The ‘artists’ have met and come to a decision.
Posted: February 21, 2012 Filed under: Main 136 Comments »“On Thursday, January 19, members of the Bushwick art scene convened at the Bogart Salon, a recently opened gallery space, to discuss the future of the neighborhood and the artists’ relationship with the neighborhood’s pre-existing population.”
That was taken from this article:
Link: The Eye – Burgeoning in Bushwick
God, I can’t stand these fucking artists already. These fucking midwestern Buddy Holly beardos and filthy Eurotrash poseurs all claiming to be artists looking for “cheap and affordable” studios and galleries. I don’t buy it. I also don’t buy for one second that they care about the neighborhoods they are passing through as the years go by.
DUH!!! Like it’s not known by now that the trend is – A) So-called ‘artists’ move in. Then B) The place becomes ‘cool’, prices skyrocket and normal people are forced out. Everyone knows this by now so why do these fucking artists continue to plow through then wonder what’s going on? Fuck that shit. Just stop being artists already. Give it up already you not-starving phonies. Playtime is over. Let us normal people live. This city is so saturated with completely worthless, shitty and kindergarten-like art that it could last 5 lifetimes. Most of it has to dissipate before new and good art can be made and noticed. Just look at these fucking old baseballs (from the article) being displayed as art. Are you kidding me? You mean any person can clear out their garage – find some dirty and torn baseballs and call themselves artists? A-FUCKING-J-O-K-E I tell you. Ahh, but here is the catch. If your name is Joey or Mike, look like you bathe regularly, wear normal clothes, live in Queens or southern Brooklyn and don’t have a beard or moustache – then you are simply holding an old baseball. On the other hand – if your name is Lance, Zack or Hanz, you wear women’s jeans, filthy sneakers, a zany hat, have a bedbug beard and talk through your nose – then you are holding a masterpiece in your hands.
I worry so much that these fucking ‘artists’ will crawl along the L train line all the way down to Canarsie then swing back around to southern Brooklyn – dragging thousand upon thousands of hip/yups with them. These people produce nothing. They don’t educate, help sick people, make useful products, create jobs – nothing. All they do is worry about the next 25′ X 15′ white space they will be able to hang their fucking paint splatters in while eating local rooftop kale and drinking $6.00 coffee.
to discuss the future of the neighborhood and the artists’ relationship with the neighborhood’s pre-existing population.”
Perfect. Mommy & Daddy bought a ‘pre-owned’ Lincoln and they are discussing – what – a “Final Solution” for the ‘pre-existing’ population of Bushwick?
I hate these @ssclowns.
I hate ‘em, too.
Those fuckers view the “pre-existing population” as nothing more than uncultured rubes.
The “art” of the creatively bankrupt. In 10-20 years they’ll deny having anything to do with this schlock.
But we have the foresight. May the acidic tongue of ridicule cast them in their proper light!
Oh, they’ll be proud of being involved with this. Back in Dogfelcher Falls, they’ll brag endlessly to anyone within shouting range about how they brought Art to poor beknighted New York, and how they Made A Difference. True, all of their “art” will be in the garbage about five minutes after they move back home, but they’ll be certain that it’ll show up in the Met any day now.
Reminds me of the inbred dolts who show up at the Rockerfeller Center when Kings of Leon are performing live on AM New York. Then, back in Big Tuna, they brag about their great pilgrimage to the Big Apple for the next 40+ years.
“Maw Maw, you won’t believe it! New York has buildings TWO STORIES HIGH! They even have indoor shitters, too!”
“pre-existing population” ? Arrogant waste products. These fucks can’t even pretend to care with any competence. Burgeoning maggot colony….. Instead of discussing “the future”. Maybe the “pre-existing” residents can go into their basements, get some brickbats and re-enact a performance piece of 19th century head bashing
And in related news, here’s the latest Portland attraction sure to wend its way to Brooklyn and elsewhere:
http://hosted2.ap.org/TXDAM/66bc2f9a3d2c4fefb75ef3e307414255/Article_2012-02-21-Portland%20Bike%20Craziness/id-4948d97975164f0a97c23926a7420970
Yeah, it’ll end about the way you expect. Thirtysomething Joshes from all over will “compete” at beating on each other with boffer swords until someone’s either critically hurt or killed. At that point, the helicopter parents swoop in, suing everyone in sight for not protecting their widdle snowflake’s best interests. If not for that, I’d be all for this, because it would be a great way to keep the hipster population under control. Broken ribs or tetanus: your choice.
Actually, this sounds like quite a bit of fun! I am always amazed by how creative and innovative Americans are. What is wrong for young people to have some fun in a new way?
Nice try, apologist. If they were taste-testing dog shit, you’d probably clap your little hands together in glee that they were expanding their horizons on consuming non-food resources.
too funny- I can’t stop laughing
They do that already. It’s called the Mast Bros.
Don’t insult dog shit like that. You’ll hurt its feelings by comparing it to Mast Brothers chocolate.
Sorry. Forgot political correctness.
That’s not political correctness. That’s called “basic respect for a superior culinary experience”.
This looks like yet another classic example of how these manginas are trying to do something real men used to do and failing miserably. They’ve probably been watching too many Spartacus reruns.
I mean think about it. Not in a million years would they have the muscles to even lift a real sword and wield it, so instead they choose to just play fight with foam. I wonder if one of them gets hurt will his parents sue? Oh right, you know they will.
Wish I was an artist in a particular way. I’d make many works revealing the “truths” behind them all. They’d hate me for not being part of the collective herd: a controversial renegade within the community, hopefully furthering my artistic point of them being trendy lemmings.
Then again, I could. Since not knowing what you’re doing and poor quality is highly valued in artwork, I might become successful. I’m sure taking a dump on rice krispy treats would be riveting stuff! Probably interpreted by them as some rebellion against nostalgia and home, and I’d be hailed a genius.
From the cited article: “Artists are like the cockroaches of the economic world.”
Perfect – couldn’t have said it better myself.
The only ones worse than living off their parents’ money are the ones getting subsidies and grants.
As an artist, I refuse either.
Their leader. Hrag Vartanian, is from Syria. Clearly there are problems there that need fixing, he has to fix my culture. You can Google his photo, you won’t be surprised
I am from France and reading this blog. Believe it or not, I found this site from a link that was posted on an IRC channel for Anonymous. It seems that these young people are artists on the leading edge of American art and culture. Why can you not accept them? They would seem to enhance your city and have brought new things that didn’t previously exist. There is a gourmet chocolat store that gets quite good reviews from a number of publications – even the New York times. They are called The Mast Brothers Chocolat. It seems that you would want high quality stores and an influx of new people and ideas and art, no? There is a saying in french: Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose. It means, the more that changes, the more it’s the same thing. You will no doubt see this after a generation or two.
You are from France. Not from Brooklyn. End of story. Please take all the “leading edge” artists off of our hands. Please.
Why is it that you would not want artists and new people. Is not this is the story of New York and America? I am planning a trip this summer to New York and will be excited to see your area. It is well known in Europe about Williamsburg. Perhaps some of the artists are young and inexperienced, perhaps some truly do not have talent, but overall your city would be poorer without them.
Poor*er* doesn’t necessarily mean poor. When rents go from $750 to $1500 in a matter of a few years because some bearded nasally talentless fuck comes from Missikota to find himself using his parents credit card – I tend to get mad.
Unfortunate, yes, but it is simple economics. This will happen anywhere. Perhaps the local people who have been there for generations can take advantage of this by buying property and renting it to these newcomers. Surely there is an opportunity to make money from the situation.
I don’t know Holden, NYC has done pretty good for a long time with out these phony “artists”. The phonies have been here a while, please point out some of their “art” that will transcend their generation. Here is one who was described a a genius. Please tell me how this is great:
http://mathieulefevre.com/
There is a saying my father used all the time whe the discussion turned to the arts: De gustibus non est disputandum. I means that there will not be a disputing of tastes – or better put in this context, matters of taste cannot be disputed. Up to a point, though. I don’t care for this person’s “art”, if you could call it that. Nor do I care for old, flayed baseballs passed off as art. I’m sure that I will see some art of true value when I come to New York this summer. Surely you can find a way to get along, no? Some of the language in this blog is so vitriolic. How can you expect to get along when you call these young newcomers such nasty names? They are people too – just like you.
You’re begging me to say “fuck you, you stupid hipster apologist” aren’t you?
Why would you do that? I am just making some valid points and having a conversation. I like America and Americans. Yours is a country of many types of people. In a few generations, your neighborhood wil have completely assimilated these newcomers. This is how it always happens in your country. Why fight it? Find where the opportunities are in all of this. No hard feelings?
I was born here and I don’t like invaders. I fight back. Being French you don’t feel the same way.
We have had to assimilate people from many nations here. There have been challenges, but we are proud of our multi-culturalism, as are you, I’m sure.
You really need to read the FAQ section.
Steven, give us a break. I’m from Portugal, a European like yourself and as such your tolerant towards the phony artsy types is something I can understand, though I cannot relate with it. The thing is, no self-respecting artist lives off their parents’ credit cards. The Montmartre bunch from the 20s (like Picasso, Dalí etc) which I think is one of the reasons you have in mind for giving them the benefit of doubt, for one thing had talent – did not endlessly repeat the same worn-off “ironic” formula. Second, they mostly lived in poverty and actually had to undergo real ordeals for their art – nothing screams artistic commitment louder than eating dog food for non-ironic purpuses. And third, they didn’t go on whining about corporations and consummerism while using iphones and buying vintage clothes at the price of feeding a whole village in Ethiopia for a month per t-shirt.
This guys have the right to defend their home borrough from gentrification. I’m not sure if they’ll ultimately succeed, because it’s the majority’s will against a few moron parents’ bucks (this should make the alarm sound in the heads of those “Occupy” kids, because is downright undemocratic and it’s the 1% of Brooklyn driving the other 99% out though rent rise).
“It is well known in Europe”.
Dont Americans/New Yorkers/ admire European sophistication and culture. But at the same time Europeans are admiring williamsburg?
This shit is ass backwards.
Sadly it’s true. Every second Berlin hipster has a second flat in Billyworld. (Paid for by Vater und Mutter of course).
Remember how Cartman and the French loved the Jerkoffasaurs?
HERROO STEVIE!!!!
Pretending to be French now? – I don’t think so. I think your bandmates from high school are still laughing at you. So is your boyfriend when he remembers how small your pee-pee is.
I am from France. Your admin can easily traceroute my IP and tell you that this is true. I have no reason to play games here. And, if you will read further down, you will see that I have come to an understanding of your site’s premise after having read your FAQ and reading many other posts. Save your scorn for those that you believe deserve it. It is not my intent to anger the long-time residents of your neighborhood.
Ok Ed. Later kid.
“We have had to assimilate people from many nations here. There have been challenges, but we are proud of our multi-culturalism…”
Hey, “Steven”, I’ve been meaning to come back from the dead and talk to you guys about how that is working out.
You bring the beer, and well kick it around while we roast roast frankfurters over the nearest burning car.
So we have an apologist who likes to follow Anonymous.
Has anyone on here read that really popular European trilogy of books about an Anonymous hacker?
“The Boy with the Pizza Complexion”
“The Boy who Played with Anime Dolls”
“The Boy who Lived in his Parents’ Basement”
Apparently they had to change the title of the first one when they translated it – they thought it was a bit too direct: “Men who Can’t Talk to Women.”
Sir, to quote myself from the reply to this thread above your comment: “I have no reason to play games here. And, if you will read further down, you will see that I have come to an understanding of your site’s premise after having read your FAQ and reading many other posts. Save your scorn for those that you believe deserve it. It is not my intent to anger the long-time residents of your neighborhood.”
I am not a boy. I am a 50 year old man. A military veteran. I own a software company and an IT consultancy that provides security advice. I spend a good bit of time monitoring Anonymous IRC channels, as does your own FBI and homeland security. I have found that many people on sites such as this make uninformed, unfounded assumptions about others who post. How it is that you come to these conclusions is a mystery. It certainly defies logic since there is no clear path to your conclusion from the very reasoned ‘devils advocate’ point of view that I have taken.
Just because I ask some noob kinds of questions does not make me an apologist for anyone. However, based on your reply, there are some conclusions that I could come to about you and your way of thinking. I will, however, reserve them since I am not in the habit of making ad hominem attacks on people whom I have never met. Good day, sir.
If those are your reasons for mentioning Anonymous, then I take back the accusation and apologise for that. It’s a joke I had wanted to crack on here for a while.
In that case, though, you should understand that the group we criticise on here is very similar in attitude to the group you are fighting. They come from the same culture and share many of the same qualities:
- Automatically supporting anyone who labels themselves as an “underdog” regardless of whether or not they deserve support.
- Believing that anything they do is justified, as long as it’s done in the name of being alternative and quirky, or out of hatred for people they think are well-adjusted.
- Cowardly, passive and underhanded means of subtly bullying others, followed by making an excuse that they were bullied themselves.
- Thinking the more you repeat a bad joke, the funnier it gets.
- Wanting attention at any cost, even if it’s negative attention.
- Taking advantage of the shorter attention span caused by Internet use as a way of getting attention for things that really shouldn’t warrant it.
- Fixation upon tacky, childish subject matter (anime in the case of Anonymous) and taking a perverse pride in it.
- Openly tolerating quite extreme racism among their ranks, despite claiming to be liberal in outlook, and seeing no contradiction about this.
- Choosing a lifestyle that involves deliberately portraying themselves as weak and immature, despite usually coming from comfortable backgrounds.
- Mindlessly defending everything on the Internet, and the most pathetic aspects of Internet culture, because without Internet culture they would be nothing.
If you are who you say you are, then dealing with people like this is basically your day job. The same attitude, taken out of the basement and onto the streets, is what gives us hipsters.
One group hangs around on a borderline-paedophilic website and finds a way to give epilepsy advice sites a flashing background. The other hangs around “trendy” parts of major cities and finds a way to charge people £14 for breast milk ice cream and $12 for chocolate with beard hair in it. Then they both claim to be pushing the boundaries and making deep social statements.
They are as contemptible as one another.
I understand this. It is not unknown phenomena. It is called narcissism. Forget all of the psychoanalytic or psychological definitions; refer to the Greek Myth of Narcissus who saw his reflection and fell in love with it. As I have read it on this site, “LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEE.” It exists here , too.
When I see a 20-30 year old wearing the pants of a woman, I want to smack the smirk off of his face. Yes we have these effeminate little man-child-girls here. But they have not so much made a noticible impact on our company of our area.
I am afraid that this phenomena is a product of a bastardization of culture in every industrialized country. I am of the opinion that if every male at the age of 18 were made to do their military duty, there would not be, as you say, such “pussification” of young men. Fire weapons, sleep in the mud, serve on the ground and fight along side your comrade. Again, as you say, “Man up”!
My last word on the matter, off topic as it is; Why did Whitney have to die? Bobby Brown is the shit-ass crack monger that deserves an ignominious end. Whitney surely deserves better… RIP
Oh you’re an expert on Bobby and Whitney now too? What the fuck do you know about crack or any of thier music??
So I guess your lesson for us “americans” (that’s assuming you’re really french, which I seriously doubt) is that it’s not okay to judge hipsters or “artists”, but it is okay to judge brown people??? Because they did some drugs?
FYI every hipster I ever met had a coke habit that was probably close to that of Whitney’s, and they’d all love to be able to do as much blow as Bobby did. But they can’t as easily justify spending their parents’ money on drugs. Plus most drug dealers don’t take ATM cards from the local professor’s credit union in Pencilfuck Utah…
Further clarification: I am not in the habit of making ad hominem attacks on those I do know, either.
I found it funny you brought this one up…I just picked up the 3rd book today or the series you are referring to. Every time I was reading one of the books, some hipster would ask me if I ever saw the Swedish movies based on the book.
I’m from France too and currently living in New York after 7 years spent in Montreal. A thing you have to know about French youth is that the vast majority of it (and I mean the VAST majority) still think there is nothing else than art in life. Most of them have absolutely no fucking idea of what is going on outside their self-centered world. These little snobby poseurs usually study history, letters or art for years before finally flipping burgers at the local fast food restaurant. Thing is, university in France is free. And since the country is largely socialist, everything is paid. So basically these fucksters who don’t know shit about shit can brag about how educated they are, while doing STRICTLY NOTHING out of their lives (beside annoying ze normal people). How do I know that ? Because I used to live there and study letters myself before understanding what was going on…
I crossed an ocean and settled in Montreal with my wife (girlfriend at the time), thinking the place would be slightly different. It was different for a while, but this European snobby way of life soon catch up. I’m serious here. Montreal is a fucking hipster dump. One of the worst kind. I mean, it’s sometimes even worst than Williamsburg here. Same gentrification – old neighborhoods historically filled with working-class immigrants and honest people who just wanted to make a living, becoming the center of unicycling contests and locally grown soya eating parties. Same countryside motherfuckers (except here they are named Louis-Philippe or Marie-Pierre instead of Josh or Zoey) coming to the vibrant city, hoping to educate us.
Anyway, I decided to cross the border and go to New York. Could have been another city actually, but happens I had a job waiting for me there and that I already did live in the city a couple years sooner. Plus, well, it’s New York. And man, I don’t regret being here. Not a single second. Comes a times when you simply accept the astronomic rents I guess. But what I am not ready to accept is Ethan the cow-raiser staring smugly at me while I eat a sandwich in the park and telling his lesbianic girlfriend “I can’t believe, like, these people, like, still can’t understand like that they are eating is bad for them”. Fuck you, fucking fuck. I eat what I wanna eat. I like me some greasy, fat, industrial sandwich from time to time. You don’t fucking tell me how to eat – I’m fucking French, goddamn it. What I am not ready to accept is some fedora-hatted guy trying to explain a tourist how Brooklyn is so cool, and how the underground artsy community has helped define how it is now.
So NO, dude, NO, ces enfoirés ne sont pas au “leading edge of American culture”. They are just the same poseurs you can see in Paris, or Amsterdam, or anywhere else in the Western world. They don’t do art. They fucking pee in cans and call this performances. They just take Instagram pics and think they are original, adorably quirky, nerdily insanes, you name it. They just play games. They are not interesting or audacious. They are nothing like Jack Kerouac’s beat generation who at least had some thinking besides the look-at-me attitude. And Steven, if you think they define New York, or America, if you plan on coming here only to see how cool their revolutionary actions are, you should maybe consider staying in France. Art and culture still exist in here. Of course they do. But hipsters don’t represent it. There’s plenty else to see in New York.
Long rant, but thought it could be interested having another French guy opinion here. Also, first post after a long time reading this blog.
Amen.
Great rant. Welcome.
Also applies here. Well said.
I always love watching French movies late at night on PBS or CUNY TV. Always the same shit. A bunch of “artists” driving around the countryside, looking for the meaning of life (and usually killing a few people in the process) or exploring “amour” or something, always spouting some philosophy (about why work is evil so they don’t ever work).
BUT NEVER WORKING.
I don’t know. Maybe I should learn French and move to France so I don’t have to work either.
*stands up and applauds*
Oh and welcome.
While reading through the article I got the mental image of a bunch of Nazi officers standing around a large map. Hitler points to Poland and utters, “so vhat do vee do about zeez “people”? how do vee feex ziss “culture”?
I found this article to be absolutely vile. This isn’t about art – it’s about social engineering.
In my local mall there’s an artist who has maintained a shop for about ten years.
He does a few landscapes and still lifes but most of his business comes from portraits.
So here we have a fine artist – making an excellent living – who has a shop in a mall-
In NEW JERSEY. Same goes for my dad’s cousin. He’s a butcher for Key Foods
and has a profitable side business doing murals. He lives in Staten Island.
Jackson Pollock painted in a run down farm house in the most desolate part of the Hamptons, for cripe’s sake.
I am confounded by this need for artists to have all of the stereotypical window treatments (loft, urban surroundings, etc) in order to be creative. In this day and age you could create art anywhere in the world and send photos to a gallery via e-mail. A friend of the family who lives in Bensonhurst has a daughter who fancies herself an artist. Daddy fixed up the attic, installed heating and A/C so she could have a place to “create”. Six months later she moved to Williamsburg (on daddy’s dime) because she simply cannot be “creative” in Bensonhurst.
I understand the need for artists to have access to cheap rents (although I know several artists who have mortgages and support families by doing anything – web sites, portraits, restaurant menus, etc) to earn cash.
Unfortunately, artists are the flare that goes up to tell all the d**chebags “hey move here if you want to make a killing in real estate”. But they’re not the only ones to blame.
Enabling helicopter parents aside, I blame the watered down curriculums of most liberal arts colleges. I also take issue with the overpriced “Art Institute” franchises found in every major city in the USA. Thanks to situation delusional types with the IQ of a hermit crab can get a BFA or MFA in “art. Subjects like composition, anatomy are a thing of the past. Show me one artist living in Bushwick who can accurately render the human form. Anyone?
This is phase one. Phase two is when Zander and Zeke degrees in hand need part of a community of artsy trustafarians.
Then the poseurs, hipsters and other weak minded individuals start migrating into the community. But hey – weak minded people have been around for centuries (how else do you explain, tulip mania and Pet Rocks?). I blames f**cking art critics. These are the real criminals here. They tell others what they’re supposed to like and why.
Finally, the above mentioned leeches, lacking any sort of talent or skill are so desperate to be part of the creative coomunity that they embark on half baked ventures, like vegan
Egg cream shoppes, sustainable clothes hangers collectives and cupcake flavored bacon.
We are f**cking doomed. Centuries ago in order for you to be a member of the upper class you had to be well educated in the arts. When you had a house or a piece of furniture built it was done to your specifications. You had to know your sh*t because people judged you on these things. You had to know what ‘GOOD” was.
Anyway. I’m preaching to the choir here. I’m just pissed off. Sorry for the long and pointless rant.
We should be using the term “artist” with quotation marks to refer to these people/pests. That way, we don’t confuse the poseurs and fauxhemians with the real artists or talented folk. As much as I like Jonathan Larson’s “RENT”, is it partially to blame for attracting the Fauxhemians to NYC where they can be more “creative”?
Funny, I know plenty of really great artists out there and they all live tucked away in some suburb somewhere, unknown and with talent that could wipe the floor with every hipster in Billyworld. Sadly, if they even dared to exhibit their work in Billyworld or SoHo, they’d be eaten alive and shunned by the truly talentless.
Hey, when I was 10, I wanted a Pet Rock! Then again, I was 10. Which was the age they were meant to appeal to. IMO.
Which is the problem with these hipsters. Thanks to helicopter parents, they never seem to have aged past the age of 10 emotionally. They are socially and emotionally crippled and anything new to them, such as the native population, is scary. God forbid they actually say hi to people on the street. Or be friendly to shop keepers. These people are weird and scary and from here. They are above it all, they have Macs, while we’re all puttering away on PCs.
Which leads me to a story of this weekend. February in Las Cruces is art month and has been for like 40 years. New Mexico has always attracted lots of artists. The shop where I work on weekends was hosting a fractal group. Come in, pick a design and they would do a fractal for you to take home. Not one of them was using a Mac. I made a joke to them about it and boy, did I get an earful. How 15 or 20 years ago, yeah, Macs were superior for graphics work. But that was back in the 90s and now PCs do a much better job, especially with fractals. They even used the words religion and cult when talking about Mac owners. These artists do gorgeous work and at least one of them will get far more hits on Google than any of the trustifarians who fancy themselves as artists.
Basically, these hipster types are like the armies of the old west. They want to send the natives of Brooklyn down a trail of tears to where? Oh who knows, just as long as they get them out of the neighborhoods their families have been in for decades. Then they will go home to their midwest flyover states and impress the luncheon crowd with their NY adventure. Or, they’ll move here and get laughed out of town.
Oh I’m totally with you on the Art Institutes, they are probably the worst art schools in the world or at least certainly the most notorious. They scam their students, have teachers who have no industry experience or teachers that don’t even show up to teach, often their curriculum is completely outdated as well. I feel bad for the few hard working students that go there expecting to actually be taught well.
Though most of the Ai graduates I meet are completely insufferable and delusional about the quality of their work, and they throw tantrums when someone tries to critique their work. God, it gives me a headache thinking about the frustrating conversations I have had with Ai graduates.
“For Vartanian, the shift to Bushwick can be attributed almost entirely to the surging real estate prices in Williamsburg”
Oh gee, how the fuck did that happen? It’s like a goddamned mystery. I see SwampYankee was the first to comment on that article.
Spelling..arrrgh..sorry.
Our favorite chocolate makers have a new video:
http://vimeo.com/36449806
Go to the site and they have one of the Lice Bros. conquering South America and educating the natives.
I see they fired Special Edd.
and replaced him with this guy:
the creation
and
capturing of
material
in motion
and sometimes
still
http://conorhagen.com/
Warning: Flash content that takes time to load and may crash your browser.
or,
the insertion
of
line breaks
randomly
in sentences
with no
punctuation
thinking
it makes them
e.e.cummings
poems
maybe?
No, no no… The pah-ho-sa-heur that would pretend to be an acolyte of E.E. Cummings could not even begin to understand the poetry of E.E. Cummings, let alone the wordsmith-ery, the Shakesperian mastery of English language, syntax, and puctuation. I wager that there is no one on your borough (no offense intended) who could wield the English language like Cummings.
To parapharase a line from the movie Full Metal Jacket: “All F’Ing Hipsters Must F’Ing Die”
Here was my comment to the jerks post unless it gets deleted. How did I do?
Hello,
I am one of the “pre-existing population”. I’d call myself a “non-artist” but I have sold a photo or two and have been published. Guess what? I was born a here and I don’t really like being called “pre-existing population”. Do you realize regular people actually are born, live and work here and you treat us like we were some kind of inferior species? Considering whats going on in your native country of Syria you have a hell of a lot of nerve coming here and talking to the folks born herein this manner. We were here before your little artist collective, and we will be here when you have moved on to the next shiny neighborhood. To be clear to you and your fauxhimion hipster friends who think you are bringing us culture. We hate you. We hate you and your sumg attitude. We would be most happy if you just moved along. If it’s all about rents please, you can find big, affordable spaces in Staten Island or New Jersey or Long Island. But that is not hip enough, or trendy enough or cool enough. It has to be Brooklyn so people will assigned you some ill-gotten “street creditably” Don’t do us any favors. You have no idea what is like to be be born here and to watch trash like you move in and pretend you are better. You are like locust, you take and take and take and then move along. You think that you are leaving us your art? Thanks, I have enough scuffed baseballs in the garage. Perhaps spend a little time getting to know us before you complain about having to settle for us just because you got pushed out of the zip code next door. For gods sake it’s a 5 minute walk and you you make it sound like you were ethnically cleansed. You are disgusting. Go home. You are not wanted hipster. I hope this comment will do some good, but I’ve dealt with your type all too much lately. It’s like me playing chess against a pigeon. No matter how good I am, you will knock the pieces over, crap on the board and strut around like you are victorious. Thanks for nothing
Lol. That was great.
“It’s like me playing chess against a pigeon. No matter how good I am, you will knock the pieces over, crap on the board and strut around like you are victorious. Thanks for nothing”
Favorite part!
I never thought it would be possible to say this about someone who spouts as much crap as Hrag does, but he actually comes off as the reasonable one in that article compared to that Hopkins guy who says shit like this:
“Any- body could have come in [to Bushwick], but artists did. Did I disenfranchise someone, or did I do something worthy?”
He seems like the sort of guy who’d have this etched on his tombstone, but if it isn’t I’ll be first in line to spray paint it there.
“Located southeast of the oft-stereotyped Williamsburg, Bushwick is rapidly becoming the place for a myriad of MFA students to create art, build studios, found nonprofits, and open galleries”
——————————–
Build STUDIOS ??????? Whatttt??? The landlords own the space and rents the Studio space to these Yuppi / Hipsters. The Yupps and including the Landlord by state of law in NY State they are not allowed to build shit and disobey zoning laws.
Oh, and along that line, April Winchell at Regretsy kindly presented the face of the Enemy, at least as far as Etsy’s douchebaggery is concerned:
http://www.regretsy.com/2012/02/21/fish-rots-from-the-head/
I have to ask: do these shitheads all go out of their way to perpetuate every last hipster cliche, or do they really think that they’re being unique individuals by looking, acting, and thinking exactly the same?
No, they’re naturally shallow and uncreative.
I have read the FAQ. I am remiss for not having done so first. I can see why you would be angry with these people. But I really have to ask, not having been there myself, is it really as bad as all that? I’ve looked through the blog and I certainly see a lot of pretentious people, but in a borough with a population of over 2M people, are they that big a nuisance? Is their population that large or so densely gathered in one locale as to be such an annoyance? I have to say, I’m really intrigued to see these people up to all of the annoying things you talk about. I am amused by many of the opinions I read here. The story of this post I can see would be offensive – to talk about the life long residents, calling them “pre-existing population” as if you couldn’t hear them saying this. Yes, this is pretty arrogant. I certainly wouldn’t have the bad manners to go to someone else’s country or town and talk about the residents as ‘others’ to be somehow dealt with. It makes it sound as if they have some plan to ‘deal’ with you. Are they building internment camps for you? HaHa…
You really have no idea what you’re talking about, do you?
Actually i think he finally gets it.In a room full of 400 people the one hipster makes himself stand out so they are really as bad as we make them sound.
Awesome take down of the Etsy creative director. Calls the place “International House of Cupcakes”. Must see photo:
http://www.regretsy.com/2012/02/21/fish-rots-from-the-head/
What a douchenozzle. ‘Creative’ ‘Director’? really?
http://randyjhunt.com/about
Listen to this freak talk.
Why do I bet money that people called him “Mike” when he was in high school and college?
I also want to quote Garth Ennis when I see his picture. “YOU! Where the FUCK is your chin?”
He probably has no chest either. (Cue C.S. Lewis reference.)
He’s so proud of his appearance on a children’s game show that he lists it on his resume? Yeah, these are really the “artists on the leading edge of American art and culture” as the French guy above describes them…please.
His skin is like one of those salamanders that live deep in a cave and never has seen light. And those arms, balsa wood has more density.
I’m waiting to see if he catches insects with his tongue when he eats.
Tex, you owe me a new keyboard.
Pale, albino skin. Thick filaments around the neck. Pipestem limbs. No chin. Yep, I think we have a positive ID:
http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/information/Eurycea_rathbuni.html
I love this part, the mating habits of the hipster, er, I mean salamander:
Little is known about the reproduction of Eurycea rathbuni. The species is known to be acyclic with females maturing and reproducing throughout the year, unresponsive to seasonal cues. This breeding cycle is typical of many cave dwelling species (Lofts 1974). Breeding of this species has been observed in the laboratory. The females assumes an active role in stimulating the male to mate. Her behavior is characterized by rubbing her chin along the male’s back. If this fails to stimulate the male then she may scratch at him or fan her tail at him. She may even resort to nipping at his sides if he further ignores her advances. The male will deposit a spermatophore on a rock or substrate and the female will then pick it up with her cloaca
Sounds like a Village Voice personals night, doesn’t it? Or at least a Gothamist employee meet-and-greet. “Uh…that’s not a spermatophore in my pants. I just dumped a thirty-pound shit, and I can’t get my ‘ex-girlfriend pants’ off to scrape it out.”
“Cave dwelling species” Is that where hipsters come from?
I know somebody just posted this in the last forum but it makes me wish torpedoes were legal.
http://shantyboatliving.com/2012/raft-adventure-law/
A vintage story from 2009: Claire Boucher and William Gratz had their sights set on the southern reaches of the Mississippi River when they packed their chickens, a sewing machine and 20 pounds of potatoes into a houseboat they crafted from scratch.
Calling themselves Veruschka and Zelda Xox, river names worthy of the grand adventure they envisioned, the young couple pushed off from the riverbank in north Minneapolis the first week of June.
But their journey ended only a few miles downstream after engine trouble and a three-week tangle with the cops. The Minneapolis park police trailed them from river bank to river bank, as Boucher and Gratz tried to get their boat in working order, often tying up to trees and hopping ashore to gather supplies from Craigslist and hardware stores.
Meet Claire Boucher aka Grimes.
JUST when I think something is so nauseating it can’t be topped, sure enough, a dedicated DH reader posts something to create a new vomit summit. Listen to this chuckle-head prattle on, 25 “likes” a minute…
“Skulls and stuff…I like working with things that are pretty cliche…especially like metal imaginary, like…I like looking up like metal fonts. Like I really like them”. Like ya…like, totally…ya…
It’s amazing to be in college and yet dressing like a 14-year old who cuts themselves.
Didn’t DH pretend to be a girl called Zelda on a Fishing for Hipsters post a couple of months ago? I love how they’re so unique that we can beat them to their own ideas.
(Can we have another Fishing post soon by the way? Love those.)
I swear I think Craiglist is blocking me. I tried posting one last week and this week – the same one. Both times it says congrats it’s been posted but the posting never appears. Weird. I might have to get one of you readers to post it and then forward me the replies.
I’m more than willing to help out. You have my e-mail.
use HideMyAss VPN and select one of their servers in Manhattan. You have to pick a server close to the CL city in which you are posting or they will ask for a phone # to send you a confirmation text. You can get a VPN account for about $12/month or $78/year. Their VPN service is is fast enough that you’ll never notice any loss of speed. And havin a VPN is just an all around good thing to have security-wise. VPN + CL = excellent skullduggery oportunities. I’ll leave it to your imagination all the things you can do. Also, use HushMail.com or 10minutemail.com for disposable email addresses.
Reboot your router until it gives you a new IP address.
Many have a menu with a button labelled “Renew Internet Lease”, or something similar.
Delete cookies.
I use VYPVPN. Unforgettably no NYC. Got England, Germany, DC, LA, Hong Kong, London (Streaming BBC folks!) and Paris France. Yes DH, Paris, I can spoof France.
(snipped irrelevant parts)
Content prohibited from craigslist includes but is not limited to: (5) false or fraudulent content (including but not limited to false, fraudulent or misleading responses to user ads transmitted via craigslist);
Probably CL has blacklisted your IP address because posting fake stuff on CL violates their terms of use.
Admittedly, the responses to your fake adverts are funny, but CL has every right to block you from using their service.
This girl represents everything that is wrong with “art” today. It’s untalented cunts like her that get the recognition and gallery space, while real artists are (usually) ignored.
I can feel the bile rising within me. She’s in her fifth year of what? Warming a seat? Being an undercover Goth? Printing and posting the shit she doodled on her Etch-A-Sketch on the wall in the hallway? She drones on endlessly about how where she is and whatever she’s doing sucks, and yet she doesn’t have the gumption to take up a useful career as a futon or a hooker or a disease victim or something, She is NOT an artist, she is a complete waste of space. If she was my kid I’d beat her ass until it fell off.
Thanks – I needed to vent.
Classic DH screed! I could feel that one was direct from the heart.
“Getting ahead in the art world entails knowing what’s new, what’s different, what’s the next big thing.”
I understand being influenced (to a point), but the thesis of the article seems to be that artists need to live in a collective hive, navel-gazing at the physical manifestations of each other’s brain-spasms in order to be creative. All they do is copy someone’s copy, who copied someone’s copy, and so on. The truly creative, as mentioned above, could be creative in the middle of Staten Island or even North Dakota for that matter. Of course, the “cool crowd” in Williamsburg would then say that if that person was a real artist, he would live in Williamsburg, Austin or Portland. So not only art becomes more about what it “means” and not about the aesthetic, it also becomes defined by where it is made.
When everything is art, nothing is.
Those baseballs are art? They’re not from some Bedford Ave. adventure they took in the sewers, where they found baseballs, instead of ironic alligators to take home as pets, deciding the baseballs were from Ebbet’s Field? Well I for one am disappointed.
“These fucking midwestern Buddy Holly beardos….”
I grew up in the Midwest. In my labors travels all over the USA and Europe I would inevitably meet New Yorkers who, when they heard where I was from, would yap incessantly about how crappy the midwest was and then yammer away on the glories and marvels of NY. Especially annoying was the honking nasality of the accent I had to listen to. Brooklynese was the absolute worst.
And now, apparently lots of midwesterners heard the spiel, believed it, and migrated lemming-like eastward to fetch up in Brooklyn and annoy the bejesus out of the aborigines there.
Ha.
I got to unload on one of these quirky, creative types earlier today.
There’s a coffeehouse across the street from the college of nursing where I’m enrolled. This afternoon I ran over there to grab a quick double-shot before starting my afternoon lab and was met at the counter by some Meghan wearing foot-wide glasses and those typically disgusting bangs that accompany them. While waiting for my drink order i watched drop and break a ceramic demitasse spoon, pick up the pieces off the floor, handle a stack of well-used currency the owner gave her to put in the register and then FINISH PREPARING MY DRINK ORDER WITHOUT WASHING HER HANDS INCLUDING TOUCHING THE RIM OF THE CUP WITH HER DIRTY FUCKING FINGERS.
WHAT THE FUCK?????
She’d have wished R. Lee Ermey was the customer instead of me. Where do they find these people? In a fucking barn?
i try to stay away from ‘hipster’ places–i always end up with the squirts! oh, and they are barn yard people.
Its very disturbing to see a ironic mustache on the A at 8am. But its even more fun to play “Stare Down the Hipster Until He Moves To Another Car” on the A train at 8am.
Guess he didn’t change form the C that stopped at Kingston Throop?
Sadly no. Got on with me at Nostrand. But was running by Hoyt! Im not even one the “scary dark people” But I get size and clean shaven is just as scary to them.
AH I was just reminded of my commute on the G train last week.
I generally will take the G from Nassau to either Church Ave or 4th and 9th to transfer for the R.
I was around Fulton St. in the window seat. Fucking beardo who is sitting right behind me has his arm across the top of the seat, which now bumps into the back of my shoulders and neck. I forcibly straightened up my back and shoved against him while giving him the staredown via the window reflection. He promptly moved his arm and got off the next stop.
In all earnesty, hipsterism is a social contamination, that has become socially-acceptable. My belief is hipsters were spawned by the feminist movement. It reminds me of a pig owning a bacon factory. They have a feral kind of twinkle in their eyes. It is so dumb it causes pain. Hipsterism is not a fad, it is not a fashion. And people who detest hipsters are actually resisting against a sci-fi order of communism.
These damn hipsters GOT to GO
The only reason i cant see these wierdos moving to..lets say Marine Park,I just cant picture them living in a real house,a 3 floor house,fence,garden,car port house.It’s just not cool enough for a hipster.
Where’s your imagination? They’ll turn the house into a gallery and sleep in tents and treehouses outside. Like yah. And plenty of room in Marine park for kickball, cardboard tube sword fights, and fish taco trucks. Like, like yah.
Oh, trust me. If the money holds out, they’ll try. This usually happens when they’re in their forties, and they alternate between getting pissed off at the neighbors for making too much noise when they’re trying to sleep (you know, around 6 in the morning, when the neighbors are going to work) and shrieking in pants-wetting horror when they’re told “Die, hipster!” while prancing down the street. So it’s off to buy a real house, also with Dad’s money, but only if they’re allowed to paint the place purple and build “art installations” of old Goodwill toys in the front yard. This lasts until they’re either encouraged to move because of multiple code violations (including the band stage built illegally in the back for Sunday night jam sessions at midnight), or Dad runs out of cash and says “You know, Zevon, you’re 50 now, so shouldn’t you finally be financially responsible?” Then it’s a quick trip to Foreclosure City, because it’s unfair that semen artists should be expected to pay their bills.
Out here, I have to admit that I get more and more of a laugh out of the current trend toward reverse mortgages, because a lot of older homeowners out here are doing it so they can pay for their retirements. I know of one Zooey who was publicly bragging about how she was going to inherit her mom’s house when she died, and was even planning the parties she was going to hold when she finally got the place. Imagine her surprise when she discovered that Mom took out a reverse mortgage to pay for Zooey’s quirky restaurant fiasco five years ago, and the bank owned the house when Mom died.
Talk about quirky. Some people refuse to see what the end game could be with these losers. They’re like a swarm of locusts and they leave desturction in their wake.
I sometimes talk about a local area that’s been hipster-fied. The downtown was pretty much normal working class, very few vacancies and lots of foot traffic. Most of the businesses were there a long time.
Then the hipsters arrived. rents slowly started to escalate, the shot up. The established businesses moved out only to be replaced by yarn spinning collectives, cupcake shoppes, fair trade bead stores and Jedi tai Chi Light saber studios. Oh and the series of quirky resturants that opened in a spot that used to be a bank (you could dine in the vault – how kewl!)
One goofy business opened, shut only to be replaced by another. I guess The ‘copter parents got tired of funding their kids quirky fantasies and now most of the stores are empty. Downtown is dead since the locals now patronize the shops in the new locations.
“Imagine her surprise when she discovered that Mom took out a reverse mortgage to pay for Zooey’s quirky restaurant fiasco five years ago, and the bank owned the house when Mom died.”
Living well is the ultimate revenge…
Like taking artisanal cruelty free candy from a baby:
,
78th Precinct
Park Slope
Book worm
A jerk beat up a straphanger on an F train on Feb. 26.
The victim told cops he was holding an electronic book while riding a Manhattan-bound F train near Seventh Avenue and Ninth Street at 7:45 pm, when a man grabbed the gadget. The straphanger held on tight — but the thug then whacked him in the left eye and ran away with the $300 device.
———-
Mamma mia!
A rascal stole a wallet from a diner at a pizzeria on Third Avenue on Feb. 17.
The victim told cops that she set her purse on a table at Pizza Cotta Bene near Union Street at 3:10 pm, stepped away for a minute, and came back only to discover that it was gone — along with the brown leather wallet and credit cards inside.
————–
A thief jacked a laptop and credit cards from an apartment on Fifth Avenue on Feb. 17.
The victim told cops that she left her home near 11th Street at 7:50 am, came back at 6:50 pm, and noticed the lock on her front door ajar. That’s when she discovered her $1,200 silver MacBook and a Gap credit card were gone
The swashbuckling Mast Bros. arrive to enlighten the savages! And they come bearing gifts from the New World!
http://vimeo.com/31272415
Note the symbolic lifting of a sack of beans by the Lice Brothers.
Can’t count on the DR rebels to do any Gringo assassinations any more. What bullshit!
Serious prediction: gentrification in New York is going to stop and partly reverse within the next 10 years.
I’m not so sure about that. A lot of people are moving back to the city from the suburbs, if they don’t move out of New York entirely. There would have to be a massive crime reversal in NYC in order for that to happen. There’s only so much space in Manhattan to gentrify and Brooklyn’s proximity makes it a prime candidate for what’s next.
Why do hipsters now like Whitney Houston?
She’s cool again now that she’s just made the transition from mainstream to underground.
I had to trek through my old stomping grounds yesterday on my way to a dentist appointment. Hipsterfied lower NE. Some of you will recall my more personal posts in the past when I talked about how that area has changed in the last 10 years. From a blue-collar, mostly immigrant population, to straigh-up yup-ville and hipser playground. I bought my house about 6 years ago in another part of Minneapolis, partially because I couldn’t afford anything in my “hometown” anymore, but also because I went to high-school on the other side of the river and had a lot of good friends from there too.
So it’s 2:30p. On a Tuesday. I noticed on the way into the neighborhood that there was absolutely no parking available anywhere in any of the residential areas. Whether the block had houses, apartments, rowhouses — whatever. Cars parked everywhere.
Then I get into the business district, where there are still some apartments and condos but it’s mostly businesses, and there’s spots everywhere, meters, free spots, lots, ramps, you name it. Tons of real estate. I parked at a meter where I always do and proceeded towards my dentitst’s building.
Isn’t it safe to say that at 2:30p on a week day the vast majority of people are either working or coming or going from work? This is not a true 24/7 city like NYC. It’s more like 20/6 or something. So most of all employees work either first or second shift. I know that a lot of people are out of work right now, but quite honestly Minnesota’s unemployment is substantially less than it is in much of the rest of the country.
Also most of the folks I know who are actually from that neighborhood who are not working have already lost their homes to forclosure, and had to move to other neighborhoods or even to the burbs because they couldn’t afford the rents over there anymore either.
So I can’t believe that all those cars parked in front of all those homes were because of the economy. Maybe 20%. And maybe 20% more are extra vehicles that don’t get used real often. Give a very generous 10% of them to third shift workers, and we’re left with 50% staycationing hipster cars. (They WERE mostly Smarts and Subarus and Priuses…)
So I get inside, get my teeth cleaned, and then when I’m walking back to the truck I see maybe three “normal” people out of the about 50 that are now milling around. Not a single one that I recognized from school or growing up over there or anything. Two extremely disheveled heavyset folks waiting for a bus, and one jogger in all U of M gear who was pretty obviously a Student (the University of Minnesota’s main Twin Cities campus is only a couple of miles from there). Every one else was either a 50 year old hipster, a 30 year old yup, a 40 year old trendy, or an “artist”. All dressed the same. None of them making eye contact with anyone else. Fucking scared sheep on an urban adventure. Fucking disgusting.
Not sure if I have a point. Just wanted to share. I think not being able to afford a home over there six years ago was a blessing in disguise. I’d surely be locked up by now for beating the piss out of some of these assclowns if I still lived in that cesspool.
I guess my point is: I’m truely sorry and feel a small part of your pain if you actually grew up in Park Slope or Bushwick or Williamsburg or any other completely gentrified and unrecognizable area of BK. I can’t imagine where all these people are coming from but there seems to be no end to their arrivals…
Speaking of Park Slope…
“Do you live in Brooklyn? Do you drink coffee? Do you have a baby, and does it want its own coffee, too? If so, babyccinos, not to be confused with baby chinos, are for you…”
http://news.yahoo.com/introducing-babyccinos-latest-twee-brooklyn-trend-170952691.html
Does it want its own coffee too?
No, I don’t imagine it does.
It puts the coffee in its mouth or it gets the hose again.
“On Thursday, January 19, members of the Bushwick art scene convened at the Bogart Salon, a recently opened gallery space, to discuss the future of the neighborhood and the artists’ relationship with the neighborhood’s pre-existing population.”
Who do these pompous clowns think they are? Reinhard Heydrich?
They’re making it sound as if this were the Wansee Conference, or something.
Perhaps somebody should tell the New York Post or Daily News about this?
Seriously.
”Pre-existing population”.
Time to call these scumbag Hipsters the ”Pre-extinction population” then.
I can’t see this bullshit lasting without some class of revolt from the ”uncultured”.
Oh about ”art” by the way. You posted the first in a series of videos DH called ”Beauty” I think it was. Some ACTUAL artist destroying this pretentious ”modern” bullshit. There was a quote in it that fits brilliantly.
”Imagine walking through a junkyard and finding some work of art without it’s frame, signature or any explanation. The average person would instinctively rescue the Michelangelo, Schmid, Edgar Paine, Lyon etc from the scrapheap. It’s inate value would be obvious without anyone to tell them it didn’t belong beside garbage. Even the trained art critic would have trouble identifying the ‘modern’ art work from junk”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIVaTCRyblM Part two of that series you posted. Quote’s at the begining.
That reminds me of the video that someone posted not long ago about the same thing.
This guy was on point. Even if you only watch the first 5 mins of the 60 mins, everything he says is true.
Notably one of the quotes at the 6:15 mark:
“Art once made a cult of beauty, now we have a cult of ugliness instead. Since the world is disturbing, art should be disturbing too. Those who look for beauty in art are just out of touch with modern realities. Sometimes the intention is to shock us. But what is shocking the first time around, is boring and vacuous when repeated. This makes art into an elaborate joke though one that by now has ceased to be funny. But the critics go on endorsing it, afraid to say that the emperor has no clothes.”
“If art is nothing more than an idea, than anybody can be an artist, and any object can be a work of art. There is no longer any need for skill, taste or creativity.”
Thanks for this documentary. Great viewing while I had some dinner. Agreed with most of what he said.
Spoke very eloquently too.
I wonder what the hipsters would say about his tearing down of their bullshit ”art”.
”We’re looking for comments that are interesting and substantial. If your comments are excessively self-promotional, or obnoxious you will be banned from commenting. Consult the comment FAQ and legal terms.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Hipsters hate attention seeking and obnoxious behaviour? Since fucking when?
Well, they hate it when it’s directed against them. If those comments tickle their prostate, though, that’s okay.
No, not “just anyone” can display this stuff. It can only be done by one of them or else it’s not art.