107 thoughts on “Brooklyn & Not Brooklyn

  1. “What I wouldn’t give for a large sock filled with horse manure.”

  2. In case anyone misses the connection here it’s Maple Lanes / Bike Lanes. The “be seen in a bikelane while playing flute girl” is just a bonus. Actually that pic is from a very old post I put up – I forget what it was about.

  3. Maple Lanes is great because it just is what it is – a bowling alley, and they don’t feel this need to make it all hip and “geek chic” to keep up with the beta maleization of America – and it is far removed from the flyover whimsical zany playground zone. The true beauty of an old school bowling alley like Maple Lanes is that it once it is built, it never needs to be “remodeled”, doesn’t need an artisanal hummus artisan on site, or any of the other bullshit that caters to the hipster. Just lanes, and a decent choice of burgers, pizza, wings, chicken tenders, etc. I haven’t been there in a while, but if I recall you’d have a hard time finding anything on the menu that wasn’t under $10 – something else that the hipsters would sneer at, because after all, why get a serving of chicken tenders for $6 that could feed 2 people when you can stay north of the hipster line and wait an hour to be seated for the honor of experiencing a $14 piece of toast at Egg.

    And then we have Molly – straight outta Iowa – desperately looking for attention while playing her flute in a ‘gritty urban environment’. Luckily for her she can stop in the center of the bike lane and perform her little look at meeee concert for Caleb the photographer, because there is nobody else using the lane – as usual. But she is making a difference – after all, she’s been campaigning for bike lanes in Neu Breuklein since daddy sent her here, way back in 2007.

  4. Looks cold in that bike lane pic. I’m gonna assume the flute is just frozen to her mouth and leave it at that. What a tool.

  5. They also haven’t cut that bowling alley in half like they did to the one in port authority that now has a fucking dress code.

    • i was in a gay bowling league in that alley (shut up) and then they instituted the dress code… a whole bunch of other stupid rules (no hats allowed, no “street clothes” whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean…) the rules got really fucking stupid and then they only served drinks and food that was really fucking expensive, trying to lure in a higher end clientele. oh and the dress code in the port authority bowling alley is pretty fucking blatantly racist.


      • Wow. I just don’t get that. Like Jaz said, what makes bowling alleys so great is the unpretentiousness of them. No attitudes, no egos, just bowling, good times and easy going people from all backgrounds that just came to bowl, drink some brews, and have fun. This post actually reminded me of all of the fun times I would have bowling in my childhood at all of the great spots in the burgh. The lanea we would go to were awesome. They had like 40 lanea, a huge arcade, pool tables, and all of that. Then it shut down and it became bed bath and beyond.

        When people try to make stuff like that upscale it just ruins it.

      • Is the gay bowling league the onw where the balls are thrown at each other’s chins?

  6. These people come here not knowing how to ride a bike. See how Molly’s not steering a straight line and not paying attention to where she’s going? There’s a car right next to her, that in a split second she could’ve wobbled right in front of.

    I have no problem with people riding bikes, as long as they follow traffic laws, pay attention and ride safely. But these idiots aren’t smart enough/think they’re superior to traffic laws, and are oblivious to the fact that large vehicles like trucks have big blind spots. Some trucks have stickers on them that say “If I can’t see you in my mirrors then I can’t see you”. But of course Noah and Molly from Oklahiowa are so busy texting how kewel they are riding their fixies in Neiuw Breukelen that they didn’t see that. And then CRASH, they get doored and their parents start threatening lawsuits.

    I’ve been to some community board meetings, and a lot of those bike activists make me sick. They really do not understand that they need to obey traffic laws, be observant and ride defensively, or else they are going to end up as hamburger. It’s frustrating as hell arguing with them. It’s always the other person’s fault, it’s never the fact that they were playing a flute or blogging or blasting Animal Death Cab For Matt And Kim Of Montreal Scissor Collective through their earbuds while riding no hands up the wrong side of the street at night and ignoring traffic signals with no reflectors or lights on the bike.

    • Right on Sledgehammer. I witnessed with much disdain the pure idiocy that played out in the streets of Portland while attending graduate school in a city that felt at times more like a high school. The Tour de Cankle in the rose city was a veritable Sunny D shit show, London and Wren on their Double Decker Pol Pot bamboo enhanced bike frames playing live post-Battle Star Galactica-Cajun-Frack funk on their artisan boom boxes. Without helmets and reflector to boot.
      The city goes out of its way to provide dedicated lanes to commute but the hipster must pioneer a more annoying, impractical and look at me way to Tour de Cankle. Without fail I’d observe while riding the bus or biking over to a dedicated lane a Canklestrong Matilda in pumps riding in the fast lane on MLK, earplugs engaged listening to Ned Ludd and the cupcakes. Meanwhile, Matt the garbage man patiently follows in his truck trying to finish up a hard day’s work.
      Ironically, the Portland hipster incessantly boasts about the ease of bicycling in their progressive city but eschews the convenience and safety measures that come along with these dedicated lanes by holding up traffic during their afternoon bike infused band practices. Frustrating.

      • Right now, the big argument in Dallas for getting bike lanes is that “Portland has them, and we want to be more like Portland, right?” I don’t have any problems with bike lanes per se, and I use them whenever they’re available. The problem is that the people yelling the loudest for them are the classic linguini legs who refuse to use them once they’re available. With far too many of the little darlings, it’s less about transport to get your happy ass from one place to another, and more about being the center of attention. They don’t get that attention when they’re in a bike lane.

        Anyway, Dallas is in a financial mess. Not as bad as a lot of other cities, but we’re still recovering from throwing away ridiculous amounts of money on financing a new convention center hotel, a new stadium to make Ray Hunt a few million more, and the whole Victory Park fiasco. Somehow, though, the $16 million to set up bike lanes is vital for our current survival, even though the city doesn’t have actual sidewalks through most of these areas. And over and over, the cry from the hipsters is “But…but Portland has these!”

        • Spot on…”They don’t get that attention when they’re in a bike lane.”

        • Being a Dallas resident for the last 13 years I can 100% agree there is not nearly enough sidewalks anywhere in the DFW metroplex to even warrant conversations about putting in bike lines. Also where the fuck are they going to ride to and from and how? It is over 100F/40c most of the year or bitter cold with wind the other months.

          Next the fuckers will want to shut down lanes on 635/35/75/ to put in bike lines so they can pedal in from the suburbs

        • Is this what I have to look forward to when I visit? I’ve been trying to book a flight to visit friends in and around Dallas. Do I have to bring a Louisville Slugger with me?

  7. With any kind of luck Megan will find a patch of ice and slip down a sewer.


  9. The Pied Piper of Brooklyn. Unfortunately, she’s not leading an army of hipsters into the Gowanus with their penny Farthings.

  10. Does NYC have a bike helmet law?

    So lemme get this straight – I can’t talk on my cellphone while driving, but this whimsical meat curtain can channel Jethro Tull while riding a bike? Whatever happened to natural selection?

    I quote the great Louis Armstrong: What a wonderful world.

  11. The place we bowled at as a kid required us to take the F train to Smith and Ninth, then transfer to a bus..somewhere on ..5th avenue? Then we walked from there..possibly up ninth
    (there used to be a place called The Blossom Shop – a store for “husky” boys and girls – near the stop). I’m wondering if this is the same place.

  12. Does anyone actually know this lady? Or are we just making frustrated pissed off assumptions as usual?

    • We’re just taking educated guesses based on the overall invasion of clueless organic ‘crafty’ suburban fucks like yourself Holden.

      • Whoah, that was agressive, it was just a question, FYI I’m a Mexican, from Mexico City, it’s a physical impossibility for me to come from a suburb. Plus I’m all for what this site does, take a breather, I’m not attacking anyone, and hating on your supporters isn’t a good way to get anything done, just sayin.

        • If your such a supporter than why would you have to ask that question…its a simple hypothesis that she drinks her coffee with breast milk when there are people to watch her.

          • It was a legit question! I make random pissed off assumptions all the time too. Jeez. It was a question because I wonder how the pictures end up on here, it’s a valid inquiry, maybe the picture was taken by the uploader and they weren’t assumptions but actually facts. What’s the big deal? I’m on your side, even though I can’t afford to live here much longer, we have similar problems where I come from, my family has been priced out all the way to the city limits.

          • What the fuck are they doing in Mexico City??!!

            That will be even more short lived than imagined. I can’t imagine them taking over and staying there for that long to be honest. Most of them can’t speak Spanish or they butcher the language so badly that no one can understand them.

          • Oh, it’s worse than that, its Mexican Hipster kids, who are just a Mexican version of these transplants, with their parents living IN THE SAME CITY AS THEM, yet they feel the need to move into “new” and “vibrant” neighborhoods, as if their home life wasn’t good enough. It’s quite pathetic. The worst part is, they just pretty much copy everything that people in Williamsburg do, it’s like a bad copy, of a shitty replica, of a retarded original.

          • “Donde esta la casa da Zooey?”

          • Douche – God that sucks. A friend of mine comes from your city- she probably could have been a useless hipster but instead she’s a true artist- she did this incredible project “Ricas y Famosas”…. I guess a lot of the outrageously wealthy Mexicans she photographed were pissed off when they saw how ridiculous they looked in their natural habitat- others just didn’t get it.


          • Great Project, it’s getting harder to fool these people into unknowingly participate in projects that expose their grotesque nature though, I’m glad someone took a stab at it.

          • I guess I have to give some extremely minimal credit for being embarrassed at the exposure- some of these people were expectedly clueless and narcissitic enough to think the whole thing from start to finish was just “grand”

          • nice stuff

  13. This site makes my day pretty much every day! I’m so glad I’m not alone in my disgust of these waste-o-spaces. I’m confronted daily with the mothers of the future generation of hipsters (don’t be a teacher)..I’ve even started playing paintball to vent so I don’t shank some of these
    “But is the snack GLUTEN FREE/VEGAN/LOCAL/SUSTAINABLE for Little Bear”?
    (NO JOKE REAL NAME!!!!) Meagan/Chloe/Zooey Moms.
    I took my son to play paintball and some hipters showed up to rent gear and try out paintball..my 6 year old (I gave him hot yellow paint so he knew who he tagged out in the game) shot them both in the head..after he said..
    “Hey Mom..I totally got those hipsters for you”!
    I was my lil boys first (sort of) Hipster beatdown!

    • Nice!

    • I gotta ask my cousin if she deals with this mess, she’s a teacher in the Bronx.

      I couldn’t do what you do, I would have used my kickboxing skills on some parent by now. I have enough troubles just working in Williamsburg/Greenpoint.

    • “But is the snack GLUTEN FREE/VEGAN/LOCAL/SUSTAINABLE for Little Bear”?

      LITTLE BEAR???? WTF?? I’ve seen some crazy helicoptering–but–wow

      I hear that being said in Eric Cartman’s mom’s voice. I can’t believe that is real! But that’s hiptards for you. Always taking humanity to new lows.

      Kudos to you for your restraint with those people.

  14. Sorry for the Typos!
    *hangs head in shame*

  15. I get it. Bowling lanes vs bike lanes. I thought someone here mentioned some kind of hipster bastardized “artisinal” neo-bowling place. Kind of that “new age fun with a vintage feel”? (From “Dickheads” by The Grand Spectacular; one of the best anti-hipster songs I’ve heard.) Wouldn’t that have made a better contrast?

  16. Such a fucking Zoey. I’d bet $500 her name is Zoey. Spelled with the two dots over the fucking ‘e’.

  17. What do you think about hipsters from working class families in Brooklyn/NYC who have jobs?

  18. Also it seems as though in music culture that a lot of native NYC musicians have embraced aspects of hipster culture and hipsters themselves. I see quite a lot. For example a rapper out of queens Meyhem Lauren, who is a serious talent, and seems like a serious guy, and is true new yorker, anyways he just released a track which samples a band called Grizzly Bear who are out of Brooklyn and I believe are transplants. I just find this interesting. I also think there is disconnect between generations on this site, because I know many young people who may seem like hipsters but are in fact just young. I remember when yuppies came into the city a long time ago and started ruining it and helping it turn into the sad reflection it is of real NYC that it is today. And now it is happening in brooklyn. I think there is a difference between young people hipsters, and outright yuppies. Also art is very important to our world and so much great art has come out of NYC from Leonerd Cohen, Wu tang, Simon and Garfunkel, I don’t dig the general negativity towards art on this site. although, Fuck the yups. Also I cant help but Bloomberg is happier than ever having yuppies take over, I would blame greedy government/racism more than hipsters.

    • Meyhem is my dude. Lo lifes!

    • “Also art is very important to our world and so much great art has come out of NYC from Leonerd Cohen, Wu tang, Simon and Garfunkel, I don’t dig the general negativity towards art on this site.”

      User is cautioned that the Terms of Use of ArtArtArt module of ClicheBot 3000 clearly state that naming any visual or recording artist known by, listened to, or seen by real people will invalidate the license of ClicheBot 3000. Please remove Simon and Garfunkel from the above post or return your license and Hipsters Local card forthwith.

      ClicheBot 3000 – Doing The Thinking Of The iPad Generation !

    • We don’t hate art. However what most hipsters consider to be art is what we poke fun at. Shitting on a bowl of spaghetti os or taking pictures of dog shit and bubble gum can hardly be considered art.

    • Leonard Cohen is from Canada.

      • Leonard Cohen eats puke.

        • And you are a laughable troll.

          • I am hardly a troll.
            Leonard Cohen is at the very best over rated and ponderously dull, and a very good example of “the emperor’s new clothes” metaphor that gets cited here so frequently.
            Or – I’m just an ignorant hater…

          • Regardless of what one thinks about Cohen, Wu Tang, Simon and Garfunkel they’re all hugely successful and influential….

            The same can’t be said for 30-something freelance photographers Jenny and the Penny Farthing Cankle band with pan flute, tuba, a tiny keyboard and two drummers playing art galleries in East Billyburg hoping to make it big.

          • A reasoned and reasonable response.

          • As usual, I’m late to the party. But I couldn’t let this comment go.

            While I’ll agree, if that was the point of this poster, that Cohen’s voice leaves much to be desired if one is trying to define a great singing voice alone, the fact of the matter is that Cohen was a great *songwriter*. His lyrics and melody were, generally speaking, stellar in combination.

            I’m no huge fan of Dylan’s where his singing is concerned, but he also is a standout songwriter. Obviously not across all genres, but then who really is? Unlike ‘here today, gone tomorrow’ hipster bands past, present, or future, guys like these don’t disappear by the wayside.

            A lesser known, ( despite about 50 years in the music biz ), but fantastic songwriter by the name of Leon Russell is probably also not everyone’s cup of tea. But he’s *at least* a great songwriter, never mind his talent on a piano.

            Luck plays a big part in things and sometimes nepotism does, but so does talent. And Cohen had talent.

            I won’t even bother mentioning Cole Porter, because someone who can’t nod to Cohen’s talent won’t be able to nod to his either.

  19. fuckin muppet mayor bloomberg is the biggest yuptard ever!

  20. Bike lanes are funny to me.

    Its almost as if the addition of any bike lanea will guarantee that people don’t use them. Pittsburgh just got bitten by the bike lane bug and the city added some in hipsterfied Lawrenceville, Bloomfield, and more. They were added MONTHS ago, yet whenever I’m driving I never see ANY bicyclists on them. I’m pretty sure the hipster contingent of the city cried bloody murder just to have these things put in too.

    Its not just the city either. Out where my family lives 30 minutes outside of the city, the park area has been remodeled to have bike lanes put in. And guess what? They dont see any usage either! And to accomplish that goal, all the township/county did was destroy a perfectly.good four lane road (that had no traffic issues) extend a sidewalk, and turned the four lanes into two to accomodate these lanes. Now, not only are they not.being used, but traffic in the area is the WORST it’s ever been!

    Hooray for progress!

    • Sme shit’s happening in DC and MOCO. Asshole Mayor Gray wants to put in 50 MILES of bike lanes so traffic gets even worse and the fucktards don’t use them.

  21. Relax kids, I found her. Her name is Leah Paul. she said she was in a band called the Bridesmaids but they don’t seem to know about her. May she doinked a guy in the band. Anyway, she is self described “bike lane scholar” and is now in a woodwind quartet called……….oh for gods sake must i say it…..? “Bike Lane”. Seems they performed a total of one single time. but hey….she is in a band:

    • OK, so being a masochist, I went over to http://bikelane.bandcamp.com/ to give a listen. My fucking ears are bleeding! They definitely were kicked out of Band Camp. The clip sounds like a camel humping a cricket…

      • How awesome! Only one EP on there since June!

        I don’t get the work ethic (or lack thereof) of some of these brookyln based groups/bands. Like theyll record.one ep under six songs and then call it a day until two years later. Ive had my bandcamp page up since.July of last year and I’m already prepping the 7th and 8th label.release. 3 eps from me and two full lengths. And one release is from a friend of mine. If you must ask, Imaoe electronic music and house.music.primarily…but I’ve been making music and DJing since the late 90s. As much as I do it for fun, I atleast make as much music as possible to keep people interested.

        It reminds me of an article I saw.on here about a brooklyn based band who had rave reviews yet only released a four song EP YEARS ago. How do they expect to keep people interested if they’re not willing to grind? It’s almost as if they just want the attention for.themselves.and the.music is just an accessory.

        • It’s almost as if the allure of being an artist/musician or writer is greater than actually making art, music, or writing to them. Sorry for the typos, I typed this out on my phone.

          • You got it in one. It’s more about the perceived perks of being an artist, musician, or writer than in actually being one. That’s why damn near everybody at SXSW is one of the three, even though they never have any samples to back it up. (Likewise, a few might actually get over their horrible stage fright and produce some art, music, or writing, and then they get butthurt when they don’t get the raving applause they were expecting and quit. Most, though, are like the people who spend ridiculous amounts of money on getting pilot’s licenses but who choke on doing the solo flight necessary to get that license.)

        • Whats the point? She’s been here since 2003. If it was gonna happen, it would have happened. Plenty of work for top flight musicians in NYC. Besides the orchestras every single Broadway musical is required to have live musicians. The problem here is that she is 2nd or 3rd tier at best. She thinks riding in the bike lane with her flute is the way to get attention. In a town where talent is the real currency, she is bankrupt. Game over. Go Home. Pushing 30 and waiting for your “band” to be discovered is a sad state. Kill yourself and make room for the next lemming. The dream is over

        • They don’t have the talent, interest or creativity to make more than that. They have 5 weak songs in them at best. It’s not about making music, it’s about “being in a band” and the rest is supposed to work itself out without them having to continue doing anything. Kind of like the “writing a novel” crowd who don’t write anything.

          • Five songs in the last ten years, but boy oh boy are they good at bringing their instruments into McDonald’s in the hopes that a talent scout might see them and sign them.

  22. She is is a flutist/multi-instrumentalist/composer who has been living in Brooklyn since 2003. Having received her degree from the University of Michigan in 2002 with a focus in flute performance and jazz studies,
    She is originally from Buffalo. Looks like we are stuck with her

  23. I bet homegirl plays a mean skin flute.

  24. Who saw SNL last night? Especially “Being Quirky with Zoey Dechanel”?


  25. [img]http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3nj8eI6pP1qz4c38o1_500.jpg[/img]

    This is what I am doing when you turds are all hating.

  26. Was in the belly of he beast this morning. Metropolitan and Bedford. Was nice to see Mass letting out at Our Lady of Consolation. Plenty of Polish being spoken and dressed up families. Then up Bedford and the horror show begins. Well, not so bad. Cold must have kept them in or it was too early. Twas not to be. Every Fucking coffee shop, and there are plenty, are filled with these moon faces with wool hats, beardos, sunglasses, fingerless gloves and $3,000 dollar macbooks all posting their gulten free, thick framed status on face book. They all look the same. They have no soul, they have no family, they sit in groups and they are all alone. Quite a contrast to the families coming from church. A conversation outside, a joke with the priest, families together, and then off together to Sunday lunch. The moonfaces? The frozen dog shit in the street looked more interesting. I hate these people.

    • I walk down Bedford all the time to get to work.

      I have started making my commute 15 minutes longer to take the G instead of the L so I can avoid the freak sideshow.

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