Ok, there is no real Ethan in this story but why not use it, right? So about a week ago the story about ‘Babyccinos’ (cappuccinos and lattes for small kids) came out. You know for a fact that the moment a scalding cup of steamed milk falls on baby Tyler’s or Skyler’s leg, the parents, Ethan and Emma Nasalton will call Daddy Nasalton back in Wiscotucky to sue the restaurant. Until then - it’s all about LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Now, there’s Tats for Tots. Hey look, I remember getting those cheesy fake tattoo’s out of a Cracker Jack box where you would lick your skin and press it on. I know that kids do face painting at parties. I get it. That’s all fine. But when someone is creating and branding ‘designer’ tatoo’s that cost $5 to $15 a pop – then an article is written about them where it says the kids can fit right in with the “Bedford Ave crowd” – that’s when I lose it.
Why would you want your kid to resemble a filthy looking Zane or Zoey try-hard that drinks $7.00 coffee along Bedford Ave who arrived in Brooklyn 3 years ago? Oh, right, because you yourself are a Zane or Zoey who did the same thing when you arrived to Brooklyn 6 years ago.