My fishing days might be over.

The other day I finally posted another fake Craigslist ad for the Fishing for Hipsters section after having it blocked by Craigslist two previous tries before that. I had to use another e-mail address and computer. So what happens? Not even after it being up for 1/2 hour, either Stevie the 32 year old effeminate, scarf in summer wearing, vampire loving, web site design failure flagged it for removal or some hipster who I caught while fishing did the same as he now spends days upon days scanning Craigslist in revenge.

Anyway, I thought I’d share the ad because it was pretty far fetched. I believe the more far fetched they are, the more pathetic the try-hard hipster will be that get’s hooked. I guess I’ll have to put the thinking cap on and figure out a way not to get flagged so quickly. I once tried posting the “Artist Community” section on CL. Only got a few hits. It was a good one – I said I was holding an adult finger painting contest in McCarren Park where there would plenty of vegan treats and artisanal coffee. I don’ t think that section gets nearly the amount of traffic as the Women seeking Men section gets. Anyway, here was the flagged ad:

 

CAN WORKING TOGETHER LEAD TO LOVE??? – 30 (Billburg/G-Point/Shwick)


Date: 2012-02-24, 12:25PM EST
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here


 

Hello out there! : )

My name is Fawndra. I’m posting this in hopes to mix business with pleasure. : ) I am a Portland/Toronto/Brooklyn-based artist, caterer, community organizer and writer. I have launched an idea/business that is taking off quickly so I need someone to help out over the next 3 – 6 months to keep up with orders. What I do is cater Brooklyn post-modern and progressive art events for up and coming artists in the Billy/G-point/Shwick area – with edible hummus statues. YES I said EDIBLE HUMMUS STATUES! It’s a zany craze that has caught on in our vibrant creative community. We do everything from scratch including buying locally sourced chick peas and other necessary ingredients and making it our selves and then finally sculpting it. The sculpture subject will be totally up to you unless specified by the customer. In the past I’ve sculpted people, animals, buildings, even a vintage type writer!

Pay will totally be negotiable upon our conversation after our emails. Please respond soon. I have an event in south east billburg next weekend that I need help with. You can email me some of your prior work for review. I look forward to hearing from you today! Please tell me as much as you can about yourself in your email such as hobbies, interests, favorite foods, books, films, etc. I hope this ends up more than just a work relationship!

Love & Peace – F

42 thoughts on “My fishing days might be over.

  1. LOL – community organizer; Edible Hummus Statues!

    I’m thinking that they might have flagged it because you mixed in a job offer, and/or they considered it an attempt to solicit business?

    • Maybe JAZ. Watching these fucks like we do, I cant believe someone would call “bullshit” on this.

      • That’s what I was thinking – this isn’t so out of bounds for these bearded twizzlers that it would elicit such quick removal. I’ve seen Zoeys that would fit this description to a T.

        • Yeah, but if you click on a few random ads in that section, some will say “This has been flagged and removed” – even though the title still appears in the list. I believe that one or probably a few guys that are so pissed at being fooled by robots and spam and pic collectors are just flagging like crazy because they are so pissed. Just like Stevie used to (and probably still does) flag every single post in the Rants and Raves section that mentions the word hipster and then reply to it with his copy and paste speech of how the rest of the world is jealous of frail, scarf wearing pussies. I still am in awe at how much time Stevie spent scanning and flagging and re-posting his speech. So if he can do it, I’m sure others can too.

          • Yeah, just checked it out – pretty sure you’re right that it had nothing to do with being off topic. It very likely has to be one of the hipsters that got embarrassed for being exposed by ‘Fishing’. They have zero sense of humor, and instead of just saying ‘yeah, I got owned – maybe I have turned into a bit of a cliche’, they throw their kazoo tantrum and frantically scan Criagslist New York nonstop waiting to pounce on any post that may draw in some hipsters. Bunch of gentrifying losers.

          • A kazoo tantrum hahahaha,I’m picturing that,last night i got into a huge fight with a cunt bartender and got thrown out of Applebee’s so i went straight to the gym and racked up some heavy iron until my body was beaten,I’m picturing a one of these polio string cheese bodies snapping on his boyfriend for buying Helman’s mayo when the the new artisinal(however you spell it,new word to me)mayo store just opened on the corner and throwing a fit,lock himself in a room and play the kazoo until his lungs explode.
            LOL kazoo tantrum

          • They don’t need an actual kazoo. Their voices are the same.

        • I probably hate Craigslist more than I hate hipsters. I stopped posting there over 5 years ago after Craig stepped up the flagging mechanism so the crybabies can’t sue.

          There’s no way to post anything above the 25th percentile I.Q. anymore. So many little butthurt 40yo virgins on there getting their panties in a twist when you remind them women don’t want to see pix of their penises. Also:
          Impeach Obama
          Yuo A Fag
          Nazis/Racists
          Spam/Porn
          Idiots who’ve been posting there for 5 years or more with names.
          Stevie’s homophobic meathead screeds.
          Ads for Florida real estate anywhere except Florida.

          etc.

          Honestly, I so rarely even go there now that the few times I do, I have to get away before I kill myself.

          • I have been looking for work on Craigslist.com for the last 6 months and the few dozen jobs that i answered always turned out to be a scam.Every single one of them…..FUCK CRAIGSLIST.

    • Hell, I can walk out of my hospital’s basement with something like that for free…or at least I finders fee of a pack of smokes for the janitor. Now being in the medical field for so long I find that stuff kind of neat….but NOT for 165 bucks.

    • “Distressed” = fucked up, dirty, broken. Hey! Throw in the roach eggs and you gotta deal!

    • “Salvaged from a Connecticut insane assylum …”

      Sure it was. They promise. Sell the sizzle, not the steak, as they say in advertising.

      I think the phrase, “Salvaged from a Connecticut insane assylum”, is the hipster marketing version of, “Driven by a little old lady to church on Sundays”.

      Then again, this item might appeal to an inmate of such an assylum, because only an insane person would consider paying $165 for that dirty piece of scrap iron.

      • It means Special Edd stole it from the asylum when he escaped.

        (Note: This does not show Special Edd. No hipster is capable of such feats of strength)

    • Lmao. The recent comment by Superspud is hysterical.

    • From the article:

      ‘The Brooklyn Grange, a 40,000-square-foot organic farm that sits on top of the Standard Motor Products building in Long Island City, Queens, plans to open a new rooftop operation each year over the next five years’.

      So, let me get this straight;
      -your organic farm is in Queens.
      -your organic farm is named Brooklyn Grange, not Queens Grange.

      Really, can’t we just slingshot every one of these fucking cultural vampires and phonies back to the midwest now?

    • “The buildings must also be structurally sound enough to support about 1.2 million pounds of soil.”
      Small problem there. Also the flooding once the pipes burst. Assholes…

  2. Was it flagged by someone who wanted to flag hipster ads perhaps? Or is the angry hipster revenge flagging more likely?

  3. I think the giveaway is hummus, use something else.

  4. What? No incoherent ranting from Stevie about how this proves he’s cleverer than us? No terribly dignified windy nerd-rage from Ed about how it serves us right for laughing at the struggles of the brave young underdog?

    I thought they’d be all over this post. Are they slipping?

    • I figured that the gravy train ended for the both of them. In Stevie’s case, his girlfriend probably kicked him out and left him homeless. In Special Edd’s case, I suspect that he’s in his bedroom, furious with his father for not subsidizing the making of “DieDieHipster: The Motion Picture”, and threatening to hold his breath until he turns blue.

      • Stevie curls up in a ball and sulks every time I out him with the bunny rabbit or the Kim Jong Il videos. He doesn’t fool me for a second with names like “I might be the person you hate”. Given that he’s almost 35 now, WTF? I’m also sure that “girlfriend” was just a model posing for him.

        As for Edd, when I did a whois search for him, it used to say Brooklyn. Until recently it said Fairfield CT. Now he has it blocked. My conclusion is he moved back in with his mom. Either that or the looney bin where he stole the table from and wants $165 for it (which coincidentally is what I paid for my shitty video camera).

  5. That fishing ad is laying it on too thick. it reads more like a DH rant than an ad.

    Your best fishing ads are full of mockery to those with eyes to see, but it isn’t so obvious (humus/”zany”/typewriters etc).

    Back to the drawing board.

    • Well, like I said, sometimes I like to over do it to find those “super-quirky” try-hards. I could just write “call me, I’m in Williamsburg” and I’ll get every guy in Brooklyn emailing me. With greater risk comes greater reward – in this case it got flagged.

  6. DH, I know you fight is for New York. However, might I give 2 suggestions. The first you have already mentioned. Have one of us write it, run it past you, and with your blessing post it and give the responses to you to put up. 2)Since your board has become international, you could start fishing in other cities claiming former Williamsburg artistic prestige etc, but had to move “home” to the nearest large city, because they “didnt get it.” If another Josh read it, he might think the Brooklyn Mecca might be fizzling out and not want to move.

    • I was thinking the same thing,I have nothing but free time to help out this website ever since the russian’s moved to sheepshead bay and put all my stores out of business.
      Diehipster what’s your feelings on Russian’s?Maybe I can start my own blog dievlad.com

      But i would def help out with the fishing for hipsters bit,nothing but time on my hands to help the good cause of turning Brooklyn back to Brooklyn

      • Hate to disagree with you but I have no problem with Russians. Or with any nationality. That’s what Brooklyn is about. The world comes here. That’s real culture. Hipsters are not a culture. They are try-hard attention seeking nasally cunts who over pay for everything from coffee to rent. Hope that answers your question.

      • dievlad.com, SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!

  7. If you try again, go with bacon ice cream sculptures for special events. And if anyone starts making bacon ice cream sculptures for events, I want a royalty.

  8. This morning, I get out of the train at Canal Street, and what do I see on the platform? A fucking bearded stick, wool hat and all, with a fucking camera, snapping photos of people getting off the train to go to work. What the fuck is this fascination the hipsters have with subway stations? I guess seeing people going to regualr jobs is unique to them. Dammit, I know it’s gonna be a bad hipster week when it starts like this. GO HOME GENTRIFIERS – NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE

    • Worse than seeing them taking pictures of normal productive people going to work in the morning is the thought of them sitting around their loft at 2p this afternoon going through all the pictures and laughing at all the “tools” and “sheep” getting on and off the trains. Since they’ve never had to earn a dime they could never understand why some of us “sheep” work.
      But the smug way with which most of these hipsters look at the rest of the world is the number one thing I hate about them.
      The gentrification / ruining of my old home is a close second.
      What’s really worth laughing at is that they are the real sheep. All exactly the same. Not an original or creative idea amongst them.

      Time to teach pit-bulls to herd sheep…

  9. Haha, hummus statues….nice one

    That WAS probably a little too obvious though. What you should do is post in Wisconasottoregon Craigslist personals as someone who is “seeking a soulmate to move to Brooklyn”, etc…..could be a gold mine, lol

  10. DH. Maybe you should starting giving your readers homework assignments. Fishing for hipsters all over the world. You write an ad, we post it to our local Craigslist. You put the results up on Diehipster.

  11. Just found this song on youtube

    Checked the band out on wikipedia, it says Origin Middletown, Connecticut, U.S.

    But urban dictionary says they’re from Brooklin/Brooklyn…… hipster band much?

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mgmt

    They HAIL from Brooklyn… haHHAHHhahah this shit is funny.

    • Add a few more black people and you’d have a Tommy Hilfiger commercial.

      Seriously, what clothing line is this advertising? They all look like they got their disheveled look at the mall. And the crappy music is like a fucking Menthos commercial.

      Funny, for all the Mac technology, hipsters have yet to produce something as low tech as this:

      Of course, that would involve hard work, co-ordination, imagination, real talent and good direction. None of which any hipster seems to possess.

  12. Fleet Foxes
    Helplessness Blues lyrics:

    I was raised up believing
    I was somehow unique
    Like a snowflake, distinct among snowflakes,
    Unique in each way you can see.

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