Williamsburg Street Fashion Part 3
Posted: February 16, 2012 Filed under: Main 76 Comments »Not as good as the parts 1 & 2 but still saves me from having to think of a post. Hopefully parts 4 - 8 will dive a little deeper into the minds of these parentally subsidized pseudo-artists and why they love Brooklyn. Enjoy.
I think the commentator should have ended every interview with:
“Thanks for that concise, in depth explanation of your quirky and edgy fashion sense. Now hand over your f*cking i-Phone”.
LOL and you probably don’t even have to brandish a gun or knife to get them to hand it over!
Absolutely fucking repulsive these hipsters are.
In the Home Section of today’s Post, there is an article on Gravesend, and how old school Brooklyn shops still thrive. Get ready for an influx of Calebs, Quinns, Pakers, Harrisons, Logans, Zooeys, and Mollys making weekday afternoon urban exploration treks to Avenue U.
I cringe any time part of hipster free New York is exposed in the media, because these mindless sheep in smelly wool hats are such followers, and if it makes the paper, Josh has to check it out.
Was this video shot in billyburg? Are Bananarama early bird hipsters?
BTW this video was nothing like the first two, please dont let us down on the fourth.
On brighter sides, share this one with your local hipster and listen to him whine “I don’t think that’s funny AT ALL.”
http://scrappdx.org/news/news/hipster-chia-pet-in-5-easy-steps/135/
“The Portland winter is long and dreary. Brighten up your space with something that’s green and growing! Using items from a thrift store, your attic (or SCRAP), and a garden center, you can quickly put together a hip and cheery living accent for your home recording studio, underground letterpress society, bike repair shop, or local organic brewery.
Once it’s had time to grow, your Hipster Chia will look impressive on your end table next to the ship in a bottle, your mustache on a stick, and your signed photo of Colin Meloy. Plan to grow just one, or make a family of three to place on your dining table for your next vegan potluck.”
“The grass takes about five days to grow into the lush specimen pictured above; keep adding water and additional grass seed as needed to ensure your Hipster Chia’s appeal for weeks to come. Prepare for compliments from your acupuncturist, the guy that delivers you soup on his bike, your friends from hot yoga, and your tattoo artist.” LMAOOOO!!
Well, if you call 5 blades of grass lush, I guess you’ve somehow succeeded. That is hilarious. They should put one on top of that owl/polar bear sculpture nightmare at the Etsy office.
http://brooklynpaper.com/stories/35/7/24_kolaches_2012_02_17_bk.html
Her Name is Autumn.
She’s opening the Brooklyn Kolache Co. (wouldn’t Texas Koalche Co. make more sense?)
I wonder if bacon will play into any of the varieties…….
Aw, geez. Yeah, we have kolaches all over Texas, but (as you guys know all too well about Brooklyn food), we don’t make a big deal about it. Most bakeries around here make a few to augment doughnut sales, and one down the street from my house makes some damn good ones, but to base a business around them? Good luck.
I had never even heard of these prior to a trip to Dallas (and unfortunately also Austin) a few years ago. Pretty good. But I think we got a dozen for like 2 bucks. they were just the plain ones with little smokies in them or whatever. How much would a hipster pay for such an exotic treat? Two bucks apiece? Three? Seven?
That’s the most facinating part of the hipster phenomenon to me. The idea that any one product makes an entire store. Remember the one bozo who rented out a store and filled it all with only one book? 20,000 copies of some self-published pile of crap? Why not a store that only sells kolaches? Why not one that only sells kolache dough?
The worst part is that they don’t seem to ever have to pay for these stupid ideas. The good part is that this doughy megan will be out of business within 6 months.
EXACTLY. A good kolache is pretty much dough, a smokie, and a bit of time in the oven. They don’t take long to make, and they take even less time to eat. They’re perfect if you’re going on the road or you’ll be doing a lot of hard work in the morning, and you want something a bit more substantial and less sugary than doughnuts. They aren’t New York-style bagels (and you can find those in Dallas if you know where to look), but they get the job done.
That’s why this whole concept is so nuts. Let’s put it this way. Most doughnut shops close at noon for a reason: most people only want doughnut shops in the morning, and there’s no point in the shop staying open if customers aren’t coming in. Kolaches are even more of a breakfasty food than doughnuts: they don’t keep well, and they’re definitely not something where you sit down to a big plateful and chow down for dinner. Even with the folks who might be curious and give it a shot, why oh why would they have a reason to come back a second time, much less a third, fourth, or fifth time?
And you’re absolutely right about that hipster fascination with one product=one store. Hell, even pot dealers try to offer some kind of selection these days, so that a loss of interest in one batch doesn’t wipe them out that week. I have no doubt that kolaches could take off in Brooklyn, and I’d love to see what Brooklyn’s local bakers could do with them. And that right there is why this ditz is going down: she’s got a product that anybody else can copy and improve upon, and she doesn’t have anything else by which she can compete with them.
We don’t make a big deal out of it? Who’s we? The towns of West and Caldwell have been fighting for years over who is the “real” kolache capital. It is a big deal in Texas, though why is beyond me. Kolaches are essentially pigs in a blanket with an exotic name.
Just thought I’d share these before they get deleted.
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jinx from bk says:
and I wouldn’t mind holding her kolaches either
Today, 2:22 pm
hipsterminator from brooklyn says:
@jinx from bk
Dude, get glasses. She’s hideous.
Then again, you’re a hipster so you wouldn’t know any better now would you?
Today, 6:22 pm
You know, I saw that comment about holding her kolaches yesterday too and I was thinking the same thing as you were. I wouldn’t even want to touch that chick to save my own life!
Let’s see how long these stay up for.
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Hipsterminator from Brooklyn says:
Does she have 3 sisters named Spring, Summer and Winter? If so, that’s 4 trust funds her (soon to be) poor parents are paying out.
@jinx @prillis
She is neither attractive nor ambitions. She’s fat, ugly and stupid. I wouldn’t touch her with a fifty foot pole. Bet she’s still hotter than anything you’ve shagged
Now go back to posting your teensy weensy pee-pees on Craigslist.
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Today, 6:32 pm
Hipsterminator from Brooklyn says:
“Photo by Elizabeth Graham” WTF?? Did they actually send a second person in to take those 2 photos??? Does Sarah Zorn not know how to use a camera??… Uh, never mind, she’s a hipster too.
Guess you can afford that luxury with a full staff of unpaid interns.
Today, 6:35 pm
“Lease 1,000 square feet” This dumb ass shit works if you own the space, not if you lease. The owner is probably still collecting on the last 3 failed leases. It must be great to be the owner in hipsterville. I bet it was a “one stop shop for all things puppets” before this and the next lease is going to be “Cruelty free 8-tracks and VHS tapes”
Cruelty free 8-tracks…so good. Free range 45s and such.
Vegan wax cylinders – no cruelty to bees!
When this fails, she can open a store that sells only two dresses. Not two types or styles of dresses, but only has two dresses in its inventory.See episode 6, season 2 of Portlandia.
now that being “from brooklyn” is as valuable an accessory as a new macbook, i created a little game to amuse myself and make these schmucks feel uncomfortable. any time i’m at one of these bars and hear someone mention that they are “from brooklyn,” i just act excited, as if it’s an amazing coincidence that i met someone else from there. then i let it sit there for a minute, and innocently ask where they went to grammar school. that always leads to a good amount of stammering, as Logan tries to backtrack and explain that well, he was actually BORN in iowa, but he’s lived here for 6 years, and he’s seen the neighborhood change so much.
i love doing this because it makes these chooches feel like exactly what they are–poseurs. and there’s nothing real, died-in-the-wool hipsters hate more than poseurs.
They are not FROM Brooklyn! I am from Brooklyn! My birth certificate says Wyckoff Heights Hospital. They LIVE in Brooklyn. and probably not for so long. When you talk to them make they clear. They are not FROM Brooklyn.
i know, that is why it’s funny to ask them where they went to grammar school. because then they realize they are beat.
These trendy motherfuckers have such a hard on for being urban that the hasids could raise the already inflated rents another $1,000 – $2,000 a month and they would still pay it
These trendy motherfuckers have such a hard on for being urban that the hasids could raise the already inflated rents another $1,000 – $2,000 a month and their parents would still pay it.
FTFY.
Got it. I will use this
I will gladly play this game. I’ve been hit on a few times by hipsters so I will do this next time. I remember saying to a friend you are a native New Yorker when you have dealt with the school system prior to college.
My junior high was under a garage no lie. It doesn’t get more ghetto than that.
Exactly. The fact is that the world kids who actually grow up in any urban area live in and the world people who moved there as “adults” live in are two completely different worlds. You really don’t know a damn thing about an area unless you grow up in the schools.
SwampYankee, you are 1000% right! Like you, my birth certificate says Caledonian Hospital, right outside of Prospect Park, born 1962, and damn proud of it. Living in Brooklyn DOES NOT MEAN “FROM” BROOKLYN! Born in Brookyn means “from” Brooklyn, something these hipster douchbags will NEVER be able to claim. Keep up the great posts. I hate these motherfuckers and love giving them the death stare knowing they’re too pussified to do anything about it!
I almost refuse to believe this happens in real life. I’ve only ever heard of it on the internet. Do people really say they are “from Brooklyn,” those exact words, when they aren’t?
YES, i grew up in bensonhurst but i’ve spent a lot of time in those neighborhoods, and it happens all the time. think about it: there is nobody who will ever call them on it, as everyone they spend time around is a poseur too.
Do you really think the Masturbation Brothers, those fucking redbeard douchebags, would ever confess to being from Iowa if it wasn’t so easy to expose the lie?
I guarantee that they’d claim they were born and raised right in Williamsburg if they could have any chance of actually getting away with it.
hahaha corny-ass motherfuckers
That’s why they’ve been using the term “Brooklyn-based”. They may be in Brooklyn now, but 5 years ago they were in Pennsylhiowa, and they know people know this.
If I see a business or band has to advertise itself as “Brooklyn-based” I’m pretty much assured the people running it are NOT from Brooklyn. They didn’t go to grammar school, junior high, high school and probably not even college here, and their birth certificates are not from any hospital in the 5 boroughs. “Brooklyn-based” bands are the worst offenders.
BROOKLYN BASED = RELOCATED TO BROOKLYN DURING THE INFLATED RENT ERA
I’ve heard it, too, when they come back home when the money runs out. “Oh, I live in Dogfelcher Falls these days, but I’m really from Brooklyn.”
Wow.. that would really piss me off if I heard someone say that in regards to my area. “I’m really from *insert working class neighborhood where I grew up but moved out of* ” is something I find myself saying quite often to distinguish myself from the spoiled shits who actually grow up in the area I moved to.
Fuck them. You’re from where you grow up… end of story.
Sure. If you were born here and someone asked you where you were from you would say: Gravesend, Bensonhurst , Fort Hamilton , or Gerritson Beach. You would never say “Brooklyn”
when traveling, i always tell people i’m from brooklyn. BUT…if i meet a native new yorker, i cringe to say i’m originally from carroll gardens.
Carroll Gardens is not so bad. The newly reopened Brooklyn House of Detenion has the yupsters all in a lather
Try “South Brooklyn”. That’s what it was called before Buddy Scotto (I believe) came up with Carroll Gardens, but you might still have to explain the exact location. Carroll Park might have been a better name. The library on Clinton at Union used to be called the Carroll Park Branch even though it was a couple of blocks away from the park.
The old sign with that name was taken down but used to be kept in the gated area in front of the building, maybe waiting for The Restoration.
They’re from Brooklyn, alright. Brooklyn, OH or Brooklyn, MI maybe.
Speaking of games, I know I can’t be the only one who does this.
My typical commute to work is either the N-L off at Bedord or bus to F-G off at Nassau.
The other day I see a hipster get on at 53rd St. in Brooklyn (N was local) with his Asian GF who had her hair dyed orange. I sat there placing a bet in my head that they would get off at 14th St. to transfer for the L.
Turns out she got off at Atlantic, but sure enough, he got off at 14th St, and also got off the Bedford stop on the L train. I burst out laughing.
So now anytime I have to deal with the L or the G trains I start playing “let’s guess where this hipster will get off the train” in my head.
Another game my BF and I have started a few weeks ago is “I Spy” but we do it with hipsters. It gets really funny when we say it out loud and they’re right in front of us on a line.
With a stick.
THESE FUCKING INFLATED RENT PAYING PIECES OF SHIT ALL LIE ABOUT WHERE THEY ARE ORIGINALLY FROM
a few months ago DC got an influx of occupiers from NYC and even though both you and I know none of those fucking cum stains are originally from NYC they were all claiming to be from NYC
BITCH. SLUMMING IT FOR A FEW WEEKS UNDER A TARP OR A HOMEMADE TENT IN MANHATTAN DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE FROM NYC.
MOTHERFUCKING LIAR PIECES OF SHIT
im tellin you, ask them where they went to grammar school. it’s hilarious.
They do the same here in Austin, ask them where they’re from – “I just moved here from California/Brooklyn/Chicago”, persist and ask them where they are from originally and the answer is “Iowa”
James at 1:10 looks like the kind of guy who steps out of the show to take a piss.
Fucking worthless Beta Male if there ever was one. Parentally-funded piece of shit go back to Wisconsin.
Other videos are just as great
“Hi my name is katie and I like to fuck strangers.”
I’d love to drown her in my cum
Ok, here’s a question I’ve been meaning to ask for a while – you guys clearly hate the hipsters that have moved into Brooklyn and I can see why, but do you also hate tourists coming to Brooklyn? And aside from laughing at hipsters and drinking over priced artisan coffee, what is there to do in Brooklyn?
I’m not trolling – I’m coming to visit my sister in law in New York in March and wondered what there was to see.
Fine with the tourists coming to Brooklyn. Believe or or not I must seem kind of approachable because people are always asking directions. I always steer them away from the usual crap and send them to the Lower East Side (The Pickle Guys, Russ & Daughters, local shops) Sometimes to Brooklyn. Yes, Williamsburg for the freak show. Prospect Park for the shops and really nice houses, Cobble Hill, Brooklyn Heights. always liked the Botanical Gardens and the Brooklyn Museum. Brooklyn Bridge Park has some of the best views in the city. I also send them on the 7 train. Get off pretty much anywhere and you can have a different meal from around the world, and lets face it, Flushing Chinese Resteraunts are every bit as good as the Chinatown equivalent. In short, do the tourist stuff (Empire State, Statue of Libery , Ground zero for a day or 2, then get out to the place where real folks live and yes……go see the freak show
Speaking for myself, I don’t hate tourists or transplants that aren’t attention seeking wanna-be’s that are well into their 20′s and 30′s walking around like they are rockstars and artists while overpaying for everything from lettuce to coffee to rent. There are people that move here, hold normal full time jobs that dress and act normal. For more clarification about this and other things go to the FAQ page. Thanks.
BROOKLYN BASED = LEECHING OFF OF THE BROOKLYN NAME CREATED BY NATIVES AND HARD WORKING IMMIGRANTS
This is off topic, but I saw a video on here of a train car full of hipsters. Your comment was that someone should have pulled the emergency brake. I can’t remember where it is. Can you post or send me the link? It’s the god damndest thing I’ve ever seen. How do you put up with these freaks?
Don’t worry – I know you don’t hate anyone who just happens to move to a city and start a life there, it’s the behaviour of a subset of them that is worthy of ridicule.
I ask on the Brooklyn tourist aspect, simply because most of the guide books you can buy here in the UK seems to stop at the Brookyln Bridge! This may seem slightly trite, but aside from an element of curiosity I don’t want to see the “hipster brooklyn” described on here, simply because I can get decent mayo and coffee anywhere. I’ll probably stand out like a sore thumb going into a local bar, but it seems to me that the “real” Brooklyn is something that’s not found in Manhatten, for example.
Thanks for asking the question and thanks to others for the replies and recommendations for visiting in the area. I am thinking about coming by in the summer.
Coney Island, Brighton Beach, even during the winter are worth a visit. Brooklyn’s China Town ain’t bad either. The waterfront in Red Hook is pretty cool, and a walk west on Atlantic Avenue from 4th Avenue to the harbor is always worthwhile. Stop at Montero’s for a beer at the westernmost end. If your idea of a good time is enormous amazing Victorian houses, check out the area just east of Coney Island Avenue between Church Avenue and Cortelyou Road, then stop at 773 Lounge at Cortelyou and Coney Island Avenue for a beer. I always like to work in a beer stop when I’m doing my Rula Lenska routine (anyone remember Rula Lenska?).
“I’m Rula Lenska…..” She would make a great drag act. The era of “thanks for the gumball Mickey”, and the yule log…. warms my childhood heart. The Yule log is all over the internet now, but can anyone tell me if WPIX still plays it ? I’ve been away a while….
i feel like they do, but im not 100% sure.
*rob*
They still do but only for a few hours now (might have been cut down to only an hour) but not 24 hours like it used to be.
Thanks for all the advice guys – really looking forward to seeing New York for the first time having done LA and Orlando before.
I love reading this blog simply because no one has a similar one for where I live (London) and these kidults do the same shit everywhere.
Guy,s I’m kind of on the edge today. Please, thell me this is a joke. Artisinal Pencil Sharpening?
http://gothamist.com/2012/02/14/demand_the_best_artesianal_pencil_s.php
You can relax SW – it’s a joke.
It’s a joke, but he goes all the way through with it…he will take your $15 and give you an artisinally sharpened pencil. His customers are in on the joke, I guess, but $15!
P.T. Barnum, as always, was right.
From the “They’re f&*king Everywhere” file: we’re on vacation in SOuth Florida and yesterday we see a spaghetti-shaped Josh standing on the side of the road with his fixie, dressed in skinny jeans, hoodie and pulled down woollen hat.
It was 80 degrees at the time. WTF?
Sadly my wife would not let me run him down.
I heard Miami has an influx if that’s where you were, but it’s mainly latin hipsters.
North Florida cities are not immune either, Tallahassee and Jacksonville are 2 cities to name a few.
Considering the fact that hipsters dress like people do in California and Florida and are trying to turn the cities they move to into the above-mentioned states, you shouldn’t be even remotely surprised to see people dressed that way. Seriously, think about it: the flip flops, the long, lazy-looking dresses, the lazy looking hairstyles, the ridiculously unnecessary fashion accessories.. all of it is shit people in California and Florida do. No offense to them but there’s a reason people out there are more likely to have lazy body types. It works out there and in Florida because they are more laid-back, almost European-like in parts of Florida and in a lot of California.
I like tourists too.
Beards on fire. NOW.
It was the Lake Worth area, not Miami.
bad hipster art:
http://www.freewilliamsburg.com/phedre-in-decay/
The hipster “Losing My Religion” from REM???
Except a lot lamer.
what a piece of shit- absolutely nothing going on in that video that wasn’t totally played out in 1988,
BTW- this situation caught my eye and sent me through the roof this am .. Here’s Schuyler (for real- Schuyler) selling her yoga workshop as “Brooklyn to Denver” I guess little Schuyler brought her “California vibe” to the “mean streets of NY”….. AKA, “let’s infest Williamsburg with commercial yoga bullshit” now she’s “brooklyn based” and spreading her McYoga brand all over the country.
http://colorado.wanderlustfestival.com/schuyler-grant
http://www.wellandgoodnyc.com/2010/09/03/kula-yoga-project-brings-its-killer-classes-to-brooklyn/
“seriously intelligent teachers” and ” half the Kula faculty, which pretty much resides in the hipster hood.”
seriously lame and disgusting
That’s exactly what it is too. They’re trying to turn the cities they move to into California.
I like the hipster girl at the beginning who was completely lacking breasts. She should be a real hit with the closet homosexuals who populate Billyberg.
TRUE THAT! haha.
The interviewer is fouquáblé