Logan the horse writes in…..
Posted: February 18, 2012 Filed under: Main 74 Comments »Remember a few posts back I posted a video of horse-masked Logan and Asian girlfriend side kick Suzie playing the banjo and xylophone in the subway? Well somehow it got back to Logan and he’s a little upset about it and has asked me to delete it. His little sob story isn’t convincing me that he doesn’t have hipster tendencies or isn’t part of the whole hipster invasion. Here is his email to me:
Hello,
Somebody forwarded me your blog because it happens to have a video where I appear. I’m Logan, the horse, nice to meet you. I must say I don’t like hipsters either, but I can’t approve what you are writing about us, specially if you don’t know anything from our backgrounds. Both of us have been able to study in US because we had a scholarship and we went back to our countries every summer to work for four months in order to be able to afford expensive american rents. We don’t play in the subway for fun, you know? We are paying our rents with it. And do you think I like wearing that horse mask? It’s freaking hot inside there, and it smells awful. But sometimes people doesn’t have enough with music, so it’s good to make them laugh. Btw, about the Bushwick thing… you should know that even Buskwick’s rents are too expensive to us. I’m sharing an apartment with 4 more people, some of us even sharing the same room. I’m sleeping in a room without doors, connected to the kitchen; I sometimes got waken up by mices walking over my matress. And I’m hispanic, by the way. Anyway; would you PLEASE erase that video from youtube and delete the blog entry and comments about us?
Thanks
Dear Logan,
I do not feel sorry for you. It was your choice to go to school here. You must have done some research and known basically what your living conditions were going to be like. You say “even Bushwick’s rents are too expensive”. HA! You moron. Those have become some of the highest rents in the borough thanks to trustfunded try-hard hipsters and people who cram themselves into apartments like you do. You are just another invader that thinks Brooklyn is made up of two zip codes. Oh, and you also dislike hipsters?? As in you ARE NOT a hipster? Let’s see, you’re not a NY’er, you suck at music yet force it upon us in the subways, you live in Bushwick, weigh 85lbs and wear a horse mask for attention. Nope – not a hipster at all. Don’t worry Logan – as you get closer to your 30′s and stay in a big city like New York, you will soon be a coffee connoisseur, a foodie, a bike lane advocate, a writer, an artist and of course a musician. Then you’ll leave. So enjoy playing in our subways to pay your rent. (bullshit) I’ll continue enjoying exposing the hipster disease and at least keeping southern Brooklyn normal.
DH
Please feel free to respond to Logan in the comments section because you know he is now a diehipster.com reader.
even if he’s not one of them, someone needs to tell him that when you sleep with dogs you get fleas.. (especially four to a bedroom in bushwick). i wouldnt erase the video cuz sometimes the attention one craves isnt always positive, and it IS attention someone in a horse mask playing shitty music on a crowded subway is trying so desperately to get. congratz, sarah jessica parquero! you got it!
*rob*
“even if he’s not one of them, someone needs to tell him that when you sleep with dogs you get fleas.. (especially four to a bedroom in bushwick).”
In this case, you’ll get bedbugs.
Let’s see…you came here on scholarships…you’re able to come here and go back home…hmmm…is there any particular reason why you didn’t stay here and work, and felt it necessary to piss away a shitload of money on airline tickets back and forth? Yeah, you’re not a hipster….LMAO
Can’t work legally with a study visa, mate.
Yeah, but you can find work anyway mate. Ever heard of bussing tables?
Logan,
You admittedly earn a living in this country, as a “musician” on the subway. You also return to your country, not to work, be honest, but, rather, not to overstay your tourist visa. You have no work visa, do you? Be honest.
If you are not a hipster, you are worse. You are an illegal alien posing as a hipster. No wonder you cover your face, lest ICE come and deport your sorry ass for violating our work, labor and tax laws.
“We don’t play in the subway for fun, you know? We are paying our rents with it. ”
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE SON.
YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT.
Exactly. I would visit friends in the 90′s and play music at the Astor Place stop to earn a few bucks to buy a falafel. There’s no way you’re paying your fucking rent doing that.
Oh, damn, fuck this douche bag. The fuck he think he is? Come to NYC, and the world should revolve around you wimpy wishes? The fuck outta here, Holden.
General observation – if you can afford to go “back home” for 4 months every year, you’re a douche interloper and I have zero sympathy for you. Some of us like to go out dancing, and some of us have to work.
Stu out.
Lmao @ “Holden”
sweet jane Velvet underground reference? “Some of us like to go out dancing, and some of us have to work.”
I’m throwin’ the bullshit flag on old boy’s response. Sounds fishy to me.
Yep, the phony bad English from an alleged student, and “hispanic” is an American garbage can PC term. No one from Central or South America (and definitely not a Brazilian), or the Caribbean, would call himself “hispanic”, he would be Columbian, Nicaraguan, Cuban, or whatever. If he was from Europe, a Spaniard.
His story is crappier than his alleged music, and that raises crappy to a science.
If he’s a student, what the fuck is he studying that he can tolerate living in a four person fleapit? When I was in college, I had to have an apartment with my own room where I could sleep uninterrupted. I was too busy to bother with musical gigs at 3am and getting fucked up.
If he can afford it, why isn’t he living further out in Brooklyn or Queens and concentrating on his studies? He’d have a lot more money and wouldn’t need to put on the stupid horse head and play the xylophone in the subway to annoy people.
Then again, what important thing is he studying anyway? Sustainable Lesbian Basket Weaving in 14th Century Idaho?
That’s only 1 module in the course he’s doing – Gender Roles in American Manufacturing Industry – which sounded like it might have a practical application to his parents one day.
hahahaha
This.
he could be reverse fishing but it’s still gold.
Someone should peel his trimmed mustache off him and glue it back on as a unibrow. Viva la Evolution!
“America’s expensive rent”?? Seriously he does realize that 99% of the rest of America doesn’t have rent that high? You can live like a king in the suburbs for what he is paying in rent and not have to have rats crawl over him.
I had a hipster encounter. somehow I found myself in bed with a zoey. She was plucky and a little on the dumpy side but boy could she suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. Afterwards she asked me to go to a coffee shop where she ordered a 8 dollar cup of joe and then she showed everyone a little video on her iPhone of her sucking me off. All the hipsters were watching and looking at her and me. It was weird. I now have 20 hipsters trying to friend me on FB. All sorts of Megans, Molly’s, Sara’s and Emma’s trying to bed me. They all say they are sick of the gumby physiqued faggot hipster dudes that can’t get it up unless they are watching sesame street and playing lou Reed records. I didn’t think I’d like hipster chicks due to the massive bush element and overall lack of showering and hygiene but I am getting used to these midwestern, grain fed, fat ass pseudo creative types playing my rusty trombone. Also, hipster chicks are all pseudo lesbians and have no problem teaming up on me. Too bad their Ethan’s and Caleb’s are too busy watching star trek reruns and playing with skateboards to satisfy the female hipsters. Its actually a good thing. And btw’ hipster chicks suck ass too.
Feeling itchy? Dripping some?
Bullshit flag!
Get it b…longdick these hipster hoes….someone else has too!
Oh, i skateboard and have been for almost 23 year, and am a huge music, art, and book head, dj, producer, and fashion head, but I also work out five days a week, lift weights, and kickbox heavily too. Honestly, gerting with hipster hoes is mad fun! And its ten time easier when you’re a guy who actually ahs muscle tome amd hasny had all the tetstorrpne.sucked.out pf their body. I sure as hell wouldnt date them, but it’s funto bang em out the way the dudes they usualy cant amd womt
The key is to make sure to tell the to leave your apartment afterward.
I remember almost 9 years ago i boinked some hippie/proto hipster when ai was 19 in my college dorm and wouldn’t leave until almost 5! You dont wqnt birds like that turning into squatters.
*the.next day. Sorry typos.abound!
LULZ “birds”
Spot o’ tea, maybe, Winston?
“can’t get it up unless they are watching sesame street and playing lou Reed records.”
hahahaha!!
well, a side effect of adderall is decreased sex drive so it makes sense that they would be some of the world’s worst lays.
I call bullshit on that. You’re trying too hard, son.
Logan,
Just in case it didn’t come through:
We don’t want you here. The most polite reaction you’re going to get from a New Yorker is an eye roll.
“And do you think I like wearing that horse mask?”
Yes you miserable puke. Yes I do. You’re an arrested development attention whore without the actual musical talent to attract the attention you need.
And above all things, the fact that you actually sent an email to diehipster to whine about your treatment proves beyond the shadow of a doubt what an insecure shitbag you are.
Go cry in you Kopi Luwak Latte Nancy…err…Logan.
Logan, is this you trying to be cute and quirky??
http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/zip/2857790870.html
He’s looking for a home. He’s a freeloader/freebie that comes with the free sofa.
Just feed him 4 times a day and give him plenty of PBR and coke and he’ll be fine.
Let’s do a little ironic whimsy ‘ala ” Godfather” and get this horsehead in the bed of the Mast Brothers.
God stop these two before they get their degrees in Sartorial Pet haberdashery and embark on some quirky, annoying business…like Kombucha Joe Bubble Gum.
hahahhahahhahahhahhahahhahahahahahha
Logan,
When you say you are from another country I think you mean another state. I see your instrument of choice is an banjo. the banjo is pretty much an american thing. Where did you pick it up? come on fess up………..? Arkansas? West Virginia? Missouri? You see Logan, these are not other countries, they are other states. Banjo music is almost a strictly american tradition. So either you are not from another country or you just kind of bought the banjo in a thrift shop and assumed you were just super-cool enough to naturally play it. Now I hate to break this to you but there is not a single piece of music for marimba and banjo. So it seems that you and you belly warmer just kind of picked this junk up at the Brooklyn flea and thought us uncultured Brooklyn thugs didn’t know what real music sounded like and would assume since you were a hipster you knew what music was? In case anybody didn’t want to hurt your feelings YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO PLAY MUSIC!! I suspect you don’t even know what music sounds like so take all you CD’s and tapes and 8-tracks and whatever is on you $400 ipod touch and throw it the fuck out. Now go find a bunch of kitchen utensils, throw them up in the air and listen to the sound when they hit the pavement. That is closer to music than what you are playing. You are complete fraud and we caught you. Now stop messing up my subway ride with you talent. If you want to entertain me get in front of the train when it is coming into the station
now lets go to the usefull “All Music Guide” to get a discription of some bands found on Pitchfork:
Formed in Seattle by a group of northwestern transplants, the Head and the Heart is an indie folk band whose influences include Americana, country-rock, and classic Beatlesque pop. The lineup came together in 2009, when songwriters Jonathan Russell and Josiah Johnson met at an open mic event at Seattle’s Conor Byrne Pub. Pianist Kenny Hensley, bassist Chris Zasche, violinist Charity Rose Thielen, and former Prabir & the Substitutes drummer Tyler Williams rounded out the roster, and the Head and the Heart spent the first half of 2010 touring the Pacific Northwest before self-releasing their eponymous debut in June.
or
The Brooklyn-based group TV on the Radio mix post-punk, electronic, and other atmospheric elements in such a creative way that it only makes sense that their core duo, vocalist Tunde Adebimpe and multi-instrumentalist/producer David Andrew Sitek, are both visual artists as well as musicians. Adebimpe is a graduate of NYU’s film school and specializes in stop-motion animation, which his Brothers Quay-like video for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs single “Pin” amply demonstrates. He is also a painter, as is Sitek,
or
TUnE-yArDs is the lo-fi experimental folk project of Merrill Garbus, also of the noisy indie pop band Sister Suvi. A truly solo project, Garbus began writing and performing under the tUnE-yArDs moniker in 2006. She assembled songs with a digital voice recorder and shareware mixing software, making a homespun patchwork of found sounds, field recordings, ukulele, unusual percussion, and her surprisingly soulful vocals. It took Garbus two years to piece her debut album, Bird-Brains, together, then she offered it as a pay-what-you-want download
Yikes!
I take perverse pride in having Travis Morrison (ex-frontman of the Dismemberment Plan)’s solo album Travistan, the only album to get a 0.0 from Pitchfork. (I got it because I like the D-Plan…..and it has two really good singles – “Born in ’72″ (acknowledging that growing up white, male, and middle-class in the suburbs wasn’t hard) and “Che Guevara Poster” (comparing trendy Trustafarian socialists in college to his real Communist grandfather, who had a pretty good reason to be a Commie….)
That’s just another way of saying “I found all my instruments in the trash”.
My cousin is in TV on the Radio (Tunde).
I like TV on the Radio. It’s unmistakably hipster music. But it’s pretty good hipster music. Put a thousand hipsers in a room with a thousand instruments and once in a great while they’ll get one right.
I’ve only heard their first two albums though…
Yeah TV on the Radio is good, should not be lumped in with generic boring indie rock.
So Logans life probably went something like this:
Born in Fort Collins Colorado and played vido games up to and through High School. What Logan never grasped was simple. Logan was a bit of a dick. Couldn’t figure out why he kept getting pantsed and stuffed into lockers. Logan thinks that I listen to bands nobody else does and read books that nobody knows about, why doesn’t everybody realize how cool I am? Well, it must be because nobody in Fort Collins is smart enough, or cool enough to realize what they are missing. I’ve heard of this magical Brooklyn place. Clearly Brooklyn is smart and cool enough? I mean not only is my girlfriend “totes” and “adobes” I am zany! Hell, not only am I zany, I am zany and QUIRKY! I’ll go to school in Brooklyn! All I have to do is get off the plane and all of Brooklyn will suddenly realize I am zany and quirky .
Well it didn’t work out that way. Logan moved to Brooklyn and guess what? Everyone around me was zany and quirky too! At least in my immediate apartment and nabes, but, like, the uncultured people going to work just do not realize that I am zany and quirky, they just ignore me and to this “work” thing. I think “work” is something my dad used to do so that is definitely not for me. I am just not getting enough attention. If people would just look at me they would quickly realize I am an artist!!! A zany and quirky ARTIST. OK, I will go down to the Brooklyn Flea and pick up my zany supplies……A horse head and a banjo!!! Now I’ll show them all. So our friend Logan, puts on his horse head, plays his banjo, and guess what? Nobody cares. Because you see, Logan, you really are just a bit of a dick . And Logan? You bought the wrong end of the horse. You may wear the horses head, but everybody sees you as the horses ass. Real Brooklyn has found you, and judged you , and found you very much wanting. Go home Logan, go home
Hi Logan,
A) You don’t hate hipsters – you ARE a hipster
B) The reason you are in Bushwick is so you can tell people you are ‘Bushwick
Based’. I don’t believe for one second that you are Hispanic, and if you were you’d probably encounter plenty of Hispanic people that would clue you in to the fact that Jackson Heights, Elmhurst, Corona, and Woodside just for starters all have huge Latin populations and rent way lower than Bushwick – of course you’d lose hipster points for living in places so ‘unhip’ that just contain normal people.
C) Why are you even here when you have no job and cannot afford it? There aren’t plenty of schools where you are from( in American flyover land?)
D) I know you’re not a hipster, and its just a coincidence of course, but nice job fighting the hipster stereotype of having a quirky, whimsical Asian girlfriend as an accessory.
Go home – nobody wants you here, you attention starved cliche
E) How many “hispanics” do you know named “Logan”?
What happens when hipsters get their trust funds and allowances cut off and they have to move back to Wisconsiohiominnetucky?
THIS…is that happens:
I remember this show!!!
Pretty damn accurate.
thought we had to reply. Glad you did for me, breaking down shit like usual.
*sigh* As always to my brother and sister Native New Yorkers(im not saying I am one. Brothers and sisters in the sense I am humbly living as your neighbor and public servant and fellow poster)I apologize for my people. Spot on attack DH and team! When my ma came home a few years ago, she was shocked at the level of suspended animation that has occurred in her city. She was hit with nausea when she saw is referred to as art now. She is amazed by cluelessness that fills the subway. She said it feels like a mall.
After showing her the What Native New Yorkers say, she called me a few days later and told me stories of her city in the 60′s and 70′s. You could hear her getting verklempt on the other end of the line. I told her about DH…. Turns out she secretly reads this site at work! AHAHAHAHA. She thought I was transplanted ally, but she wasnt sure. She is thankful for two things. 1)I get to hear about Real New York from your stories. It was the New York she wanted me to have. It was the New York she gets to hear about again. 2)she is thankful for the newest term in her vocabulary she learned from reading on here….butt hurt.
Hipsters, you will have to look up “verklempt”. If you were from around here you would know what that means. As an alternative, you can walk down Bedford on the south side of the Williamsburg Bridge and ask you your landlord (the guy in the black coat and furry hat) what that word means.
LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Doesn’t your city have some kind of nuisance ordinance? Why don’t the cops drag these fools out of the subway? I lived in downtown Atlanta for 30 years and if the transit cops saw something like this, they lock this asshole up.
Forget the cops, even. If this idiot got within 10 feet of me or anyone else, for that matter, he’d get swept into an instant face plant. Hell, he would probably catch a beat down just on GP.
Think he was inspired by Pee Wee?
LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Yee gads!
LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
LOOK AT US
WE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO URBAN
PIONEERS OF URBAN STREET DANCING
Notice at :23 and :29 the douchebag omega-male looks over at the camera.
“Have to make sure someone is looking at me!!! Look! Look at meeeeeeee!”
I saw that too. “You ARE looking at MEEE, right? Just double checking. LOOK AT MEEEE!!!”
A disgrace to white people everywhere.
Okay guys, which song should I do a spoof of next for tomorrow?
Enter Sandman by Metallica
or
Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
I’m laughing already just thinking about this. I’d probably go with Teen Spirit just due to the connection with Seattle, and flannel shirts.
I’m getting the urge to try one as well. LOL
For the love of god! So it was a long weekend working. Had some personal issues at the house. It was time for a beer and a scotch. This new bar opened down the block. Its pretty good. It seems to be run by nice people, and they include ALL of us, fire, police and thank you jesus! EMS. We get half off. Anyways NORMAL people seem to frequent it. It plays old soul and some popular music and it has the dreaded darker people in it. So I thought I was relatively safe… UNTIL tonight! BEARDO! And I’m talking GRRRANNNY dressed meeeegan. Now I almost hired myself as the bouncer. Jesus they just flap their gums with so much self important bullshit!!! I didn’t want to wear out my welcome with these nice business owners. I want them to make a buck and succeed. But at what cost.
Is Hipsterism on its way out yet? it needs to fall out of fashion already…and why are not more people kicking the crap out of these annoying shit stains?
Logan, why is it that you insist on being here? We have been full to capacity with quirky zany types exactly like you for many years now. So what is the attraction of living in your overpriced hovel with 4 roomates and having mices crawl all over you? I don’t believe that you make enough money working the subways in your horse head to cover your rent every week. I don’t believe you’re “Hispanic” with a name like Logan. Many Hispanics, i.e. Mexicans, Guatemalans, El Salvadorians come and work and send money back to their families, instead of their families supporting them to infinity. I’m sure you don’t do that.
This is so good! Hipster beating in first person! This blog always goes that extra mile to deliver that very special extra goodie to its fans! We should do this more often!
I think we sent Logan packing!
http://i.imgur.com/uvyoc.jpg
That definitely looks like him!
Flight Attendant: ‘can I get you anything?’
Logan the Hipster: ‘Yes – cruelty free scrambled eggs, a plate of free range chicken, some organic hummus, and a cup of fair trade Ethiopian blend coffee with a saucer of soy milk.’
Flight Attendant: ‘I’ll bring you some oats in a feedbag, hipster.’
Hipsters angry that they can’t get free American Apparel clothes: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/19/american-apparel-shoplifting_n_1285313.html
his sidekick is a fuckin banana–he is a HIPSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gotta be the world’s first hispanic “Logan”..
Hey Logan. You and your quirky asian gf can go fuck yourselves. I am sick of seeing you hipsters ruin NYC. I can’t even get my tat work done b/c you bastards are camping tat shops and stinking it up with your clove cigarettes.
GO THE FUCK BACK HOME.