangster. You pal CHASE is probably really cool and fun to hang with. I wonder if I’d wanna open hand slap CHASE within 2 minutes of meeting him. I have a hunch I might.

            Also…way to say JERZ…you must be a real deal New Yorker. Everyone I know from NYC is all about bumble bee’s. That’s not something farmers do right?

            *SIGH*

          • CHASE the Brooklyn Based urban rooftop beekeeper. I think CHASE should take donations at 2am in the Saratoga Ave train station. He could hand out organic hummus and tell real Brooklynites about how he wants to raise enough money to pay for 10% of his Ohio cul de sac patentally funded loft – just to show the world that he may only be 38 years old, but that doesn’t mean he can’t support himself.

          • So here’s a hipster Megan in a nutshell. She doesn’t have any toothpaste, but she does have spearmint oil and stevia in the house.

    • A few good cases of ptomaine will put an end to this crap.

    • SHOCKER.

    • And just wait until transplants Megan, Harrison, and Parker demand a meeting with the President of Whole Foods and tell him that all fruit sold there must be locally sourced, all honey must come from Brooklyn rooftop beekeepers, and that customers must be allowed to ride their bicycles up and down the aisles to shop.

    • At least that will keep a few hipsters out of Union Square or Houston Street.

    • “You’ve got people walking up and down here so they can spend $200 on a pair of jeans, so Whole Foods will fit right in,” said Williamsburg resident Justin Fairweather, who shops at farmers markets and uses the delivery service Fresh Direct”
      What kind of fucknozzle uses Fresh Direct? I saw one of their trucks making a delivery right across the street from Key Food on McGuiness. I suspect their clientele is mostly iPhone zombies who are so addicted they even have to order their food by clicking.

  22. This kinda reminds me of a neighbor we had in Astoria, queens who was from out of state and wore these terrible clothes and refurbished and sold old furniture because she actually couldn’t afford new clothes and her job wasn’t paying that much. She was avtually one of those folks who supported themselves. This was 2003. Now all these hipsters are moving in and aren’t wearing thrift store clothes and taking furniture off the streets because they’re poor, merely because it’s cool. And queens is ironic and full of colored people who don’t speak English. The nicest things one of these transplants ever did was this one Sherlock look a like that helped me and an elderly relative clean up some leaves.Can’t say nice things about the rest.

  23. Man, I love this so much. Reminds me of Mark Alan Stamaty Who Needs Donuts too. Its so cool how you guys were brought together after all these years!

  24. paul is the man

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