Hey…Ethan…Leave those kid’s alone! – Tats for tots and Babyccinos.

Ok, there is no real Ethan in this story but why not use it, right? So about a week ago the story about ‘Babyccinos’ (cappuccinos and lattes for small kids) came out. You know for a fact that the moment a scalding cup of steamed milk falls on baby Tyler’s or Skyler’s leg, the parents, Ethan and Emma Nasalton will call Daddy Nasalton back in Wiscotucky to sue the restaurant. Until then - it’s all about LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Now, there’s Tats for Tots. Hey look, I remember getting those cheesy fake tattoo’s out of a Cracker Jack box where you would lick your skin and press it on. I know that kids do face painting at parties. I get it. That’s all fine. But when someone is creating and branding ‘designer’ tatoo’s that cost $5 to $15 a pop – then an article is written about them where it says the kids can fit right in with the “Bedford Ave crowd” – that’s when I lose it.

 Why would you want your kid to resemble a filthy looking Zane or Zoey try-hard that drinks $7.00 coffee along Bedford Ave who arrived in Brooklyn 3 years ago? Oh, right, because you yourself are a Zane or Zoey who did the same thing when you arrived to Brooklyn 6 years ago.

LinkBrooklyn Paper.com: Tats for Tots

57 thoughts on “Hey…Ethan…Leave those kid’s alone! – Tats for tots and Babyccinos.

  1. When I was growing up in Brooklyn Tatts were illegal and we had to go downstairs into Tonys cellar apt/Tatt Parlor. The conditions were filthy, The art was horrible and the line was out the door. You had a limited choice of Christ tags, Virgin Mary’s, Italian Horns, Shamrocks and Devils with Pitch Forks. If I could get my Tatts off me I would do it in a Brooklyn Minute yet here we have pathetic hipsters who are very, very, very NOT FROM BROOKLYN involved in a Look at me and child event promoting Tatts.

  2. Considering the fact that hipsters hang around all day playing kickball, messing around with Star Wars action figures, and making play-doh animals as art, they might as well get indoctrinated as latte drinking, tattoo sleeved pretenders as infants. I mean, these Joshes think pouring coffee in a cup for a customer is a difficult job that requires competitions to find out which one is the ‘best’ every year. Or ‘making’ string bracelets to sell in flea markets – something any 7 year old did when they were in summer camp.

    I’m absolutely positive that there will be infant pubic beards coming out on the market any day now – take a close look at etsy and Brooklyn Flea over the next few weeks. And I guess PBR labeled baby bottles can’t be far off either.

    • I fear that you are right about the pubic baby beards.

      I believe someone posted these here a while back but I actually saw some douchebag at a local ski hill on Sunday wearing one of those fake beard / scarf / facewarmer deals.


      I thought I’d only encounter one of those if I was in Brooklyn or Portland or something. Surely not at a ski hill on the outskirts of the Twin Cities metro area. (Although I do realize that most of your BK-based “artists” who are “from” Brooklyn probably grew up out there…)

      And in all fairness there have always been eccentric people at ski hills. But this dude was just screaming LOOK AT MEEEEEEEE!!!! AREN’T I THE CLEAVER ORIGINAL ONE WITH MY BEARD SCARF???? LOOOOOOOK AAAAAATTTTT MMEEEEEEEEEE!!!!. Totally waiting for someone to ask him about it. No one ever did though, most people steered clear of him.

      Also, I’m sad to say, I did see one group of hipster poser types who were very obviously only skiing because they thought it was somehow ironic.

  3. *snork* at ‘infant public beards’

    Good one.

    These people are scum. Every time I see a Zoey with her sleeve tattoo I want to ask her, “Hey dumb@ss, how do you think this is going to look in 10 or 20 years? Like you haven’t washed in months.”

    Granted, she probably hasn’t…

  4. Looks like some Germans saw Portlandia and copied a business idea.


    Giving sausage a face

    A Berlin initiative is on a mission to revolutionise meat consumption. At Meine Kleine Farm, consumers can see a picture of the pig they’re eating on the packaging. They can even choose which pig will be slaughtered to make their sausages.

  5. After the fake tattoo do the parents stroll down to the Gowanus and baptize their spawn while chanting Ayn Rand passages?

  6. There is video too..Be sure to check it out but try not to punch your screen..

      • That’s funny, cuz when he did his segment on DC he hit every hipster haunt in the area.

      • Hipsters “ruin” lots of things. Like fancy coffee, fix-gear bikes, scarves, and so on. Hipsters of course, never call themselves as such. They will say things like “blogger”, “artist”, “D.J.”, and “Foodie”. Bourdain must hate that last part. Hipsters ruin food trucks and cause long lines at eateries. Some places I’ve been going to get reviewed in a food blog, and the next thing I know, hipsters clog the place a week later. I don’t blame Bourdain at all.

  7. Hello everyone and welcome to the Brooklyn based day care center of the future:


    We are a talented and forward thinking team of early education specialists dedicated
    to giving your child the necessary skills and education to not only survive today’s gritty urban landscape but become a seasoned Brooklyn-ite but a world citizen as well.

    Look – we all know college and high school are important. And they are – to an extent. But given the evolving nature of today’s sophisticated Hipster (and you are not hipsters..wink wink) studies have shown that since 97% of today’s urban elite have not matured past the age of 7 we decided to teach and reinforce the important skill sets associated with infants, toddlers and young children.

    At Teeny Sprouts ™ we teach important life long skills as:

    How to stand in line to use an ATM machine

    Kick ball

    Penny farthing and Unicycle parking

    Language (whatev, ya, Dropping tunes, deck, fin)

    How to properly ask your parents for money

    How to order coffee

    Bike lane advocacy

    Choosing a tattoo in 15 seconds

    Social skills (eye rolling, sneering etc)

    Basic knowledge:
    3 cradles of western civilization (Brooklyn, Portland and Prague)
    Where do you plant vegetables? (on a roof)
    Job skills (barista, art director and unpaid social media intern)

    Proper public behavior :
    Wearing no pants on the subway
    How to negotiate an oversized backpack on a bus
    Pestering EMT about blocking a bike lane while he’s tending to a stabbing victim

    Of course Teeny Sprouts is not all hard work and no play! Every day we break up important skill building sessions with fun stuff too!

    History of Art (2001 to present)
    Water tower photography
    Gender neutral tofu sculpting
    Great educational games like “cry like a littlegirl”, Daddy please change my lightbulb” and “I have another great business idea, daddy!”

    Finally there’s the facility itself. Crafted from locally sourced, reclaimed materials it includes such amenities as a child sized Whole Foods market, gender neutral bathrooms (no urinals) play ATM machine, Playskool I-phones, coffee shop and pint-sized subway platform where your precious snowflakes get to learn how to surrender their belongings to the local savages!

    Come join us on August 17th for a free tour, hummus and PBR. Byeee!

    • Megan will write in to claim that you stole her idea.

    • LOL – awesome post Pat.

      Here’s a question from some concerned parents:

      ‘Hi Pat – my name is Quinn, from Williamsburg; my wife Molly and I would like to reserve a spot for our unborn son at Teeny Sprouts, and had 2 questions. I remember when I was growing up in Ohio that athletic kids would pick on me. My wife had the same experience growing up in Iowa. Our questions;
      1) Can you assure us that there will be no gym classes?
      2) If we name our son Brooklyn, will it help him get a spot over idiots that name their kids crazy things like Mike, Robert, and Anthony?

      We look forward to your response. Thanks!’

      • Dear Quinn-

        What a great name! I know six people with that name. They all live in my building (and in the same loft!).

        Thank you so much for your interest in our Brooklyn based Teeny Sprouts!

        Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Vespa Hummusturd and I am the assistant director/puppeteer/irony coach at Teeny Sprouts. Your questions were passed on to me for evaluation.

        To answer your questions:

        1. We do not have gym classes per se, but rigorous, non-competitive physical education is a necessary part of our daily routine. We feel that in order to survive the “Urban Jungle” and enlighten the masses one must be not only intellectually trained but physically fit as well. Below are a few examples of our “hard core” physical curriculum:

        - Inclusive Ball: the opposite of Dodge Ball. Your child is sent out and hit with balls (made from hand woven linen and sustainable feather Boas) by all the kids who chant “ WE LOVE YOU!!” and then engage in a group hug while they fall to the (padded) Tatami floor, laughing while a shower of hand pulled Brooklyn based taffy and hummus crisps falls from the ceiling.
        - OWS Protest skills. Children are taught to mock authority and learn necessary protest skills like circle drumming, papier mache’, sign making
        i-phone documentation and a daily reviews of ACLU emergency contact information.. The class ends with a free form dance under the supervision of Doe, our staff choreographer. Kids get to bring home goodies like fake neck beards, tattoos, play ATM cards and arm pit hair pieces (girls only).

        - Back pack skills: Children are equipped with an oversized backpack and taught how to properly negotiate buses, trains,crowded terminals and Star Trek conventions. They are sent through a scale model mock-ups set up with pressure sensitive mannequins of exotic “locals” (construction workers, police, nurses, maids, line cooks, etc). Every dummy they hit evokes a response which must be properly addressed by your child (as taught by our aggression management coach). A score of 100% “full contact” is required
        for graduation.

        Balloon animal jousting: Kids are equipped with full body protective gear and “joust” with balloon animals. If balloon impact exceeds 2 pounds per square inch of pressure a sensor built into the suit sets off an alarm and notifies the parents, local trauma center and one of fifty personal injury attorneys and a Shaman drumming circle. Bike lanes are cleared so parents can quickly gain access to their little Snowflake.

        Wham Bam Gender Bender Rave: Party hardy dudes! A full gender bender 70’s rave complete with platform shoes, make up, body glitter, roller skates, afro wigs and rainbow suspenders! Soundtrack by ironic glam rock artists like David Bowie, Gary Glitter, T-Rex, Slade, (Leo Sayer (for the irony) and The NY Dolls – all while clips of 70’s TV classics like “That’s My Momma” “Starsky and Hutch”, “Good Times”,”Soul Train” and “Baretta” are shown on state of the art wide screen monitors!

        Broom Soccer: Soccer played with handmade reproductions of 19th century straw brooms and balls of yarn. No goalies, no scores. Everyone is a winner. Everyone gets a trophy. In fact , every day, everyone gets a participation trophy for everything – including lunch.

        2. No! No! No! Not unless your kid’s name is “Question” Mark or “Mark Anthony. Native offspring show way to much aggression. They’re potty trained by the age of seven, can eat by themselves, show signs of self-sufficiency, eat processed foods (Hershey Kisses.. UGH!) They participate in real sports like football, basketball and baseball. We don’t need that sort of virus infecting your precious snowflake. So through background checks are done on all applicants as well as skin color comparisons against a Pantone Color Wheel.

        We hope this information helps. We look forward to nurturing your child and turning him or her into a real “Brooklyn Commando”!

        God I love this blog!

        • Thank you for your response Pat. Molly and I are looking forward to bringing up Brooklyn as an environmentally aware, artistic, creative, whimical, quirky, zany child – which will make him very unique in Williamsburg. We would like to have him appreciate the value of a dollar, so we plan on employing some tough love, and throwing him out of the house at age 47, into the mean streets of gentrified north Brooklyn, whether he is ready or not.

          Two final questions: 1) Like yah, we are going to be raising Brooklyn in a protective bubble; will Teeny Sprouts! have curriculums for special little miracles like our dear Brooklyn? Molly is a bit concerned that Brooklyn might be denied some of the regular experiences, such as the field trip to Brooklyn Flea, the snark contest outside Roberta’s mediocre pizza shoppe, and the Bushwick rooftop hummus fest. On the bright side, he will be well protected for the Greenpoint Urban Rooftop Beekeeper’s symposium. Oh, by the way, did I mention that his name is Brooklyn? Snort

          2) We all know that in order to get ahead in creative New Brooklyn, barista training will be crucial. Molly and I are concerned that with the dangerous, gritty, urban roads that the school bus will have to travel on the class field trip to Ironic Ethan’s Ye Olde Tyme Breuklein Soy Latte Collective and Artisanal Cupcake Shoppe, that our precious Brooklyn might potentially be slightly jostled about on the bus. Will Teeny Sprouts! of Brooklyn be able to provide additional bubble wrap to coat dear Brooklyn in so that he will be protected from harm should the bus encounter a pothole? Also, please assure us that the driver will be equipped with a backup inhaler, just in case little Brooklyn loses his. We’d also feel better if the driver was also Brooklyn based.

          Molly, myself, and little unborn Brooklyn all thank you for your attention to these matters. We are eagerly anticipating the artisanal adventure that Brooklyn will have at Teeny Sprouts! of Brooklyn. Molly and I may have just moved here to discover whimsy 3 years ago, but like yah, Brooklyn is in our bones, we are everything Brooklyn stands for, and once we bring lil Brooklyn into the world, Brooklyn will be even more a part of our quirky little life adventure.

          Thanks again,
          Quinn, Molly, and precious, tender, miraculous little Brooklyn

          • L O fucking L !!!

          • Have been busy with work and finals, but OMG I am crying here from laughing. I needed to take a break before my head exploded with numbers.

            I’ll be back with some stuff after this weekend, I promise. Miss you guys.

    • Fucking brilliant!

    • LOL @ “Penny farthing and Unicycle parking!”

      And it just got better from there. Nice work Pat! If this isn’t a real thing yet, I bet it will be very soon…

    • Hello,
      My name is Molly Megan. I am from Park Slope, for the past 5 years.
      I’m writing to inquire about Teeny Sprouts. My child’s name is Lotus Sunflower. We were going to name her after me but it sounded very mainstream. All my friends seem to be named Molly or Megan.

      Lotus Sunflower, my precious one-of-a-kind child is now 2 years old. She has been showing some incredible proficiency in fingerpainting. In fact, the child’s father and I think some of her artwork looks quite similar to those on display at MoMA. We have been thinking of asking my parents for money for an agent so we can start selling her priceless designs to cool coffee shoppes and obscure art galleries, and get mentioned on blogs.

      It appears you have what we are looking for as far as quality care. We want our child to grow up in a zany, quirky atmosphere such as yours. But our child prodigy needs lots of attention. Would you be able to provide daily gallery openings of her work?

      See you at the free hummus and PBR tour! This really sounds like the kind of place where we’ll fit in…we’re from Wisconnsotahio and now we’re real Park Slope natives because we got tired of people unironically wearing trucker hats and drinking PBRs back home!

    • Pat,

      We would like to enroll our special child in your fine institution. Can you please answer the following questions?

      1: What is your policy on gender neutral children. We raise our ‘child’ to be gender free. Will your school honor this and never place our child on a ‘girls’ or ‘boys’ team?

      2: Our child enjoys the flexibility of wearing what they please. Will it be ok if our child wears a mix of clothing to class. We also stress to our snowflake that clothing knows no bounds so it may be medieval peasant wear one day or frilly french burlesque clothing the next

      3: What is your policy on ‘raw’ diets. We do not poison our child with harmful effects that heat places on food. We also do not believe in refrigeration due to the nasty chemicals the can be emitted in those evil white devil boxes! Do you have a root cellar or similar place where our child can keep their lunch

      4: Our child has a nasty allergies with the sun, diary, meat, nuts, gluten, honey, wheat and sugar. We need to ensure that our child will have protection both coming and leaving from school and that they never be outside during breaks. We also ask that our child be able to dine in the root cellar as it prefers the cool of the air to digest its raw food diet and not risk being exposed to the other nasty foods the child may be eating around them.

      5: We spoke with another school up the road that had a Penny Farthing based school bus system. Can we enroll in a similar system? Keeping in mind our child’s special requirements allergy we would require a special bus with high tint levels and other barriers against the evil sun

      6: The other school had a program where the entire family could get matching class tattoos. We would like to enroll in this offer. The misses is saving a special spot on her inner thigh down to her cankle!

      7: Our precious snowflake is also color blind and we find it unfair that they be held back in regards to the rest of the class having more ‘colors’ to work with in art class. Can you please limit the primary colors to green, red and grey?

      Best Regards,

      Denton and Beki

  8. This just in: More New Nice-y (NYC)
    Just sad…

  9. I hate to turn this into a race thing, but if this lady was a black or hispanic person the world would be in an uproar. Every single bleeding heart liberal would say how this sets a bad example. I guess certain people can do just about anything without the country frowning upon them.

  10. I had to share this one: The New Yorker magazine has a brief restaurant review embedded in the listings each week. The latest one reviews one in Brooklyn called “Battersby.”

    It tells us that “On every table, there is a dish of pureed potatoes, already Yelp-famous, which taste like a delicious cloud of cream.” — only hipsters can go into yelping swoons over what are essentially mashed potatoes. But that’s not the best line in the review, not at all:

    “For tables of young Brooklynites [sic] and their supportive parents taking them out for dinner (overheard: ‘I don’t want to be one of those fathers who doesn’t let you pursue what you love’)…”

    • Best comment, by “Anonymous”, includes the line, “Congratulations, feminist, you earned this society.” Possibly not the entire answer but probably close enough. You give the yogamatic lesbian wiccans of Park Slope and Philly what they say they want and they have nerve to ask, “Why are there no REAL MEN ?”. Go figure.

    • I don’t see this as a hipster apologist article. Anything but: this is a warning that somebody needs to do something. (The analogy to mixing up cake mix and forgetting to put in the vanilla versus pouring vanilla extract atop a fully baked cake is particularly good. What isn’t said is what should be said: a 30-year-old live-at-home who does nothing but play video games and watch porn is baked, all right. The question is whether you decide that this is good enough, or whether you throw him out and try again.)

      • I wish those live-at-homes would just stay home and forget about trying to venture out into urban, gritty Brooklyn, Portland, DC, whatever town it is they think is trendy. It’s better for us if they’re holed up in Mom’s basement. Out of sight, out of mind.

        He comes here for lack of anything better to do, and perhaps maybe getting out of the house will please his parents(even though the parents still have to pay for him). Then he finds himself surrounded by a crop of Marketing and Retail grad girls trying to emulate Carrie Bradshaw, and suddenly, he has a girlfriend.

        The girls think because he’s 10-15 years older than they are, that maybe, just maybe, they’ve just landed their Mr. Big. He’ll con them into believing that ‘I just got laid off by my Mr. Big firm, I’m just going through a bad stretch now, it’s the economy, it’ll turn around soon, etc, etc” and the girls buy it. Until 3 years go by and they still find themselves paying all the rent, buying all the food, never going out unless they pay the tab, and he’s been sitting on the couch the whole time watching porn while they’re out working on their careers.

        It slowly slowly dawns on them that this is his modus operandi. If they want to have a boyfriend because time’s ticking and if they want that validation of the big engagement ,the perfect wedding, and staying home with the new babies (not just the adult one), this is who they have to put up with.

        It’s just too much pressure for Josh. Being a responsible adult is SO complicated. Life would’ve been so much easier back in mom’s basement in Cul De Sac Land. Then the present girlfriend throws him out, realizing he’s not going to grow up, she’s never going to change him, and he goes and finds a newer recent Retail Marketing or PR grad to take care of him. He realizes, “hey this is easy, I can just find young girls who will take me in instead of going back to mom’s. If this girl gets too needy i.e. needing help with rent and grocery bills, I’ll go find another and stay on her couch til she gets needy”. And so on.

        So it goes with these losers FOREVER. All it took was a few key phrases from the disheveled 30-something Josh in his lumberjill shirt at the courthouse the other day. That said it all: It’s obvious that guy isn’t even TRYING to grow up.

        Please, please, Josh, go back to your mom’s and hide for the rest of your life. You’re not fit to be anywhere else.

    • Bring back the draft!

      • Trust me: the Armed Forces don’t want these losers, either. Well, except for clearing mine fields and testing protective masks against nerve agents.

    • Read this article and stopped midway.

      At some point the finger has to be pointed at nobody but themselves.

      Being a 28 year old man livung with their folks is pathetic.

      I think I might of been heading in the direction of being some depressed invalid loswr but i changed things up late last year. Started working out five days a week. Started taking life more seriously and realized that only i could really be responsible for myself at a.certain point and no on

      • No one else could. Now, I.look in the mirror and I’m finally happy at what I see. Ive been working out for 25 weeks straight now and am in the best shape of my life. And i didnt join the armed forces to do it. All this while juggling a semi decent desk job.

        This might sound like a dick thing to say…but I have zero compassion or sympathy for any of the men or women in that article. You reap what you sow. That dude edd or stevie said that the hipster effect was that women wanted more feminine and metrosexual men or whatnot…well to those ladies; If thats what you want…DONT

        • All apologies for the typos. My internet is temporarily down and I had to use my phone to type that out. I can’t be as grammatically correct or versatile as I want to be on my phone as supposed to a computer.

        • I totally agree with that last statement. Zero compassion for any of them. Their whole deal is completely PATHETIC. If they came looking for sympathy, they won’t find it here.

    • WTF? How does Connor’s Journalism degree cost $100,000.oo? Damn, things changed since I was in college. I’d expect that for a law or medical degree, but fucking journalism from Penn State? Actually, how does blogging make him money? We’re commenting on a blog now. How much does “Die Hipster” make? (Pat, you could put his listing “part time blogger” as a job as another flag. A big hipster flag. Ditto with his wanting to stay in his narrow job field and pass up opportunities from influential pals of his affluent parents, the lucky bastard…)
      Shit, looking back at my life, I didn’t have connected friends of my parents throwing job offers and business cards at me after graduation. Guess it’s because my family isn’t lucky enough to be very affluent and influential on that level. (Connor’s family does sound well off.)
      This article is disturbing indeed. Not only are we seeing a source of hipster populations exploding, but this generation of man-children, according to this article, is giving birth to more douchebag “bros”. (The part about “-young men are having bromances with their guy friends instead, modeling themselves on Entourage, Jersey Shore and The Hangover-” ) Ones that don’t contribute as productive citizens it seems. Hell, I heard from a mall cop the other day that he chased some of these douche-types out of a stairwell in the middle of the day because they were in there smoking weed. Grown men in the middle of the day getting high in a piss blasted mall stairwell instead of having a job. (Guess mommy won’t let him smoke at home.) The security guard said that one of the douches yelled something about the mall cop not working or having a real job as he ran out of the emergency exit, reeking of pot. This article just reminded me of that. I have to agree. Mall cops are still a type of working stiff. Last time I checked, pot- smoking douche does not count as a job.
      Another thing about this article; Japan has a parallel problem with men it seems. Not quite the same, but there are men who shut themselves indoors instead of getting a job. Or make pillows their girlfriends because they can’t handle social interaction with women. (Not that the women would go for them if you’ve seen photos…)

      A British article about how nice virtual women are better than some real person any day, according to some men…

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori The shut-ins who can’t face the world and lock themselves away.

    • Sooo….they’re finally figuring out that their Participation Trophies and praise showered by helicopter parents and teachers at their expensive private colleges doesn’t mean shit in the real world. The Adderall and Zoloft takes away libido, so they’re awful in bed. Won’t find jobs, because mom and dad have huge McMansions and Josh can have his own wing rent-free. Some Joshes prefer that over living 8 to an expensive bedbug farm loft in Nieuw Breukelen. I wish more of them did, then we’d have fewer of them here.

      As far as the girls, I was waiting for takeout the other day at a restaurant. There was a couple sitting within earshot, obviously on a first date. The girl was a chunky Meghan and the guy was half her size. She was excitedly talking(babbling) about her “Women’s Studies” (not kidding) major, how she did research papers on “Demasculinazation of the Modern Male”(not making this up), “Feminism in the 21st Century” “Women’s Empowerment Development Workshops” etc.etc. I could see the poor guy’s eyes glazing over. If I was the dude on the first date with her and that’s what she talked about I think I would’ve faked a family emergency or found some sort of reason to leave her there.

      The most pathetic thing is there are always girls right out of college who are willing to take in these 30+ something live-at-home sad sacks and strays. I was at City Hall the other day, there was a grubby looking filthy faux lumberjack shirt wearing greasy haired 30-something in front of me. He was asked if he had a job, nope, unemployed. What did he do before being unemployed? Freelance graphics, did some computer stuff part time. Then he said he lives with (read: lives off)his girlfriend. Of course you do Josh, of course you do.

      I say reinstate the draft. There are latrines to be cleaned out with toothbrushes, mines to be swept, bullet proof vests to be tried out. Let’s see if they can make artisinal MREs with the organic produce they can harvest themselves from the local minefields.They can bring Arcade Fire to the uncultured Taliban, and teach them how to be whimsical and zany too.

      • GREAT POST!

        The reason why so many women take in these loser guys is because there is an epidemic of low self-esteem among most American women. These women ACT like they are the shit, but deep down, they don’t feel good at all. That’s why they shack up with losers: a strong man would expose these loser women.

        The only problem I have with this article is that it neglects what I just wrote: today’s young women are a freaking mess, too. It’s not just a man thing.

        • So true. It seems like this type of thing goes over every single type of boundary i can imagine. Ive read similar musings connected to different communities and it all reads the same.

          So…what the hell happened? 50 years ago most men and women were married by 22-23 and had families two years later. Did 9/11 blast this generation of adults into infancy? (Pretty much the same time the hipster epidemic began)

          I’d talk more about this but i have to get to bed for work tomorrow. Ill elaborate then.

          • The correct answer in the comments would have been “Conniving skank.”,but then I’m a misanthrope and a misogynist.

          • Call it what you will. Either way it goes a long way towards explaining why a lot of guys never marry.
            Funny how as porn gets better and flights to Bang-Cock get cheaper, women make themselves more unattractive. I’ll never understand that. Guess it’s what their mothers taught them.

    • This article right here is one of the reasons I don’t want kids. While I know I would raise any kid I have the way I was raised, there’s nothing stopping them from one day saying “I’m coming back home” past the age of 21.

      I only moved back home once but it was only temporarily until I was able to find a new place. I didn’t move back home because I was being lazy like these guys waiting until “the right job” came along.

  11. One more unkind thought : Forced sterilztion of all Meghans, Zeldas, Haydens, Connors and Joshes, as a condition for moving to Brooklyn and other places, would prevent them from forcing new generations of themselves upon us the unwilling. It would spare future generations of normal people from the scourge of worthless art, journalism, music, cupcakes and quirkiness. It would slowly but surely depopulate their strongholds north of diehipster’s red line as well as in Portland,Seattle and other suffering cities and towns across the country and around the world and bring some semblance of reality back to the real estate market. Hipsters might always be with us but it need not be in the present quantity.

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